Things You Like A-z

X-rated Jokes

  1. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
  2. "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
  3. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
  4. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
  5. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
  6. I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
  7. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
  8. What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.
  9. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
  10. "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
 
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