This is a very interesting topic to me, because I think about it a lot. And I don't quite know how to untangle it, but these are some of my thoughts/considerations.
I'm both a bottom and submissive. I am aroused by the use of terms such as bitch/slut etc. when they are being used towards me. I am also aroused by referring to my dick and butt as a clit/pussy etc. For me personally (others will vary, because we are all individuals that have undergone unique experiences of psychosexual development) these are my limits. My arousal from these terms does require a baseline level of mutual consent. The person saying the words must feel comfortable using them, and I have to be comfortable with them being said to me. Sex/sexual activity is only fun when consent is involved. If there's no consent, there's a much more serious discussion to be had if we can even call it sex.
That being said, there are considerations when using these terms for sexual arousal. Namely why do they arouse us? I am a cisgender man. I have spent a lot of time contemplating my gender as an adult, because I wanted to give myself space to contemplate the possibility that I might be something other than what I was told that I am. I never felt any level of dysmorphia or that there was incongruence between the fact that I was AMAB, and that I identify as cis-male. So back to my question, why do these terms arouse me? And potentially other cis-males in similar circumstances?
My answer (not THE answer) is misogyny. In traditional understandings of sexual roles according to heteronormative thinking, we understand men to be INHERENTLY penetrative and therefore dominant, and women to be INHERENTLY receptive and therefore submissive. Any good sex educator/therapist etc. will tell you that those understandings are basically bullshit beyond the act of procreation where the partner (USUALLY cisgender men) with a penis is penetrative and the partner (USUALLY cisgender women) with a vagina is receptive. But for all other instances of sex and sexual activity these are not obligatory roles by any stretch of the imagination. But for some reason, some cisgender men and perhaps other genders (I can only really speak to my own lived experience) continue to be aroused by having our bodies compared to cisgender women. I believe that we have internalized ideas that women's bodies are inherently receptive and submissive, so when we recognize in ourselves that we are submissive we immediately default to the first example of a sexually submissive identity that we are familiar with.
Do I have an idea as how to change this? No. Do I think it is necessarily problematic? I'm not sure. I think it is, but there's also a layer of fantasy to be considered where we conceptualize images in our minds that we have no means or more importantly intent to manifest in our physical reality. So we could chalk it up to roleplay.
Just my thoughts that I've developed over the years of contemplating sexual topics.
