Turned Completely Off!

[Scarletbegonia]

Back when we were into swinging (which is as close to dating a married man can get), the one thing we tried to avoid is couples where either one smoked, even if it meant losing some fun opportunities with women who were otherwise attractive. To me, I could see a woman who is super hot and sexy and the minute she lights up, her attractiveness will drop in scale.

Although sometimes it was knowledge not available at the time and thus could not be avoided, but it always resulted in falling arousal levels and not being able to enjoy myself even if she didn't smoke in front of me since cigarette smell lingers on everything. And I mean everything. In fact one of the worst times I had was with one woman who was gorgeous and very sexual but I just couldn't stay hard enough that we could have sex due to her liking to kiss and I couldn't deal with the ashtray breath. I swear I could smell the tobacco even in her pussy when I was down there. Even to this day I wonder if she bought the story I was too tired to keep it up and finish since I didn't want to offend her with the truth.

I have told guys.
If they cannot handle it, they can go find another idiot willing to waste money on a toxic habit.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Dating can be treacherous..and awkward, and so frustrating, am I right? What's your ultimate deal breaker? The one behavior, or personal trait that stops you cold? And turns you completely off?

Add me to the list of "haven't dated in years" because I've been living with my fella monogamously for some time now... But when I was having casual encounters my instant turn-offs are arrogance, overt fakeness (it's palpable when someone is not being there genuine self) and having opposing opinions on politics/religion. And by that I mean flat out opposing. Having a few differences? Totally acceptable, no one can be 100% on the same page as me on every topic. But if someone disagrees with me on most issues there's no way I can get wet or have any desire to get them aroused on any level.

People who talk over/interrupt others dry me up right quick. And people who try to dictate how much weed I smoke/eat. If I was dating and a person tried to control my consumption that would be an instant end to any further contact.

I also don't like cigarette smokers. Just, no.

 

[evil1796]

Add me to the list of "haven't dated in years" because I've been living with my fella monogamously for some time now... But when I was having casual encounters my instant turn-offs are arrogance, overt fakeness (it's palpable when someone is not being there genuine self) and having opposing opinions on politics/religion. And by that I mean flat out opposing. Having a few differences? Totally acceptable, no one can be 100% on the same page as me on every topic. But if someone disagrees with me on most issues there's no way I can get wet or have any desire to get them aroused on any level.

People who talk over/interrupt others dry me up right quick. And people who try to dictate how much weed I smoke/eat. If I was dating and a person tried to control my consumption that would be an instant end to any further contact.

I also don't like cigarette smokers. Just, no.

There it is! Another potential dealbreaker: Are you 420 friendly, or not? This seems to come up more, and more.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

There it is! Another potential dealbreaker: Are you 420 friendly, or not? This seems to come up more, and more.

There’s a difference between wake n bake and live on the couch between sleeps, and social smoking, and edibles as medicine.

smoke as a physical thing bugs me. Last summer suuucked here (I’m your neighbor...lakewood)

 

[T_Lurch]

Haven't ever dated, so this stuff is foreign to me.

If I were single and had a fighting chance at dating though, I would have to say: smoking (nothing like kissing someone and their mouth tastes like an ashtray, not to mention if you get to sex what their nether regions are gonna taste like infused with nicotine). Halitosis (been around people who had breath that could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon). Take care of the teeth, people. I never smile, but I do brush and floss them regularly and don't want to lose them. Unwashed, funky clothes. You know when someone balls their dirty laundry up in a drawer or a pile on the floor so all the sweat in the clothing ferments and gets that sour milk odor to them? Then they re-wear them instead of putting them in a hamper and putting on fresh clothes. Nasty.

And, as a previous poster pointed out, I would add how they treat the wait staff anywhere when eating out together. Usually a good barometer of how they are in general.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

There’s a difference between wake n bake and live on the couch between sleeps, and social smoking, and edibles as medicine.

Eh... Depends solely on the person. I smoke a lot, every morning. On my lunch breaks. After work. Before bed. Pretty much all day. Just not around people who don't want to be around it. Basically I only smoke at home. But it is an all day, every day event.

I know more people who sleep on the couch all day because they drink than those who smoke weed. Actually, almost every weed smoker I know has a full time job. And the ones who don't are retired after working long enough to do so.

 

[deleted5199391]

Not caring about people, being too selfish. Not washing

 

[evil1796]

There’s a difference between wake n bake and live on the couch between sleeps, and social smoking, and edibles as medicine.

smoke as a physical thing bugs me. Last summer suuucked here (I’m your neighbor...lakewood)

Hey neighbor! How are you?

Eh... Depends solely on the person. I smoke a lot, every morning. On my lunch breaks. After work. Before bed. Pretty much all day. Just not around people who don't want to be around it. Basically I only smoke at home. But it is an all day, every day event.

I know more people who sleep on the couch all day because they drink than those who smoke weed. Actually, almost every weed smoker I know has a full time job. And the ones who don't are retired after working long enough to do so.

There’s a difference between wake n bake and live on the couch between sleeps, and social smoking, and edibles as medicine.

smoke as a physical thing bugs me. Last summer suuucked here (I’m your neighbor...lakewood)

Eh... Depends solely on the person. I smoke a lot, every morning. On my lunch breaks. After work. Before bed. Pretty much all day. Just not around people who don't want to be around it. Basically I only smoke at home. But it is an all day, every day event.

I know more people who sleep on the couch all day because they drink than those who smoke weed. Actually, almost every weed smoker I know has a full time job. And the ones who don't are retired after working long enough to do so.

Haven't ever dated, so this stuff is foreign to me.

If I were single and had a fighting chance at dating though, I would have to say: smoking (nothing like kissing someone and their mouth tastes like an ashtray, not to mention if you get to sex what their nether regions are gonna taste like infused with nicotine). Halitosis (been around people who had breath that could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon). Take care of the teeth, people. I never smile, but I do brush and floss them regularly and don't want to lose them. Unwashed, funky clothes. You know when someone balls their dirty laundry up in a drawer or a pile on the floor so all the sweat in the clothing ferments and gets that sour milk odor to them? Then they re-wear them instead of putting them in a hamper and putting on fresh clothes. Nasty.

And, as a previous poster pointed out, I would add how they treat the wait staff anywhere when eating out together. Usually a good barometer of how they are in general.

Yep, cleanliness is super important to me as well. Luckily, I've only had one instance of this come up, but talk about awkward conversations! But you can learn so much more about a person by the way they treat a server in a restaurant. There is nothing as embarrassing, or enraging than adults throwing a tantrum because they didn't want onions! If they treat complete strangers like that, guess who's next..

 

[1277255]

Neediness and insecurity that is pushed onto me in the form of separation anxiety and paranoia about who I am talking to or where I'm at when I'm not with them is 100% an instant pussy dryer.

I had a partner that would literally want to talk to me at every waking hour in some capacity. Either hours connected on a head set while he was working, texts non stop at night or hours when I should be sleeping arguing about my actions with other people (that I simply spoke to).

It was so ungodly overwhelming and frustrating and made me resent him in ways I don't think I've ever felt towards another human in my life.

Our break up was literally in the middle of one of those late nights where I just flat told him I was done and not to come back over.

My husband (we're poly) had been seeing the decline in my desire for him by the hour for a while. Ugh.

Other things that would be an instant turn off-

Smoking
Not tipping the wait staff or being a dick to them
Hating animals (fuck you they are better than people any day)
Racism
Sexism
Ever referring to me as "just a girl" or "what a woman is meant for".

There's more floating around, but that's my tops.

 

[Sklar]

Smoking

Over tattooed or one large ugly one

Piercings

 

[51arledge]

Smoking
Racism
Rudeness (as noted above, rudeness to wait staff is a big red danger sign).
Tattoos on face, neck or hands.

 

[AVx22]

Due to the fact that I almost exclusively date older white guys, HATE when they vocally fetishize me because I'm black. Have I dated or hooked up with guys who more likely just wanted a young black bf? Probably, but the ones who are extra about it to the point of it being raceplay? HELL NO!

You’re Black and you date White men almost exclusively, but get upset when you’re vocally (as opposed to implicitly) fetishized...?

This has to be the LMAO of 2021.

 

[AVx22]

Smoking.

Drugs.

Rude to others often (restaurant staff, cashiers, etc.)

Uneducated (not necessarily in terms of degree, but in thought, e.g., politically aware, socially aware, and having some kind of wit)

Bad hygiene.

Lack of openness (to new experiences)

 

[HungBtmVegas]

You’re Black and you date White men almost exclusively, but get upset when you’re vocally (as opposed to implicitly) fetishized...?

This has to be the LMAO of 2021.

Imagine thinking you can't date someone of another race without being racist

 

[Infernal]

Smoking, drug use, being rude to someone without provocation, treating wait staff or anyone in the service industry badly. People who can't stay off their phone, and those who only speak using slang.

 

[Lance V]

I give everyone a chance unless they give me a reason not to. I've dated discreet smokers who were actually considerate of others with their smoke and butt disposal. Didn't last, but it wasn't because of her habit.

Courtesy is paramount with me. There should be some level of basic humanity without a whiff of entitlement.

Like I said, I'm pretty much deferential with most folks, but take advantage of it or treat it lightly, and we probably won't make it too far.

 

[AVx22]

Imagine thinking you can't date someone of another race without being racist

Imagine thinking that made sense.

 

[njersey]

Might just be a gay thing, but guys who entire social groups are people they’ve hooked up with/are enmeshed in the local (as opposed to national or global) community.

Like cool, we’re on a date, stories about sex you’ve had with other people doesn’t communicate your attraction to me.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Might just be a gay thing, but guys who entire social groups are people they’ve hooked up with/are enmeshed in the local (as opposed to national or global) community.

Like cool, we’re on a date, stories about sex you’ve had with other people doesn’t communicate your attraction to me.

Oh, it’s not limited to gay men.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Eh... Depends solely on the person. I smoke a lot, every morning. On my lunch breaks. After work. Before bed. Pretty much all day. Just not around people who don't want to be around it. Basically I only smoke at home. But it is an all day, every day event.

I know more people who sleep on the couch all day because they drink than those who smoke weed. Actually, almost every weed smoker I know has a full time job. And the ones who don't are retired after working long enough to do so.

You live a life. You work, tend your gorgeous plants, etc.