Why Data Lounge Is So Full Of Toxic Gay Men?

[Marco Tony]

For those of you who been on the Data Lounge forum, you should know by now that this forum is full of mean gays. Its all about pearl clutching and insulting everybody. They insults straight people and gay men. I never saw that type of pearl clutching on straight forums. Even on reddit. When i visit Data Lounge, it reminds me why i never go comment there. These gay men always have something bad to say. They are so bitchy and negative. They makes gay men look bad. Madonna and Jennifer Lopez are amongst their main targets. Even Janet Jackson, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift ect... Which doesnt make sense. Since they are all allies. But these gay men still hates them. They should be nice and support each other instead of going rogue.

If i'm taking a guess, i would say that these gay men are unhappy. Thats why they spit all that negativity all the time. I think that most gay men on Data Lounge are 50 or older. I would even say 55 or older. Most of them are most likely older Generation X and possibly some boomers. With few millennials. And i'm pretty sure that theres no Generation Z gay men commenting there. Gay men are often all about drama. But these data loungers take it to another level. I'm sure that if there was a lesbian version of Data Lounge, it would be serene and heavenly. Why gay men are so much more rude and complicated? How do you explain the angry behavior many gay men have?

 

[Melankah1]

I have a VERY unpopular opinion. It WILL offend a lot of people, but here we go.....
I'm a Boomer by the skin of my teeth. I was born at the end of 64. I went into the military in 1985. I had slept with a bunch of guys before then, but went celibate for at least 2 years while I served. I was terrified of getting kicked out. When I returned home from being stationed in Europe everyone I had ever slept with was dead.
Just....dead.
So, what was left?
There was a strange evolution at work here. All the attractive, funny guys who loved life and who could get laid caught the disease and died. What were left were the emotionally damaged (ME!) the ugly, the bitter, the socially maladapted...
Of course there were exceptions. Long term couples, lucky guys, tops who never got fucked...but the trend is there.
What we see now is the result of that. My generation is filled with bitter old queens who had miserable lives and who continue to bitch and moan and bring others down.
I hope I'm not one of them.

 

[nevertoohard]

DataLounge is bad, but not as bad as compared to Twitter or Lipstick Alley.

 

[dana2]

For those of you who been on the Data Lounge forum, How do you explain the angry behavior many gay men have?

I have never visited the Data Lounge forum but have definitely noticed that some people on LPSG like to cause unnecessary drama. I think it's just a few bad actors who like to stir up shit. I don't think you can generalize that everyone over a certain age is bitter.

 

[bc655]

For those of you who been on the Data Lounge forum, you should know by now that this forum is full of mean gays. Its all about pearl clutching and insulting everybody. They insults straight people and gay men. I never saw that type of pearl clutching on straight forums. Even on reddit. When i visit Data Lounge, it reminds me why i never go comment there. These gay men always have something bad to say. They are so bitchy and negative. They makes gay men look bad. Madonna and Jennifer Lopez are amongst their main targets. Even Janet Jackson, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift ect... Which doesnt make sense. Since they are all allies. But these gay men still hates them. They should be nice and support each other instead of going rogue.

If i'm taking a guess, i would say that these gay men are unhappy. Thats why they spit all that negativity all the time. I think that most gay men on Data Lounge are 50 or older. I would even say 55 or older. Most of them are most likely older Generation X and possibly some boomers. With few millennials. And i'm pretty sure that theres no Generation Z gay men commenting there. Gay men are often all about drama. But these data loungers take it to another level. I'm sure that if there was a lesbian version of Data Lounge, it would be serene and heavenly. Why gay men are so much more rude and complicated? How do you explain the angry behavior many gay men have?

Do you currently have your settings on delicate flower or asbestos eyeballs? Seems like the latter to me.

 

[Nomebear]

I have a VERY unpopular opinion. It WILL offend a lot of people, but here we go.....
I'm a Boomer by the skin of my teeth. I was born at the end of 64. I went into the military in 1985. I had slept with a bunch of guys before then, but went celibate for at least 2 years while I served. I was terrified of getting kicked out. When I returned home from being stationed in Europe everyone I had ever slept with was dead.
Just....dead.
So, what was left?
There was a strange evolution at work here. All the attractive, funny guys who loved life and who could get laid caught the disease and died. What were left were the emotionally damaged (ME!) the ugly, the bitter, the socially maladapted...
Of course there were exceptions. Long term couples, lucky guys, tops who never got fucked...but the trend is there.
What we see now is the result of that. My generation is filled with bitter old queens who had miserable lives and who continue to bitch and moan and bring others down.
I hope I'm not one of them.

Sad, but no truer words have been spoken. I'm about 15 years ahead of you, and I got sober about the time you went in the military, and went celebrate for three years as was suggested.

I watched as people around me dropped from AIDS. Volunteering as hospice caregiver and support person was challenging. Had it not been for a strong AA recovery program, I might have ended up bitter, damaged, and exhibiting internalized self-hatred.

Today, I tend to treat everyone with kindness regardless of who they are. There's no telling where their paths have taken them through. As for family and straight friends, few really know me.

Total avoidance of negative people and energies is paramount, I'm way to empathic because of what I've been through to subject myself to that level of hatred. It's the gay folks in recovery who understand me. Most of us survivors, peacemakers, the truth seekers who are trying to make sense of our life experiences, and to just be happy.

 

[Melankah1]

Sad, but no truer words have been spoken. I'm about 15 years ahead of you, and I got sober about the time you went in the military, and went celebrate for three years as was suggested.

I watched as people around me dropped from AIDS. Volunteering as hospice caregiver and support person was challenging. Had it not been for a strong AA recovery program, I might have ended up bitter, damaged, and exhibiting internalized self-hatred.

Today, I tend to treat everyone with kindness regardless of who they are. There's no telling where their paths have taken them through. As for family and straight friends, few really know me.

Total avoidance of negative people and energies is paramount, I'm way to empathic because of what I've been through to subject myself to that level of hatred. It's the gay folks in recovery who understand me. Most of us survivors, peacemakers, the truth seekers who are trying to make sense of our life experiences, and to just be happy.

We survived. The kids don't really know what that world was like and that means we won! I'm with you on the kindness thing. The world is a cold, hard place. It doesn't care when we hurt or what we feel. We only have each other and if we don't take care of each other then no one will.
Of course, I still like straight bodybuilder dildo porn. No one's perfect.

 

[chrisrobin]

I have a VERY unpopular opinion. It WILL offend a lot of people, but here we go.....
I'm a Boomer by the skin of my teeth. I was born at the end of 64. I went into the military in 1985. I had slept with a bunch of guys before then, but went celibate for at least 2 years while I served. I was terrified of getting kicked out. When I returned home from being stationed in Europe everyone I had ever slept with was dead.
Just....dead.
So, what was left?
There was a strange evolution at work here. All the attractive, funny guys who loved life and who could get laid caught the disease and died. What were left were the emotionally damaged (ME!) the ugly, the bitter, the socially maladapted...
Of course there were exceptions. Long term couples, lucky guys, tops who never got fucked...but the trend is there.
What we see now is the result of that. My generation is filled with bitter old queens who had miserable lives and who continue to bitch and moan and bring others down.
I hope I'm not one of them.

Hey mate, no, not one of those. Funny how nature and world events can be said to have shaped life. I, like you, took it like a man, gave it like a man as much as I could. Just as the plague hit I fell arse over tit for a guy, became monogamous for 12 years till he ditched. So here I am flying solo, thank goodness I dont miss those bars and clubs full of shallow size obsessed twits who think a good time is a cocktail with a cherry on a stick being mean to all and sundry!

 

[Melankah1]

Hey mate, no, not one of those. Funny how nature and world events can be said to have shaped life. I, like you, took it like a man, gave it like a man as much as I could. Just as the plague hit I fell arse over tit for a guy, became monogamous for 12 years till he ditched. So here I am flying solo, thank goodness I dont miss those bars and clubs full of shallow size obsessed twits who think a good time is a cocktail with a cherry on a stick being mean to all and sundry!

"

shallow size obsessed twits who think a good time is a cocktail with a cherry on a stick being mean to all and sundry!

OMG!! You just described my 20's!
It's funny how people changed. Looking back at that I can see how horribly insecure I was that I had to tear everyone else down with my bitchy nastiness. No wonder no one wanted more than one date! If I could go back in time I'd slap myself!
Still, I'm in a good place now, happy...and much kinder. Life at 59 has it's compensations.

 

[chrisrobin]

"

OMG!! You just described my 20's!
It's funny how people changed. Looking back at that I can see how horribly insecure I was that I had to tear everyone else down with my bitchy nastiness. No wonder no one wanted more than one date! If I could go back in time I'd slap myself!
Still, I'm in a good place now, happy...and much kinder. Life at 59 has it's compensations.

Fuck, I remember when I was 59!

 

[groupshowers]

Fuck, I remember when I was 59!

LOL - I’m old! What is Data Lounge?

 

[Melankah1]

LOL - I’m old! What is Data Lounge?

I wondered that myself.

 

[pluscachange]

I haven't visited the site in ages, but I'm sure it hasn't changed much. I'm not defending them, but keep in mind that most probably became the way they are as a matter of survival. They grew up in a world of straight people, most of whom persecuted them for being gay only to move into a world of gay people, most of whom devour their own. They learned to keep their claws sharp at all times because they never found a place where they weren't under attack. It doesn't excuse their shitty behavior, but it does explain it.

 

[Melankah1]

I haven't visited the site in ages, but I'm sure it hasn't changed much. I'm not defending them, but keep in mind that most probably became the way they are as a matter of survival. They grew up in a world of straight people, most of whom persecuted them for being gay only to move into a world of gay people, most of whom devour their own. They learned to keep their claws sharp at all times because they never found a place where they weren't under attack. It doesn't excuse their shitty behavior, but it does explain it.

That's fair. I wonder how much worse I'd have been back then if I'd been fired for being gay or kicked out of my home for being gay. As it was it was bad enough!

 

[Boaxy]

That's the internet in a whole. Same bat channel, same bat time. Gays can be toxic in any capacity, and cruel and mean to others for no reason.

I saw a season of Big Brother to where there was a Gay Black/Brown guy (Shahbaz) gave immunity to a White gay guy (Richard) and instead of that guy returning the favor, and being thankful, Richard decided to rally the house against Shahbaz to where his mental health went downhill and he quit once he found the only other gay/LGBTQ person in the house was against him and joining the bullying collective etc.

So yeah. It has nothing to do with the site itself. I barely know of Data Lounge, but I've been on so many websites (including Lipstickalley y'all know me on there as well) and Reddit and shit so yeah. It's all the same. There is no difference.

 

[Nomebear]

That's the internet in a whole. Same bat channel, same bat time. Gays can be toxic in any capacity, and cruel and mean to others for no reason.

I saw a season of Big Brother to where there was a Gay Black/Brown guy (Shahbaz) gave immunity to a White gay guy (Richard) and instead of that guy returning the favor, and being thankful, Richard decided to rally the house against Shahbaz to where his mental health went downhill and he quit once he found the only other gay/LGBTQ person in the house was against him and joining the bullying collective etc.

So yeah. It has nothing to do with the site itself. I barely know of Data Lounge, but I've been on so many websites (including Lipstickalley y'all know me on there as well) and Reddit and shit so yeah. It's all the same. There is no difference.

Back in the 80s, during the AIDS pandemic, our gay patients would attack the caregivers, threaten to sue them, a dynamic I found to be shocking and sickening. I don't understand it, but mean, catty queens have been around since the beginning of time. The Internet offers the anonymous veil, which makes the character defect an even more fertile ground for such vehemence.

 

[Melankah1]

Back in the 80s, during the AIDS pandemic, our gay patients would attack the caregivers, threaten to sue them, a dynamic I found to be shocking and sickening. I don't understand it, but mean, catty queens have been around since the beginning of time. The Internet offers the anonymous veil, which makes the character defect an even more fertile ground for such vehemence.

How much of that was AID's induced dementia, fear, desperation? How much was also due to the way AIDs patients were treated? I remember stories about them being treated malevolently, as willful lepers who "got what they deserved." Some health care professionals refused to even be in the same room as them.
Thank God for the people who DID take care of them, especially the nuns and the lesbians, but all the volunteers who stood up deserve a place in heaven.

 

[Nomebear]

How much of that was AID's induced dementia, fear, desperation? How much was also due to the way AIDs patients were treated? I remember stories about them being treated malevolently, as willful lepers who "got what they deserved." Some health care professionals refused to even be in the same room as them.
Thank God for the people who DID take care of them, especially the nuns and the lesbians, but all the volunteers who stood up deserve a place in heaven.

You have an excellent point. Maybe it was AIDS dementia, or a stage in the death and dying process. Volunteers were so stretched in all directions, adding the meaness of gays toward each other was ugly, and served no purpose but add to the stress. Some of them mellowed before they made their transitions, and some left swearing and being vicious.

 

[Boaxy]

Let me also add, that Datalounge setup/format/design is really annoying to read. I'm sorry. Maybe this is a me thing (it more than likely is lol) but yeah.

 

[bigboaster]

Let me also add, that Datalounge setup/format/design is really annoying to read. I'm sorry. Maybe this is a me thing (it more than likely is lol) but yeah.

No the website layout is genuine garbage and should have been improved or updated years ago.