Would You Want To Know?

[Ryan2017]

Would you want to know if your boyfriend/husband was sexting a bloke and sending nude pictures to the bloke and asking to meet up for sex, ect?

I was talking to a married man who I thought was totally straight, but turns out he's secretly into guys as well and he was sexting with me and sent me a dick pic and said he wanted to meet up for sex and was very graphic in detailing what he wanted me to do to him and what he wanted to do to me.

I actually know him and I know his wife, not well, but I know them and I don't want to be the one to break up their relationship and I wouldn't want to cause problems for him, her or the children but does she deserve to know the truth about her partner?

Surely if he's been messaging me, then he's been messaging other guys and maybe women as well and possibly meeting other men and women behind her back.

I honestly feel like I shouldn't get involved and try and forget all about it, but would you want to know if you was the wife/girlfriend? Or would it be better if you never found out?

 

[918177]

I prefer an ugly truth to a beautiful lie.

I'd want to know if I was the wife.

In this moment you have a choice to make - be complicit in his cheating, walk away or level with her.

It's a judgement call that only you can make.

 

[rtg]

Uh yes I would want to know if we were in a monogamous relationship.

 

[Ryan2017]

I prefer an ugly truth to a beautiful lie.

I'd want to know if I was the wife.

In this moment you have a choice to make - be complicit in his cheating, walk away or level with her.

It's a judgement call that only you can make.

I do agree that she does have the right to know because he's clearly capable of cheating on her and that's not fair on her.

However, I don't have concrete evidence of the messages that were sent to and from me and him, only his nude picture.

That said, I don't feel like it's my place to get involved with their marriage even though he's in the wrong and cheating on her.

He's blocked me and hasn't messaged since, so it's clear he isn't interested in shacking up with me anymore but he's probably doing it with other guys behind her back.

 

[LaFemme]

Definitely would want to know. I’d rather be broken-hearted and know the truth than think I’m happy and be living a lie.

This man is exposing his wife to all kinds of potential diseases as well. She doesn’t know that. Unless he has her permission to play with other men, and he is taking every precaution to use safe sex? She needs to know the truth. I’d want to know.

 

[Ryan2017]

Definitely would want to know. I’d rather be broken-hearted and know the truth than think I’m happy and be living a lie.

This man is exposing his wife to all kinds of potential diseases as well. She doesn’t know that. Unless he has her permission to play with other men, and he is taking every precaution to use safe sex? She needs to know the truth. I’d want to know.

This is what I have considered? Maybe she knows about him sleeping with other people and is OK with it?

 

[Ryan2017]

In all honesty staying out of it and walk away from it. You don’t want to be marked for what happened to there marriage. But still be friends but keep it cordial as possible and distance with no disrespect to either one.

This is what I think would be best. Yes, she should know the truth but I'd prefer her to find out from someone else because I don't want to be the catalyst for the breakup of a family and a marriage. I feel bad for her because it's bang out of order what he's doing, but should I take it upon myself to break the news to her - I don't know about that.

 

[693987]

I would want to know, so I could divorce his ass in a hot second, and then go get screened for every STD/STI under the sun. My partner and I are leisurely ring shopping and by my insistence as a good faith gesture (his income is much higher than mine) are going get a prenup. It for damn sure is going to have an infidelity clause, though.

I don't expect to ever need to make use of the prenup, but if I do, and it's because of infidelity? Fuck them. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on, and fuck the person they were cheating on me with IF the person knew they were fucking someone in a supposedly monogamous relationship. Burn it all and salt the earth. I have no forgiveness in my heart or soul for infidelity. Discussing and agreeing to terms for "non-traditional" relationships and abiding by those terms is one thing. A thing I'm fine with, in fact. Cheating in any form? Get rekt.

 

[Betty_Cocker]

I have a question... or 3.

You say you don't want to be the one to break up their marriage/family. (Honorable)

Then you ask if we women would want to know.
How do you propose to inform the wife, without understanding that more than likely you will be the one that brought the disturbing news?

Also, on the flip side...you would not be the one breaking the marriage up. Her husband is fully responsible for hiding his habit from her. (OR, maybe she knows?)

I don't have enough information about the situation to do more than speculate. But, if I were you and felt like she should know, I would ask him first if she approved. If she doesn't know, I would tell him that you want nothing to do with him and why. And go from there as you feel led.

Would I want to know? I would.
I would prefer to hear the news from my husband. Not an anonymous "pictures in the mail" or someone I barely knew. But that's just me.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I would want to know immediately.

He and I know that if there's a need that isn't being fulfilled that communication needs to be had and something needs to be done to keep both of us satisfied in all possible circumstances.

Monogamy is working for us now. If there comes a time it isn't working anymore we're mature and responsible enough to talk to the other about it.

If I found out he was lying to me about all of that.. let's just say you'd probably read about it in the fucking news.

 

[Ryan2017]

I have a question... or 3.

You say you don't want to be the one to break up their marriage/family. (Honorable)

Then you ask if we women would want to know.
How do you propose to inform the wife, without understanding that more than likely you will be the one that brought the disturbing news?

Also, on the flip side...you would not be the one breaking the marriage up. Her husband is fully responsible for hiding his habit from her. (OR, maybe she knows?)

I don't have enough information about the situation to do more than speculate. But, if I were you and felt like she should know, I would ask him first if she approved. If she doesn't know, I would tell him that you want nothing to do with him and why. And go from there as you feel led.

Would I want to know? I would.
I would prefer to hear the news from my husband. Not an anonymous "pictures in the mail" or someone I barely knew. But that's just me.

I don't want anything to do with him. This happened a couple months ago, but has been playing on my mind.

I think I should just keep out of it, even though she does deserve to know, I'd rather she found out from someone else he's been messaging or even sleeping with or if she were to catch him out.

That said, you could be right - she might already know and might be turning a blind eye to it or might be totally cool with it.

 

[MickeyLee]

Want to know is not an issue. Need to know... she needs to know. Her family, her health, and her future are all on the line.

Do you possess the testicular fortitude to do the right thing. By choosing to txt-canoodle with a married man, part of a couple you were aware of going in, you have given up your right to walk away without a care in the world.

Boot strap up. Contact the wife. If you wanna be messy, send his nudes. If you want to be bare minimum human, tell her you need to talk to her. She's gonna be pissed. She's gonna be mad at you. Suck it up. You owe her.

What happens to ya dick sharing married man? Pft. Who gives a fuck, he made his choices. Now he has to deal with them

 

[Ryan2017]

Want to know is not an issue. Need to know... she needs to know. Her family, her health, and her future are all on the line.

Do you possess the testicular fortitude to do the right thing. By choosing to txt-canoodle with a married man, part of a couple you were aware of going in, you have given up your right to walk away without a care in the world.

Boot strap up. Contact the wife. If you wanna be messy, send his nudes. If you want to be bare minimum human, tell her you need to talk to her. She's gonna be pissed. She's gonna be mad at you. Suck it up. You owe her.

What happens to ya dick sharing married man? Pft. Who gives a fuck, he made his choices. Now he has to deal with them

I think that would be the more respectful way to break it to her, but what if she doesn't believe me. I literally only have the picture of his dick. No messages or anything. When he blocked me, the messages got deleted.

 

[EllieP]

I lived that life before and never want to again. One of the more horrible aspects was that people who I thought were friends knew about my ex's cheating, but they thought I was aware of it, too! Like seriously? They thought I would be OK with that?

Oh, hell no, tell me please. I've told my husband to please tell me if he plans to have an affair so that I can gather my things and be gone.

 

[Ryan2017]

I lived that life before and never want to again. One of the more horrible aspects was that people who I thought were friends knew about my ex's cheating, but they thought I was aware of it, too! Like seriously? They thought I would be OK with that?

Oh, hell no, tell me please. I've told my husband to please tell me if he plans to have an affair so that I can gather my things and be gone.

I'm nothing more than a neighbour, but I see what you're saying. It does seem like I haven't got much of a choice but to tell her.

 

[MickeyLee]

I think that would be the more respectful way to break it to her, but what if she doesn't believe me. I literally only have the picture of his dick. No messages or anything. When he blocked me, the messages got deleted.

Okay, I am not a dude. Heaps of dude culture is a mystery. But, generally, most women don't casually send coochie pics to friends.

By merit of having pics of her man's junk you have proof. If she turns a blind eye because she doesn't want to believe you? You did right and from there it's up to her.

Dude, this is your neighbor? Ya don't dick pic where you eat!

Grindr is like a weenier wonderland. You might not find straight peen but you can filter out peen that's gonna cause issues with the HOA

 

[693987]

Pft. You would "rather" not tell the wife, but have someone else do it. Whether she does or does not know already, you chose to get involved in her life, in her business by sending dirty texts/pics back and forth. I've been the accidental other person. I sucked it up and told the woman her partner was cheating on her and apologized. Her response was typical, in that she blamed me.

If my partner cheated on me and the person they fucked around with didn't know about me? They're completely immune to my ire. It would all fall upon my partner who made the choice to cheat. Are you an ethical, strong person, willing to accept and own your potential fuck ups?

TL;DR I am judgemental as fuck about infidelity and have really strong feelings about ethics in regards to the topic. Knowingly fucking around with someone when at least to outside appearance they are supposed to be monogamous? You're just as bad as the cheater, by enabling and participating. Now if they're just very quiet about having some kind of an open relationship, that's a separate thing entirely. It shouldn't cause any problems telling the spouse, if so. So you're either being ethical and accepting of potential consequences that you earned, or it is no big deal because she already knows.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

My silly self just reported one of the OP's posts in this thread out of silly confusion.

Sorry mods!!! Sorry OP!!

Much luv

 

[Ryan2017]

Okay, I am not a dude. Heaps of dude culture is a mystery. But, generally, most women don't casually send coochie pics to friends.

By merit of having pics if her man's junk you have proof. If she turns a blind eye because she doesn't want to believe you? You did right and from there it's up to her.

It's only one picture, but surely she'd recognise her own man's dick? That said, he could easily worm his way out of it by saying one of his exes must've sent it to me or something like that.

 

[MickeyLee]

It's only one picture, but surely she'd recognise her own man's dick? That said, he could easily worm his way out of it by saying one of his exes must've sent it to me or something like that.

Most image files have some type of time stamping info in the file. You can narrow origin time to "no ex had access to this dick at this time"

I know my dudes peen. And you can bet monies I would break out my full Shercock Holmes defectiveness to prove peen owner ship.