Being Ghosted and dealing with heartbreak

[Troycc]

So I’ll start off and say this is a true story with a ton of twists and turns so forgive me if the explanation of things doesn’t come across right but here we go..

Chapter 1: The backstory
PT. 1
We rewind 5 years ago and I’m a 25 year old average guy who is bisexual but not out. I’m fit, carmel skinned and have been told I’m attractive (although I don’t find myself as an attractive person). I am average height, not too short at about 5’8” and have wide muscular shoulders but a slender body.
This was the summer of 2018 and Me, my best friend and our mutual friends would travel out of state and camp at a drift event for either memorial or Labor Day weekend where we’d drink and party too much at night and drift our cars during the day.
This place, located in the NW seemed magical. It was lush and green with a river running behind the track and the vibes with everyone were always great.
My set of friends would always set up a campfire and make s’mores and play music at night. This would be where new friends and old friends would come together and hangout.
I was having a great night being slightly buzzed and dancing around the fire as I try to get my friends to match my energy. This is when I saw one of the most beautiful guys I’d ever seen. For sake of privacy I’ll name him Sam.
He came over to our group alone and asked if he could hangout. Of course I said yes, and my best friend being the social butterfly he is offered him food and something to drink. At this point I hadn’t told anyone that I was into guys and I’m trying to hide my emotions as I look next to me and see Sams amazing hazel-golden eyes reflecting off of the fire.
Sam is roughly the same height as me, maybe half an inch taller with lightly tanned white skin from the sun and a slim, slender body and toned biceps - not big but toned. His eyebrows were very sharp and led to his gorgeous eyes. He has dark blonde hair, mostly worn in a short mullet but this day his hair was trimmed on the sides and laid loosely on the top. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I wouldn’t do to pull those pants off. Everytime he’d lean back I got a glimpse of his happy trial, which was strange in that color was dark brown. Sorry y’all - I’m rambling

We were having a great time and later that night he asked if me and a couple friends wanted to “walk the track” which is more or less walking the go cart track-turned into a drift track for the event. People would go out there and either shotgun beer, hookup or drink out of a plastic flamingos ass (guilty*)
My best friend who I’ll call Austin eventually broke away from me as he loves to talk to anyone and everyone while sam and I continued to talk and eventually laid down and star gazed. The connection was automatic - we’d talked about so many different topics but they were never pressed, everything came naturally. When he talked to me he looked right at me, and I wanted to melt inside while looking at him and trying to calm my emotions.
After a couple hours and realizing my phone was dying we decided to head back to the campsite and he took off and headed to bed in his camp.
At this point I am on cloud nine as I feel like I’ve finally found someone who is a great friend and who I could potentially have something great with

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 1: The backstory
PT. 2
Wow that was a long explanation - sorry guys I’ve never done this before, promise I will shorten it up!
Anyways It is now the next day and Sam came over in the morning to say hi which had me in a great mood. I was watching my friends all out on the track drifting and my best friend Austin and my other friends were pushing me to take my newly (to me) bought and modified car out on track for some seat time. I was nervous about what would happen if I did bad or couldn’t hold angle or just sucked in general. Sam and my other friends finally motivated me to get out on track and I did pretty decent for my first real time drifting.
Sam gave me a high five and all my friends were gassing me up - I was having a great day, especially since at this point me and Sam had started building a budding friendship

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 2: I think I like you

At this point a year had passed and we were great friends. Our work schedules could never quite match up but when they did we would hangout. Most notably we met at this waterfront park (although a little late because his diff blew and my Skyline didn’t feel like idling)
We finally got there and I was greeted with a hug and he mentioned how good I smelled (I took out the Paco Rabanne for him).
Us being car guys, we talked about cars most of the time but we did talk about personal stuff too and Sam was different than anyone I’ve met at this point. He was a free spirited open person who didn’t seem to be fazed by much at all - He listened and always would build me up whenever I wasn’t confident about something.
I was always physically attracted to him but now this was getting emotional as well. The way he hugged me was different, it was longer than a normal hug someone would give a friend and the way he looked at me seemed filled with borderline lust and passion. I’m not sure I was doing a great job of hiding my emotions at this point because I was ready to tell him how I felt then and there but the fear of being rejected or hit or ghosted kept replaying in my mind so I just left that on ice and we later went to share ice cream and talked for a couple more hours

Next parts I’ll post tomorrow!

 

[mbny]

Wait... have we been ghosted?

 

[Troycc]

Wait... have we been ghosted?

Sorry! I had major last minute nasal reconstruction surgery, new post coming soon!

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 3: Here goes nothing:

After me and Sam spent all day talking and getting ice cream I left on a high - something I’d never felt before. It’s this freeing feeling of being seen and heard by someone who truly fascinates you and someone who you could spend all day with but seems like time is standing still. I know that sounds hard to explain but that’s how I felt in that moment. I was on cloud 9

We met up a couple weeks later at an arcade to kick it and again spent hours and hours talking. I knew his birthday had just passed so I got him a shirt with his car on it, something I knew he’d love. His face lit up and he hugged me close for what seemed like a while but also not long enough. Everytime he looks at me with his golden hazel eyes I melt.

Fast forward a couple months to Labor Day weekend 2020 and we’re back at the drift track with my best friend Austin and all of our friends and also Sam. The place where we first met. We spent the weekend drifting our cars and talking all day and having a blast. As we begin to pack up and get ready to start the journey home he tells me that his job has relocated him to the desert southwest. A couple hours out of LA but I completely love SoCal and used to live there so we plan to meet in October and I was happier than I’ve ever been to possibly give this a shot at opening up and telling him how I really feel.

*Before the next chapter I’ll mention that a couple weeks after that Drift event in September I had told my best friend Austin and my other friend Kat (his current wife, I introduced them) that I had a traumatic situation happen to me as a kid and was molested by a family member at a young age, which is why I sometimes struggle with sexuality. It was then when I told both of them that I was bisexual. Luckily I have amazing friends and Kat was excited about it and my best friend said it just made us closer and that he has been curious in the past as well but never done anything. The conversation moved onto what/who I’m into and Kat says “damnit I knew it was Sam! You guys were gone all night and I see the way you look at each other, he’s hot you better go get some”

At this point my confidence is at an all time high. So here we go, I’m taking this courage with me to Cali. Here’s goes nothing..

 

[GregorAeris]

Please continue.

 

[Troycc]

Next post coming tonight!

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 4: California
Part 1

This is the weekend of Halloween 2020. I’m finally heading to So Cal, somewhere I love and it truly is my “home”. I kept telling myself on the plane if I was gonna open up anywhere, this would be it. This is my shot at something great.. I finally found someone who likes me for me and I could finally be together with him.

I’m in LA for a day now, haven’t heard anything but I know he works during the week so I couldn’t wait until he hit me up. That Friday night I get a text from Sam asking if I was free and had time to hangout this weekend. Y’all already knew what my answer was

A few hours later he finally arrives and texts me that he’s outside. I’m trying to go out the front door of the Airbnb (it was in an apartment building) but the lock was stuck so I slammed chin first into it Anyways I walked around and waited for him to park and when he got out here gave me a big hug and said I smelled good. I had that weird butterfly feeling in my stomach, it would happen everytime I see him but with him looking at me in that way - like he wanted more than a hug was sending me over the edge ‍

We went out to eat later that night - well I should say tried to but because of Covid and everything that didn’t work out so we just ended up getting burgers.
Back at the Airbnb we put on a movie but we barely watched it, we stayed up for hours talking again but with him it seems like the time slows down and we were focused on each other the whole time. I should’ve got an Airbnb with one bed so we could sleep together, he said he wouldn’t mind if there was only one bed. Here it was, my crush and first love sleeping next to me literally inches away from me. I slept great that night

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 4: California
Part 2

It’s now the morning of Halloween 2020, he wakes up before me and I soon get up afterwards. I open up my luggage and pull out this Aviation shirt I got him (he loved it) then smiled and sat back down. Sam is a very open minded person and was the most chill person I’ve ever met other than my best friend Austin so I should’ve taken that opportunity to ask if he wanted to shower together due to the warm water only lasting for like a minute (ok guys, don’t get an Airbnb in Van nuys right next to the 101 if it’s at a discounted rate that seems too good to be true, the place was also infested with roaches). I didn’t because I knew I would’ve got hard but I finished my shower as quick as I could.

I pull out a wash cloth and say “sorry there’s no more towels you might have to dry off with this washcloth” and hold it near his waist. He laughs and says ok I’ll try! He’s so kind of a person I couldn’t do that to him, I opened up the hidden closet and pulled out a towel and he laughs and whips me with a towel, I was into it not gonna lie.
He pulls his shirt off and I see his amazing body, slim but toned and his happy tail leads right to where I need to be. I could see his soft cock moving around in his boxers while he walks to the bathroom and it was so hot, I could’ve been naughty with myself just from that

It’s just before sunrise and we headed to Griffith observatory to catch the views and the view was incredible. We then head down to the OC for breakfast then I took him to my spot in Laguna at the bluffs, it’s a breathtaking spot that overlooks Laguna beach, the valley and the ocean. It’s super romantic and peaceful. This was gonna be the spot where I was going to tell him — except I didn’t because there were so many people around.

We head down to a smaller beach in Laguna, but there were too many people there as well. The marine layer hasn’t quite burned off yet so it was a little chilly but he wanted to see how warm the water was, and if it was warm enough I told him I’d get in there with him. He goes down to the water and puts his hand in and goes “well it feels better than the shower but not quite there yet” so we walked back up and left.

I’m freaking out inside, I wanted to blurt it out but kept missing opportunities. I was so sure that he wanted this too, we’d hug countless times and always seem to get lost in each others eyes. I thought this was my soul mate.

We had an hour drive back to LA so I decide to tell him my feelings. Whilst shaking I told him that I liked him and was attracted to him as he was the most beautiful, amazing person I’ve ever met. He smiled and goes “Ahh I knew you did!” I said you do!? He goes “yeah, I could tell by the way you looked at me and by all the gifts I got for my birthday, I knew something was up ” then he starts laughing and smiled.
I said, well do you feel the same way? And he said that because of his job he couldn’t be in a relationship right now but that he’s flattered.
I’m in shock and wasn’t even considering the thought of if he wasn’t into me. This is the part where my toxic trait came out - I apologized profusely and he said it’s all good, his best friend is bi so it’s not a problem and that I’m an amazing person and we have a lot of fun together.
I was crushed on the inside but pumped I still had my friend. That part mattered the most to me. He acted as though nothing changed between us and so did I. I just said forget I said that and we continued on to Malibu. We spent the night there watching the sunset then stopped by the Fast & Furious house and Torrettos (my car people will get it).

We get back to the Airbnb and says he has to head home as he lives about two hours away in the desert. I’m shaking so much I can barely open the door, he looks at me and says “Just relax, we’re good” then gives me a hug. Feeling ashamed I’m trying to hide my emotions. He packs up his stuff and thanks me for the great weekend then headed off.
I lay on my bed replaying everything that I did, wondering if I said too much or not enough and wishing I never said anything at all. We texted back and forth that night and a few days after. I returned home from Cali feeling defeated but lucky that I still had my friend - or so I thought..

 

[Troycc]

Chapter 5: Where do I go from here

It’s now Memorial Day weekend 2021 and I’m heading back down to the same drift event where it all started. It has been radio silence from Sam and my best friend Austin and Kat tell me that they’re camped right next to him. Great..

I’m nervous as hell, I don’t know what to expect when I get there, if he’s gonna talk to me or what’s going on. I haven’t got a response since I last saw him. I don’t know what I did to make him ghost me but I didn’t mean to make him feel uncomfortable and I miss us being friends and I told him that the days after I left Cali. I finally arrive and am getting my car off of the trailer and boom there he is, walking back to his camp and I wave and say “Sam! What’s up!?” He looks me dead in the eye and walks away. If I was feeling anxious before it’s really bad now.
I was hating myself for doing anything for jeopardizing my relationship with him by telling him my feelings but I guess that’s the risk I took :/
I knew he must’ve had an issue with me because before I arrived he talked to Austin and Kat and they said he acted like everything was fine. I said ok, maybe it was just a weird thing and he didn’t hear me right. So he drove past me and I waved again - same thing, looked at me and looked away.

I wish I could at least get an answer to what I did but he wants nothing to do with me I would give anything to at least be friends with him again but it’s 2023 now so I’m not hopeful anymore. He broke my heart, he was someone I put my all into and I feel crushed, still do - but I have to find a way to move on. I blame myself for opening up so much to him as I’m usually very reserved. I thank my best friends Austin and Kat for trying to lift me up and fix my broken heart but it just sucks.
Kat says that ghosted feeling (on the receiving end) makes it feel like that person is dead, except they’re not dead, they’re very much alive, you’re just dead to them. And that’s the feeling I’ve felt.

So here I am. 3 years later, trying to fix my broken confidence and lose the weight I gained, telling myself that it’ll get better. I’ve had heartbreak on the dancefloor, it’s just love by bassixx, you by Troye sivan, dancing on my own and Dancing in the kitchen by LANY on repeat for years

Sam still follows me on IG and likes some of my posts so idk what’s up with that but heartbreak is not fun. My mental health has been in the gutter. I’m getting better by focusing on me and not opening myself up like that again. I hope I can find someone someday that makes me feel those same feelings. It just blows my mind that I was so wrong about someone who I was sure was into me too.
If you guys have ever seen the movie fire island I’m definitely Howie, a hopeless romantic and I hope one day I’ll get my happy ending. Until then I’m just focusing on me :,)

Thanks guys for reading these long stories. Everything I wrote was real except for the names. If you’ve had a similar experience I’d love to hear from you

-END

 

[Sammyt767]

Sorry to hear that, loving someone that doesn't give one damn about you sucks. Keep moving forward with yourself, you had the courage to tell someone how you feel about them.

Also did you think about this person everyday through the years?

 

[Troycc]

Sorry to hear that, loving someone that doesn't give one damn about you sucks. Keep moving forward with yourself, you had the courage to tell someone how you feel about them.

Also did you think about this person everyday through the years?

Thank you! It still stings but there’s nothing I can do but move on.
And yeah I did, I would wonder what/how he’s doing, if he’s ok and if he’s happy

 

[Yougutas]

Damn I’m sorry about all that. I had something similar happen to me. First time ever being ghosted. And it’s confusing and hurts.
The thing is that it’s not your fault, it’s his issue. He clearly showed you who he is as a person. And although it sucks, he’s not worth your time and attention because you deserve much better. People who do that have many mental issues and will never be truly happy.

 

[GregorAeris]

Sorry about all that. I was so interested in your story because I had something similar happened to me recently. It breaks your heart, it truly does. Eventually we have to work our way out. It's funny how your story and mine happened in the same time frame.
I got to have something with the guy in my story and that only worsen things because my feelings at the end were really screwed, i was in too deep. One day he was completely fine and the next day he disappeared from the world to me. We still follow each other in social media and he still likes some posts eventually and likes my stories, so I guess there's a pattern in that kind of people.

I wish someone could see me the way you seemed Sam, or the way I seemed "my Sam".

 

[Troycc]

Damn I’m sorry about all that. I had something similar happen to me. First time ever being ghosted. And it’s confusing and hurts.
The thing is that it’s not your fault, it’s his issue. He clearly showed you who he is as a person. And although it sucks, he’s not worth your time and attention because you deserve much better. People who do that have many mental issues and will never be truly happy.

Thank you that means a lot! Before I’ve never really looked at the other side and thought that it’s an issue with him but it has to be. And you’re right I’ll find better one day, hopefully with less ghosting

 

[Troycc]

Sorry about all that. I was so interested in your story because I had something similar happened to me recently. It breaks your heart, it truly does. Eventually we have to work our way out. It's funny how your story and mine happened in the same time frame.
I got to have something with the guy in my story and that only worsen things because my feelings at the end were really screwed, i was in too deep. One day he was completely fine and the next day he disappeared from the world to me. We still follow each other in social media and he still likes some posts eventually and likes my stories, so I guess there's a pattern in that kind of people.

I wish someone could see me the way you seemed Sam, or the way I seemed "my Sam".

I’m sorry you went through that too. How long were you guys together for?

 

[GregorAeris]

I’m sorry you went through that too. How long were you guys together for?

We were involved for 1 year, and emotionally for 6 months it was very, very intense. It all started because we were nice buddies. During pandemic we used to hang out together a lot since we are next door neighbors. But my story is far more complicated. It includes a son, a wife and a lot of broken promises and empty I love yous.

Hmu if u wanna hear it.

 

[GS_PL]

You seem to still be quite young, so a year is a blip. Being honest, I wasn't sure as much as your story was dragging on if this went from an actual situation of yours, or someone trying to publicly put a novella out there!

My best advice is hold strong and if the outrageously unlikely chance this turkey decides to get back into your life again, DON'T LET IT HAPPEN. People who ghost others suck as "human beings", period. Avoid the probability of a guranteed repeat hurt.

 

[GregorAeris]

You seem to still be quite young, so a year is a blip. Being honest, I wasn't sure as much as your story was dragging on if this went from an actual situation of yours, or someone trying to publicly put a novella out there!

My best advice is hold strong and if the outrageously unlikely chance this turkey decides to get back into your life again, DON'T LET IT HAPPEN. People who ghost others suck as "human beings", period. Avoid the probability of a guranteed repeat hurt.

If this goes for me, idk if I'm even capable of burning that bridge. It's easy for me to advise others, however thinking about the possibility of being together again is something hard to deal with, I guess I still have feelings involved or maybe I'm just needing to give it a proper closing. Idk