Merophe
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good luck honey, i'm also giving up with the apps (and in real life too
)
)I'm starting back up again! Had some time to just take a break from the stress, but felt kinda lonely every night...and i dont do hookups. Went back in the apps- ugh I still hate having to create a profile! I feel like a piece of meat that needs to be sold before it spoils . Im still holding out for an organic meet cute.
Anyway, have some good dates lined up, so we'll see how this all goes. I hate to say i, but it does seem like it's all about the pics. And the writing is a distant second unless it points out any deal breakers- attracting someone with your words doesnt seem to be a thing anymore.
. Im still holding out for an organic meet cute.Anyway, have some good dates lined up, so we'll see how this all goes. I hate to say i, but it does seem like it's all about the pics. And the writing is a distant second unless it points out any deal breakers- attracting someone with your words doesnt seem to be a thing anymore.
I just created a hinge profile. It's my first time properly using a dating app. I had Grindr before but i've remained anonymous and not reached out to anyone. I set my location on hinge to a different country so I could get a feel on whether people find me attractive or not without running into people I recognise. (Once I know where I stand i'm going to change back to my location). Just out of curiosity, what's a decent amount of likes on hinge in a day/week/month or whatever? I set my location to Spain and I got one like within the 1st 20 mins but that's it so far. Every profile that's coming up is a literal supermodel. Maybe it's just people who live in Spain but are hinge profiles usually models with abs, proper lighting and professional photos? lmfao. The people I see on Grindr are like polar opposites to these guys I'm seeing on hinge.
Ive been going on dates, and it's going okay...not too bad? But I just dont understand why ppl dont respond to msgs if they match on hinge, tinder, etc? Or if they do, they stop responding after a certain point in time, or they just give you one word responses.
I matched with someone, and we had awesome conversations. But when we arranged to meet up, no response. I hate this, and the single word responses. Don't string me along. With the lack of responses and quality conversations, do ppl know theyre being rude? For those ppl that have done it, why are you like this? Is this the dating reality, that ppl just suck?
I matched with someone, and we had awesome conversations. But when we arranged to meet up, no response. I hate this, and the single word responses. Don't string me along. With the lack of responses and quality conversations, do ppl know theyre being rude? For those ppl that have done it, why are you like this? Is this the dating reality, that ppl just suck?
ghosting- no matter where you are in a relationship, from just starting out to multiple dates, is psychopathic/sociopathic.
im just here to put my thoughts down. Still dating...10% just dont pan out and 90% with no attraction meeting IRL or popping red flags.
Here are some random thoughts in no particular order:
1. I'm still dating through apps. A IRL meeting seems like such a foreign and outdated idea. How did anyone 20 or even 30 years ago handle all this? The amount of ppl I encountered ho lie on their profiles....ugh. Top two lies are profile pics and height. Definitely a different landscape.
2. I'm an introvert, so when I see pics of guys surrounded by a group of friends, it freaks me out. I go through this spiral- what if he doesn't like me because I dont have any regular friends that I hang out with? What if we get along with his friends and then we breakup, and I bump into his friends- it's a small world? My face is turning red just thinking about it.
3. I'm still saving up to pay off my student loans and paying hundreds to fix my busted car. I see guys in their pics travelling or going on some cool experiences. If we like each other, how can I tell him that I can't afford to eat out or go out like that? I'm not into fashion because I can't afford fashion. My style is minimalist, stereotypically plain.
4. Sex, even kissing, I like to be completely comfortable with them first. If that means many, many dates before that happens, what if I'm considered a prude?
5. I also noticed that I prefer not feminine guys. Not necessarily masculine, but if it was on a spectrum, neutral to masculine.
All these doubts creep up. Now it's easy to say, "Well, you just have to find the right guy who likes you for who you are." All these potential deal breakers plus not feeling attractive enough (see first post), limits the number of potential suitors, let alone the ones that I find attractive or remotely appealing.
So what do you do if you're feeling alone and just want someone nice to cuddle with? Well you just expand your field. You rank the hold ups you have and see how much you can compromise with your standards. It sounds ugly, and it feels ugly. Then you're left with resentment towards everyone, especially yourself.
I wish there were arranged dating/marriages that would make everything so much easier. Maybe like a speed dating situation but you have to go on at least several dates, and the arrangement would be made based off all the quirks, red flags, and deal breakers that you have. I know there are movies out there like this, but it'd be nice if there were some omniscient algorithm that would pop out a match and arrange multiple dates to show that this person that I'm dating "is the One."
Here are some random thoughts in no particular order:
1. I'm still dating through apps. A IRL meeting seems like such a foreign and outdated idea. How did anyone 20 or even 30 years ago handle all this? The amount of ppl I encountered ho lie on their profiles....ugh. Top two lies are profile pics and height. Definitely a different landscape.
2. I'm an introvert, so when I see pics of guys surrounded by a group of friends, it freaks me out. I go through this spiral- what if he doesn't like me because I dont have any regular friends that I hang out with? What if we get along with his friends and then we breakup, and I bump into his friends- it's a small world? My face is turning red just thinking about it.
3. I'm still saving up to pay off my student loans and paying hundreds to fix my busted car. I see guys in their pics travelling or going on some cool experiences. If we like each other, how can I tell him that I can't afford to eat out or go out like that? I'm not into fashion because I can't afford fashion. My style is minimalist, stereotypically plain.
4. Sex, even kissing, I like to be completely comfortable with them first. If that means many, many dates before that happens, what if I'm considered a prude?
5. I also noticed that I prefer not feminine guys. Not necessarily masculine, but if it was on a spectrum, neutral to masculine.
All these doubts creep up. Now it's easy to say, "Well, you just have to find the right guy who likes you for who you are." All these potential deal breakers plus not feeling attractive enough (see first post), limits the number of potential suitors, let alone the ones that I find attractive or remotely appealing.
So what do you do if you're feeling alone and just want someone nice to cuddle with? Well you just expand your field. You rank the hold ups you have and see how much you can compromise with your standards. It sounds ugly, and it feels ugly. Then you're left with resentment towards everyone, especially yourself.
I wish there were arranged dating/marriages that would make everything so much easier. Maybe like a speed dating situation but you have to go on at least several dates, and the arrangement would be made based off all the quirks, red flags, and deal breakers that you have. I know there are movies out there like this, but it'd be nice if there were some omniscient algorithm that would pop out a match and arrange multiple dates to show that this person that I'm dating "is the One."
Merophe
Legendary Member
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2016
- Posts
- 376
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 1,013
- Points
- 213
- Location
- Phuket, Thailand
- Sexuality
- 90% Gay, 10% Straight
- Gender
- Male
it's been a long time since I left my comments on your thread, and things have been totally different for me. I went through many things in life, and sessions with therapists. I just turned 29 yesterday, still single (as always). But I'm at peace with myself now. I can be alone without feeling lonely.
Deleted those apps many months ago without any regrets. Still no active sex at all. However, I'm ok with that because now I'm busy working up to my ultimate goals. I just got lucky and was selected for a WHS visa to New Zealand, and I have to work hard to find a job there and hope I could find someone who would sponsor me a working visa in the future. Still a long way to go, but keeping yourself busy acquiring new skills to switch careers is one of the strategies that I think would work for you since it works for me.
Anyway, I hope you find what you've been looking for. All the best for you
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