Chapter 50
I wish I could say that I went to bed and had a chaste “Disney” like dream, but instead I turned on Grindr, and there was a guy two buildings over, looking to get plowed. I said, “I’ll be over in 10.” He said, “no dice, roomies. Your place?” I thought, fuck, I don’t want to try to explain anything with Mikey and the dishes and the bed that was already disheveled. “Roommates here too,” I replied. He thanked me and said, “another time. Hot dick.” I laughed, yeah, it’s a great fuckstick. “Thanks, great ass. Can’t wait to impale it.” He replied with a fire emoji and that was that. I didn’t want random sex, and I didn’t want an instant boyfriend either. In truth, I wanted to date, and to have the magic of the moment. I didn’t want the responsibility for someone’s whole world, but I wanted more than a ‘nice cock, don’t wipe it on the duvet as you finish,’ either. I thought about Jason all of a sudden. I didn’t want to end up like him, trapped in a loneliness that paralyzed him. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want the whoring of Alvaro and Barty, getting arrested for whatever insanity happened at the Four Seasons with the boys. I figured there was a story there somewhere. Whenever I got boxed in the corner, I thought of Eddie. It was always him. Dimples, ass. Dimples, ass. Lips. Smell. Smarts. Smile.
I turned off the app and went to bed. I decided that there was enough drama in my world. I would let shit go for a while. I turned on the laptop and continued to watch the reality dating show. It was easier to get lost in someone else’s problems than deal with your own sometimes. I fell asleep and the laptop slid over to the side of the bed. I got my second pillow, and just held it and shoved my half hard cock into it, as if I was getting some tail. I did have a wild sex dream about Sean and Mark. Cock and ass, cock and ass, fucking, wild sex, and that tight hole of Mark’s, Sean was so lucky. And having Sean’s cock, Mark was so lucky. I did need to reach out to them. Maybe a road trip was in order. Who knows, they could be fucking monogamous by now. They were already shacked up like lesbians. But it couldn’t have happened to nicer guys. And I am proud of the one good thing I did there, which was introduce them in the first fucking place. I never did figure out who the black adidas belonged to. Best blow job of the summer I think.
I wondered if I drove up and parked at the law firm building, and took the elevator to the basement, would I be able to sit in the bathroom and be the gloryhole slut I still wanted to be now, even after the summer had passed. It was about 6 hours away. I could do that though and skip class. Maybe stay with Gary and the fucking penguins. Or Nathan and the cock licking dog of his? I could hose that monster cock of his down with antibacterial soap and finally get it down my throat. Or George, he might exact a fuck out of me, but you know, it was good, it was always so good. The reality of the summer is that there was a lot of fun, but it was all temporary and fleeting. The kind of ‘go to the carnival’ fun that you leave behind as you drive home. It was time for me to move on. To find the next chapter in my life. I made the crucial decision to return to law school, so that was my goal. Finish and move on.
I got up Sunday morning and got a text from Mikey. Hey, did you find a sock of mine? I only had one when I got home. I looked around my bedroom floor and found it underneath my bed. I texted back, you might have to blow me to get it back. He responded, I don’t know if I can dislocate my jaw enough to get your fucking log inside my mouth. I laughed and sent a laugh emoji. He responded with a vomit emoji. I guess that would be a no. I threw the sock in the wash with my next load and decided I’d bring it to him next week. It really wasn’t a big deal for me. I made the right decision with him too. Even though he would have been fun to fuck. I think it would have wrecked him for a while, and I didn’t need the drama.
I got dressed and headed into campus. I went to the law school library and continued my research and outlining. I had a few more ideas of cross cutting jurisdictional issues to cover and then tried to research the case law around it. Taxes are hard I thought. It’s always a matter of each government exacting their cost onto the business. I was starting to become libertarian myself. I worked through several books and the hornbook I had checked out. I decided to focus on school while at school, and then I would make sure I had a plan for life when life began again. I was a law machine that Sunday, just reading and outlining and looking up references that others had cited. I consulted the CJS for the US and Statutory Instruments for the UK. I reviewed my notes on the JGAAP, and then the question of what are the most common corporate law challenges. I went over to the B school library and their librarians were happy to help find some additional reading for me. I checked out more books and carried them back to my law school library desk, a privilege of being a 2L, I could hold library books there.
The librarian came over and said hello. “John, it’s great to see you,” she said. “How was your summer?” I nodded and said, “It’s great to be back. Summer was great, I worked at a firm and worked on a couple of really interesting international cases.” She nodded and said, “great, that’s just wonderful. Are you finding what you need?” I nodded, “yes, so far. I am working on an international law project with Mr. Jacobs. I need to cover a broad expanse of international tax law.” She nodded, and said, “you know our school has a great interlibrary loan with other schools, we can get whatever you need.” I stepped back and said, “thank you ma’am. I’ll keep that in mind.” She smiled, “Certainly, and for those students that are on the payroll, as I understand you are, we can accommodate special requests, just let us know what we can do to help.” I nodded, “thanks, that’s great. I’m not sure where I am at.” She turned as she left, “none of us do, but when we need help, we know to ask for it.” I chuckled and said, “that’s good advice.” She left me to my reading.
I started a new document. I labeled it resources, and I wrote down everything I had found so far, and where I had found it. I made notes about the various libraries and librarians, and the interlibrary loan and what I knew the core resources would be. I then had a wild thought. I opened up my laptop. I emailed Jason. “Hello sir, there are two things that I would like to ask of you. Can you draft and sign a general letter of recommendation that I can use for future references without having to bother you at the time? And second, can you recommend a list of core legal resources for international tax law that I could use as a reference as I work on my research at school this year? I would appreciate any help you can give me.” I hit send and just put it out to the universe. It seemed appropriate and he had been hinting that he wanted to help. Hell, I’d even let him blow me if he wanted. But, I think he, like Mike, wanted a ring on finger, before the cock entered his fleshy ring. I kept it all in mind.
It was Jason that would later share that my images from Terrance were on the internet. I think he had in fact purchased them, and truth be told, I would have given Jason a private viewing for free. He did reply about a week later with a great list of resources and a letter of recommendation that made me blush and also made me feel like I had handled him well, with grace beyond my years as he would later say. By the time he let me know what had happened with those random images, I would be a different person even still, married, and a lawyer in DC, and even though the images would be a minor distraction, I would look at the senior partner at the firm and say, yes it’s a scandal, but look at the cock. That’s certainly worth a ride don’t you think? Even that matter would blow over after I let the Senior Partner fondle it up close and live in the flesh. I wasn’t a prude, and I didn’t care, because my heart wasn’t tied to my cock. It was tied to my heart. And with my husband. But, all of that would be decided much later.
I headed back home and did some reading for my real 2L classes on Sunday night. Mikey and I texted back and forth about the fucking sock. I told him I would get it back to him. But, he was really anxious and so I washed and dried it with some other whites and invited him over. He was cute in shorts and a polo, and he asked me about the sock. I said there was a ransom for the sock. He said, “what was the price?” I said, “one kiss, and perhaps a grope.” He said, “fine,” and he leaned over and kissed me, with even more vim and vigor than he had the night before.
I didn’t say anything, but I did pull down his zipper, and fondle him in his boxers again. He said, “I thought you were afraid to unleash the dragon?” I laughed and said, “perhaps, but a girl can’t help but try, can she?” He smiled and said, “you are incorrigible.” I smiled and kissed him gently. “That’s what you love about me,” I said. He chuckled. “Who says I love you,” he asked. “You were ready to leave without the sock. Me thinks it’s a ruse.” He shrugged, “maybe it’s more like a bookmark, so I can come back to that place in my reading and find comfort. You are comfortable John.” I laughed. “Like flannel pants,” I asked. He looked at me oddly and said, “yeah, like that.” He left, sock in tow, and that was mostly that. He would come over every now and again, and there was a wild night where we had a threeway, but it was a couple of years away at this point in the story.
Suffice to say, once the sock was released from custody, Mikey was effectively unhooked and thrown back into the sea for the next fisherman to catch. I would later email Ben and tell him about Mikey. He told me that I had come a long way since our days of popcorn and TV. I would say that maybe I have, but I still have fond memories of him. He would say, and I of you. I would lose touch with Ben as I moved into my legal career, but Mikey would stay in my circle of friends and colleagues for many years. I would eventually give him away at his wedding to another fine lawyer chap, because his parents were assholes, and had decided not to come to his wedding. And yet, he and I would keep the bond, over a sock, and on his wedding night, I would gift him a set of two pairs of nice white socks and two pairs of fancy sweatpants as well. A throwback to our earlier encounter. He would say later that our moment gave him the courage and comfort to meet the challenges of law school and being a lawyer head on.
So, Monday came and went. The classes were a blur, and the detritus of the afternoon was lost to the nerves of what might be brought on Wednesday. I spent Tuesday morning working in the library and I sent over my prospective outline to Mr. Jacobs at noon, with a note that said, here’s what I was able to get done in the time permitted. Hopefully it is good enough for the meeting. I sent it and moved on to my afternoon classes. I swung by Mr. Jacobs’s office that afternoon and spoke with him briefly. He said, “this is good work, I think we have a great start, and hopefully we can keep the regulator at bay.” I smiled and nodded. I didn’t think we had a prayer of that, because the regulator controlled the purse strings. But, I was getting paid, which allowed me to live alone and perhaps go to DC and see Eddie, or go see Sean and Mark, or I dunno, fly to London and find that fucking mountain of a man and climb Everest again, my dick leading the charge. Money gave me options, and I loved having lots of options. It kept the doors open to new experiences. And that’s what I craved, as much as I wanted to be loved, I also wanted to see new things and be alive. That was my love language.
On Wednesday, I wore one of the good suits, the same one I wore for the DC hearing, where I had in fact, bested Eddie. And the very cool tie, thanks to Terrance and his harem of fuckboys. I looked amazing. I had my meeting with Mr. Jacobs at 2 pm and I couldn’t wait. I had two classes in the morning, looking advanced beyond my years in classes with other contemporaries in tshirts, cut off jeans and sweatpants. I was better dressed than the professor in one class. At 1:45 pm, I showed up at Mr. Jacobs office and he was there in a suit and tie as well. The suit didn’t really fit anymore, and I suspected he bought it years ago, and the tie was a bit unkempt as well.
I asked him if he was ok, and he nodded yes, and then I offered to tie his tie. He stopped and acquiesced. I realized I would have to retie it. I took it off of him and I did the knot over me and then loosened it to place it on his neck. I flipped up his collar and then I stood behind him and worked the tie around him. He put his hands on mine as I finished tightening the ends and the knot and bringing his collar down. He said, “you are a good man, John Richmond. I haven’t had someone help me with my tie since I got married. My dad did that for me, what you just did. I have never been able to tie a tie.” He held his hands over mine and I felt him convulse. He was crying. I put my arms around him and hugged him. He cried for a bit and then composed himself.
He broke from my arms and walked over to his desk and got a tissue. He blew his nose and threw the tissue away. He then turned to me, “my father passed away four months after my wedding. It ended up being our last time together. I have to apologize, but you brought all of that back to me with the tying of my tie.” I nodded, and said nothing. I didn’t know where to go from there. He eventually spoke again, “My marriage ended because the work got in the way. I decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle of divorce and remarrying. My wife had cancer, and I missed most of her illness, the way I missed most of my marriage. It was my cross to bear, that I could not find the balance of work and life that so many of us seek. When I got the call to teach, I was able to put all of that disappointment away. At least for a while. I’m not sure why you have brought that out from me this afternoon, but since we are going to colleagues at work, I guess I can lower my guard with you a bit as well.”
I nodded and said, “thanks, I didn’t know any of that for sure. I want you to know that your communications with me this summer saved me too, because you gave me a reason to come back. I don’t know who I am anymore, and I feel like I have been through a roller coaster between the law firm and the travel this summer, but at the end of the day, you were the lighthouse, ensuring my ship got back to port. I don’t know what is next for me, but I know that I will want you there to help give me guidance regardless of what transpires.” He nodded, and I thought he was going to tear up again. He didn’t, but he grabbed a tissue just in case. We left his office, at three minutes before two o’clock, and headed to the executive conference room on the first floor of the law school offices, between the registrar and the Dean’s office. He opened the door and we walked in. It felt just like the hearings from the summer. So many suits. The Dean, the Assistant Dean, Mr. Jacobs, and myself. And a guy in a suit sitting at the table across from us. With glasses and a briefcase, and dimples, and a smile I would recognize from miles away.
It was Eddie, he was back in my life, and he was going to be here for the next two years, with me I hoped. We began the discussion with introductions. I blushed a bit as he introduced himself. I think he blushed a bit when I talked about myself too. I didn’t tell Mr. Jacobs about Eddie for a few months. It was all too weird. But the connection was there immediately, and for a while we kept our entanglement hidden. Over time, he and I would spend time together more publicly; we started dating, tentatively at first, and then after a few months, we moved in together. I stayed at school the following summer and we continued to work on the model law for international taxation matters, and I helped draft much of the text and the explanatory notes. Eddie and I would present at conferences, and even Mr. Jacobs would attend, begrudgingly with us, and as a representative of the regulatory branch. We briefed the regulators for all of the major government offices. The Japanese and UK folks even recognized me.
They all asked me about the strange wirey man I had been working with when I had seen them before. Barty and his odd gait, big hands, and even bigger cock. I didn’t want to get into the details. I merely nodded and said, “oh yes, him, he was working ‘of counsel’ with the firm, I didn’t know him very well in reality.” And to be honest, I didn’t really know him all that well. I never heard from him or Alvaro again, but Jason and I stay in touch, even now. He met a nice man through a friend of mine, the gay world of lawyers is so small, incestuous, and cliquish. The man he ended up settling down with was also an attorney, and ended up knowing Eddie’s boss, who Eddie didn’t even know was homosexual, as the old queens would call it.
Mr. Jacobs came around to Eddie, partially because he had to, and partially because I loved them both so much. Eddie met Mikey, and we eventually had that three way with him during his second year of law school and my third. Eddie got Mikey a summer job in DC, and Eddie and I went up and visited Sean and Mark at their wedding later that year. Eddie and I didn’t have a fling with Sean and Mark, and I don’t know if he ever realized that the three of us had experienced the light fantastic with each other. I think he suspected, because he isn’t an idiot, but I learned that part of the “reformed whore” code of ‘ethics’ is a certain discretion about one’s past. I didn’t ask Eddie about his, and he didn’t ask about mine. I will say my friends were far better than his. And perhaps that is because most of mine I had fucked at one time or another. It would be trite to say that we lived happily ever after with a pumpkin coach and mice horsemen, but there wasn’t a glass slipper and Eddie, as sweet as he is, wasn't prince charming, and neither was I. But, we were both committed to building a life together, and those two years at law school, building the model law for international tax, were just the building blocks we needed to decide to settle down together and make our lives into one life, and build that life into a sense of home.
The End.
