"but honey, i thought you liked doing that!"

[Oxnard]

Alright.

I've had two separate lesbian drinking buddies insist that the conservation in the title is a heterosexual phenomenon. When I admitted to having had the conversation, they wouldn't stop teasing me about it.

Have you had that conversation in a relationship about something that was happening in the bedroom? Were my lesbian friends right about this being a hetero thing? Or am I just a weirdo?

 

[Oxnard]

I should clarify. I'm talking about a situation where both parties thought that the other partner wanted to do something, but neither did.

 

[xX_Sarah_Xx]

No... If you ever had that conversation, then you just don't speak up when you like or don't like something.
And then there's no real body language reading either.

So no. Never had that and I don't think it will ever happen, personally.
Depends partly on personality as well? Depends on the people in that relationship
(I really don't think it has to do with straight/gay oriented reasons?)

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I've had guys in the past attempt things I'm not particularly interested in, and I just tell them I don't like that, and if they didn't drop it, I dropped them. My current relationship, there's nothing like that going on. He knows very well what I do and don't like to happen to my body during sex

To be perfectly honest, it gets under my skin when anyone says 'my gender does x,y, & z better than yours because bla bla'... That's basically just a massive over-generalization about Both genders. Individuals can be vastly different.

 

[Oxnard]

No... If you ever had that conversation, then you just don't speak up when you like or don't like something.
And then there's no real body language reading either.

Both times it happened to me, she suggested it, I explained that I would prefer not to buy was eager to make her happy. There are certain kinks that are negotiable for me if the other person wants it, and certain kinks I simply will not do. Anyway, in both cases I later found out she didn't really want to do it. Pretty embarrassing conversation to have.

So no. Never had that and I don't think it will ever happen, personally.
Depends partly on personality as well? Depends on the people in that relationship
(I really don't think it has to do with straight/gay oriented reasons?)

Definitely dependent on people, and more importantly communication. I must have done a bad job of explaining that I didn't really want to do those things. Both incidents were over twenty years ago, so my memory of things I'd pretty fuzzy. I mostly remember those incidents because lesbian drinking buddies made fun of me for it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

No. I choose highly-compatible partners and am not afraid to let someone know that from my perspective, what I'm doing is trying out his or her kink to see if I like it. That hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't hesitate to speak on it. What tends to happen instead is a conversation about fantasies and experiences. I have always known for sure that at least one of us was very into the activity because one of us would have said so out loud.

 

[950483]

Um...no. I think I mostly agree with what the others have already posted on the subject. Though I can't help wondering what the hell it was that neither of you wanted to do.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Yeah. What did neither of you want to do?

 

[Oxnard]

Yeah. What did neither of you want to do?

It was over twenty years ago, so my memory is fuzzy. I remember that it wasn't anal in either case. I remember that in one case it was something I had mentioned that I fantasized about, but didn't want to do in real life. Somehow, she took that to mean that I really wanted to do it despite saying otherwise. Since then, I am more careful about which fantasies I talk about.

The few times I tried anal, I had trouble keeping hard, so they believed me when I expressed disinterest before and after and we didn't try again. Thus anal never resulted in the "but honey, I thought you liked that" conversation.