Can You Count How Many Times...

[MickeyLee]

I honestly believe that for every women with a history of sexual trauma there is a man able/capable of commiting those acts.

I fully calculate repeat offenders in my belief system. But I am no where close to believing men who assault are the rarity.

 

[693987]

I like to show support. Not because I like what happened to you.

Exactly. Though sometimes it leads to me leaving profile posts just to make sure folks know why I liked a post talking about something awful.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I honestly believe that for every women with a history of sexual trauma there is a man able/capable of commiting those acts.

I fully calculate repeat offenders in my belief system. But I am no where close to believing men who assault are the rarity.

And while there are female sex offenders, the majority are men. Even the ones who victimize men. Man on man assault happens way more often than woman on man assault happens.

The majority of men are not sex offenders.

 

[693987]

And for the fucking record, because it seems like posts need disclaimers..............

I count plenty of men among the list of people who are dear to me. I have close male friends and have ended up with a long term sweetie who is male. If I held a personal grudge against everyone who did me wrong, my sweetie would never have become my sweetie. I would have run screaming from even talking to him, because of some superficial stuff that he has in common with the living garbage that sexually assaulted me.

 

[LaFemme]

Some of those men that think they’ve never made a woman uncomfortable, really don’t get it. They don’t need to do anything but be physically bigger and stronger and be unknown. If one in three women have been sexually assaulted, then one out of every three women a man comes into contact with is going to be cautious in her contact with men.

And it’s not about having second thoughts the morning after. Holy shit. It’s not “I got drunk and had sex.” It’s someone deliberately intoxicating a woman, isolating her, ensuring she was incapacitated, unable to speak or move and raping her. He can fool himself into thinking it was a drunken romp, but it was rape. And she won’t go to the police because she’ll blame herself for drinking, for allowing herself to get separated from her friends, for thinking he was cute. And he will do it again.

Those guys who would beat the hell out of a rapist better look long and hard at their attitudes. They don’t deserve a medal for not raping. By minimizing the lived experiences of women, they continue to perpetuate the abuse of women. They deserve zero credit for ‘not raping’ because they continue treat women like liars.

 

[MickeyLee]

Where is a PREACH!!! emoticon when you need one

 

[Enid]

I skimmed over the other thread. This stood out to me, regarding dating in the current clime:

"#MeToo has made it even harder for me."

This sounds like a personal problem, dude. What, you think women out there are socially kneecapping men left and right just for shits & giggles? No, they are speaking up for the first time because they now have a stronger support network to let their voices be heard.

I can't count how many times I've been made to feel awkward by men, in situations where sexual shit should have never been "put out there". Men exposing themselves to me in public, weird sex talk from guy "friends", catcalls, etc etc. The most benign being solo pub visits where I read a book and drink beer, men incessantly trying to interrupt me with flirty small talk. JUST LET IT GO DUDE I HAVE A BOOK. I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

Men who complain about metoo putting a crimp in their dating lives will never get it.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I skimmed over the other thread. This stood out to me, regarding dating in the current clime:

"#MeToo has made it even harder for me."

This sounds like a personal problem, dude. What, you think women out there are socially kneecapping men left and right just for shits & giggles? No, they are speaking up for the first time because they now have a stronger support network to let their voices be heard.

I can't count how many times I've been made to feel awkward by men, in situations where sexual shit should have never been "put out there". Men exposing themselves to me in public, weird sex talk from guy "friends", catcalls, etc etc. The most benign being solo pub visits where I read a book and drink beer, men incessantly trying to interrupt me with flirty small talk. JUST LET IT GO DUDE I HAVE A BOOK. I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

Men who complain about metoo putting a crimp in their dating lives will never get it.

And that's what they don't get: dating as a woman at all is hard. Even if we do get more offers, those offers come from some really off-putting people. Some of them aren't offers at all, they're demands.

Everyone has their struggles. I'd say having to be aware of the fact that a person of the opposite sex might not reciprocate sexual attraction is of a lesser evil than having to worry about whether or not the person of the opposite sex might physically overpower you and do things to your body without your consent.

 

[AlteredEgo]

No, I have never tried to count. Those idiotic men in that thread would be SHOCKED how early in our lives this abuse starts. Or maybe not. Maybe they'd just be shocked to realize the way they treat girls is repulsive and abusive.

I know I overheard stories about men being inappropriate with my mother at her work. Trying to get her to tell them what they wanted to hear as far as details about her sex life. The details they wanted to hear were not even true. After my father broke her heart, she never loved another man, never even tried. Her life revolved around me. She kept that job a full 20 years.

So many things just seem really minor to me. I just escape as I can. I'm not looking for cops or HR. I just remove myself.

Have I had to run away? Oh yes. Be violent? I have stabbed a bad man, and I would do it again. I was taught not to strike a man unless I intended to kill him. I left that dude with potentially life-threatening injuries. And I. Would. Do. It. Again. Because when men assault us, kidnap us, poison us, nobody but us can protect us. Nobody in authority cares, and they never will again. There is a rapist in the supreme court. It was fine to make Anita Hill uncomfortable and that turd still hasn't been flushed out of SCOTUS either.

I don't talk to cops unless there is something in it for me. My mother forced me to report a rape once. It made the worst experience of my life to that point get stretched into the longest year. And my rapist never spent even 5 seconds behind bars. In a stand your ground state, during the Zimmerman trial, when I violently defended myself against a man and his wife after the man laid in wait for me, and then trapped me in a laundry room, the cops told me I would be charged with battery because I didn't attempt to retreat (I had neither a duty nor the ability to retreat) and I threw the first blow. See, I don't see these pigs as good for anything beyond oinking. I will continue to be the person I rely upon to protect me from bad actors, whether that means hiding, running, creating a public spectacle, or knowing when it is time to put a dog down.

There are lots of men I love and trust. They outnumber the men I have known who have let me down. I have had fleeting, casual contact with thousands of men who were neither threatening nor inappropriate. But I have had enough discomfort and danger to make me wary of strangers, especially when they are men.

Most men seem to be just regular dudes. Any man who is honestly made fearful by #metoo or #timesup is a creeper. He May not know he's a creeper, but if he thinks he doesn't know how not to get fired or go to prison, he doesn't know how to treat other human beings. If he's doing dirt, I hope he suffers. Time's up, shitbags.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

No, I have never tried to count. Those idiotic men in that thread would be SHOCKED how early in our lives this abuse starts. Or maybe not. Maybe they'd just be shocked to realize the way they treat girls is repulsive and abusive.

I know I overheard stories about men being inappropriate with my mother at her work. Trying to get her to tell them what they wanted to hear as far as details about her sex life. The details they wanted to hear were not even true. After my father broke her heart, she never loved another man, never even tried. Her life revolved around me. She kept that job a full 20 years.

So many things just seem really minor to me. I just escape as I can. I'm not looking for cops or HR. I just remove myself.

Have I had to run away? Oh yes. Be violent? I have stabbed a bad man, and I would do it again. I was taught not to strike a man unless I intended to kill him. I left that dude with potentially life-threatening injuries. And I. Would. Do. It. Again. Because when men assault us, kidnap us, poison us, nobody but us can protect us. Nobody in authority cares, and they never will again. There is a rapist in the supreme court. It was fine to make Anita Hill uncomfortable and that turd still hasn't been flushed out of SCOTUS either.

I don't talk to cops unless there is something in it for me. My mother forced me to report a rape once. It made the worst experience of my life to that point get stretched into the longest year. And my rapist never spent even 5 seconds behind bars. In a stand your ground state, during the Zimmerman trial, when I violently defended myself against a man and his wife after the man laid in wait for me, and then trapped me in a laundry room, the cops told me I would be charged with battery because I didn't attempt to retreat (I had neither a duty nor the ability to retreat) and I threw the first blow. See, I don't see these pigs as good for anything beyond oinking. I will continue to be the person I rely upon to protect me from bad actors, whether that means hiding, running, creating a public spectacle, or knowing when it is time to put a dog down.

There are lots of men I love and trust. They outnumber the men I have known who have let me down. I have had fleeting, casual contact with thousands of men who were neither threatening nor inappropriate. But I have had enough discomfort and danger to make me wary of strangers, especially when they are men.

Most men seem to be just regular dudes. Any man who is honestly made fearful by #metoo or #timesup is a creeper. He May not know he's a creeper, but if he thinks he doesn't know how not to get fired or go to prison, he doesn't know how to treat other human beings. If he's doing dirt, I hope he suffers. Time's up, shitbags.

Don't forget, our PRESIDENT is a fucking rapist.

Shaking my Fucking HEAD

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

By the way, AYC10... LUCKY YOU that you can go to the cops and have confidence that they'd give a fuck to help you.

In my and other ladies experience, not the fucking case.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

On police interaction:

My own parents didn’t believe my assaults at ages in the single digits into my very early teens.
Guess when we moved and they stopped.
That nightmare was never reported.

The one I reported got me laughed at, to my face, by a male officer. I was in high school.

I didn’t report the rape. I think, legally it wasn't a rape because I was married to him, (My use of assault and rape are clarifications of degree)
The assault by the couple? I didn’t even go to the police. I had learned.

The beating, motivated by who I was (Jewish), and the fact that I’d not noticed this dude was hitting on me (I was sort of sidetracked, what with singing onstage and packing gear. Without glasses, I cannot see an audience. Having extreme stage fright, I took advantage of this so I could face where the human sounds were) was reported only because I wound up in an emergency room fighting for my life.
My assailant gave states evidence against a successful killer, and walked on time served. Something like three months.

Remind me why I should subject myself to the system?
And how all these “innocent” men serve time?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Don't forget, our PRESIDENT is a fucking rapist.

Shaking my Fucking HEAD

And a pedophile.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

And a pedophile.

But MeToo is the problem in society...

Fucking nonsense.

 

[AlteredEgo]

By the way, AYC10... LUCKY YOU that you can go to the cops and have confidence that they'd give a fuck to help you.

In my and other ladies experience, not the fucking case.

Fuck the police. Most useless fucking gang I ever encountered.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I do not agree with everything @Sagittarius84 posts, even on this subject, but he not only seems to get it, he seems to want even better understanding.

Meanwhile, that jjzzz guy just comes across as so full of shit. He's NEVER stood too close? NEVER looked too hard for too long? NEVER made more than one attempt to get a disinterested woman's attention? I don't buy it. These are the minor things I think every man does until he knows better. Men doing these things do not necessarily mean any harm, and may not even know that to the woman on the receiving end, these maneuvers are intimidating.

There have been men who shook my hand in introduction but then wouldn't let go of my hand until I was forced to hear them out and tolerate their otherwise gentle flirting. Does anyone believe these men meant to scare me? I don't. But they did. They just wanted me to like them. But I do not. I still remember the sad tone in the last guy's voice when he said, "You won't call. I don't think you like me." He is the reason I do not let men shake my hand unless we are introduced by someone I know, or are conducting business. He wasn't the forst to refuse to let go, but he will be the last one I do not injure. I do not let men shake my hand, so this hasn't been a problem. But if it is, I will maim him. He gets two chances to unhand me. It is false imprisonment. The penalty? I will try to remove his fucking hand from both of us. I do not trust police. I won't be asking for help.

While I think most men are friendly and kind, or at least well-intentioned, I think all humans do random stupid things that make other people uncomfortable. In the case of most people, men in this context, I think most offenses are incredibly minor. The offended escapes the scene ASAP, afraid to make a fuss because she might make him angry, and angry men are dangerous. The offender never knows how he blundered and that he did minor harm to anyone.

How many times a week do I have conversations I do not want to have because it is easier to just be polite and wait for an opportunity to hide from Him? This is better than letting him see which car I get into. Better than angering him. If he's angry, he might hurt me. If he knows my car, he might spot a pattern in my travels, or worse, spot my car in my driveway! So, how many times do I smile and nod, give a fake name, try to let Dude know I'm busy/unavailable without pissing him off? How many times am I thinking about just being honest? "Look, Man, I am in no mood for conversation right now. I do not want to be friends. I am not going to fuck you. I do not want to buy or sell anything. I want to go home, without you, and without you seeing what car I put my groceries in. Have a pleasant day." I think about it every time. I would love to be that clean and clear about it. But what are some common abuses I have to endure if I am honest about not wanting His attention? Will he block my path? Follow me? Scream sexist/racist epithets and invective into my face? Will he be violent? He might. I do not know him. Every man alive is Schrodinger's rapist. I have no way of knowing if the cat in the box is dead or alive, both or neither. I have no way of knowing if the man before me can be rejected safely or not. I only know if he wants to stop me from leaving, he can. If he wants to kill me, he probably can. If he wants to hurt me, he can. If he wants to destroy my life, he can. So, in the intetest of self preservation, I tolerate some bullshit. I look out for other women who might be in trouble. I hide. I run. If all else fails, I fight.

Dudes who think they have NEVER imposed themselves on unappreciative women are either ignorant or liars. lol As if we are going to always be free to just come out and say in plain English, "Go away! You are interrupting my inner monologue."

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Sagittarius and I have flat out argued before. His posts in that thread gave me a new perspective. I appreciate his contributions.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

"I share your frustration with how it precautions women in our presence, but I blame that on the offenders, NOT THE OFFENDED".

That's fucking perfect.

 

[AlteredEgo]

And had I had a daughter, I would hope that she would be well prepared by my wife and myself to handle these situations. When to get up and leave before it goes further. Notice the signs. Tell someone when they are being inappropriate.

LOL She told him when he was being inappropriate. He was so focused on his agenda that he did not understand what she was trying to say.

I too have no idea why she stayed as long as she did. But I do not know her history of experiences, and how they colored her willingness to give a man repeated chances to ammend his behavior. I do know Aziz Ansari made millions and his whole career about being a progressive guy who gets it. A safe guy. A gentleman. He broke no laws. He faced no courts. His career suffers because his career was a lie.

I hope nothing ever happens to any daughter of that poster. If it does, she probably knows better than to tell him. After all, his true thoughts on the matter are that these scenarios only happen to women whose parents did not prepare them for the world.

 

[LaFemme]

“And had I had a daughter, I would hope that she would be well prepared by my wife and myself to handle these situations. When to get up and leave before it goes further. Notice the signs. Tell someone when they are being inappropriate.”

Get up and leave? And what if he doesn’t want you to leave? What’s a dad’s advice then? Submit so you don’t get brutally beaten? Or fight back and end up in the emergency department? Go to the police and end up in that nightmare? “I’m sorry Brad, you’re being inappropriate.” Yeah. That works.

That poster has sons. I do, too. And girls. I prepared the girls for attacks and the boys to respect. Best I could do.