Justin Brookes
Worshipped Member
Well, disagree I guess. I find it annoying, especially the attention whore variety like the ones mentioned before. I definitely don't think it has anything to do with internalized homophobia.
Carl Nassib—first Out Active Nfl Player
- Thread starter leoingenium
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They are, though.
We exist in a heteronormative society in which it is perfectly normal for countless dating shows to watched/discussed/ in which straight people make their sexuality the most important part of their life. The Bacherlor/Bacherlorette is basically a show about heterosexuality. They then spend years making a living continue to do nothing but discuss their sexuality (relationships, love life, sex life, etc.). It's one of the most popular shows. No one reduces them to just their sexuality because they are open about it. There is this ability to compartmentalize straightness that people can't with gayness.
A gay person talking about their relationships, their sex life, or displaying it publicly is somehow reducing themselves to just being gay.
Carl is "different" and "acceptable" to you because you have two different standards. How straight people get to act and how gay people "should" act.
If this many people "misunderstand" you, you may want to look into the possibility that it's you who is not stating your point of view in a clear and effective way. English maybe isn't your first language, so I get that you might be starting with a disadvantage in this conversation.
Justin Brookes
Worshipped Member
No, if he spoke about his boyfriend or anything else gay related in his life that wouldn't be a problem, it's only annoying when it's the only thing you talk about. Or if you try to use it to keep yourself in the limelight. Carl hasn't hidden away from any questions when asked or played coy about being gay, he's just not running around the press seeking attention for coming out and playing on it constantly, which is nice.
Not at all. That was not what I was trying to say. But if talking about your sex life and displaying it in public is the most important thing you do in your life then this is not a good role model for young people. Carl is focused on his career and making something out of his life. That is why I said he is a great role model for young gay men. It´s the same with straight people too. I´m not saying this applies only to gay people. I don´t make a difference there. And that is my personal opinion and has NOTHING to do with homophobia.
The amount of not like other gays in here...
Justin Brookes
Worshipped Member
Explain how not being an attention whore is "not like other gays" unless you're saying gay guys are attention whores which is homophobic.
Honestly, seeing gay men being unapologetically sexual and and expressing that sexual freedom is great for young gays to see. Those people are being themselves and flaunting it without a care in the world, and they're happy. That alone is a great message to send to the LGBTQ+ youth, specially those that might be struggling with their queer identities. I should know, I am a young gay people
I agree completely but it shouldn´t be the only thing you do in your life in my opinion. That was my point. If that is your goal great. Live your life the way you like it. Nothing wrong with it. My point again was something a bit different.
How do we know it's the only thing in their lives? Sure, they talk about it often but all we know of their personal lives is what they choose to put out into the world.
who you mean with "their" ? again, I think you misunderstood me. I was talking about the role model aspect for young teenagers. You act like if I said, gays should not talk about or flaunt their sexuality. This was not was I was saying or trying to say. It´s very good when they do it and everyone should see it. That is self-evident. But please not only. Making a career and having goals in your professional life is important too. That was my point and that´s why I said Carl is a good role model. But we´re going in circles now.
Yeah I might've misunderstood, and I'm not sure I quite understood this last message. But like, it's not like teenagers are gonna base their entire life around a single celebrity's public persona lmao unless they're extremely dumb. They'll obviously they'll have goals and ambitions, every human does. Having gay role models is important for queer kids, but it's not like they don't have a persobality of their own already lol
If "everyone" is misunderstanding you, perhaps that's your fault and not the fault everyone else.
The thing is, I also find the bachelors/bachelorettes annoying. It's not even about sex, any one-trick pony exploiting their identity for fame is annoying, for example someone who makes winning the lottery their whole personality.
Being gay is something that just happened to us. It's fine and great being proud of it, but if that's the only thing you're known for, it just doesn't make for a very inspiring example. Perhaps you are more accepting of the influencer types of personalities, which is fine, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. But your presumption that our dislike of some celebrity gays (not even all of them) must be due to homophobia seems pretty tenuous. In fact I find Lil Nas X who is unapologetically sexual (arguably the most in your face gay right now) awe-inspiring and a great role model.
And, we can praise Carl's journey without necessarily denying others' truth. My admiration for his choices doesn't take away from your admiration of someone like Gus or Colton Underwood. Interpreting any positive sentiment as an underhand attack on others seems like an unhealthy way to look at things.
that was part of my point too. And I think it´s not that hard to understand.
