Dating a size queen/liar, can she change?

[esoteric212]

So to make it brief. my girl now loves me to death (apparently). We laugh alot, talk about whatever, generally have fun and she's told me I'm the first person she's ever truly loved.

So I'm trying to ask, even if she loves me as much as she says, Would she be able to get over her high sex standards, desire for bigger dick and lack of attraction to me? Is she even trustworthy?

She's moderately attracted to me at best, she's told me I'm "not her type" plenty of times. We turn each other on alot, she initiates sex occasionally, and she doesn't seem satisfied afterwards (get's up quickly, moves on to other thoughts, bearly any cuddling) . The last guy she was with before me "made her feel like a virgin" and she had the "best sex of her life" with him, she didn't tell me outright but I did some snooping that I regret. She told me she used him for sex and as an "escape" but she won't have sex with me if she's in a bad mood, and has dried up during sex and cited it as "my mind was somewhere else". Which is direct contradiction to using sex as an escape so I'm clearly not as good and who knows by how much.

She also told me she was a squirter before we started having sex and would talk about how wet she would get and how much liquid would come out. I only make her squirt about half the time in varying amounts, she would often say, "You should fuck me standing up and you'll see how much comes out" Needless to say I haven't made her squirt once standing up...she kind of stopped bringing it up once we started having sex.

I'm coming in at 7.8 x 5.5-5.8 (no pics deal with it) and she actually laughed when I told her every girl before her has told me I'm big. I know I'm not huge, but damn if you're laughing at that then wtf.

She also has expressed interest in one of my more "hung" friends, to the point where I actually broke up with her cause she made a pass at him in front of me (about his dick). I wouldn't have gotten back with her but she begged me for days and I really do love her its just troubling me.

I told her about how much that specifically messed with my head, it was like a passive way to say "I'm not satisfied and I want bigger cock".

She's doing everything she can to make me feel better after that, talking down a big dick we saw in a porno by saying "that looks so painful" we went to a sex shop and saw a 7 inch dildo, she grabbed her stomach and said "ugh i'm in pain just thinking about that", constantly telling me how "satisfied" she is with me.

Bitch please, I know you're lying to me to make me feel better, which makes me feel worse cause it makes me think of it even more. I know she likes rough sex, she's one of the few girls I've met that LOVES getting her cervix hit. Hard.

She also told me she vaginally orgasmed only ONCE in her life and never has come close to it again with any man, but she fucked up my self esteem and now I'm questioning that. Would women lie about something like that?


So what do ya'll think? She cares about me, but she lies to make me feel better which I appreciate in a way but mostly despise.

Women have you ever had a problem similar to this? Where you have to lie about sexual satisfaction to protect your man's feelings/wgo? If so than how did you feel about it, you care about him deeply but you are having a need not being met. If it's on your mind than won't you be more if not very likely to cheat, even if you love him but just to get that feeling back?

It's an issue that I know is going to come up again in some form, if you have had any experience with anything similar to this please be honest about how you felt and how you dealt with it for better or worse.


And obvs I need to get better at sex, it has to do with being in shape I have low stamina and get tired.

 

[totalbabana]

Perhaps you should consider the cuckolding lifestyle x

 

[esoteric212]

You dick! I'd rather get a strap on and put it on myself, if I'm going to be emasculated I'll do it myself!

But really, I could never be with a women like that, It's not arrogance, but if my dick ain't enough then get off it already and go.

 

[Tactfulgal]

I think this whole thread is probably just some weird fantasy of yours (don't start getting defensive and trying to convince anyone, you'll be wasting your breath). If it IS real, dump her and find someone who isn't sick in the head. And in the meantime, get therapy because you're sick in the head too for staying with her for 5 seconds after the first time after she talked up another guy's dick.

 

[esoteric212]

I did break up with her but took her back cause she told me she could change. I posted this thread to get your opinions on if it's even possible for her to change based on similar experiences women on this site have had. Your post wasn't really helpful but I understand why you said what you said.

 

[EllieP]

How's this? My husband is not my type. I tell him that often. He's not 6'2, ripped with a killer tan. He never wears a cowboy hat or boots. He doesn't know much about ranch life, and I've only seen him on horseback twice.

The first time we made love he made me feel like a virgin. I never knew what a size queen was until I joined this site. I know for a fact that I am not one. The size of his peen can be a challenge sometimes. It's not something I ache for. I sometimes ache because of it.

That said, I love him. I love him with my whole heart and body. I ache for him. He's not my type, but he's all mine, and he's taught me that I was stupid to even think I had a type in the first place.

I have never lied to him. He is the best lover I've ever had, and it has zero to do with his size. He is caring in so many more ways than the old soak and poke.

Here's an idea: believe her. Quit worrying about hitting your goals. Instead just love her and make real love to her. Give her something that no one else ever has before. Don't make yourself memorable and a story she'll tell to her next lover. Make yourself her last lover so she'll retell the story to you. "Remember that time?"

Again, if you thought that the only thing women cared about was the size of your weenie then everybody would own stock in dildo factories and tissue manufacturers because we'd all be in our bedrooms, women with their 16" rubber boyfriends and men in theirs with their box of Kleenex and lotion.

 

[esoteric212]

It's not that I personally believed penis size is everything, it's that my girlfriend seems to put an emphasis on it through passive and direct actions. My logic before was, hey I'm big not huge, whatever I have should be enough for just about any women if I use it the right way. But now I'm having biiiiggg self esteem issues.

She seems to have been spoiled by her past 3 ex's. She used the word "HUGE" to describe two of them, and starts rubbing herself and getting all ancy when she talks about the most recent one who was a freak of nature...

It almost helped when she said that one of her ex's was Huge but he "didn't know how to use it and it was horrible", I enjoyed the moment for a second before she said "such a shame, what a waste".

I know not everyone puts emphasis like that on cock size, but my lady here tends to think that way, I'm sure she want's nothing more than one of her ex's cocks swapped with mine and then tear her apart...

Which is why I'm bringing it up to you women, She basically stopped talking about dicks or sex or anything around me after I told her how much she hurt me. Is she to engraved in her ways to change permanently? I can deal with the fact that I'm not the biggest cock, but can she? Any personal stories that are similar?

 

[693987]

Women have you ever had a problem similar to this? Where you have to lie about sexual satisfaction to protect your man's feelings/wgo? If so than how did you feel about it, you care about him deeply but you are having a need not being met. If it's on your mind than won't you be more if not very likely to cheat, even if you love him but just to get that feeling back?

It's an issue that I know is going to come up again in some form, if you have had any experience with anything similar to this please be honest about how you felt and how you dealt with it for better or worse.

I've not had a problem similar to this, no. I've had amazing sex and horrible sex but I have never outright been mean/cruel/etc to a male because of the size of their dick or their performance. Then again, I've also had a variety of people who never were allowed in my bed again, because of the above.

I don't believe in lying to protect someone's feeling or ego in general, but especially not with sex. Life is too short for me to be having bad sex. As for cheating, I think it's despicable behavior. Very quick way for me to lose pretty much all my respect for someone.

IF I'm in a more traditional relationship with a male and the sex isn't up to par, I am quite open to finding a variety of ways to make sure both our needs are met. If it's a hook-up/one-off, then I'm not nearly as worried about it.

 

[Enid]

So I'm trying to ask, even if she loves me as much as she says, Would she be able to get over her high sex standards, desire for bigger dick and lack of attraction to me? Is she even trustworthy?

We can't answer that. I have no idea if she is a trustworthy person.

Honestly, people change all the time. But we have no idea if she will or not.

 

[Jillang]

Which is why I'm bringing it up to you women, She basically stopped talking about dicks or sex or anything around me after I told her how much she hurt me. Is she to engraved in her ways to change permanently? I can deal with the fact that I'm not the biggest cock, but can she? Any personal stories that are similar?

It sounds like she is already dealing with it and trying to work around your feelings. It also sounds like you are the one who can't lest it go.

 

[Mercurygirl]

I don't think this relationship has a prayer. Maturity issues and inability to communicate in a constructive manner. The damage is done, she loves the big ones, your ego is bruised, and you can't get past it. It's over, find a smaller girl.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I read half of your post and based on what you say, she has issues. Leave her. Find yourself and get with someone that is interested in YOU, the person.

 

[esoteric212]

Holy jesus crap, I just read some of these other posts on this website similar to mine just to see if anyone else had similar issue, turns out there are some. It's just some are freaking FAKE written for cukholding pleasure and had HALF the craziness/cruelty in it that this one does. (i was wondering why Tactfulgal used the word fantasy, I thought she was saying it's all in my head and I have nothing to worry about which didn't seem right)


FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE, I didn't realize how nuts I must seem to be with her after all this, and I'm starting to realize how fucking stupid I must be, I need to rebuild my self respect/self esteem from the ground up.

I did grow up being humiliated and hurt alot which is probably why I'm still with her. That's what happens when you're one of 5 black kids in an all white town with not even 1/10 the money of your neighbor, not to mention the people that emotionally hurt me the most were the ones I loved...Good god I have some shit to think about.

*Mind-blown*

Shit...

 

[esoteric212]

Nearly 8 inches isn't big now?

In this fucked up relationship apparently not...goddamnit...Reading your comment is making me realize how ridiculous that is, and how is it even possible. I could dig and dig to try and find out how big her ex was but I never want to truly know, I can't even believe I'm on this website right now writing this.


Well thanks for the responses they are making me realize things about myself and this relationship that I need to address. now.

 

[omgurbig]

Save yourself the pain.

I don't know what is, but size is an issue. Ive meet some amazing men, but sex is a big part of life and when your needs cant be meet, it doesn't last if their looking for manogomy

 

[Tactfulgal]

This is a perspective I'd expect from some of the guys here. I'm talking about the guys who are penis-obsessed and see that as the center of everything. To me the OP's post wasn't about penis at all. It was about a gf who talks about how great some guy in her past was. To me that's an automatic DQ, as in dump her, it doesn't really matter what she's saying. If a guy I was with did that, I'd think OK then you're with me because???? And then we'd be done, period. I don't need to waste time with someone who would rather be with someone else.
Also, if she's doing that, I wouldn't trust that anything she says is true. That's in such bad form that a person who talks up their ex to their current, is doing it to be a jerk or to make the person uncomfortable, there is no reason to believe there's any actual substance to what she's saying.
But as I said, I still have my doubts about it, like a lot of threads here it seems to have an element of fantasy, so who knows.

Save yourself the pain.

I don't know what is, but size is an issue. Ive meet some amazing men, but sex is a big part of life and when your needs cant be meet, it doesn't last if their looking for manogomy

 

[esoteric212]

This is a perspective I'd expect from some of the guys here. I'm talking about the guys who are penis-obsessed and see that as the center of everything. To me the OP's post wasn't about penis at all. It was about a gf who talks about how great some guy in her past was. To me that's an automatic DQ, as in dump her, it doesn't really matter what she's saying. If a guy I was with did that, I'd think OK then you're with me because???? And then we'd be done, period. I don't need to waste time with someone who would rather be with someone else.
Also, if she's doing that, I wouldn't trust that anything she says is true. That's in such bad form that a person who talks up their ex to their current, is doing it to be a jerk or to make the person uncomfortable, there is no reason to believe there's any actual substance to what she's saying.
But as I said, I still have my doubts about it, like a lot of threads here it seems to have an element of fantasy, so who knows.

No this is no fantasy. I'm now single.

Earlier today I contacted her about this and started talking about how much it bothered me. What I didn't realize is that once I started talking I was much more deeply disturbed by it than I thought.

I realized I'm not some doormat, but she kept saying "You need to get over it" and when I asked her why she did it she would only reply "I don't know" or "Whenever you've hurt me I just let it go and don't let it fester" When I asked her if she wanted to fuck my friend she approached she always said "No I don't and I never did I only want you"

Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies, I flipped out.

I don't know? Not an answer everyone has motivation I would have respected her more if she just said she did want to fuck him but no she wouldn't admit it. She just happened to Approach him in front of me and other people and make a pass at him about his cock. That doesn't mean anything apparently...

I freaked out, told her I would never touch her again because she's such a shallow slut she couldn't even tell me she wasn't satisfied. She told me I was "Fine" and I said "BUT THAT DIDNT CUT IT DID IT".

It's over, I'm blocking her and moving out of the city. I need to get my head back on straight. 9 months...for nothing of course.

It's not love...if you can't resist a passerby. *sigh* what a waste of time...FML

 

[Tactfulgal]

OK but I still think you're missing the point if you think this had anything to do with the other guy's dick. If that was really the issue, she wouldn't have wanted you over him, which it sounds like she did. It's pretty clear she's an emotional mess and THAT'S what this was about. She basically told you it had nothing to do with the other guy - she said what she said to hurt you because she was upset. There's no doubt leaving her is the right move, but if you still think this was about penis you're not learning the lesson you should, which is that you want a partner who is grown up enough to handle the ups and downs like an adult.

No this is no fantasy. I'm now single.

Earlier today I contacted her about this and started talking about how much it bothered me. What I didn't realize is that once I started talking I was much more deeply disturbed by it than I thought.

I realized I'm not some doormat, but she kept saying "You need to get over it" and when I asked her why she did it she would only reply "I don't know" or "Whenever you've hurt me I just let it go and don't let it fester" When I asked her if she wanted to fuck my friend she approached she always said "No I don't and I never did I only want you"

Lies Lies Lies Lies Lies, I flipped out.

I don't know? Not an answer everyone has motivation I would have respected her more if she just said she did want to fuck him but no she wouldn't admit it. She just happened to Approach him in front of me and other people and make a pass at him about his cock. That doesn't mean anything apparently...

I freaked out, told her I would never touch her again because she's such a shallow slut she couldn't even tell me she wasn't satisfied. She told me I was "Fine" and I said "BUT THAT DIDNT CUT IT DID IT".

It's over, I'm blocking her and moving out of the city. I need to get my head back on straight. 9 months...for nothing of course.

It's not love...if you can't resist a passerby. *sigh* what a waste of time...FML

 

[esoteric212]

OK but I still think you're missing the point if you think this had anything to do with the other guy's dick. If that was really the issue, she wouldn't have wanted you over him, which it sounds like she did. It's pretty clear she's an emotional mess and THAT'S what this was about. She basically told you it had nothing to do with the other guy - she said what she said to hurt you because she was upset. There's no doubt leaving her is the right move, but if you still think this was about penis you're not learning the lesson you should, which is that you want a partner who is grown up enough to handle the ups and downs like an adult.

Yes I definitely didn't want to accept how immature she was in the relationship but now I'm seeing the light. It's hard to totally dissociate our sex life/my penis size from being motivation for what she said to him...I'm not gonna lie I wasn't the best boyfriend but I don't think anyone deserves what she did. I miss her, I love her, but there is a breaking point. Thanks for your insight, Tactfulgal.


Now to play "In a sentimental mood" on my sax in the moonlight...lol

 

[esoteric212]

OK but I still think you're missing the point if you think this had anything to do with the other guy's dick. If that was really the issue, she wouldn't have wanted you over him, which it sounds like she did. It's pretty clear she's an emotional mess and THAT'S what this was about. She basically told you it had nothing to do with the other guy - she said what she said to hurt you because she was upset. There's no doubt leaving her is the right move, but if you still think this was about penis you're not learning the lesson you should, which is that you want a partner who is grown up enough to handle the ups and downs like an adult.

Oh and btw, about the dick thing. You seem to think I'm referring to just her Ex's. She made a pass at one of my friends who's "hung" I guess right in front of me on my birthday. It was obvious she was talking about his cock and she even admitted it. That's why I'm saying it's a dick thing...cause I mean shit it sort of is.