Did I misread my straight friend sending me signals that he might want to explore bisexuality with me?

[deleted16577781]

Thank you for all your responses. I think the best way is just to come out to him and tell him about some funny experience in gay sauna or something lightweight like that. If he asks followup questions, he may be interested. Or maybe he will just say: "No shit, I always knew" and we will move on.

I think this is a good plan in coming out. Then go from there with further stories or testing.
But, you let him make the first move towards 'sex'.

 

[BARBXO]

Next time you two are hanging out in boxers, take the boxers off and be naked. See what happens next.

Omg

 

[moridin]

The best way to test him is if you are hanging out in your boxers or pajama bottoms, leave it unbuttoned and allow your dick to show a little and gauge his reaction. Or if you go to take a shower, strip naked in front of him. Would help to have a semi. Watch his face, and crotch for any indication that he likes it.

 

[ttpave]

I had a scenario like this that seemed to be progressing in what would have become a physical relationship. At this point we are great friends and have known each other for over 10 years. We are closer to each other than we are with our brothers actually. I have been there for him, and he has been there for me when we go through a tough time.

So did you just keep it strictly as friends?

 

[Tight_End_SC]

Yes. No line ever crossed as 'they would say'.

 

[mattto]

I think he gives signals of interest. I have an experience with a str8 guy, married with kids. It's quite long ago. A russian guy and after soviet collapse very interested to visit the west. He visited several times. First time nothing happened. Next time he asked if we could watch some porn after sauna when we sit naked. We sit quite close. We both got a boner. Hands under towels discretely stroking and bu the time towels fell open. After some time when he took his hand off his cock, I grabbed it. He tense some, but let me do. He also took mine and we wanked each other to cum. This became a thing to do in evenings. He didn't like any other touching. Not sleep in the same bed, but he liked my hand on his cock. I know I took a risk, but it was successful. Now we've lost contact after he's moved.
My advice could be to watch porn, or a film that contains explicit sex scenes. In a fun or exciting scene when you sit close in just underwear, why not put your hand on his leg, maybe stroke a bit. If he doesn't put it away, maybe advance a bit. Just so you can safely take your hand off without loosing face. My feeling is that he'll like it and let you do more. If you it a bit carefully,you have a way to joke it off. Myself I'm the shy and careful guy who don't usually take the first step, but there's been situations like with this guy when I couldn't control my hand and it was success.
Hope my story can be of help!

 

[DeepDarkSecret]

I know there is a lot of similar topics on LPSG but I would like to ask bicurious men about a specific situation with my friend. This has been nagging me for a while and I would appreciate answers mainly from guys who were mostly straight but discovered their bisexuality in their 20s or 30s.

I have a 37 year old buddy who is by all means straight (GF in college now wife & kids). We have known each other since college. I consider him a good buddy, never had any deeper feelings for him but I find him quite attractive. He doesn't know I'm gay but I was never pretending to be interested in girls neither. Pretty sure my college friends consider me a closet case.

Over the years, I noticed there were couple things indicating he may be bicurious:
- very touchy with men, especially after being drunk.
- a couple of times mentioning wanking together, although he is very often joking about everything and making whacky comments out of a sudden. He is rarely serious about anything.
- a couple of times he mentioned how cute/good looking I was.
- one of our mutual male friends made a weird remark about him once. Something like: oh, it wouldn't surprise me if he made a move on another guy. But it could have been just a tease.
- very horny. We were roomies for a while and I found his cum rag by accident. Couldn't help checking on it every now and then (shouldn't have, I know) and it always looked freshly used. And he used to complain about his sex life after marriage (see next point).
- his wife has low sex drive. Combine it with him being horny and it may be a recipe to consider other ways for quick release.

For some time we have lived in different countries. Few years ago I was visiting his family for a few days, then his wife and kid left and we were all alone in an apartment, hanging around and drinking too much beer. A couple of things happened:
- after taking a shower he asked if I heard him wanking in the bathroom. I said no and we didn't continue with this conversation;
- when I was lying on bed wearing only boxers, he commented how manly I looked;
- we were sitting drunk on the coach late at night watching silly YouTube videos. He was sitting close to me and I swear he was checking out my crotch. But I may have as well imagined it.

I regret so much not asking at that moment: "Well, this YouTube video is boring, I would prefer some nice porn". If he wanted to explore MM sexuality like wanking together or something more, I would gladly help with that. I keep thinking about this situation again and again. Is it likely he wanted to initiate something or am I reading too much into it? Should I arrange any situation next time we meet? Of course, I don't want to lose him as a friend. I'd really appreciate your opinion on that.

Some things are just better left alone my brother.

It’s the same when I have close female friends that I value very much. Why ruin a perfectly good friendship?

Just my opinion. Some things are just better left alone.

 

[LuttleOne]

The best way forward is to carry on what you are doing, maybe be a bit more flirtatious and it's likely if he is thinking about experimenting then it'll be with you.

An update would be nice?

 

[njpup]

Omg

Was thinking the same thing. That is bad advice. LOL

 

[silahis90210]

I know there is a lot of similar topics on LPSG but I would like to ask bicurious men about a specific situation with my friend. This has been nagging me for a while and I would appreciate answers mainly from guys who were mostly straight but discovered their bisexuality in their 20s or 30s.

I have a 37 year old buddy who is by all means straight (GF in college now wife & kids). We have known each other since college. I consider him a good buddy, never had any deeper feelings for him but I find him quite attractive. He doesn't know I'm gay but I was never pretending to be interested in girls neither. Pretty sure my college friends consider me a closet case.

Over the years, I noticed there were couple things indicating he may be bicurious:
- very touchy with men, especially after being drunk.
- a couple of times mentioning wanking together, although he is very often joking about everything and making whacky comments out of a sudden. He is rarely serious about anything.
- a couple of times he mentioned how cute/good looking I was.
- one of our mutual male friends made a weird remark about him once. Something like: oh, it wouldn't surprise me if he made a move on another guy. But it could have been just a tease.
- very horny. We were roomies for a while and I found his cum rag by accident. Couldn't help checking on it every now and then (shouldn't have, I know) and it always looked freshly used. And he used to complain about his sex life after marriage (see next point).
- his wife has low sex drive. Combine it with him being horny and it may be a recipe to consider other ways for quick release.

For some time we have lived in different countries. Few years ago I was visiting his family for a few days, then his wife and kid left and we were all alone in an apartment, hanging around and drinking too much beer. A couple of things happened:
- after taking a shower he asked if I heard him wanking in the bathroom. I said no and we didn't continue with this conversation;
- when I was lying on bed wearing only boxers, he commented how manly I looked;
- we were sitting drunk on the coach late at night watching silly YouTube videos. He was sitting close to me and I swear he was checking out my crotch. But I may have as well imagined it.

I regret so much not asking at that moment: "Well, this YouTube video is boring, I would prefer some nice porn". If he wanted to explore MM sexuality like wanking together or something more, I would gladly help with that. I keep thinking about this situation again and again. Is it likely he wanted to initiate something or am I reading too much into it? Should I arrange any situation next time we meet? Of course, I don't want to lose him as a friend. I'd really appreciate your opinion on that.

A quick way to find out is to display your junk to him casually. For example, you are drying up with your towel outside the bathroom, where he can see you 100%. Of course, you'll have to sport a semi-hardon to gauge his interest (a.k.a. lust). Lol.

 

[8Cylinder]

I think living outside the US for over 10 years has made me much more open. Of course, I was very open in the beginning. After coming out at 18 by accident, I've learned that the more game playing, the worse the consequences. No one ever wants to make the first move... so don't make any moves. Make equally playful comments and engage him in the game he's playing, but one up him. To "you look manly tonight" you could reply, "probably because I'm a horny man like you". This will likely reduce the sexual tension in the room, which is clearly present between you and he.

Comics come out onto stage and say what we're all thinking, so we all laugh. That's because no one dares say what they're thinking outside of making it a "joke" so they can back out if it goes wrong. George Carlin made a career out of simply speaking his mind about government and many other situations, where in fact he was only making true statements based on his analysis of life. If you engage someone on their turf they can't be butt hurt by it. Just stay light with all of it and avoid any soap opera drama, especially in your own head.

Things would go much better for everyone if we could only venture being honest without being heavy about it. The easiest way for me to let someone know I'm gay is an ultra-casual and comfortable, matter-of-fact reference. People can't redress the truth when it is spoken without decoration or drama.

"I'd like to meet your wife, do you have kids?"
To introduce you to her, I'd have to change sexuality, so no, no kids. You?

Easy.