Hi .. I'd love to ask for some input and perspectives on having a sexual playmate "side" partner when you have a strong emotional attachment and a healthy sexual relationship with another man?
My situation is admittedly "complicated." I'm still married to my wife but our relationship disintegrated years ago. That's a whole other story, except to say she knows about my attractions and resents them, but she has a thus far treatable metastasized cancer and I don't think it's right to divorce . We have two grown sons, the younger graduated college recently and is working but still living with us which is fine, he has loans to pay off. The elder is married and lives out of town .
My "boyfriend" lover is also married to his wife. He lives 2 hours away. His mom is still living, she lives in a retirement community in my area, and just accepted an offer on her house also in my area where he and I have had a place to go and even a couple overnights. After that's gone soon we will still have a place to go but it's not like home.
We've grown together sexually, and are extremely compatible in so many ways I've never been with my wife. He's been seeing men much longer than I have , probably all furtive encounters. I think I'm his first enduring relationship.. 6 years now. We are both vers with one another. I'm the first man he let top him. I love having him in me and i love giving him sensations when topping him that nobody else has. I love letting him be completely his authentic self with me because he's otherwise so in the closet. He is extraordinarily sexually responsive but was fading after a bit... We thought for a brief time he'd benefit from Viagra but his attraction seems to have really bonded, now he can flip from top to bottom and still reboot before cumming ... I'm nothing but happy with him and at peace in his arms.. he's physically fit and while his face has aged he's still handsome. I just know his marriage isn't going anywhere...so I'm trying to make the best of things while I can .. it's like a limbo state of emotional attachment without the possibility now of commitment. We may never end up caring for each other in our old age or marrying but we enjoy being soulmates as long as we can.
My wrinkle is a guy I just can't quit. He is physically everything I dreamed of most all my life.. manly handsome , taller, built, and really well endowed. He's all top and when I'm with him I just melt and swoon .. he's such a passionate lover and a very nice guy, so there's a friend connection even though the relationship is overwhelmingly sexual. He loves to breed me and doze off cuddling together... sometimes staying inside me, sometimes rebooting for round 2.
I still can't make sense for myself now it is I just love submitting to him when my normal inclination is vers... but more usually one time top one bottom with my bf because that's what works for him. No displeasure or disappointment there, just saying that being all bottom is not necessarily my norm, it's just what I do because I just can't seem to quit wanting to be in the arms of my big strong daddy man. .
He has a lovely condo not far away, shared with an older woman who I think works for him. And oh yeah, he has a bf in FL, they are on flights every other week seeing each other. But his attraction to me hasn't waned.
I welcome any thoughts questions or comments, especially about loving someone but having a "side."
Adding a couple "side" photos for context.
