Ok recently I re-joined Grindr and there was a person who was seconds away from me which peaked my curiousity, we got talking but he was being very vague about who he was, I know he lived in my street possibly doors away which make me even more curious, as the time went on I started getting bored of questioning him cause he wasn't giving me much, we stopped talking for awhile and then we began talking again this time he gave me his snapchat which was just a random username couldn't get any info from that but his name on snapchat was a single letter so it began the mystery I was going to find out who he was, I went through all the people that lived in my street I know it makes me sound crazy. Anyway I asked him on snap if I get his name right he said he'd tell me who it was, I began listing every guy in the street with the initial that was on his profile and he said none of them were him. So months go by and as im walking down my street I seen a guy with the same name as the initial and I hadn't suspected him as I hadn't heard about him for years, so I asked if it was him and he confirmed it was him. FINALLY after months I had cracked the code and knew who it was the only problem was I knew the guy and used to be friends with him when we were younger, to make things even worse were both not out as anything so I'm thinking of meeting him but the fact we used to know each other is throwing me off cause I think it might be awkward as like I said he dropped of the face of the earth I fully forgot he existed. Do I meet him? Do I block him and move on? I need help
Also I’m also too scared to tell him who I am so if I meet him and he’s not expecting me it might freak him out that someone he used to know and lives so close, knows his whole family and knows his secret, but the reason I’m thinking of meeting him is cause we both have a this secret and it’s not like we could out each other. I just don’t know how he’d react which is why I’m asking
also, I have told him in our chats we used to be friends and told him stuff to jog his memory of me without physically naming myself but he pretended to not remember me and was still willing to meet so I wouldn’t be ambushing him like I made it sound above.
chrisrobin
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Do you want a fuck - will he fuck you - take it from there, bodies want what bodies must have
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As is most always the case with this type of question, human nature is to make things far too complicated and difficult. Just send him a clear message that states you knew him before, and were concerned about him being nervous about that. Just tell him who you are and be done with it. If he freaks out, don't meet him. If he's OK with it, do. Don't overthink it.
Go for it. Since you know each other, you might actually become friends who can openly hang out and secretly fuck
meet him. it will be #1 fun, #2 you can both finally be yourselves around each other and #3 you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Have fun and enjoy
Have fun and enjoy
Yeah, go for it. Be honest, be open. You're both keeping things a secret so you'll both be vulnerable - that can be a great basis for friendship and good sex. Since you know him, I'd suggest sending your face pic and saying hey. He can say no, or it could be great fun...
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My wife and I lived 30 minutes away from each other. I attended public school but knew a bunch of people who attended the private school my wife went to locate in my town. We know we went to the same parties and knew dozens of people in common but never met. After graduation we both went to seperate colleges, only to both transfer to the same college where we would meet in a class we had together.
6 years, between school and summers and holiday breaks we were probably in the same house hundreds of times, and had we met any of those times we would have hated each other and our 25+ years of marriage and incredible kids never would have happened.
God, Allah, Yahwey, Athena, Odin, karma... whatever you want to call it brings people into our lives, and brings people into our lives again, at the right time. If you think this could make you happy, DO IT.
6 years, between school and summers and holiday breaks we were probably in the same house hundreds of times, and had we met any of those times we would have hated each other and our 25+ years of marriage and incredible kids never would have happened.
God, Allah, Yahwey, Athena, Odin, karma... whatever you want to call it brings people into our lives, and brings people into our lives again, at the right time. If you think this could make you happy, DO IT.
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- vex4,
You'll continue to not know until you ask him.
First I'd say don't just block him. Even if you decide you want to call it off because of who he is don't block him, just explain that openly to him. You've already talked with him for long enough that ghosting/blocking him isn't the way to go.
Now you said neither him nor you are out. That's ok, everyone comes out on their own time, you can be in a relationship with him, if that's what both of you want and it's no ones business but the two of you, and you can work toward coming out later if you want to tell your families about how happy you are with him, or not It's all up to you two... ...unless you're not just 'not out' but also one or both of you are married, then there's other obvious things to consider that I think I don't need to explain, so I'll just say I'm not encouraging cheating.
Sometimes I find it can be helpful to think of 'the worst thing that could happen' and see it's not that bad.
If you're both not out, then he's not likely to out you to anyone, and if as paranoid as I can think down that line if you're civil to him he'd have no reason to anyway.
If you already know each other, then sure it could be awkward if you want to start a sexual relationship with him, but first meetings can always be awkward you'll live through it.
I think the important thing is, do you enjoy talking to him, and are you interested in him sexually? If those are a yes then go for it man. Keep talking to him, arrange a meet-up. Communicate your thoughts to him, It doesn't have to be marriage on the first physical-meet up, it doesn't have to be sex, it can be talking, grabbing a drink, watching a tv show, playing a game, whatever, just getting comfortable being around each other in the real world. Things can progress from there if you guys want it to, and "worst case scenario" you end up just being friends with someone who you can relate to who's going through something similar you are not being out. To me, that worst case still sounds pretty good.
Just my 2 cents on the matter (well maybe 10 cents that was a lot of text), anyway I don't claim to be good at any of this.
Pull the trigger and meet him. Might be awkward at first knowing what the other likes, but it might wind of being a long term FB.
Sounds like sane advice to me.You'll continue to not know until you ask him.
First I'd say don't just block him. Even if you decide you want to call it off because of who he is don't block him, just explain that openly to him. You've already talked with him for long enough that ghosting/blocking him isn't the way to go.
Now you said neither him nor you are out. That's ok, everyone comes out on their own time, you can be in a relationship with him, if that's what both of you want and it's no ones business but the two of you, and you can work toward coming out later if you want to tell your families about how happy you are with him, or not It's all up to you two... ...unless you're not just 'not out' but also one or both of you are married, then there's other obvious things to consider that I think I don't need to explain, so I'll just say I'm not encouraging cheating.
Sometimes I find it can be helpful to think of 'the worst thing that could happen' and see it's not that bad.
If you're both not out, then he's not likely to out you to anyone, and if as paranoid as I can think down that line if you're civil to him he'd have no reason to anyway.
If you already know each other, then sure it could be awkward if you want to start a sexual relationship with him, but first meetings can always be awkward you'll live through it.
I think the important thing is, do you enjoy talking to him, and are you interested in him sexually? If those are a yes then go for it man. Keep talking to him, arrange a meet-up. Communicate your thoughts to him, It doesn't have to be marriage on the first physical-meet up, it doesn't have to be sex, it can be talking, grabbing a drink, watching a tv show, playing a game, whatever, just getting comfortable being around each other in the real world. Things can progress from there if you guys want it to, and "worst case scenario" you end up just being friends with someone who you can relate to who's going through something similar you are not being out. To me, that worst case still sounds pretty good.
Just my 2 cents on the matter (well maybe 10 cents that was a lot of text), anyway I don't claim to be good at any of this.
You both have a secret TOGETHER. So now you have something to talk about together.
Go for it.
I'm 27 and he's 2-3 years younger, not sure why that's relevant and we were friends & our friendship ended as we grew up and grew apart as i'm older than him and got new friends and just stopped hanging out with him, he kinda dropped off the face of the earth he didn't have any social media, never saw him out and about and I just forgot about him until ^ happened and I didn't even think of him as a candidate until I seen him in the street and well the story is up above.
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"...we were friends & our friendship ended as we grew up and grew apart..."
Wow, that sounds like a really great place to start. You could mention something like, you enjoyed the friendship back then, and kinda sorry you guys just drifted apart over the years, but now glad to have made the contact with him again. And then mention something, or ask if he remembers... such-and-such, when you guys were younger.
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Sadly not, I decided against meeting him despite everyones advice to go for it, I didn't go through with it cause I talked to a guy friend about him and turns out he'll go with just about anyone whereas I'm picky and very careful with who I meet and although it seems simple I've been told he goes cruising and is not discriminate about who he meets and does things with which is a total turn off me, thank you for all your advice but I think I'm just gonna leave it.
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