How the porn industry is killing male intimacy

[Angelit]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the discussion regarding how pornography may have detrimental effects on male self-image is closely tied to the increasing reluctance to expose nudity in a communal context. The porn industry has contributed to creating an even greater taboo surrounding male nudity. In the past, communal showers and open locker rooms were commonplace, and nobody really thought much of it. However, in today's society, many men feel extremely self-conscious about their nudity, and in my opinion this is widely attributed to the influence of pornography. The idea is that constant exposure to images of porn actors with giant dicks and ideal bodies has made men uncomfortable with their own. Due to the fact that we tend to compare ourselves as a natural tendency. This discomfort with male communal nudity directly contributes to the cycle of pornography consumption. As a result, men may not have opportunities to see real, healthy bodies outside of the pornographic context, leading them to believe that the unrealistic standards portrayed in pornography are normal. This lack of healthy external references makes it even more challenging to seek realistic guidance on sex and relationships. Which directly makes them search for more porn since they’re so sure they aren’t suitable for a “real” relationship.


I really think that the deconstruction of this taboo offers a potential solution to address the unrealistic ideals perpetuated by pornography. By promoting a healthier attitude toward communal nudity and embracing a more natural and diverse representation of the male body, we can create a counterbalance to the distorted images found in pornography. Encouraging environments where men feel comfortable in communal settings, such as gyms or locker rooms, can have a positive impact on self-esteem and body image. It can help individuals realize that there is a wide range of body types, none of which should be stigmatized or compared to the exaggerated portrayals often seen in pornography.

Moreover, promoting open discussions about the influence of pornography on self-image and relationships can empower individuals to seek alternative sources of sexual education and intimacy. This includes emphasizing the importance of emotional connection, consent, and realistic expectations in intimate relationships. Breaking down the taboo surrounding communal nudity can contribute to a healthier perspective on the male body and sexuality. It allows individuals to challenge the unrealistic ideals presented in pornography and fosters a more realistic and positive self-image, which is crucial for overall mental and emotional well-being.

 

[Angelit]

There’s more! Communal nudity, particularly in contexts like school locker rooms or communal showers, can have a profound impact on developing males. It offers an opportunity for young people to develop a sense of communal unity and body positivity. This experience can help them build healthier perspectives on their bodies, realizing that there is no one "perfect" body shape or size. This contrast with the idealized bodies seen in pornography can be a crucial step in promoting body positivity.

Nudity in communal settings fosters trust among peers, which is important for healthy relationships not only during development but also in later life. Developing males who are comfortable with their bodies and have experienced comunal nudity may find it easier to develop healthy intimate relationships, prioritizing emotional connection and consent over unrealistic expectations perpetuated by pornography, communal nudity provides a real-world contrast to the distorted representations found in pornograpyh, helping developing males understand that what they see in pornography is far from reallity. This awareness is essential for reducing the harmful effects of pornography on their self-image and sexual expectations .

The taboo around communal nudity, as influenced by pornography, is stealing young men valuable experiences. As this taboo continues to grow, it becomes more challenging for them to access the positive values associated with communal nudity.

 

[coolestguy]

Even a site like this can make people think the average size is 6 inches. But that's what people like to see on the Internet nowadays.

I always shower naked and walk back without a towel. However if all you see are big softies flopping in the locker room, it will have negative impact. We need more people with average or smaller packages to drop the towels.

 

[Sagittarius84]

I'd agree with your premise if it were not for one determining factor you've left out: the attraction of women.
I believe a world where women both openly express and enthusiastically act upon attraction to a variety of male bodies is one where porn has little to no impact upon male self image. Men fixate upon porn because it is a realm of men whom illicit genuine, unchecked desire from women, as opposed to the conditional, often transactional intimacy most men hope will even be offered in a relationship context.
Women have free license to idolize whatever male form they choose, and while they may ideologically profess an openness to all male bodies, their choices and sexual enthusiasm reveal an overwhelming preference for porn worthy men(even if they logically don't enjoy the sociological/relational consequences of that man), and men are inclined to obsess or put themselves into a position to win. Does your average woman see the value in communal male nudity? Are straight men that engage in such activity in a better or worse position to appeal to an average woman?
You can't blame porn, because it serves an audience, it doesn't create it, and if your average man lived in a world where non porn standard male bodies were coveted and acted upon as openly and as commonly as the ideal, it really would not matter what standard or imagery porn put out as ideal, because it couldn't compete with the results of real life.

 

[Wannabee]

I'd agree with your premise if it were not for one determining factor you've left out: the attraction of women.
I believe a world where women both openly express and enthusiastically act upon attraction to a variety of male bodies is one where porn has little to no impact upon male self image. Men fixate upon porn because it is a realm of men whom illicit genuine, unchecked desire from women, as opposed to the conditional, often transactional intimacy most men hope will even be offered in a relationship context.
Women have free license to idolize whatever male form they choose, and while they may ideologically profess an openness to all male bodies, their choices and sexual enthusiasm reveal an overwhelming preference for porn worthy men(even if they logically don't enjoy the sociological/relational consequences of that man), and men are inclined to obsess or put themselves into a position to win. Does your average woman see the value in communal male nudity? Are straight men that engage in such activity in a better or worse position to appeal to an average woman?
You can't blame porn, because it serves an audience, it doesn't create it, and if your average man lived in a world where non porn standard male bodies were coveted and acted upon as openly and as commonly as the ideal, it really would not matter what standard or imagery porn put out as ideal, because it couldn't compete with the results of real life.

Eggszackley! while I have dated women who were great lovers and then those who could care less, I never gaged sex on the level of porn because to me it's only visual and I have only used it during masturbation sometimes. many times I might not mess with porn for months, imagination works wonders! If people use porn as a model for love making that's another mistake, those people are making pretty good money and the pressure to perform can also be pretty good!

 

[deleted24385681]

I don't watch that much professional gay porn anyway, prefer amateur. I also think amateur porn is the future anyway.

 

[Sagittarius84]

If anything, from what I gather seeing porn actors over the yrs, the imagery is a reflection of the sexually successful in life; I think the ubiquity of the fugly to average looking porn actor in decades past was indicative of the average man's success in mating and dating, so what does the unrealistic male body standards so present in porn inform us as to what's happening to average men today?

 

[Barberseville]

The border between amateur and professional porn is completely blurred now. Anyone can become "semi-professional" by launching an OF and working to market themselves on social media. Twitter seems to have become the preferred short clips site for advertising OF performers, whilst Instagram is used to hook punters with G rated material with some flesh on view and a bulge. I don't think there is such a thing as amateur porn, there is just porn, that's all and for most performers their income from performing will be mixed with other employment, maybe stripping, escorting, other modeling, personal training or a mainstream job.

I think another element to the anxiety is the rise of gay identity, which I am not criticising, so please don't misconstrue me. However, I observe that the emergence of the gay movement has led many straight young men to be concerned about being perceived as gay through the sexualisation of male nudity. "Gay" has actually become a label which many straight men deploy to shame other men, regardless of their sexuality and actual orientation. Concern that they will be perceived as "gay" (or even a slur) by their peers leads some men to over compensate by covering up, not showing any nudity, and becoming extremely prudent, whereas in a more innocent age when identity politics was less polarised, it was less of a problem.

Unfortunately identity politics creates a reaction from the majority, and creates "two sides" rather than the healthy spectrum of experimentation and the rainbow of human variety. But don't let this spoil the enjoyment of this site.

 

[Sagittarius84]

I think another element to the anxiety is the rise of gay identity, which I am not criticising, so please don't misconstrue me. However, I observe that the emergence of the gay movement has led many straight young men to be concerned about being perceived as gay through the sexualisation of male nudity. "Gay" has actually become a label which many straight men deploy to shame other men, regardless of their sexuality and actual orientation. Concern that they will be perceived as "gay" (or even a slur) by their peers leads some men to over compensate by covering up, not showing any nudity, and becoming extremely prudent, whereas in a more innocent age when identity politics was less polarised, it was less of a problem.

To me, the double edged sword of manhood is ironically in our innate propensity to fall upon it when things aren't working right.
There are plenty of examples of men whom through communal nudity, homoerotic experience, fashion, demeanor, and other such divergences from heternormative masculinity do not face peer shaming or feel the need to overcompensate because.....?
The sexual attention and enthusiasm of women negates any slur a straight peer could volley. The slurs of men are reactionary, and men whom are highly valued by women due to looks, status, or socioeconomic footprint do not face them. We have to get out of this mindset that assumes the ideological and social allyship of straight women to LGBT demographics precludes their collective sexual aversions and borderline homophobic mating tendencies. No slur about a straight man's percieved orientation holds water when he is sexually desired by women, which connects the slur more to his real world position in the sexual marketplace, then a shaming tactic.

 

[coolestguy]

Not covering up in locker room is being considered gay now?

 

[Mr_Username]

Not covering up in locker room is being considered gay now?

If anything I would think gay men would cover up. I'd think they would be more conscious of it and take the safe modest route. Straight men I would expect wouldn't care as much since they aren't thinking as much about men looking at men.

 

[theplayerking]

I think there might be other causes. The rise of the Me Too and related movements has made people more circumspect in any situation that might be remotely sexual. I also think the mainstreaming of bisexuality and the huge increase in the number people identifying as bisexual (which I think is a good thing) might make some people more modest. Knowing that a hypermasculine jock at the gym that’s always talking about his girlfriend’s pussy might also like bending over and taking it up the ass, could change the locker room dynamic.

 

[WilliamG]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the discussion regarding how pornography may have detrimental effects on male self-image is closely tied to the increasing reluctance to expose nudity in a communal context...

We have other issues. Look at the healthy physics of the guys in those pics...

By today's standards they would be fitness models. But leading into the 1970's diets changed drastically. Now we have millions of morbidly obese young men. And given social media's "high" standards of beauty... What young man wants to be naked when they have an extra 50lbs of body fat?

We have a health problem not a porn related issue in my opinion when it comes to being naked around others.

 

[dd_dylan]

You are massively generalising about porn here. I watch a lot of porn that features men who in all honesty are not in great shape. Many have smaller cocks than my own as well, which is a turn-off, but I am mostly focused on the woman so it's OK.

I watch a lot of porn made by female content creators such as OF girls who have bust out of the old fashioned studio aesthetic and I guess the men who they choose to feature in their vids are closer to a random sample. So maybe that's the answer, stop watching porn made by straight male producers. But then even the studio porn that I watch is not "unrealistic" because I don't click on unrealistic looking things. And in any case, even huge cocks are not "unrealistic", they are just rare. But they exist just like tiny ones and average ones exist.

I think there are a boatload of reasons why we straight men are becoming more insecure but if you want to blame unrealistic beauty standards, I suspect it comes from mainstream media rather than porn, just as it always has for the ladies. I agree that being naked in communal spaces should be encouraged - but I'm an exhibitionist with a large soft cock so I'm biased, I'm not sure how I would feel if it was tiny.

 

[Angelit]

I'd agree with your premise if it were not for one determining factor you've left out: the attraction of women.
I believe a world where women both openly express and enthusiastically act upon attraction to a variety of male bodies is one where porn has little to no impact upon male self image. Men fixate upon porn because it is a realm of men whom illicit genuine, unchecked desire from women, as opposed to the conditional, often transactional intimacy most men hope will even be offered in a relationship context.
Women have free license to idolize whatever male form they choose, and while they may ideologically profess an openness to all male bodies, their choices and sexual enthusiasm reveal an overwhelming preference for porn worthy men(even if they logically don't enjoy the sociological/relational consequences of that man), and men are inclined to obsess or put themselves into a position to win. Does your average woman see the value in communal male nudity? Are straight men that engage in such activity in a better or worse position to appeal to an average woman?
You can't blame porn, because it serves an audience, it doesn't create it, and if your average man lived in a world where non porn standard male bodies were coveted and acted upon as openly and as commonly as the ideal, it really would not matter what standard or imagery porn put out as ideal, because it couldn't compete with the results of real life.

The point you made is crucial. It’s important to acknowledge, though, that women’s preferences when it comes to the male body are often really different than men often assume. Pornography is produced to fullfill male power fantasies, what can result in distorted representations of bodies and relationships. Women watch porn in a smaller scale in comparison to men, and that discrepancy on the audience could indicate that porn industry’s unreal expectations affect way more men than women. Recognizing this can be a great step towards the deconstruction of the said taboo.

It’s essencial to recognize that what women really want is different than what men THINK they want. Porn doesn’t reflect with precision what women find attractive or fullfiling on real life. It is greatly oriented by male fantasy and not necessarily by the reality of interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, it is important to remember that we’re discussing is male health and self awareness, not necessarily what the average woman sees value in.

The deconstruction of male nudity taboo in peership contexts should ABSOLUTELY NOT be determined by women opinions, since they’re not directly related to the situation.

The focus is how the deconstruction of the said taboo could positively affect male’s health, well being and their relation with porn, and in that sense, women’s opinion should not be nowhere near the central point.

 

[Sagittarius84]

The point you made is crucial. It’s important to acknowledge, though, that women’s preferences when it comes to the male body are often really different than men often assume. Pornography is produced to fullfill male power fantasies, what can result in distorted representations of bodies and relationships. Women watch porn in a smaller scale in comparison to men, and that discrepancy on the audience could indicate that porn industry’s unreal expectations affect way more men than women. Recognizing this can be a great step towards the deconstruction of the said taboo.

I think you missed a crucial part of my point. I'm not saying that mainstream porn is serving the female gaze as per its male performers, if that were the case a simple concerted effort to realign the porn actors respective bodies to those of the modern man would be purportedly enough to indoctrinate women's eyes.
I think the issue is porn is reflective of whom amongst men is getting the most casually available and genuinely enthusiastic sex; as evidenced by the fact, in yrs past the average porn actor, often genitalia included, was pretty average looking amongst men. I don't think it's any coincidence that male communal nudity was a lot more ubiquitous in the past as well.

It’s essencial to recognize that what women really want is different than what men THINK they want. Porn doesn’t reflect with precision what women find attractive or fullfiling on real life. It is greatly oriented by male fantasy and not necessarily by the reality of interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, it is important to remember that we’re discussing is male health and self awareness, not necessarily what the average woman sees value in.

The deconstruction of male nudity taboo in peership contexts should ABSOLUTELY NOT be determined by women opinions, since they’re not directly related to the situation.

The focus is how the deconstruction of the said taboo could positively affect male’s health, well being and their relation with porn, and in that sense, women’s opinion should not be nowhere near the central point

There is ideology and there is reality. I don't doubt ideologically that women have a different relationship to looks when it comes to searching for mates, but I know in reality who women casually and enthusiastically have sex with, as well as bear children out of wedlock for are much more closely aligned to some porn or other fantasy construct than that of the average guy.
You cannot separate the collective straight man's opinion of his body or his general worth from his perception of his position in the sexual marketplace, and porn couldn't exist and change as it has(wide range of female beauty, very narrow margin of beauty for men) without it reflecting reality....Delusion is typically a much better sales tactic geared towards women than men, hence why female porn(romance novels, rom coms) are much better examples of media influencing their audience then porn and its "influence" on men.

 

[mcFred]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the discussion regarding how pornography may have detrimental effects on male self-image is closely tied to the increasing reluctance to expose nudity in a communal context. The porn industry has contributed to creating an even greater taboo surrounding male nudity. In the past, communal showers and open locker rooms were commonplace, and nobody really thought much of it. However, in today's society, many men feel extremely self-conscious about their nudity, and in my opinion this is widely attributed to the influence of pornography. The idea is that constant exposure to images of porn actors with giant dicks and ideal bodies has made men uncomfortable with their own. Due to the fact that we tend to compare ourselves as a natural tendency. This discomfort with male communal nudity directly contributes to the cycle of pornography consumption. As a result, men may not have opportunities to see real, healthy bodies outside of the pornographic context, leading them to believe that the unrealistic standards portrayed in pornography are normal. This lack of healthy external references makes it even more challenging to seek realistic guidance on sex and relationships. Which directly makes them search for more porn since they’re so sure they aren’t suitable for a “real” relationship.


I really think that the deconstruction of this taboo offers a potential solution to address the unrealistic ideals perpetuated by pornography. By promoting a healthier attitude toward communal nudity and embracing a more natural and diverse representation of the male body, we can create a counterbalance to the distorted images found in pornography. Encouraging environments where men feel comfortable in communal settings, such as gyms or locker rooms, can have a positive impact on self-esteem and body image. It can help individuals realize that there is a wide range of body types, none of which should be stigmatized or compared to the exaggerated portrayals often seen in pornography.

Moreover, promoting open discussions about the influence of pornography on self-image and relationships can empower individuals to seek alternative sources of sexual education and intimacy. This includes emphasizing the importance of emotional connection, consent, and realistic expectations in intimate relationships. Breaking down the taboo surrounding communal nudity can contribute to a healthier perspective on the male body and sexuality. It allows individuals to challenge the unrealistic ideals presented in pornography and fosters a more realistic and positive self-image, which is crucial for overall mental and emotional well-being.

Why would u think on PORN only? I mean, take a quick browse to hundreds or thousands of Instagram accounts and there’s clearly an “ideal stereotype” of what a manly man should look like… but I’d take that any given day over the fem / ambiguous or boyish/twinkish look of the “men” models on mainstream publications, movies, tv etc…

As of dick size… it has ALWAYS mattered regardless social media or porn… 30+ yrs ago back in highschool or the “communal” or opened showers and steam rooms at the gyms during the 90s and 2000s… everybody gay / str8 was looking at each other… not like annoying uncomfortable staring, just the casually “checking”…

Finally, and straight up, gay men… we are 1000% more self concious about our physical looks than str8 men (remember when we call them “metrosexual”?)… and eye candy: hairy pecs, powerful arms and legs, bubble butts and great packages are more “enjoyable” either way.

So, just my humble opinion, not much has changed and I’ve been on this planet for almost 5 decades!

 

[deleted5122991]

i think that is true, bc all the sexes what i do is most penetration and the men who doesnt care for my pleasure if i "fight" for this

 

[seventiesdemon]

No, social media is killing us all. Maybe, one day, us boomers that were around at it's beginnings will be listened to.

Then you will be able to blame Boomers for doing that to you also, for inventing the internet that fucked you up.. You blame us for everything else.

But you know what. We didn't blame those who died on every beach, on every Island through the Pacific, through every town in Europe on the way to Berlin....the 100,000's of thousands who gave you the gift to post your fucking opinions.

No, we didn't. We saw humans walk on the moon, we saw the invention of TV, Internet, mobile phones...........and the expansion of human invention we will not see for decades. We moved ahead.


Yeah...The porn industry is killing Male Intimacy.

Yeah...what a dilemma you all face.

Want a hint....the Porn Industry does what you tell it to do.

 

[ASK JEFF]

I’d at least like a good story and great acting. That “hey, I’m late on my rent again, Mr. Johnson…what should I do?” And literally two seconds later “how bout dis!” Boringgggggg