How To Get Over Being Small

[Llbaker]

(This, in my view, is a social defense mechanism: denying the role of penis size in male hierarchies which victimizes at least 1/2 of the male population,)

Even your statistics here are wrong.

(perhaps more if you credit surveys that show far more that 1/2 of men are substantially concerned and feel inferior about their penis size.)

Or, it could just be that men are more overly emotional than women. Going back to the whole a man wrote that women were less than men in the bible thing. Meaning men during that time were so afraid of women becoming competition for them that they cheated to force women in sub roles.

You didn't say what is wrong with my statistics? Of course, I can't verify them first hand, but I know plenty of men who feel "small" and inferior when over 6" when the average is 5.2" according to studies. That would seem to support the statistics I mentioned.

Of course men are overly emotional about their penis size and sexual performance as compared to women. Yeah! That's part of how it works! Penis size is primarily a male status issue. That's what we are talking about!

Yes, men oppressed women and treated them like property primarily to avoid sexual competition that might hurt their "pride" and evoke unpleasant "emotions". Many men would like to re-establish the "old system" at least in fantasy. Women have got used to being compared to other women like pieces of meat and, therefore, get into make-up, high heels, fashion, surgery, etc. With justification they ridicule men who can't cope with being compared sexually.

 

[Llbaker]

(When women are involved in this argument here at LPSG, most of what we hear is how women are systematically victimized much more severely than men with small penises regardless of race creed or color.)

That's because it's true. They have been. Should i now go into a history lesson? One in which i talk about women being murdered as witches just because they disagreed with their husbands, just because they disagreed with the church, just because they were women and even the bible screams women are less than men? Cause i can if you want.

Of course it is true. Bringing that up is besides the point: competing victimhoods again.

The topic is "How to get over being small."

 

[Llbaker]

I'm beginning to suspect that maybe your motive here is to both frustrate and piss me off. If so, you haven't. As you can see i can still follow the actual discussion.

Really? If I wanted to piss you off, I'd say ALL PEOPLE, regardless of race creed or color, deny small penis oppression much like white people tend to deny the remaining racism against Blacks. I don't deny the remaining racism, by the way, because I see it up close.

I hope that didn't actually piss you off. I meant it as a clarification.

I continue to wait for advice on "How to get over being small."

You seemed to suggest in a metaphorical way that dropping our shields (defenses? hiding tendency?) might be helpful. My testimony is that it isn't helpful. The Patriarchal Phallocracy treats the small like "near women" and oppresses both the small and women. It is true that typical "defenses" often identify the small crippled as surely as nudity.

I have no problem with accepting that throughout history women were treated worse than the small. The small might have developed compensatory fighting skills, limiting their vulnerability more successfully than women, etc.

 

[spaj8987]

Really? If I wanted to piss you off, I'd say ALL PEOPLE, regardless of race creed or color, deny small penis oppression much like white people tend to deny the remaining racism against Blacks. I don't deny the remaining racism, by the way, because I see it up close.

I hope that didn't actually piss you off. I meant it as a clarification.

I continue to wait for advice on "How to get over being small."

You seemed to suggest in a metaphorical way that dropping our shields (defenses? hiding tendency?) might be helpful. My testimony is that it isn't helpful. The Patriarchal Phallocracy treats the small like "near women" and oppresses both the small and women. It is true that typical "defenses" often identify the small crippled as surely as nudity.

I have no problem with accepting that throughout history women were treated worse than the small. The small might have developed compensatory fighting skills, limiting their vulnerability more successfully than women, etc.

Gotta admit. I lied. And i lied on purpose. I've already talked about how black people or african americans (not blacks, it may not seem important to you when it comes to language but it matters) can help men with small or smaller. I was just curious to see if you read it. Apparently you did not. Which says more about your way of understanding issues and discussing issues than anything else.

(But the topic is "How to Get Over Being Small." So far, we just get denial (or minimization) that the problem exists. Please tell me what Black people can contribute to dealing with this problem. The "small" Black men I've communicate with didn't seem to have an answer.)

You've kept repeating that the topic is men with small or smaller. As if i've been trying to change the subject. And as we've already seen i've talked before about how what black people go through can be of assistance to men with small or smaller.

(Because i mean, do women exist who are pleased by your size? What about men? Is it statistically possible for that to be the case? What do you think black people do regularly that you might not be doing regarding penis size? Do black people in general automatically accept what racists say as not only being true but 100% true? Should anyone accept what others say as being true 100% without ever asking questions or only asking a few? Should black people take whats said to them directly to heart and should they feel bad about themselves because it was said? There was a point to where the racist stuff got to me. And sometimes rarely still do when i'm in a vulnerable state. It's just that i know why they say it. Why they feel it. Where it comes from. Who taught it to them. What they aren't saying. What they're afraid to say. How instantly afraid of my race they are and why. And most of all they know there's no way in hell they could handle even a fraction of what they dish out.)

Questions. And the answers to those questions. Been saying that this entire time. And yet every last reply from you now says and implies i haven't. With bits of you flat out denying that it even could help. I think what's been happening and what continues to happen here is pretty clear. It may not be clear to you. You may hope it isn't clear to others. But i'm very sure it's crystal.

(The "small" Black men I've communicate with didn't seem to have an answer.))

So does that then mean there aren't any?

(I continue to wait for advice on "How to get over being small.")

And you got it, multiple times.

(You seemed to suggest in a metaphorical way that dropping our shields (defenses? hiding tendency?) might be helpful.)

Where you got this from i do not know. Asking questions of people does not make you vulnerable. Again, how you came to that conclusion i have no clue.

(Of course it is true. Bringing that up is besides the point: competing victimhoods again.)

At this point i'm pretty sure you're trying to paint me as the alt-right's label of needing to be a victim. Your language is so close to it that it's taking everything in me to continue giving you the last few shreds of benefit of doubt i can muster. And not completely and utterly dismiss you completely. Even if groups that want to kill men with small or smaller are created today it would still never compared to what was done, what is being done and what will continue to be done to black people. There is no competition. Period. I'm not just saying that as a black man. I'm saying that as a black man who does his best to be as logical as possible.

(Of course men are overly emotional about their penis size and sexual performance as compared to women. Yeah! That's part of how it works! Penis size is primarily a male status issue.)

And yet women are made fun of for way more things than guys. If they don't have the right makeup, aren't the specific size, if their vagina has long lips, if they haven't shaved, if they don't have money, if they do, if they like sex, if they don't among a whole host of other things. Difference is stead of labeling the wrong people of promoting it women have started movements targeting the specific groups of people who push that sort of stuff. With men created groups to try to silence them illogically.

Again, even the bibles of the world make fun of women. Make women to be seen as less than men. With as far as i can tell absolutely nothing in them about men with small or smaller. I mean do stores for men change sizes even within specific store brands for the sole purpose of making men feel like shit over their weight? No.

And then there's breast size, hair, waist, feet, ankles, thighs, hands and so on that women very often are made of for having against what men have created as the standards of beauty. Before they're of age, during and after. There's literally websites devoted by women to pointing out how even in older ages women are expected to continue on manipulated standards of beauty when men do not. A guy can get chubby in their older ages and have it not be seen as too much of an issue. Meanwhile men will divorce a woman immediately after she's gained weight even after having his kids.

(Really? If I wanted to piss you off, I'd say ALL PEOPLE, regardless of race creed or color, deny small penis oppression much like white people tend to deny the remaining racism against Blacks.)

And what would piss you off is me accurately and logically saying....there is no oppression when it comes to men with small or smaller.

[Oppression refers to an overt or secret malicious and harmful pattern of subjugation and exploitation of a community or individuals practiced by a regime, which is thus authoritarian or totalitarian but may be autocratic or hegemonic, on one or more levels of social structures such as governments and institutions from international to local.]

The government could not care less if a man is small or smaller. So while there are social problems and men with small or smaller are socially considered less than illogically. Men with small or smaller are not and i mean are NOT...oppressed. There is no political party within government that wants to ban men with small or smaller from the country. No political party that would use dog whistle politics to imply that men with small or smaller are inherently dangerous. No political party that would like to take away the rights of men with small or smaller because they are small or smaller.

There is though a political party who wants to do that with muslims. With immigrants. With african americans. With women. What you said doesn't make me angry. It makes me laugh. How ignorant or dismissive of history do you have to be to think like you do? Very. If anything it makes me sad. Because the very thing i've said this entire time could without doubt help you personally.

(With justification they ridicule men who can't cope with being compared sexually.)

No, it's justified when men with small or smaller get to the point you personally have. Where you try to put having a small or smaller penis on the same level as traditionally targeted groups of people who were murdered...again MURDERED for their skin color, their gender, their sexuality, their religion, and so on. THAT'S when it's valid to ridicule men with small or smaller. Because it's massively illogical. And no normal human being would think it's equal. So basically when men with small or smaller get the point you have. They deserve the ridicule. At that point the ridicule serves a purpose. Since you refuse to educate yourself might as well have a little fun with it.

I think i've officially said about as much as is possible to you. Hopefully other men with small or smaller get it. It's clear you never will. Have a good one.

 

[Llbaker]

(You seemed to suggest in a metaphorical way that dropping our shields (defenses? hiding tendency?) might be helpful.)

Wasn't it you that brought up the relative merits of going into battle with and without a shield?

 

[spaj8987]

.....i did. For a very specific purpose in a very specific scenario. Do you not remember either the purpose or the scenario? Cause this is getting tedious.

 

[Llbaker]

No, it's justified when men with small or smaller get to the point you personally have. Where you try to put having a small or smaller penis on the same level as traditionally targeted groups of people who were murdered...again MURDERED for their skin color, their gender, their sexuality, their religion, and so on. THAT'S when it's valid to ridicule men with small or smaller.

But I never did that! Never. You made the comparison to reject what I am saying.

I'm saying there is another group of men that are targeted in a different way, one with which you are either unfamiliar or in denial about because you find it uncomfortable.

 

[Llbaker]

.....i did. For a very specific purpose in a very specific scenario. Do you not remember either the purpose or the scenario? Cause this is getting tedious.

I'll go back and study what you said, then.

 

[spaj8987]

But I never did that! Never. You made the comparison to reject what I am saying.

I'm saying there is another group of men that are targeted in a different way, one with which you are either unfamiliar or in denial about because you find it uncomfortable.

For the love of dragons. The soldiers with the shield who had more damage were men with small or smaller. The soldier without a shield and less damage was black people. Even though black people are targeted more they end up with more understanding and can deal with racism better than men with small or smaller and being less targeted with penis size shaming.

That was me saying that men with small or smaller (there's a reason i keep saying that) can learn from black people that not all of the insults are true. That in fact most of them aren't. That the people who make fun of men with small or smaller very often have massive insecurities in which they think making fun of others over something they can't change will help their egos. That it isn't true and that racists try to make fun of black people for the same reasons.

People try to use manipulated statistics to make fun of both. People go from a so called evolutionary to make fun of both. Try to point to science to say both aren't preferable. Both come from people who if they were really happy, contented or busy in their own lives wouldn't. Both come from the same conservative ideology. Both come from the desire to cheat games, be it socially, financially or otherwise. Both groups of people. Those who are racists and those who shame others for their size have many things in common.

Meanwhile, men with small or smaller and black people do not when it comes to how to deal with it. Black people ask if it's true when it comes to manipulated statistics. Men with small or smaller generally do not. Black people see that we are valuable to the human race. Men with small or smaller do not. Black people will have discussions on the topic of race. Men with small or smaller generally refuse to even acknowledge a discussion is even possible regarding how society sees them. Black people generally don't automatically accept that we are the worst of the worst when racists say we are. Men with small or smaller generally do. Without question.

This is the point i've been making this entire time. Black people (and i've been speaking in general because of course not all black people know all of this because of how wide spread racism has been for hundreds of years) know something men with small or smaller do not. Many things in fact.

The highest among them. Just because a straight white conservative christian male with a considerable amount of money says a thing...it doesn't mean it's true. That just because multiple straight white conservative christian males with a considerable amount of money can influence society toward certain opinions about a targeted group it doesn't mean it's true.

And that the second men with small or smaller learn that it will be the same second they get on the road to being able to understand just how incorrect and illogical ALL of the insults about men with small or smaller actually is. And the sooner that happens the sooner they can then not be automatically down on themselves which is the gateway drug for the rest of their issues regarding their size.

Damn.

 

[Llbaker]

Lets say we're talking medieval battle. We're talking about soldiers. And there are two kinds. One with a shield and one without. And we then begin to talk about the potential damage both might receive on said battlefield. Who is less likely to get seriously damaged? The soldier with a shield or the one without?

Now. Lets say a hypothetical battle did happen. And somehow the soldier without a shield received less damage than the one with a shield. Don't you think it would be a good idea for the one without the shield who received less damage to talk to the one with the shield who received more? Don't you think it would be productive for the one with a shield to ask how the one without a shield avoided as much damage? Instead of ignoring the fact that the one without a shield received less damage then going on about how much damage they did receive?

I guess I misinterpreted this trying to find meaning relative to "How to get over being small." Of course, it would be in the interests of the more damaged to ask the less damaged for advice. The question, I assume, was asked by the OP.

Here's a more direct question.

(I'm saying that "what Black people know" is not generally applicable to the small penis conundrum.)

How in the name of buttons would you know? I'm black and have yet to be asked how, have yet to be able to fully explain why and so on because you personally are still stuck on (The differences in the 2 problems [race in a racist society and a small penis in a patriarchal phallocracy] individuals might face is very different making the solutions, if any, very different.).

So far instead of asking how, questioning how or even beginning to let the possibility that black people may know more than you come forth in any way you've denied denied denied.

Here's something else you haven't really thought about. The fact that black people (and in general people of color) can't hide means you should be even more curious how they deal with things that in a way are similar to what men with small or smaller go through. Basically, bringing that up effectively works against your argument that you shouldn't ask or be curious.

I thought the OP asked the question and anyone with an answer would have responded by now.

I stated at some point what I thought African American people in America have done: describe the injustices committed against them, find allies, and work for redress, some measures of which have been achieved. Was that your advice? The same?

Or are you talking about possibly labeling the oppressor part of the population as ignorant, mentally ill, beneath contempt etc. Yeah, I see why that works for African Americans as a psychological defense. An ACCURATE defense too. Not imaginary.

I also explained why those 2 solutions don't help with the small penis issue. Outing oneself makes a movement impossible. Defining for your own psychological peace small penis shammers as contemptible obviously wouldn't work, because the whole society is phallocratic as indicated by the universal acceptability of small dick humor. Even close friends insist, usually covertly, that you get your dick status right.

You mentioned learning to please sex partners other ways too, I think. Sure, there is some utility in that but I explained the main driver of penis status shaming is among men.

 

[Llbaker]

Looks like were typing at the same time, but it worked-out well anyway.

 

[Llbaker]

Your point about small or smaller is a good one. Men above average, but smaller than some often have ridiculous worries.

But the small or smaller thing cuts both ways. The whole society is so sick on this issue that the small look down on the smaller at almost all points of the size spectrum.

 

[DeclanBrent]

I think what may have become lost here is this: racism in our society cannot be compared to penis size shaming, so let's take it out of the equation. Racism, despite the many good points made about people of colour being targeted by insidious cultural bias, is an FAR removed from the common penis shamer.
That said: fantastic points have been made about how being non-white creates an unavoidable alliance of people who feel for one another because the septic cunts of our kind have chosen to discriminate them. Men with small cocks (or small cock issues) have no such protection. No man is going to admit to being in sympathy with discriminated against fellow small cocks because that might mean he has a small cock, God forbid. And no wonan is going to join the crusade because that might mean her partner has a small cock and she ain't gunna tar him with that toxic brush.
So small cock man, just get over your pathetic insecurity, cos you're on your own.
A perhaps very pertinent aside: I've had small cock abuse/ridicule/comment in school, college, work and sport- related situations. Although a minority, the people with whom I have been to school, college, work and sport have been either black or mixed race. Never once, not once, has a rude/joking/insulting comment been passed my way by a non-white person. Believe me because I take note. Every last one of my co-workers, sports team members and 'friends' who has belittled me has been as white as the driven snow.
I don't know if that means anything, but I'll tell you this - I feel far less judged while naked among non-whites than I do among my fellow whites.
Make of that what you will.

 

[Llbaker]

I think what may have become lost here is this: racism in our society cannot be compared to penis size shaming, so let's take it out of the equation. Racism, despite the many good points made about people of colour being targeted by insidious cultural bias, is an FAR removed from the common penis shamer.

That said: fantastic points have been made about how being non-white creates an unavoidable alliance of people who feel for one another because the septic cunts of our kind have chosen to discriminate them. Men with small cocks (or small cock issues) have no such protection. No man is going to admit to being in sympathy with discriminated against fellow small cocks because that might mean he has a small cock, God forbid. And no woman is going to join the crusade because that might mean her partner has a small cock and she ain't gunna tar him with that toxic brush.

So small cock man, just get over your pathetic insecurity, cos you're on your own.

A perhaps very pertinent aside: I've had small cock abuse/ridicule/comment in school, college, work and sport- related situations. Although a minority, the people with whom I have been to school, college, work and sport have been either black or mixed race. Never once, not once, has a rude/joking/insulting comment been passed my way by a non-white person. Believe me because I take note. Every last one of my co-workers, sports team members and 'friends' who has belittled me has been as white as the driven snow.

I don't know if that means anything, but I'll tell you this - I feel far less judged while naked among non-whites than I do among my fellow whites.

Make of that what you will.

I think we could do without comments regarding "septic cunts." Weren't other words available or were you really targeting women as the evil doers?

Regarding African Americans and other minorities not making penis put-downs at white men: I think you are seeing formal racial "etiquette" or "distance", in operation, not a lack of phallocratic attitudes. You won't see it the other way around either unless some real white knuckle draggers are ganging-up on a minority.

Now-a-days, racial ettiquette would often hide the more blatant attitudes except in the case of the truly ignorant. Obviously, I dislike the extreme abuse I and others suffered from ignorant knuckle draggers in Jr. High and HS, but the more subdued attitudes of friends and peers were much more damaging.

I say this without implying African Americans are any more prone to this sort of thing than anyone else.

 

[spaj8987]

I think we could do without comments regarding "septic cunts." Weren't other words available or were you really targeting women as the evil doers?

Regarding African Americans and other minorities not making penis put-downs at white men: I think you are seeing formal racial "etiquette" or "distance", in operation, not a lack of phallocratic attitudes. You won't see it the other way around either unless some real white knuckle draggers are ganging-up on a minority.

Now-a-days, racial ettiquette would often hide the more blatant attitudes except in the case of the truly ignorant. Obviously, I dislike the extreme abuse I and others suffered from ignorant knuckle draggers in Jr. High and HS, but the more subdued attitudes of friends and peers were much more damaging.

I say this without implying African Americans are any more prone to this sort of thing than anyone else.

(Outing oneself makes a movement impossible.)

I'm flabbergasted. Is this topic just that new that people don't understand it all that well? Same goes for the factors i brought up regarding black people? Because never once did i say to create a million small or smaller man march. We're talking psychological effects here so naturally the advice (and it is and has been advice) stays their. I get the feeling you're just trolling me at this point. Seeing how far you can press my buttons. Could be wrong.

(The whole society is so sick on this issue that the small look down on the smaller at almost all points of the size spectrum.)

No. It isn't the whole of society. That's the point i've been making. Except when it comes to sex i highly doubt ALL of society even gives a shit. Men with small and smaller do. Because they view people as being concerned with it but that could also be said of others.

When people get into deep depression they stop being nearly as accurate about the world as they've been before. They begin to view others as caring about things whether those people do or not. And ways of dealing with that kind of depression revolves around asking questions. Does this person think i'm the worst? Do they people really hate me?

I'm not an expert or anything. Have never even studied it but i would imagine the way out of depressive thoughts is to be honest with yourself and to be honest about others. Which is in direct contrast to the second part of your sentence.

Yes, even guys with small look down on guys they consider to be smaller. You are correct. Where you're stuck though is if it's true or not. Are they smaller? Is being smaller really that bad? No. It isn't as bad as you seemingly think.

(Sure, there is some utility in that but I explained the main driver of penis status shaming is among men.)

Once again i agree. It does come from men. Most of the values in society that negatively harm us come from men. And yet it's more than insults. There are things behind it. Reasons why it's done. Certain types of people who do it. There is information to work with.

Take martin luther king jr for instance. Do you think he was able to do the things he's done by waking up one day after some magical light turned on? No. He thought about the issues he faced. Thought about the issues black people faced. Then tried to come up with solutions for them. As far as i can tell you have yet to even try to do that. And that is my entire point. Try. Try to find solutions. Ask questions of what you think is concrete.

I guarantee you. Once you start doing that. Not protesting. Things will begin to make more sense. And after a while you won't feel as bad as you might about your size. Why? Because when it comes to sex in general there are an amazing amount of lies out there. Overwhelming even. Which gets worse with dating. And expands even further when it comes to people in general.

Questions dude. Being more logical or attempting to be more logical. I don't think people really understand this all that well (could be wrong) but the more logical you are the better you'll feel. Not fake logic where you try to justify wrong doing of others but real logic that can be universal. Good luck.

 

[DeclanBrent]

@Llbaker Just to be clear, that comment was not aimed at women. Just as men can be called 'pussies' and women as 'pricks' my use of those words was 'non-gender' and targeted at racists, not women. Apologies for any offense caused by its use.

 

[DeclanBrent]

@spaj8987
No. It isn't the whole of society. That's the point i've been making. Except when it comes to sex i highly doubt ALL of society even gives a shit. Men with small and smaller do. Because they view people as being concerned with it but that could also be said of others

This!
This is what I meant from the start with my analogy about my girlfriend's ex who was Caribbean. Prior to that my thoughts were: 'Why do people of colour have a chip on their shoulder about racism when there is no more legislated racism?' It was only once she told me his story that I was able to truly understand, a lightbulb moment. And the only way I could understand was by linking up my rage at being discriminated against for being small and the rage of being discriminated against for being black. We've established there is no rational explanation for comparing the two forms of discrimination, but it was the only way I could finally see what it was like being black, or a woman, or gay, or Muslim, but particularly black. At the risk of going around in circles, it makes perfect sense to me to say that had I not had this utter shame about being small, I would have gone through my life ignorantly perplexed about that 'chip on the shoulder' of people of colour. So, I totally get what people mean when they're like: Get over yourself and your small dick cos we all got problems, pal.'

I guess the answer to this is that the vast majority of people will never give a shit, and will continue to think mocking a small guy is fair game. The only two responses for people in my situation, who refuse to fetishize it (good luck to those who do but it's not my thing) are to fight back as if you are truly being discriminated against (at which point you confirm that you do truly have a small penis or at least that you THINK you do) or remain silent and accept that it's the person giving the insult who has the real problem. I'm trapped between those two responses - if I keep quiet I internalise the shame and if I strike back I am now forever micro guy who has a thin skin about it.

 

[DeclanBrent]

@spaj8987
'Questions dude. Being more logical or attempting to be more logical. I don't think people really understand this all that well (could be wrong) but the more logical you are the better you'll feel. Not fake logic where you try to justify wrong doing of others but real logic that can be universal. Good luck.'

And amen to that!

 

[Llbaker]

(The whole society is so sick on this issue that the small look down on the smaller at almost all points of the size spectrum.)

No. It isn't the whole of society. That's the point i've been making. Except when it comes to sex i highly doubt ALL of society even gives a shit. Men with small and smaller do. Because they view people as being concerned with it but that could also be said of others.

Good. Now we're getting into the data area. Yes, it is the whole of society.

I have already mentioned surveys and the universal small penis humor phenomenon. Men with large and larger dismiss the small, they don't hate them. The small are relegated to low status unless they are capable of tremendous compensation either physically or intellectually. Even then, they can't be part of the peer group in the same way.

 

[Llbaker]

When people get into deep depression they stop being nearly as accurate about the world as they've been before. They begin to view others as caring about things whether those people do or not. And ways of dealing with that kind of depression revolves around asking questions. Does this person think i'm the worst? Do they people really hate me?

I'm not an expert or anything. Have never even studied it but i would imagine the way out of depressive thoughts is to be honest with yourself and to be honest about others. Which is in direct contrast to the second part of your sentence.

The opposite of depressed seems to be enthused. The enthused are susceptible to blind spots and delusion as well. They need to believe in what keeps them enthused. Focusing on the plight of those consigned to lower status would not be fun. Hate is not relevant.