How would you react?

[AlteredEgo]

May I just say this? You seem really cool. You're multifaceted, insightful, thoughtful. These traits may or may not be easy to present organically and quickly, but if you can just keep meeting women, and keep them talking with you, exchanging ideas and jokes with you long enough to get a glimpse of who you might be, I wouldn't think you'd have a lot of trouble exploring whatever you'd like to explore with women.

Do you have a relatively handsome, friendly face? Doesn't even have to be super handsome, just not totally unappealing to the person in question, though conventional attractiveness helps. That helps when trying to break the ice.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

May I just say this? You seem really cool. You're multifaceted, insightful, thoughtful. These traits may or may not be easy to present organically and quickly, but if you can just keep meeting women, and keep them talking with you, exchanging ideas and jokes with you long enough to get a glimpse of who you might be, I wouldn't think you'd have a lot of trouble exploring whatever you'd like to explore with women.

Do you have a relatively handsome, friendly face? Doesn't even have to be super handsome, just not totally unappealing to the person in question, though conventional attractiveness helps. That helps when trying to break the ice.

I’m actually very good at presenting my best qualities. I can be really funny and charming and witty. And actually I have a compulsion that I have to be all those things all of the time. My problem is that in my head it’s all an act. I feel like I’m tricking people into thinking I’m great. Then my naturals reaction is to retreat so that they’ll never know any different. I don’t want to let them down. And I’m clearly not trying to brag about my situation, but I’m actually very handsome. In every group of friends I have, I’m considered the best looking. I’ll share face pics individually if anybody is curious, I don’t mind. For obvious reasons I don’t want to post them publicly

 

[693987]

I’m actually very good at presenting my best qualities. I can be really funny and charming and witty. And actually I have a compulsion that I have to be all those things all of the time. My problem is that in my head it’s all an act. I feel like I’m tricking people into thinking I’m great. Then my naturals reaction is to retreat so that they’ll never know any different. I don’t want to let them down. And I’m clearly not trying to brag about my situation, but I’m actually very handsome. In every group of friends I have, I’m considered the best looking. I’ll share face pics individually if anybody is curious, I don’t mind. For obvious reasons I don’t want to post them publicly

Kind of a derail, but I imagine you and I potentially share similar difficulties with writing a resume. I know I'm good at (some) things, but I have a mother fucker of a time putting it down on paper. It seems like bragging, it feels fake, etc. Just because you're x, y, and z positive traits doesn't mean you have to showcase them all the time. That doesn't mean your positive traits are fake, it just means you have a variety of facets to you.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

Kind of a derail, but I imagine you and I potentially share similar difficulties with writing a resume. I know I'm good at (some) things, but I have a mother fucker of a time putting it down on paper. It seems like bragging, it feels fake, etc. Just because you're x, y, and z positive traits doesn't mean you have to showcase them all the time. That doesn't mean your positive traits are fake, it just means you have a variety of facets to you.

I never liked resumes either. It does always sound like a lie or a brag. I never brag. I always try to undersell and over deliver. If I did brag more I’d probably have gotten laid by now. In reality I’ve proabbly got a better body and a bigger penis than every one of my friends. But they’ll never know that because I’ll never say anything

 

[AlteredEgo]

I’m actually very good at presenting my best qualities. I can be really funny and charming and witty. And actually I have a compulsion that I have to be all those things all of the time. My problem is that in my head it’s all an act. I feel like I’m tricking people into thinking I’m great. Then my naturals reaction is to retreat so that they’ll never know any different. I don’t want to let them down. And I’m clearly not trying to brag about my situation, but I’m actually very handsome. In every group of friends I have, I’m considered the best looking. I’ll share face pics individually if anybody is curious, I don’t mind. For obvious reasons I don’t want to post them publicly

What if it isn't an act, and those feelings are just the same doubts and insecurity others also feel? If you are funny, you ARE funny. Etc.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

What if it isn't an act, and those feelings are just the same doubts and insecurity others also feel? If you are funny, you ARE funny. Etc.

I do think I really am all those good things. But I only show those things. Only the things I’m good at. Nobody ever sees me make a mistake. I don’t trip I don’t spill anything I never misspeak or stumble over words. I’m terrified of being bad at something. I know I don’t know how to kiss, I don’t know how to have sex. I feel like I’m walking into a gunfight with an AR15 and an empty mag. If push comes to shove I can’t close. I’m a dog chasing a car. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I actually caught one. That’s really what scares me I think. I know I won’t be good, at least at first.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I do think I really am all those good things. But I only show those things. Only the things I’m good at. Nobody ever sees me make a mistake. I don’t trip I don’t spill anything I never misspeak or stumble over words. I’m terrified of being bad at something. I know I don’t know how to kiss, I don’t know how to have sex. I feel like I’m walking into a gunfight with an AR15 and an empty mag. If push comes to shove I can’t close. I’m a dog chasing a car. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I actually caught one. That’s really what scares me I think. I know I won’t be good, at least at first.

Sex is about how all parties involved feel. It's about your pleasure too. Don't feel like the whole thing is a performance. It's an experience.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Sex involves mistakes, because it's messy and unpredictable. It involves communication. It involves exposure.

Acceptance it a key word, that's the vibe I'm getting. You have to accept that you may not be a great sexual partner for some people. You may be amazing for others. You'll find that it works the same way for you. Some partners may not be Your preference . And that's perfectly normal.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Sex is about how all parties involved feel. It's about your pleasure too. Don't feel like the whole thing is a performance. It's an experience.

This. It's not a performance. It's sharing. Just try things that seem like they would feel nice. Note whether or not you believe you were right about how it feels from your perspective, then pay attention to how she seems to be communicating it feels to her. Seriously, that's how it goes for everyone. Since nothing is universal, every new partner is very much like the first time. The only real clue you sometimes get is that most people will do to you what they know feels good to them, for starters. Pay attention to the first two seconds, and then imitate her. Nothing is universal, so that's not a guaranteed good time for anyone, but it can be a good baseline for experimentation. Every kiss is an experiment, honestly.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

Sex is about how all parties involved feel. It's about your pleasure too. Don't feel like the whole thing is a performance. It's an experience.

I’m honestly going to try to accept that. It’ll take some serious quiet rumintaion, as my whole life’s been a performance. In addition to that, my only knowledge of sex has been porn. So yea I definitely have it anchored in my mind as a performance. And in my mind the woman’s holding the score card

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

I think we’ve actually made progress here. It’ll come down to accepting I can’t be perfect and finding an understanding or compatible partner. It won’t be easy for me. But I’m going to work towards it

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

Btw. I just want to mention that it’s supercool to be talking with everybody here. A lot of you are basically LPSG royalty. I’ve been a member for years, going through the forums from time to time. So i really feel like I’m talking with celebrities

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I’m honestly going to try to accept that. It’ll take some serious quiet rumintaion, as my whole life’s been a performance. In addition to that, my only knowledge of sex has been porn. So yea I definitely have it anchored in my mind as a performance. And in my mind the woman’s holding the score card

I understand why you have that view of the woman "holding the card", but it's not completely true. You are valuable as a sexual partner too. You can say "no" too.

It's gonna sound kinda fucked up, but start being a little more concerned with what You like and a little less concerned with what a potential partner *might* like. I'm not saying to be a selfish asshole, obviously.. it just seems like you're stuck on the idea that you may not be what you want to be in bed. Here's something no one admits: no one is *exactly who they want to be in the bedroom during mind blowing sex because the focus isn't on being someone/something specific. The focus is blurred and sweaty.

Sometimes after it's all said and done you come back to earth and think to yourself "who the fuck was I just now?!"

 

[693987]

You should be fine, so long as you communicate well, keep an open mind, and try not to let what's in your head overshadow reality. Most people have hang ups about something. It's how you deal with it that makes the difference. I like a very particular kind of sex. I tried to pursue a sexual relationship for a while with someone whose preferences were for a vastly different kind of sex. He wasn't bad, we just didn't mesh well in that aspect. For ladies who like slower, gentler sex I'm sure he's lovely.

Oh, also, being able to laugh in bed (or against the wall, in the shower, on the floor, whatever) is a good thing. Sometimes silly or weird things happen. Sometimes muscles cramp. Sometimes body fluids make noises during sex. It's good to be able to laugh

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

I understand why you have that view of the woman "holding the card", but it's not completely true. You are valuable as a sexual partner too. You can say "no" too.

It's gonna sound kinda fucked up, but start being a little more concerned with what You like and a little less concerned with what a potential partner *might* like. I'm not saying to be a selfish asshole, obviously.. it just seems like you're stuck on the idea that you may not be what you want to be in bed. Here's something no one admits: no one is *exactly who they want to be in the bedroom during mind blowing sex because the focus isn't on being someone/something specific. The focus is blurred and sweaty.

Sometimes after it's all said and done you come back to earth and think to yourself "who the fuck was I just now?!"

Well you actually just deduced another of my major issues. I never ever put myself first. I never think of myself. I always think in terms of how others are affected. If somebody owes me money, I feel guilty because I suspect they feel guilty for owning me money. And I empathize with them. It’s almost disgusting. Throughout my childhood i’d secretly sneak money INTO my moms purse. I’ve never even told anybody that before. I honestly don’t think I can change that about myself. I don’t think I’ll ever put my needs first, even if I should

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

You should be fine, so long as you communicate well, keep an open mind, and try not to let what's in your head overshadow reality. Most people have hang ups about something. It's how you deal with it that makes the difference. I like a very particular kind of sex. I tried to pursue a sexual relationship for a while with someone whose preferences were for a vastly different kind of sex. He wasn't bad, we just didn't mesh well in that aspect. For ladies who like slower, gentler sex I'm sure he's lovely.

Oh, also, being able to laugh in bed (or against the wall, in the shower, on the floor, whatever) is a good thing. Sometimes silly or weird things happen. Sometimes muscles cramp. Sometimes body fluids make noises during sex. It's good to be able to laugh

Oh I’m sure I’ll be making jokes. The more awkward the situation, the quicker the jokes come

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Well you actually just deduced another of my major issues. I never ever put myself first. I never think of myself. I always think in terms of how others are affected. If somebody owes me money, I feel guilty because I suspect they feel guilty for owning me money. And I empathize with them. It’s almost disgusting. Throughout my childhood i’d secretly sneak money INTO my moms purse. I’ve never even told anybody that before. I honestly don’t think I can change that about myself. I don’t think I’ll ever put my needs first, even if I should

You need to take some advice from @LaFemme and THROW YOURSELF A PARTY!!

Everyone wants to be an enjoyable sexual partner, but we all want to enjoy the sex ourselves too, right?

Btw.. sneaking cash into mom's purse is super fucking sweet. I'll keep your secret.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

You need to take some advice from @LaFemme and THROW YOURSELF A PARTY!!

Everyone wants to be an enjoyable sexual partner, but we all want to enjoy the sex ourselves too, right?

Btw.. sneaking cash into mom's purse is super fucking sweet. I'll keep your secret.

Haha.. thanks. I’m trusting you

 

[AlteredEgo]

The other day, I heard myself screaming as I neared climax, and only when I tried to hug him tighter and saw him flinch from my voice in his ear did I realize that insane noise was coming from me. I bit into his shoulder to keep from making him deaf. Finally, he growled back. I probably hurt him, first by yelling in his ear, then from biting too hard when I stifled myself. That's probably not ideal, but he's not going to hold it against me.

Worst case scenario? I FARTED in a dude's mouth. In his MOUTH! After a few seconds of his disgust and my mortification, we laughed hysterically, and he fell off the bed. We laughed some more. I'm laughing right now, and wishing him well wherever he is. I don't hold it against him that he enthusiastically blew into my butt, and he never held it against me that the result was...gross. He also never held it against me that I suggested a vibrator on his taint, and he turned out to absolutely hate it.

Horrifying things sometimes happen. They usually don't. But you have to just laugh when they do, or at least move along quickly, apologize when appropriate, and try another tack.

Anybody who likes you enough to accept your presence INSIDE her body, even just your tongue in her mouth, and then deliberately makes you feel badly about a misstep is telling you some very unflattering things about herself.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

The other day, I heard myself screaming as I neared climax, and only when I tried to hug him tighter and saw him flinch from my voice in his ear did I realize that insane noise was coming from me. I bit into his shoulder to keep from making him deaf. Finally, he growled back. I probably hurt him, first by yelling in his ear, then from biting too hard when I stifled myself. That's probably not ideal, but he's not going to hold it against me.

Worst case scenario? I FARTED in a dude's mouth. In his MOUTH! After a few seconds of his disgust and my mortification, we laughed hysterically, and he fell off the bed. We laughed some more. I'm laughing right now, and wishing him well wherever he is. I don't hold it against him that he enthusiastically blew into my butt, and he never held it against me that the result was...gross. He also never held it against me that I suggested a vibrator on his taint, and he turned out to absolutely hate it.

Horrifying things sometimes happen. They usually don't. But you have to just laugh when they do, or at least move along quickly, apologize when appropriate, and try another tack.

Anybody who likes you enough to accept your presence INSIDE her body, even just your tongue in her mouth, and then deliberately makes you feel badly about a misstep is telling you some very unflattering things about herself.

That’s another thing. I’ve never understood the tongue in the mouth thing. It really doesn’t seem like it’d be that great. But it’s obviously popular. I gotta see what all this hype is about. And I think I’ll forgo taint stimulation altogether