If You Are Sexually Attracted To Men, But Only Have Romantic Relationships With Women. Why?

[bigboaster]

Pretty straight forward. If you are the type that has girlfriends/wives but you are not interested in having a boyfriend. Just one night stands and hookups. Is there is any special reasoning for this?

I'm a very gay leaning bi myself but I am interested in both genders sexually and romantically. I'm curious about those of you who only are romantically inclined towards women.

 

[AllDixNeedLuv69]

i am a gay male but can give ideas why guys like guys but only with women--the thing is society makes it hard for us to be who we are--if you arent straight doing what they think you should be doing so the thought of people thinking they are bisexual or gay frightens them--in alot of peoples eyes if you are bisexual then youre really gay you just trying to make others think you like dick and pussy--
people say times have changed and they have to an extent--but it is still hard for us gay men to be who we are because afraid what people will do to us---

i can careless what people think of me--i came out at an early age and still put up with assholes picking on me its just that they picked on mebut i was able to be who i am

 

[dickthrobbing]

From time to time I just enjoy pure carnal man on man sex, two (or more ) just doing with each other that only men can do

 

[skeezer]

I just like to fuck around with guys, I don't even think about relationships because the act is purely physical for me. I have had relationships with men in my youth, but it was just about sex and not too many conversations. Just love have a romantic relationship with a woman.

 

[bigboaster]

I just like to fuck around with guys, I don't even think about relationships because the act is purely physical for me. I have had relationships with men in my youth, but it was just about sex and not too many conversations. Just love have a romantic relationship with a woman.

I see but I was wondering if you had a deeper insight into why this is the case? I'm well aware it might not be something you're thought too deeply about so it's okay if you don't have an answer for me. Lol

 

[T_Lurch]

The times have changed dramatically since I was a kid.

I'm in the rare situation where I'm about as appealing to women as having Captain Hook for a gynecologist, but I'm like catnip to certain men—but I've never been in a relationship with a man, only a woman.

Her arrangement with me was a freak occurrence which is a long story I won't go into.

If I were 19, 20 again I'd probably pursue a gay relationship and give it a try. I'd have a million times better chance at a gay club than at a regular one.

So in my case, it was more out of cowardice when I was young (my family would have disowned me had I announced I was bisexual or hooked up with a guy), than choice.

 

[WadWorshipper]

I don't know. Perhaps if I had the freedom to choose, it wouldn't be like that. I do appreciate a nice connection with the young men that I fuck, rather than just a fun time.....

 

[Lookinginconshy]

Sitting on the fence on this one. Brought up in a time when gay was looked upon very negatively, embarrassing and outcast. When younger never gave a though of a relationship with a guy and only thought of a gf turn wife. I guess imbedded social norms.

Now much older and seeming to like sex with men better, would like a steady man for a best friend with benefits but not sure I would live with him full time but do think could fall in love with him, maybe. It happened once before and resulted in my wife putting two and two together. I doubt I could ever marry a man. I am too old fashioned for going that far.

Still love my wife, feel an obligation to care for her. No intention of leaving her unless she tosses me out. I like the femininity of her. Like how she smells and looks. I think it deep seated love. We like doing. The. Same things etc.... BTW She knows I’m bi.

 

[deleted5199391]

Pretty straight forward. If you are the type that has girlfriends/wives but you are not interested in having a boyfriend. Just one night stands and hookups. Is there is any special reasoning for this?

I'm a very gay leaning bi myself but I am interested in both genders sexually and romantically. I'm curious about those of you who only are romantically inclined towards women.

That happens to me, i think it depends on social roles and stereotypes.
I have been with only 3guys , tho.

 

[TouchMeHere]

It's more convenient, meaning safer, to be married to a woman.

If you spend your whole life in a "gay friendly" city or a place known to be progressive and tolerant then it might not matter too much. But if you live out in the country, or in a conservative state/location, or if you have a conservative family, you will have more problems with people if you are in a same sex relationship. It might not mean the potential for violence, though it could, but in a conservative or rural location you would likely have problems socially or with employment and rental housing.

It's just more convenient, in my experience, and some of my experience has been to do with how terribly bad things can go if you're different or unacceptable.

So, I'm married to a woman... I could just as well be married to a man but being discreet about who I really am, being secretive, saves me a good bit of potential for real grief. I don't underestimate how many good people are in the world but I'm careful not to overestimate how many are not tolerant of difference and inclined to do something about it.

There's an old fashioned phrase for when a gay leaning man is married to a woman. They would say she's the "beard."

 

[playbiplay]

I wouldn't say it could never happen but I just haven't connected the same way emotionally with men as I do women. I don't mean there is less connection just...different. I could have a good buddy that I'm close to but it doesn't feel "romantic" even if there was sex happening. with sex that makes the experience seem more like a recreational activity.

But just like any recreational activity I prefer the company of a buddy or small group of buddies for hooking up. I don't go looking for random/one night stand things and it I like what I find I stick with it lol.

That said I'm not the type of bi guy that doesn't kiss or do body contact with men...I like it all with either men or ladies but because with men it is more like buddies having fun it has a more "carnal" vibe to it (it has been similar with ladies who were only FWB to be honest though with romantic partners the vibe is different). I don't equate any particular physical activity with romantic feelings even though romantic feelings can have an effect on how those activities feel I guess?

 

[bigboaster]

I wouldn't say it could never happen but I just haven't connected the same way emotionally with men as I do women. I don't mean there is less connection just...different. I could have a good buddy that I'm close to but it doesn't feel "romantic" even if there was sex happening. with sex that makes the experience seem more like a recreational activity.

But just like any recreational activity I prefer the company of a buddy or small group of buddies for hooking up. I don't go looking for random/one night stand things and it I like what I find I stick with it lol.

That said I'm not the type of bi guy that doesn't kiss or do body contact with men...I like it all with either men or ladies but because with men it is more like buddies having fun it has a more "carnal" vibe to it (it has been similar with ladies who were only FWB to be honest though with romantic partners the vibe is different). I don't equate any particular physical activity with romantic feelings even though romantic feelings can have an effect on how those activities feel I guess?

Thanks for the detailed reply.

 

[bigboaster]

It's more convenient, meaning safer, to be married to a woman.

If you spend your whole life in a "gay friendly" city or a place known to be progressive and tolerant then it might not matter too much. But if you live out in the country, or in a conservative state/location, or if you have a conservative family, you will have more problems with people if you are in a same sex relationship. It might not mean the potential for violence, though it could, but in a conservative or rural location you would likely have problems socially or with employment and rental housing.

It's just more convenient, in my experience, and some of my experience has been to do with how terribly bad things can go if you're different or unacceptable.

So, I'm married to a woman... I could just as well be married to a man but being discreet about who I really am, being secretive, saves me a good bit of potential for real grief. I don't underestimate how many good people are in the world but I'm careful not to overestimate how many are not tolerant of difference and inclined to do something about it.

There's an old fashioned phrase for when a gay leaning man is married to a woman. They would say she's the "beard."

Thanks. I'm understanding more and more from these various replies.

 

[18wheeler]

Well.... before I was married. Society. Scared me to death to be outed.

now that I’m married. My wife and kids.

 

[SeeTheDifference]

1) Boobs
2) facial hair
3) boobs

 

[bigboaster]

1) Boobs
2) facial hair
3) boobs

Well I do love boobs but I'm not sure that's particularly helpful. Hahaha

 

[deleted5199391]

Well I do love boobs but I'm not sure that's particularly helpful. Hahaha

Lol bro

 

[deleted10500801]

There's no such thing as romantic or platonic - they're just social concepts, heteronormative at that. Human relationships and bonding are way more complex and nuanced.

What I've found with all the bi men, even the most masculine, is that they don't fit into a gender box neatly and Bi men actually relate to women a lot better than either gay or straight identifying men. Probably because they see women as complex individuals rather than sexless dolls to play dress ups and tea parties with or hyper sexual bodies for self gratification.

I'm more into relationships with men, like deep fraternal bonds and even though I do enjoy sex with men, especially those I have a connection with, yet sexually I do love pussy more that little bit more.

 

[karatooga]

I want children one day. Not saying gay men can't, but it's a whole lot easier if you are with a woman for the long term.

 

[halcyondays]

Women usually require a romantic connection, e.g. date night, while men usually don't. Generally. In my experience.

I'm not married and am clear that I don't do exclusive relationships, but I do go out with women in advance of hooking up. This is much less common with male hookups.

Reference the sex study A Billion Wicked Thoughts. The male brain has one switch for sex which is physical attraction. The female brain has two switches which are physical attraction and an emotional connection.

In short women need to be wooed men don't.

There are exceptions. I have no problem going out with or romantically wooing a guy who needs it. Nor do I have a problem with women who just need to hook up without being wooed.

That's why.