I have a very, very long and complicated, deep history with circumcision. I had never been squeamish about it, although I can’t bear to watch anything with blood in it (always been strongly adverse to blood), and actually did it myself. From the moment I read as a teenager that Abraham circumcised himself, it was immovably lodged in my head I could, should, and will do it myself. It became somewhat inevitable.
I also have a very complicated history with homosexuality, and a very complicated history with Judaism. The latter was severely affected by the former and vice versa. I don’t know where the idea of circumcision came from, I just knew like I just knew I was gay and just knew what my religion is. It’s not for here why and how each of things came to be personally acknowledged and worked out where they fit in my life, but it’s all and always a complicated journey for everyone.
It took me a long time to get around to each of those things, acknowledging them was the first issue, and my appointment with the Beit Din is looming close.
Clearly I don’t need to get circumcised again, I did a pretty thorough job first time around, although in all honesty despite all I’ve just said I actually would. The more you go through the Jprep process the more you’ll come to understand why circumcision is important. I was lucky as it was never an issue, and actually despite my circumcision history it really isn’t something I think about when in a Jewish environment.
You said you’re in Birmingham, I guess you’re not converting to Reform as there’s no Reform shul there. In Reform, which I am, there is an obligation for b’rit milah (although I know of two uncut Jews who are friends, it’s kept hush though generally) but if already cut you can either get a doctor’s note or do the hafatat dam b’rit process which is what I opted for without question. I’m Reform in ideology and conservative in practice.
if you’re converting to Orthodox, then that’s already a huge effort to do it as the process is long and involved and that’s just to start. If you chose Orthodox, then I wouldn’t have thought that circumcision would have been the greatest stumbling block as there’s far bigger things ideologically to get around and other practices which are less appealing - well from my perspective anyway.
if you’re doing Masorti, then like Orthodox it’s a non negotiable and it’ll just have to happen. In both cases it waits fairly late, I know a guy converting to Orthodox Judaism and he is in year 5 of 7, he’s not getting circumcised for at least 18-24 months yet, it comes at the end when you get your Hebrew name.
if Liberal, and you’re at the start of the process, you’ll learn more as you go along but circumcision is not required, as the Liberal view of halachah is very different (ie, don’t really follow it). So you could decide later on you don’t want to do it, or one day decide you do. I know several uncuts Liberals.
The labels Reform and Conservative mean very different things in the UK to the US, they’re part of the same “progressive family” of Judaism but Reform in the US (and in Israel) is much closer to that of Liberal in Britain. Reform in the UK has it’s roots in the argument between Bevis Marks and my synagogue West London.
Anyway, back to the topic and this is LPSG , you may find as you progress your understanding of what circumcision means changes both through study, the community and going through several Torah cycles. The whole Torah tells you why each of the mitzvot individually are important, if you’re converting for your own sake and for religious reasons rather than cultural, then understanding of the value of the convenant (especially in a non- Liberal perspective) will come to mean a lot more than you initially think. The covenant is a two way deal with God, totally non negotiable on either side, if you want to be a member of the tribe then you have to accept the Covenant. Sorry if that sounds hard, but that’s clearly what the score is from the outset. A degree of anxiety about circumcision is perhaps normal - I’m sorry, I’ve just never experienced it personally but that’s just due to my own circumstances, which I think is tied into the whole Jewish thing from the start - but the reason for it comes to override everything else.
A lot changes in the course of a couple of years and you can’t predict now what you’ll think then. As b’rit milah doesn’t happen until right toward the end, and you may find that your awareness and mindset changes before then.
I know you said you’re fine with what circumcision is but worried about standing out. That’s the point I’ve been making... as a Jew, even a progressive one, you’re going to stand out because living a Jewish life isn’t the same as a secular one. I observe Shabbat, there’s a mezuzah on my door, I keep kosher so I don’t eat certain things with even my Jewish friends and am choosy in what I drink. Being Jewish means you’ll have to get used to standing out, both with gentiles and other Jews in the community who have different practices, levels of observance and history. Standing out, like the Covenant, is also part of what you sign up for.
Hope that helps a bit, happy to take the conversation into more depth and more specific in a more private environment like pm, text, email or phone.
L’shalom
Very interesting!
