Before I get going, this is NOT an erotic story, or work of fiction. Although it may sound like a work of calculated prose, this happened to me a couple of days ago and I am sharing in the hope of getting genuine advice on what to do. (I know what the correct way to deal with this is, but I’d like to see if any other guys would have the same moral dilemma when faced with this situation).
Additionally, if this isn’t the correct thread to post on, please suggest a suitable alternative.
Strap in….
A bit of background: I (36M) have been with my husband (41M- let’s call him Paul) for 15 years, married for 8. We are happy together, successful and have a good sex life. Now, although I enjoy online fun with other guys (chat, pic/vid swap, live cam) my partner doesn’t. We’ve discussed it, but it’s not his thing, which is fine. I however, have been unfaithful in the past (but not for over 10 years). I state this only to set the scene for the moral dilemma I now face.
Last weekend, we visited his family in the north of England for a few nights to celebrate various birthdays- Paul’s, his father’s and his nephew’s who turned 18 last Wednesday (let’s call him Jake). I have known Jake since he was 3 and have watched him grow up into the polite, talented & well-mannered young man he is today. Over the years we have had regular updates on his athleticism (being part of the college football, volleyball and track teams), his academic achievements (top of the class in maths and science and wanting to study architecture), and how he has become a very confident and polite young man. I have only ever known him to have one relationship with a girl from college which ended last summer when she went travelling. His sexuality has never been questioned or discussed- it has never had to be. However, now he is 18, and since I haven’t seen him for nearly 2 years, the change in him is striking.
Upon arrival on Friday afternoon, he greeted us at the door, clothed in a T-shirt and shorts, evidently just back from one of his training sessions. He gave Paul and I a hug and said he was just jumping in the shower and would be down to join us shortly. Whilst I brought the bags from the car, Paul went into the lounge and greeted the rest of his family. As I closed the front door behind me, I looked up the stairs and saw Jake stood at the top, looking down at me, wearing just a towel. I wanted to divert my gaze, but he stood there, staring at me, one hand on his hip, the other arm extended above his head with his hand resting on the wall beside him. He winked at me and turned to go into the bathroom for his shower.
I felt an overwhelming warmth and a thickening in my jeans. Despite being Paul’s nephew, he is, in essence, a handsome, athletic young man, and no longer the boy I’ve spent years watching grow up. And he was flirting with me- I was honestly dumbfounded, as well as aroused and more than a little curious.
The rest of the weekend passed without further incident, except for Jake’s occasional glances and maintained eye contact, which I both dreaded and relished.
Whilst discussing various topics over lunch with the family on Sunday afternoon, the subject of social media arose. Whilst neither Paul nor I have any social media, I do have a “secret” Snapchat account that I regularly use to trade pics & vids and cam with guys online. It’s my porn; and no, Paul doesn’t know I use it. It isn’t linked to any of my personal info, it contain my name and isn’t accessible to my phone contacts. The username is sexual- one that suggests the size and thickness of my manhood.
Whilst showing Jake some pictures on my phone of a house we recently bought to renovate (remember his interest in architecture?), a selfie popped up with an obvious Snapchat filter applied. To be clear, this wasn’t a nude, and had no sexual connotations attached. It was, simply, a filtered selfie. However, he looked at me, square in the eye, and with a smirk said “I didn’t think you had Snapchat..?” I brushed it off and said it was sent to me by someone else as I liked the picture.
As we were leaving and goodbyes were being said, he gave me a hug (which lasted a second too long) and told me to check my phone. Via WhatsApp, he’d sent me his Snapchat account info with a message attached which simply said “Add me” with a wink emoji.
My dilemma: do I add him, or not?
Obviously the moral, professional husband in me is screaming DON’T ADD HIM: there’s only one reason he wants to contact me on Snapchat. But, the highly sexed, gay man in me is curious and wants to see more of this handsome, muscled, 18 year old lad…
What would you guys do? All advice and suggestions, whichever side you fall on, is welcomed.
