Moral Dilemma. NOT fiction!

[GayBootyLover69]

Agreed... the whole thing is a bit odd/preditory. Being an experienced adult is knowing a situation like this should be avoided.. and not made much worse

THANK YOU!!!!!! Because when it all blows the fuck up, they will not be able to help.


This. How are you boy having flashbacks of him as a much younger kid? It's creepy.

thank fucking god there are people like you two who agree with me

knowing how pushy and crass some people on this site can be, i was nervous that i would face backlash for saying something that really ***should*** just be common sense lol

 

[Infernal]

Are you thinking with your dick or your brain? There are a couple of ways this could go... Your husband could find out and it could damage your relationship as well as his with the young man. Other family members could find out and it could cause a huge scandal. You might have a good time and then he might blow it up because he's 18 and being ruled by his hormones. You might have a one-time thing and it might not ever be more than that. The first three are the most likely to happen.

The best advice I can give is - you don't fuck people you work with, and you don't fuck your husband's nephew. It's just ugly no matter how hot he may be.

 

[Almost40]

I go with "get into it"

but like the cave man I am, get into it the old way

sex dating apps store too.much data and leave traces of your on line activity.

do it the harmless way, in person

no texting, no proof

and make him squeal...

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

I thought I’d give you guys a quick update.. if, of course, you’re at all interested!

Thanks for the responses and PMs- I’ve kept an eager eye on the thread since I posted and on the whole, the advice has been constructive. However (as I guess I should’ve expected), I’ve had some quiet absurd and quite frankly abusive vitriol thrown my way in response. To those guys who took the time out of their day to be blatantly hateful, in the legendary words of the Jinkx Monsoon: it’s all “water off a duck’s back…”

So, I DID add Jake, albeit under a fake account name. He’s been away with college until last weekend so there hasn’t been much interaction. To clarify, I told him he popped up on QuickAdd and that we have people in common on Snapchat.

Un/fortunately (depending on which side of the fence you fall), this got me nowhere, as after a few brief conversations, he said he didn’t know me (quite rightly), and was uncomfortable chatting to a random guy online. He then apologised and removed me. At first, I was annoyed but then thought that maybe he was being sensible in his assertiveness: I actually felt quite proud of him. I drew a line under it, and decided to move on.

I must add that since he came back from his trip, my husband and I have seen him (and the family) at a meal last Sunday. We were at a restaurant, so no chance of him surprising me in just a towel this time! Him and I chatted congenially about his trip, his plans for the summer and he even showed me pictures of him and his college friends living their best life whilst abroad. All very civilised.

However (and here’s the kicker), as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, whilst embracing, he asked me (quietly enough so no-one else would hear), why I hadn’t added him on Snapchat yet… FFS!! I thought I’d bid farewell to this situation; but no, here he is again, bating me into adding him. I mumbled a lame response, made my excuses and left.

So in actual fact, when I said this was an “update”, I’m afraid I’m in no better position than before - I suppose I’m feeling like I’m right back at the start!

I understand this situation is contentious and by posting on a public forum I expect honest feedback, advice and opinions, but this time, please keep the hate to yourselves.

 

[deepthroatLVR]

I thought I’d give you guys a quick update.. if, of course, you’re at all interested!

Thanks for the responses and PMs- I’ve kept an eager eye on the thread since I posted and on the whole, the advice has been constructive. However (as I guess I should’ve expected), I’ve had some quiet absurd and quite frankly abusive vitriol thrown my way in response. To those guys who took the time out of their day to be blatantly hateful, in the legendary words of the Jinkx Monsoon: it’s all “water off a duck’s back…”

So, I DID add Jake, albeit under a fake account name. He’s been away with college until last weekend so there hasn’t been much interaction. To clarify, I told him he popped up on QuickAdd and that we have people in common on Snapchat.

Un/fortunately (depending on which side of the fence you fall), this got me nowhere, as after a few brief conversations, he said he didn’t know me (quite rightly), and was uncomfortable chatting to a random guy online. He then apologised and removed me. At first, I was annoyed but then thought that maybe he was being sensible in his assertiveness: I actually felt quite proud of him. I drew a line under it, and decided to move on.

I must add that since he came back from his trip, my husband and I have seen him (and the family) at a meal last Sunday. We were at a restaurant, so no chance of him surprising me in just a towel this time! Him and I chatted congenially about his trip, his plans for the summer and he even showed me pictures of him and his college friends living their best life whilst abroad. All very civilised.

However (and here’s the kicker), as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, whilst embracing, he asked me (quietly enough so no-one else would hear), why I hadn’t added him on Snapchat yet… FFS!! I thought I’d bid farewell to this situation; but no, here he is again, bating me into adding him. I mumbled a lame response, made my excuses and left.

So in actual fact, when I said this was an “update”, I’m afraid I’m in no better position than before - I suppose I’m feeling like I’m right back at the start!

I understand this situation is contentious and by posting on a public forum I expect honest feedback, advice and opinions, but this time, please keep the hate to yourselves.

So this is where you say you are very flattered... but are happily married and if he was another 20 years older, he would stand a chance...

 

[dana2]

However (and here’s the kicker), as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, whilst embracing, he asked me (quietly enough so no-one else would hear), why I hadn’t added him on Snapchat yet… FFS!! I thought I’d bid farewell to this situation; but no, here he is again, bating me into adding him. I mumbled a lame response, made my excuses and left.

So in actual fact, when I said this was an “update”, I’m afraid I’m in no better position than before - I suppose I’m feeling like I’m right back at the start!

I understand this situation is contentious and by posting on a public forum I expect honest feedback, advice and opinions, but this time, please keep the hate to yourselves.

Seems to me there could be three things going on here:

1) The Snapchat request was entirely innocent. The be honest I don't use Snapchat and know nothing about it. Is it like Instagram or something? His request could be innocent

2) The request was because he feels attracted to you and wants to taste your cock

3) Most likely somewhere in-between 1 and 2

I personally have not been in a similar situation and am generally not attracted to men under 24 so can't advise. It's entirely possible that possibility 1 is the most likely and that the rest is your imagination. My guess is that it's mostly 1 with a little bit of 2 mixed in.

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

Seems to me there could be three things going on here:

1) The Snapchat request was entirely innocent. The be honest I don't use Snapchat and know nothing about it. Is it like Instagram or something? His request could be innocent

2) The request was because he feels attracted to you and wants to taste your cock

3) Most likely somewhere in-between 1 and 2

I personally have not been in a similar situation and am generally not attracted to men under 24 so can't advise. It's entirely possible that possibility 1 is the most likely and that the rest is your imagination. My guess is that it's mostly 1 with a little bit of 2 mixed in.

There’s definitely a subtext to his request. From when he intentionally stood at the top of the stairs in just a towel, flexing and winking at me, to when I saw a look of curiosity cross his face when he realised I had a (secret) Snapchat account, then his subsequent requests to add him, I can’t help but think there’s a motive for it all..

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

So this is where you say you are very flattered... but are happily married and if he was another 20 years older, he would stand a chance...

So it’s just the age difference between two consenting adults that you consider a concern?

EDIT: this is a genuine question, and not a flippant, facetious remark

 

[deepthroatLVR]

So it’s just the age difference between two consenting adults that you consider a concern?

EDIT: this is a genuine question, and not a flippant, facetious remark

not the difference, its more that he has en excuse (hormones) for for not making rational decisions and looking at teh bigger picture. You as an adult shouldnt be encouraging it really, what do you think would happen if your husband/family found out you were encouraging him?

 

[Johnnie89]

I thought I’d give you guys a quick update.. if, of course, you’re at all interested!

Thanks for the responses and PMs- I’ve kept an eager eye on the thread since I posted and on the whole, the advice has been constructive. However (as I guess I should’ve expected), I’ve had some quiet absurd and quite frankly abusive vitriol thrown my way in response. To those guys who took the time out of their day to be blatantly hateful, in the legendary words of the Jinkx Monsoon: it’s all “water off a duck’s back…”

So, I DID add Jake, albeit under a fake account name. He’s been away with college until last weekend so there hasn’t been much interaction. To clarify, I told him he popped up on QuickAdd and that we have people in common on Snapchat.

Un/fortunately (depending on which side of the fence you fall), this got me nowhere, as after a few brief conversations, he said he didn’t know me (quite rightly), and was uncomfortable chatting to a random guy online. He then apologised and removed me. At first, I was annoyed but then thought that maybe he was being sensible in his assertiveness: I actually felt quite proud of him. I drew a line under it, and decided to move on.

I must add that since he came back from his trip, my husband and I have seen him (and the family) at a meal last Sunday. We were at a restaurant, so no chance of him surprising me in just a towel this time! Him and I chatted congenially about his trip, his plans for the summer and he even showed me pictures of him and his college friends living their best life whilst abroad. All very civilised.

However (and here’s the kicker), as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, whilst embracing, he asked me (quietly enough so no-one else would hear), why I hadn’t added him on Snapchat yet… FFS!! I thought I’d bid farewell to this situation; but no, here he is again, bating me into adding him. I mumbled a lame response, made my excuses and left.

So in actual fact, when I said this was an “update”, I’m afraid I’m in no better position than before - I suppose I’m feeling like I’m right back at the start!

I understand this situation is contentious and by posting on a public forum I expect honest feedback, advice and opinions, but this time, please keep the hate to yourselves.

Thanks for the update OP!

I support you and look forward to updates - if any to come. Sorry to hear you got some hate though. You asked for advice/suggestions on what we would do. There is no need for people to take it to that level.

Big hugs!

 

[Sexb1150]

You as an adult shouldnt be encouraging it really, what do you think would happen if your husband/family found out you were encouraging him?

Or actually engaged in a sexual relationship with him? It coughs blow up the whole family. I'm not understanding how this isn't a major concern.

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

Thanks for the update OP!

I support you and look forward to updates - if any to come. Sorry to hear you got some hate though. You asked for advice/suggestions on what we would do. There is no need for people to take it to that level.

Big hugs!

Thanks man. Appreciate it

 

[Curious65]

Before I get going, this is NOT an erotic story, or work of fiction. Although it may sound like a work of calculated prose, this happened to me a couple of days ago and I am sharing in the hope of getting genuine advice on what to do. (I know what the correct way to deal with this is, but I’d like to see if any other guys would have the same moral dilemma when faced with this situation).

Additionally, if this isn’t the correct thread to post on, please suggest a suitable alternative.

Strap in….

A bit of background: I (36M) have been with my husband (41M- let’s call him Paul) for 15 years, married for 8. We are happy together, successful and have a good sex life. Now, although I enjoy online fun with other guys (chat, pic/vid swap, live cam) my partner doesn’t. We’ve discussed it, but it’s not his thing, which is fine. I however, have been unfaithful in the past (but not for over 10 years). I state this only to set the scene for the moral dilemma I now face.

Last weekend, we visited his family in the north of England for a few nights to celebrate various birthdays- Paul’s, his father’s and his nephew’s who turned 18 last Wednesday (let’s call him Jake). I have known Jake since he was 3 and have watched him grow up into the polite, talented & well-mannered young man he is today. Over the years we have had regular updates on his athleticism (being part of the college football, volleyball and track teams), his academic achievements (top of the class in maths and science and wanting to study architecture), and how he has become a very confident and polite young man. I have only ever known him to have one relationship with a girl from college which ended last summer when she went travelling. His sexuality has never been questioned or discussed- it has never had to be. However, now he is 18, and since I haven’t seen him for nearly 2 years, the change in him is striking.

Upon arrival on Friday afternoon, he greeted us at the door, clothed in a T-shirt and shorts, evidently just back from one of his training sessions. He gave Paul and I a hug and said he was just jumping in the shower and would be down to join us shortly. Whilst I brought the bags from the car, Paul went into the lounge and greeted the rest of his family. As I closed the front door behind me, I looked up the stairs and saw Jake stood at the top, looking down at me, wearing just a towel. I wanted to divert my gaze, but he stood there, staring at me, one hand on his hip, the other arm extended above his head with his hand resting on the wall beside him. He winked at me and turned to go into the bathroom for his shower.

I felt an overwhelming warmth and a thickening in my jeans. Despite being Paul’s nephew, he is, in essence, a handsome, athletic young man, and no longer the boy I’ve spent years watching grow up. And he was flirting with me- I was honestly dumbfounded, as well as aroused and more than a little curious.

The rest of the weekend passed without further incident, except for Jake’s occasional glances and maintained eye contact, which I both dreaded and relished.

Whilst discussing various topics over lunch with the family on Sunday afternoon, the subject of social media arose. Whilst neither Paul nor I have any social media, I do have a “secret” Snapchat account that I regularly use to trade pics & vids and cam with guys online. It’s my porn; and no, Paul doesn’t know I use it. It isn’t linked to any of my personal info, it contain my name and isn’t accessible to my phone contacts. The username is sexual- one that suggests the size and thickness of my manhood.

Whilst showing Jake some pictures on my phone of a house we recently bought to renovate (remember his interest in architecture?), a selfie popped up with an obvious Snapchat filter applied. To be clear, this wasn’t a nude, and had no sexual connotations attached. It was, simply, a filtered selfie. However, he looked at me, square in the eye, and with a smirk said “I didn’t think you had Snapchat..?” I brushed it off and said it was sent to me by someone else as I liked the picture.

As we were leaving and goodbyes were being said, he gave me a hug (which lasted a second too long) and told me to check my phone. Via WhatsApp, he’d sent me his Snapchat account info with a message attached which simply said “Add me” with a wink emoji.

My dilemma: do I add him, or not?

Obviously the moral, professional husband in me is screaming DON’T ADD HIM: there’s only one reason he wants to contact me on Snapchat. But, the highly sexed, gay man in me is curious and wants to see more of this handsome, muscled, 18 year old lad…

What would you guys do? All advice and suggestions, whichever side you fall on, is welcomed.

My initial take on this is that he likely sees you as a safe person to explore his sexuality, which you cannot do. Perhaps ask him if he had any questions about the relationship you have with your husband or some such thing to see if he opens up. As an 18 year old athletic young man he is ruled by his cock - you as the mature and I imagine respected member of that family have to curb your urge as difficult as that may be.

Just my two cents.

 

[body4body]

this needed a trigger warning

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

this needed a trigger warning

Why?!

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

My initial take on this is that he likely sees you as a safe person to explore his sexuality, which you cannot do. Perhaps ask him if he had any questions about the relationship you have with your husband or some such thing to see if he opens up. As an 18 year old athletic young man he is ruled by his cock - you as the mature and I imagine respected member of that family have to curb your urge as difficult as that may be.

Just my two cents.

If I honestly thought it was a case of him being curious about his sexuality, I wouldn’t even have posted this thread.. He could explore his feelings and impulses with his college mates or guys his age online, but, as far as I’m aware, he hasn’t. Yes, maybe I am flattered by his approaches, as I am by your assumption that I’m a “respected member of the family” ! But again, as always, thanks for your opinion

 

[Sexb1150]

Why?!

I never said that. You may have quoted the wrong person.

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

this needed a trigger warning

Why?

 

[Thick_uncutUK]

I never said that. You may have quoted the wrong person.

How strange.. it wasn’t you who said it! Apologies

 

[accidenttourist]

I understand this situation is contentious and by posting on a public forum I expect honest feedback, advice and opinions, but this time, please keep the hate to yourselves.

I was also shocked by the level of judgement and condescension on this thread.
"Who am I to judge?"