I always feel the word "rape" is misused when describing this type of female fantasy. A fantasy that would follow the constructs of an actual rape is not common as EA has stated. The fantasy version isn't as violent or life threatening, life changing. I don't know too many women who would like to have a knife to their throat or gun to their head as they are forced to submit to sex, sodomy, by some physically unappealing psycho as he beats her up and threatens her life.
The fantasy is that of being taken, overpowered, by a man they find attractive. Not being punched in the face and told, "I'll cut your fucking throat if you don't do as I say cunt." The fantasy is safer than that. It's a deep desire/lust that they've been denying but secretly want and the vehicle is force, masculine dominance.
An actual rape is ugly, violent, and destroys it's victim. Sometimes for a lifetime. This is a common fantasy for women? I think not.
The fantasy can be found on the covers of a lot of women's romance novels. It's a picture of a woman with her breast partially exposed to a shirtless muscular handsome man as she is both fighting him off and submitting. She is turning away in denial, her arms trying to force herself from his powerful hold, yet her body also indicates submission. She is both denying him and wanting him in the same moment. If you look at the picture you see her exposed skin, her neck open to his mouth, kiss, will, yet the rest of her is fighting him off. It's about power, lust, and a woman surrendering to it. It's beauty and the beast. That's the fantasy, not rape.
Sorry, "rape" is the wrong word. Rape is never pleasurable. Only a woman sick in her own mind would want to be raped.
The girl I'm dating has a rape fantasy that she wants me to act out (tonight, actually). Is this a relatively common thing? I was pretty surprised by her request. Do you have a similar fantasy?
I wonder how it went? I've never considered rape play as a fun part of sex. I'm not a high anxiety/thrill type person. Also not into anything threatening or painful.
Uhm, when I was sexually assaulted it wasn't "violent". I wasn't hit, or threatened with a weapon of any sort. So I think your definition is a bit off... I also wasn't "destroyed". Perhaps this was because the rape was mixed in with an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that it took me almost two years to get out of. That doesn't make what I experienced any less valid.
With that being said, then a lot of people in the BDSM world must be "sick in their own mind". I'm not really going to elaborate further than that, because of LPSG's rules/Terms of service and I don't want to get my wrist smacked. Things are broader than your personal definition of what they might be.
Me neither. I was really fond of my rapist before he attacked me. He was very attractive. We were dating. He was pretty stupid, but he was nice, funny, and easy to talk with. There were some red flags, but I was too inexperienced to see them. While he raped me, it only hurt when I resisted. Once I just let him do as he pleased, he was very gentle, and he told me I was beautiful, and that he would always take care of me. I just lay stiff and still and asked him repeatedly to stop, which he did not do until he jizzed on me.
Ever since, there are certain elements of the rape that excite me, which is a fact that used to be very upsetting, but now isn't.
I can't remember a time when I didn't fantasize about being kidnapped. There is more to it than that, but some of my more violent fantasies start there. When I was kidnapped, it wasn't even remotely arousing. I was terrified the whole time and escaped by stabbing my assailant with something he didn't realize was a weapon. My fantasies are nothing like that. In my fantasies I am out classed physically and mentally, and I don't ever escape.
My rapist was gentle, attractive and said nice things to me the whole time. It was still horrifying, damaging, and rape. While I have felt frustrated, I have never felt destroyed, though in the aftermath, it impacted my fantasy life. While no elements of my kidnapping excite me, the idea of kidnapping still does. MG's igonrance and judgemental rant surprise me as much as certain violent forms of play have thrilled me.
By the way, this is not a wholly uncommon thing with people who have been raped, AND since I have made a significant portion of my money listening to people's fantasies, I'm in a pretty decent position to know what kinds of things come up a lot.
Didn't really go as planned. I should mention that non-consensual type scenes (in porn) are a turn off to me, so it was tough for me to "get into character." I hadn't really factored that into the equation. Anyway, after I told her I told her that, she decided "rape" was the wrong word--"aggressive" was better. I can totally do that.
We had amazing sex after that. My lesson for the day? Role playing takes 2, and it's much better when both parties are into the same kind of kinky. Also, I'm not really into rape.
I also happen to think knives and blood are hot. I've had a short, selective list of people who I have allowed to make me bleed with needles and various blade/edged implements.
Uhm, when I was sexually assaulted it wasn't "violent". I wasn't hit, or threatened with a weapon of any sort. So I think your definition is a bit off... I also wasn't "destroyed". Perhaps this was because the rape was mixed in with an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that it took me almost two years to get out of. That doesn't make what I experienced any less valid.
With that being said, then a lot of people in the BDSM world must be "sick in their own mind". I'm not really going to elaborate further than that, because of LPSG's rules/Terms of service and I don't want to get my wrist smacked. Things are broader than your personal definition of what they might be.
Me neither. I was really fond of my rapist before he attacked me. He was very attractive. We were dating. He was pretty stupid, but he was nice, funny, and easy to talk with. There were some red flags, but I was too inexperienced to see them. While he raped me, it only hurt when I resisted. Once I just let him do as he pleased, he was very gentle, and he told me I was beautiful, and that he would always take care of me. I just lay stiff and still and asked him repeatedly to stop, which he did not do until he jizzed on me.
Ever since, there are certain elements of the rape that excite me, which is a fact that used to be very upsetting, but now isn't.
I can't remember a time when I didn't fantasize about being kidnapped. There is more to it than that, but some of my more violent fantasies start there. When I was kidnapped, it wasn't even remotely arousing. I was terrified the whole time and escaped by stabbing my assailant with something he didn't realize was a weapon. My fantasies are nothing like that. In my fantasies I am out classed physically and mentally, and I don't ever escape.
My rapist was gentle, attractive and said nice things to me the whole time. It was still horrifying, damaging, and rape. While I have felt frustrated, I have never felt destroyed, though in the aftermath, it impacted my fantasy life. While no elements of my kidnapping excite me, the idea of kidnapping still does. MG's igonrance and judgemental rant surprise me as much as certain violent forms of play have thrilled me.
By the way, this is not a wholly uncommon thing with people who have been raped, AND since I have made a significant portion of my money listening to people's fantasies, I'm in a pretty decent position to know what kinds of things come up a lot.
To talk more about the original topic some, I fantasize about a higher risk element than some others might. I also happen to think knives and blood are hot. I've had a short, selective list of people who I have allowed to make me bleed with needles and various blade/edged implements.
Mercurygirl, there isn't one true way for anyone. So don't you fucking dare tell me that what I experienced was less valid, just because I was able to cope with it. And no, I'm not trying to say that those into BDSM are equivalent with rape victims. Just that there are plenty of people IN the BDSM community who find rape fantasies appealing. Please, do actually read what I write if you're going to respond to it so indignantly.
Of course you're entitled to your opinion, but your OPINION doesn't = automatically right, everyone else is wrong. Neither AE or I even remotely touched on your little rant about "I refuse to adhere to this new brand of PC stupid bullshit that would make everyone and everything acceptable as you seem to believe. Not everything is OK and not everyone gets a fucking trophy." We didn't say a damned thing about that.
Learn to freaking read. Yes, I was sexually assaulted in the past. Yes, it was shitty. Yes, I got over it. Yes, rape fantasies still appeal to me. No, I don't get excited thinking about the time I was actually sexually assaulted.
I never said being raped was a walk in the park, good grief. You seemed to only cherry pick one word out of ten that I wrote.
Everyone has their own kinks. So whatever floats whomever's boat. Not my place to say someone's kink is wrong.
Damn. Just damn.