Rape fantasy

[flynn1]

The girl I'm dating has a rape fantasy that she wants me to act out (tonight, actually). Is this a relatively common thing? I was pretty surprised by her request. Do you have a similar fantasy?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Relatively common. I have a kidnapping fantasy myself even though I have been kidnapped for real and it was scary. I couldn't tell you why.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Yeah, I'd say it's not something most people are into, but there is a significant population of people that are.

My personal 'rape fantasy', is that a man tries to get at me, but fails to realize I'm a pretty tough bitch, and he ends up on the receiving end of the encounter. I think I'll leave that a fantasy. It's one of those ones that's just better left in the mental.

I hope all went well for you two. Happy humping.

 

[EllieP]

I've never had a rape fantasy, but I kind of like being dominated a bit. Not in a BDSM way, just in a manly fashion kind of way.

 

[Mercurygirl]

I always feel the word "rape" is misused when describing this type of female fantasy. A fantasy that would follow the constructs of an actual rape is not common as EA has stated. The fantasy version isn't as violent or life threatening, life changing. I don't know too many women who would like to have a knife to their throat or gun to their head as they are forced to submit to sex, sodomy, by some physically unappealing psycho as he beats her up and threatens her life.

The fantasy is that of being taken, overpowered, by a man they find attractive. Not being punched in the face and told, "I'll cut your fucking throat if you don't do as I say cunt." The fantasy is safer than that. It's a deep desire/lust that they've been denying but secretly want and the vehicle is force, masculine dominance.

An actual rape is ugly, violent, and destroys it's victim. Sometimes for a lifetime. This is a common fantasy for women? I think not.

The fantasy can be found on the covers of a lot of women's romance novels. It's a picture of a woman with her breast partially exposed to a shirtless muscular handsome man as she is both fighting him off and submitting. She is turning away in denial, her arms trying to force herself from his powerful hold, yet her body also indicates submission. She is both denying him and wanting him in the same moment. If you look at the picture you see her exposed skin, her neck open to his mouth, kiss, will, yet the rest of her is fighting him off. It's about power, lust, and a woman surrendering to it. It's beauty and the beast. That's the fantasy, not rape.

Sorry, "rape" is the wrong word. Rape is never pleasurable. Only a woman sick in her own mind would want to be raped.

 

[693987]

I always feel the word "rape" is misused when describing this type of female fantasy. A fantasy that would follow the constructs of an actual rape is not common as EA has stated. The fantasy version isn't as violent or life threatening, life changing. I don't know too many women who would like to have a knife to their throat or gun to their head as they are forced to submit to sex, sodomy, by some physically unappealing psycho as he beats her up and threatens her life.

The fantasy is that of being taken, overpowered, by a man they find attractive. Not being punched in the face and told, "I'll cut your fucking throat if you don't do as I say cunt." The fantasy is safer than that. It's a deep desire/lust that they've been denying but secretly want and the vehicle is force, masculine dominance.

An actual rape is ugly, violent, and destroys it's victim. Sometimes for a lifetime. This is a common fantasy for women? I think not.

The fantasy can be found on the covers of a lot of women's romance novels. It's a picture of a woman with her breast partially exposed to a shirtless muscular handsome man as she is both fighting him off and submitting. She is turning away in denial, her arms trying to force herself from his powerful hold, yet her body also indicates submission. She is both denying him and wanting him in the same moment. If you look at the picture you see her exposed skin, her neck open to his mouth, kiss, will, yet the rest of her is fighting him off. It's about power, lust, and a woman surrendering to it. It's beauty and the beast. That's the fantasy, not rape.

Sorry, "rape" is the wrong word. Rape is never pleasurable. Only a woman sick in her own mind would want to be raped.

Uhm, when I was sexually assaulted it wasn't "violent". I wasn't hit, or threatened with a weapon of any sort. So I think your definition is a bit off... I also wasn't "destroyed". Perhaps this was because the rape was mixed in with an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that it took me almost two years to get out of. That doesn't make what I experienced any less valid.

With that being said, then a lot of people in the BDSM world must be "sick in their own mind". I'm not really going to elaborate further than that, because of LPSG's rules/Terms of service and I don't want to get my wrist smacked. Things are broader than your personal definition of what they might be.

 

[latinabella]

The girl I'm dating has a rape fantasy that she wants me to act out (tonight, actually). Is this a relatively common thing? I was pretty surprised by her request. Do you have a similar fantasy?

No I dont have that kind of fantasy. I do love when he dominates me and take charge and kind of do what ever he likes with me but not in a rape-fantasy kind of way. And I do like to dominate him.

 

[Betty_Cocker]

I wonder how it went? I've never considered rape play as a fun part of sex. I'm not a high anxiety/thrill type person. Also not into anything threatening or painful.

 

[flynn1]

I wonder how it went? I've never considered rape play as a fun part of sex. I'm not a high anxiety/thrill type person. Also not into anything threatening or painful.

Didn't really go as planned. I should mention that non-consensual type scenes (in porn) are a turn off to me, so it was tough for me to "get into character." I hadn't really factored that into the equation. Anyway, after I told her I told her that, she decided "rape" was the wrong word--"aggressive" was better. I can totally do that.

We had amazing sex after that. My lesson for the day? Role playing takes 2, and it's much better when both parties are into the same kind of kinky. Also, I'm not really into rape.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Uhm, when I was sexually assaulted it wasn't "violent". I wasn't hit, or threatened with a weapon of any sort. So I think your definition is a bit off... I also wasn't "destroyed". Perhaps this was because the rape was mixed in with an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that it took me almost two years to get out of. That doesn't make what I experienced any less valid.

With that being said, then a lot of people in the BDSM world must be "sick in their own mind". I'm not really going to elaborate further than that, because of LPSG's rules/Terms of service and I don't want to get my wrist smacked. Things are broader than your personal definition of what they might be.

Me neither. I was really fond of my rapist before he attacked me. He was very attractive. We were dating. He was pretty stupid, but he was nice, funny, and easy to talk with. There were some red flags, but I was too inexperienced to see them. While he raped me, it only hurt when I resisted. Once I just let him do as he pleased, he was very gentle, and he told me I was beautiful, and that he would always take care of me. I just lay stiff and still and asked him repeatedly to stop, which he did not do until he jizzed on me.

Ever since, there are certain elements of the rape that excite me, which is a fact that used to be very upsetting, but now isn't.

I can't remember a time when I didn't fantasize about being kidnapped. There is more to it than that, but some of my more violent fantasies start there. When I was kidnapped, it wasn't even remotely arousing. I was terrified the whole time and escaped by stabbing my assailant with something he didn't realize was a weapon. My fantasies are nothing like that. In my fantasies I am out classed physically and mentally, and I don't ever escape.

My rapist was gentle, attractive and said nice things to me the whole time. It was still horrifying, damaging, and rape. While I have felt frustrated, I have never felt destroyed, though in the aftermath, it impacted my fantasy life. While no elements of my kidnapping excite me, the idea of kidnapping still does. MG's igonrance and judgemental rant surprise me as much as certain violent forms of play have thrilled me.

By the way, this is not a wholly uncommon thing with people who have been raped, AND since I have made a significant portion of my money listening to people's fantasies, I'm in a pretty decent position to know what kinds of things come up a lot.

 

[693987]

Me neither. I was really fond of my rapist before he attacked me. He was very attractive. We were dating. He was pretty stupid, but he was nice, funny, and easy to talk with. There were some red flags, but I was too inexperienced to see them. While he raped me, it only hurt when I resisted. Once I just let him do as he pleased, he was very gentle, and he told me I was beautiful, and that he would always take care of me. I just lay stiff and still and asked him repeatedly to stop, which he did not do until he jizzed on me.

Ever since, there are certain elements of the rape that excite me, which is a fact that used to be very upsetting, but now isn't.

I can't remember a time when I didn't fantasize about being kidnapped. There is more to it than that, but some of my more violent fantasies start there. When I was kidnapped, it wasn't even remotely arousing. I was terrified the whole time and escaped by stabbing my assailant with something he didn't realize was a weapon. My fantasies are nothing like that. In my fantasies I am out classed physically and mentally, and I don't ever escape.

My rapist was gentle, attractive and said nice things to me the whole time. It was still horrifying, damaging, and rape. While I have felt frustrated, I have never felt destroyed, though in the aftermath, it impacted my fantasy life. While no elements of my kidnapping excite me, the idea of kidnapping still does. MG's igonrance and judgemental rant surprise me as much as certain violent forms of play have thrilled me.

By the way, this is not a wholly uncommon thing with people who have been raped, AND since I have made a significant portion of my money listening to people's fantasies, I'm in a pretty decent position to know what kinds of things come up a lot.

I appreciate you being so candid about what you've dealt with, AE.

Elaborating a little bit further on my own experiences, I think I'm similar in that I can't recall having fantasies along these lines until after what I lived through. What I imagine is completely different than what I experienced. I felt guilty and like I was a twisted individual for a couple of years until I came to terms with it. Now, I feel no shame over my kinks/fantasies/etc. I'm not into anything illegal or permanently damaging. I believe in safe, sane, and consensual. I believe in risk aware consensual kink. That being said, I think that with the right person, after developing a truly trusting relationship, that I could forgo a safe-word. Mind you, that's only my opinion.

To talk more about the original topic some, I fantasize about a higher risk element than some others might. I also happen to think knives and blood are hot. I've had a short, selective list of people who I have allowed to make me bleed with needles and various blade/edged implements.

Oh, I also know that a former play partner of mine... his first "date" with someone included a carefully negotiated "kidnapping". She got put in the trunk of his car :tongue:

 

[Betty_Cocker]

Didn't really go as planned. I should mention that non-consensual type scenes (in porn) are a turn off to me, so it was tough for me to "get into character." I hadn't really factored that into the equation. Anyway, after I told her I told her that, she decided "rape" was the wrong word--"aggressive" was better. I can totally do that.

We had amazing sex after that. My lesson for the day? Role playing takes 2, and it's much better when both parties are into the same kind of kinky. Also, I'm not really into rape.

Good for you that you worked it out!
I'm like you... rape just not for me... I like fantasies and role play and must agree with you that it takes 2 on the same page. What a really hate is when someone says "now I want you to say 'this' and do 'this'... and plan the entire sex scene out as if it were porn." Role play is a part of sex that should come as natural to both parties as any other part of sex.

Being clear about limits beforehand though is essential. And always get a safeword if the play includes force, aggression or anything where "no" doesn't mean "no". (I always said, my safe word is "No" and you will def know it when I mean no!) LOL...

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I also happen to think knives and blood are hot. I've had a short, selective list of people who I have allowed to make me bleed with needles and various blade/edged implements.

Yes, I broken glass is my thing. Kind of a fetish. I'm on ya level chica

I also wanna clarify (I was asked in a PM, but would like to explain for the rest of the readers, I was a bit vague in my original post) Yes, the fantasy I described, I rape the rapist. Not necessarily with a strap-on.. just whatever I found handy in the moment. That's why I prefer not to act it out. It's just not something I really wanna take to a 'realistic' level. Better left in the mind.

To actually be attacked, is a horrible fear of mine. My fantasy, is kind of a way to feel empowered and not let that fear take over.

 

[Mercurygirl]

Uhm, when I was sexually assaulted it wasn't "violent". I wasn't hit, or threatened with a weapon of any sort. So I think your definition is a bit off... I also wasn't "destroyed". Perhaps this was because the rape was mixed in with an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship that it took me almost two years to get out of. That doesn't make what I experienced any less valid.

With that being said, then a lot of people in the BDSM world must be "sick in their own mind". I'm not really going to elaborate further than that, because of LPSG's rules/Terms of service and I don't want to get my wrist smacked. Things are broader than your personal definition of what they might be.

Yes, please don't elaborate further as you clearly don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Are you actually trying to make a comparative between the BDSM community and rapist/rape victims? Really???

Just because you were raped doesn't make you an expert so stop pretending you are. I was speaking about the countless women who's rapes weren't seemingly so easy to dismiss as apparently yours was. Fact is for them it was a horrible and violent experience. To take a page from your book, your personal definition doesn't dismiss theirs.

Me neither. I was really fond of my rapist before he attacked me. He was very attractive. We were dating. He was pretty stupid, but he was nice, funny, and easy to talk with. There were some red flags, but I was too inexperienced to see them. While he raped me, it only hurt when I resisted. Once I just let him do as he pleased, he was very gentle, and he told me I was beautiful, and that he would always take care of me. I just lay stiff and still and asked him repeatedly to stop, which he did not do until he jizzed on me.

Ever since, there are certain elements of the rape that excite me, which is a fact that used to be very upsetting, but now isn't.

I can't remember a time when I didn't fantasize about being kidnapped. There is more to it than that, but some of my more violent fantasies start there. When I was kidnapped, it wasn't even remotely arousing. I was terrified the whole time and escaped by stabbing my assailant with something he didn't realize was a weapon. My fantasies are nothing like that. In my fantasies I am out classed physically and mentally, and I don't ever escape.

My rapist was gentle, attractive and said nice things to me the whole time. It was still horrifying, damaging, and rape. While I have felt frustrated, I have never felt destroyed, though in the aftermath, it impacted my fantasy life. While no elements of my kidnapping excite me, the idea of kidnapping still does. MG's igonrance and judgemental rant surprise me as much as certain violent forms of play have thrilled me.

By the way, this is not a wholly uncommon thing with people who have been raped, AND since I have made a significant portion of my money listening to people's fantasies, I'm in a pretty decent position to know what kinds of things come up a lot.

So your rape wasn't so traumatic or violent and you even state in the aftermath it, "excite me". Well bully for you. I personally find your "excite" over a rape rather disturbing. Is that too judgmental for you? Damn right it is. I don't, will never, apologize for having an opinion. I refuse to adhere to this new brand of PC stupid bullshit that would make everyone and everything acceptable as you seem to believe. Not everything is OK and not everyone gets a fucking trophy.

If someone told me that they were raped and got excited thinking about it afterward I'd one, question if a rape actually occurred, and two, I'd suggest therapy. Certainly there are issues that need to be addressed.

If you consider me "ignorant" for representing those women in my earlier statement who's rapes were violent, who'd been traumatized, I can live with that. I won't lose any sleep considering the source of the insult.

To talk more about the original topic some, I fantasize about a higher risk element than some others might. I also happen to think knives and blood are hot. I've had a short, selective list of people who I have allowed to make me bleed with needles and various blade/edged implements.

You think knives and blood are hot? Seriously, after reading that you have no fucking business telling anyone how rape is a walk in the park.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I consider you ignorant for trying to say that rapes like mine are not rapes, for trying to say that every person who survives a rape is a victim, for tryin to speak for all women. I'm sick of stupid bitches who think it isn't rape if you comply to survive, who think it isn't rape if you don't get shredded, and especially the stupid bitches who think they know all there is to know about human psychology and can predict how trauma effects all women like there is a universal, perfect way to cope with violation. You don't know what you're talking about, and you cannot speak for me. Your opinion is yours, but you have no right to express it like it is undisputable law. Fuck you very much.

 

[693987]

Mercurygirl, there isn't one true way for anyone. So don't you fucking dare tell me that what I experienced was less valid, just because I was able to cope with it. And no, I'm not trying to say that those into BDSM are equivalent with rape victims. Just that there are plenty of people IN the BDSM community who find rape fantasies appealing. Please, do actually read what I write if you're going to respond to it so indignantly.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, but your OPINION doesn't = automatically right, everyone else is wrong. Neither AE or I even remotely touched on your little rant about "I refuse to adhere to this new brand of PC stupid bullshit that would make everyone and everything acceptable as you seem to believe. Not everything is OK and not everyone gets a fucking trophy." We didn't say a damned thing about that.

Learn to freaking read. Yes, I was sexually assaulted in the past. Yes, it was shitty. Yes, I got over it. Yes, rape fantasies still appeal to me. No, I don't get excited thinking about the time I was actually sexually assaulted.

I never said being raped was a walk in the park, good grief. You seemed to only cherry pick one word out of ten that I wrote.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Mercurygirl, there isn't one true way for anyone. So don't you fucking dare tell me that what I experienced was less valid, just because I was able to cope with it. And no, I'm not trying to say that those into BDSM are equivalent with rape victims. Just that there are plenty of people IN the BDSM community who find rape fantasies appealing. Please, do actually read what I write if you're going to respond to it so indignantly.

Of course you're entitled to your opinion, but your OPINION doesn't = automatically right, everyone else is wrong. Neither AE or I even remotely touched on your little rant about "I refuse to adhere to this new brand of PC stupid bullshit that would make everyone and everything acceptable as you seem to believe. Not everything is OK and not everyone gets a fucking trophy." We didn't say a damned thing about that.

Learn to freaking read. Yes, I was sexually assaulted in the past. Yes, it was shitty. Yes, I got over it. Yes, rape fantasies still appeal to me. No, I don't get excited thinking about the time I was actually sexually assaulted.

I never said being raped was a walk in the park, good grief. You seemed to only cherry pick one word out of ten that I wrote.

I agree with all of that. I also never wrote that the rape wasn't very traumatic at the time. Trust is so important to me, and to be raped by someone my family and I trusted was so difficult to process for a very long time. The way the justice system treated my case was additionally traumatic. It just wasn't violent, and assholes like MercuryGirl make it difficult for women who are not physically damaged by rape to get the justice that would go a long way to get the emotional and spiritual healing that can be so important to moving forward. That's part of what I found so offensive. I found it additionally offensive that she thought she could dismiss my experience because I refused to remain victimized and fought to keep my sanity and adjust to my new paradigms and reality. I'm emotionally intelligent, and able to cope with problems (eventually) so, does that mean nothing that happens to me is bad? Just because I can bounce back? Fuck that. It's nice that you get it. Also, I'm sorry you get it so well. You know.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Everyone has their own kinks. So whatever floats whomever's boat. Not my place to say someone's kink is wrong.

Damn. Just damn.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I heard that, Miss Sprinkles!



And another thing! I NEVER wrote that I found the rape itself exciting later. There are fragments of fragments of things that happened that when they now happen in another context, are exciting. I have a fetish for semen that I never had before I was raped, for example. Certain triggers of uncertainty turn me on even if I don't allow myself or anyone else to act on that arousal. These things are not actually from that night, but are tangentially related, spawned by either the trauma, or the process of getting over it. Certain idiots who like to practice armchair psychology, but don't know Jung's elbow from Freud's asshole, should monitor their stupidity if they don't want anyone finding out about it.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Everyone has their own kinks. So whatever floats whomever's boat. Not my place to say someone's kink is wrong.

Damn. Just damn.

Exactly. As long as we ain't sinking each others boats in order to keep our own floating, it's all good in the hood.

Fantasizing, and consensual role-playing of various situations are just fine.