Straight guys can be gay too

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Crimsonlurker said:
Not to mention open the flood gates for those who would like their actual perversions to be respected and injected into mainstream ideology.
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Yet you did mention it. This says a lot about how you view non-straights.
 
Hatt_101 said:
Going back to what elvid said and what you said here in bold the reason elvid put it they way he did is because when the men here say they are only in to women some bi/gay guys here, like crimson said, still seem to think that includes other men,
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I agree it's wrong, tedious and disrespectful to suggest that a 100% exclusively straight guy may really be in to other guys. I completely get that. My argument was on a different line. (I guess if a lot of straight women were posting to the Ask a Gay man forum with stuff like 'hundreds of gay guys have come in my pussy', 'a mouth's a mouth', 'I'm so horny and wet', etc that would get old pretty quickly if you're 100% exclusively gay and averse to pussy. Although it would entertain me!) But you know, this is only a big dick site, these are only virtual 'advances'. It doesn't really change or reflect on your sexuality. If this were happening to you a lot in everyday life, getting hit on by other men, I'd have a lot of sympathy. You seem to want this site to reflect your sexual 'norms' but it's not always going to when there are probably more gay/bi guys here than straights. Welcome to the uncomfortable feeling of being in the minority.
 
Please forgive the excessive length of this posting. I took a look at the root word Phobia / Phobic

A person suffering from irrational fears - affected with emotional disorder. Some people just do not like something; and some people have a deep rooted fear / anxiety about somethings. I looked up the top Medically recognized types of Phobias and Homophobia did not even make the list. Not to say it does not exist, it does; but there are more people who are afraid of spiders or Zombies than of Gay Men.

I have a small old blind dog that is so frightening to one of my neighbors , she will not get out of her car, or come outside when he is in the yard. Yes she has a phobia, a condition that she can not control, an irrational fear that prevents her from caring on a normal existence. And she fully admits to having this condition. I have a cousin afraid of spiders, who crashed her car, because a spider crawled on the seat while she was driving, thankfully no one was hurt. she has a phobia.

A person not liking someone as a person because they are Gay / Lesbian has a Phobia and a problem. However a person who just chooses a sexual preference for the opposite sex , is just exercising their freedom of choice.


  1. Arachnophobia – The fear of spiders affects women four times more (48% women and 12% men).
  2. Ophidiophobia – The fear of snakes. Phobics avoid certain cities because they have more snakes.
  3. Acrophobia – The fear of heights. Five percent of the general population suffer from this phobia.
  4. Agoraphobia – The fear of open or crowded spaces. People with this fear often wont leave home.
  5. Cynophobia – The fear of dogs. This includes everything from small Poodles to large Great Danes.
  6. Claustrophobia – The fear of small spaces like elevators, small rooms and other enclosed spaces.
  7. Mysophobia – The fear of germs. It is also rightly termed as Germophobia or Bacterophobia.
  8. Aerophobia – The fear of flying. 25 million Americans share a fear of flying.
  9. Trypophobia – The fear of holes is an unusual but pretty common phobia.
  10. Carcinophobia – The fear of cancer. People with this develop extreme diets.
  11. Thanatophobia – The fear of death. Even talking about death can be hard.
  12. Glossophobia – The fear of public speaking. Not being able to do speeches.
  13. Monophobia – The fear of being alone. Even while eating and/or sleeping.
  14. Ornithophobia – The fear of birds. Individuals suffering from this may only fear certain species
  15. Enochlophobia – The fear of crowds is closely related to Ochlophobia and Demophobia.
  16. Aphenphosmphobia – The fear of intimacy. Fear of being touched and love
  17. Anthropophobia – The fear of people. Being afraid of people in all situations.
  18. Aquaphobia – The fear of water. Being afraid of water or being near water.
  19. Autophobia – The fear of abandonment and being abandoned by someone.
  20. Hemophobia – The fear of blood. Even the sight of blood can cause fainting.
  21. Gamophobia – The fear of commitment or sticking with someone to the end.
  22. Xenophobia – The fear of the unknown. Fearing anything or anyone that is strange or foreign.
  23. Basiphobia – The fear of falling. Some may even refuse to walk or stand up.
  24. Achievemephobia – The fear of success. The opposite to the fear of failure.
  25. Theophobia – The fear of God causes an irrational fear of God or religion.
  26. Ailurophobia – The fear of cats. This phobia is also known as Gatophobia.
  27. Metathesiophobia – The fear of change. Sometimes change is a good thing.
  28. Globophobia – The fear of balloons. They should be fun, but not for phobics.
  29. Nyctophobia – The fear of darkness. Being afraid of the dark or the night is common for kids.
  30. Androphobia – The fear of men. Usually seen in younger females, but it can also affect adults.
  31. Phobophobia – The fear of fear. The thought of being afraid of objects/situations.
  32. Philophobia – The fear of love. Being scared of falling in love or emotions.
  33. Triskaidekaphobia – The fear of the number 13 or the bad luck that follows.
  34. Emetophobia – The fear of vomiting and the fear of loss of your self control.
  35. Gephyrophobia – The fear of bridges and crossing even the smallest bridge.
  36. Entomophobia – The fear of bugs and insects, also related to Acarophobia.
  37. Lepidopterophobia – The fear of butterflies and often most winged insects.
  38. Panophobia – The fear of everything or fear that terrible things will happen.
  39. Podophobia – The fear of feet. Some people fear touching or looking at feet, even their own.
  40. Paraskevidekatriaphobia – The fear of Friday the 13th. About 8% of Americans have this phobia.
  41. Somniphobia – The fear of sleep. Being terrified of what might happen right after you fall asleep.
  42. Gynophobia – The fear of women. May occur if you have unresolved mother issues.
  43. Apiphobia – The fear of bees. Many people fear being stung by angry bees.
 
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hunghorse30 said:
If that's directed at me, I've not been saying that turning down the advances of someone not to your liking is phobic. I'm arguing about the meaning of the word straight as defined by Elvid. I don't say he's personally homophobic (he seems a nice guy) or has it in for gays because he doesn't sleep with men. That's an obvious straw-dogism. What I've pointed out is that the dictionary-sounding definition he gave for straight is, in fact, incorrect. If you say words have meanings then you have to accept it is a wrong definition. Find me any dictionary that defines straight as 'does not engage in sexual activity or fall in love with members of the same sex'. You won't. That is unarguable. Straight, I repeat, means 'sexually attracted to the opposite sex'. That's all. Now by defining straight negatively, by what it is not, by what it opposes, the word is invested with rather another meaning. This arguably comes closer to a definition of homophobia than it does to a (correct) definition of straight because it defines straightness in terms of aversion to homosexual acts/love rather than attraction to heterosexual acts/love. I then speculate as to what function this serves (heteronormative confirmation in an all-straight-male forum) which may be bullshit but seems quite plausible in this context and the reactions it provokes.

Re: how gays define the meaning of gay, of course there are many shades of gay but I'm fairly sure none would describe its meaning as what it is not, they would describe their preference, not its opposite. The reasons for that may be a) they are not fending off virtual advances from straight males and b) they are not having to uphold a societal 'norm'.
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See this is were i have a problem.

but I'm fairly sure none would describe its meaning as what it is not, - You

The only reason straight men have to describe what straight is not is because gay and bisexual men constantly both act and say straight doesn't mean what straight is. Meaning straight men HAVE to defend not only who they are but what they are, why, how and etc. You are placing the entirety of the blame for straight men HAVING to defend themselves on straight men.

Straight men aren't upholding some societal norm they are upholding their own norms. Then defend what the word means AND themselves. From what you may not have asked but should be stone cold clear on? The massive amount of guys on this site who have little or no respect for other people. Which for like the hundredth time....are the same types of guys who harass women constantly with unwanted dick pics and unwelcomed advances. It's thee exact same ideology. The exact same follow through. Along with the exact same type of defenders. Namely...you.

I'm sorry but how is you guys don't realize your words are saved? Every time you seem to be agreeable you end it off with something that completely dismisses what was told to you and dismisses the people who said it. Which is very much like how the women of the site get treated.

hunghorse30 said:
Yet you did mention it. This says a lot about how you view non-straights.
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No. It doesn't. You wish it were. That would make me an easily identifiable enemy. No. I mentioned it because thats where other people took this kind of conversation. Do a search (which most guys who come here don't even think about doing). Pull up this topic and ones surrounding it and tell me how many times it lead exactly where i said.

hunghorse30 said:
I agree it's wrong, tedious and disrespectful to suggest that a 100% exclusively straight guy may really be in to other guys. I completely get that. My argument was on a different line. (I guess if a lot of straight women were posting to the Ask a Gay man forum with stuff like 'hundreds of gay guys have come in my pussy', 'a mouth's a mouth', 'I'm so horny and wet', etc that would get old pretty quickly if you're 100% exclusively gay and averse to pussy. Although it would entertain me!) But you know, this is only a big dick site, these are only virtual 'advances'. It doesn't really change or reflect on your sexuality. If this were happening to you a lot in everyday life, getting hit on by other men, I'd have a lot of sympathy. You seem to want this site to reflect your sexual 'norms' but it's not always going to when there are probably more gay/bi guys here than straights. Welcome to the uncomfortable feeling of being in the minority.
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And by the way.

But you know, this is only a big dick site, these are only virtual 'advances'. It doesn't really change or reflect on your sexuality. If this were happening to you a lot in everyday life, getting hit on by other men, I'd have a lot of sympathy. - You

See you think people are looking for sympathy. No, no one's looking for sympathy. They don't need your sympathy. A little understanding might be nice but that also isn't needed. And no one's looking to make the site reflect any sexual norms. What is it about then you probably would never ask? Gay and bisexual men constantly posting straight bait in the straight men only section.

You know whats another problem? Men constantly posting their penis in the ask a woman section or women's issues. Then finding some flimsy ass excuse to justify it. Then when it's pointed out to them that it has nothing to do with women they start bitching and moaning. As if they own the entire site. Sound familiar? Like i said, the same thing that happens with the women's part of the site happens in ask a straight man too. The same questions over and over and over and over and over again. The same dick pics. The same unwarranted advances. The same defenders. The same sneaky emotional answers and replies.

Yes, even only virtual advances get tiring. The best part though....

Welcome to the uncomfortable feeling of being in the minority. -You

Oh dear, you have no fucking clue do you. Now this is about the person you replied to. Heres the thing. You can not have sex. You can hide in the closet. One thing you can't do......is hide the color of your skin. Now tell me again about that uncomfortable feeling of being in the minority. Condescend a little more. Tell me how straight men are somehow wrong for defending themselves. Tell me how straight men are trying to change the entire site when this specific conversation is about gay and bisexual men inundating the ask a straight man with questions about sucking a dick, getting blown by a guy and etc. I really want to see how you'll flip your way out of this one.

Seriously, since when did standing up for yourself become upholding societal norms?

Yeah just let it go.
 
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hunghorse30 said:
I agree it's wrong, tedious and disrespectful to suggest that a 100% exclusively straight guy may really be in to other guys. I completely get that. My argument was on a different line. (I guess if a lot of straight women were posting to the Ask a Gay man forum with stuff like 'hundreds of gay guys have come in my pussy', 'a mouth's a mouth', 'I'm so horny and wet', etc that would get old pretty quickly if you're 100% exclusively gay and averse to pussy. Although it would entertain me!) But you know, this is only a big dick site, these are only virtual 'advances'. It doesn't really change or reflect on your sexuality. If this were happening to you a lot in everyday life, getting hit on by other men, I'd have a lot of sympathy. You seem to want this site to reflect your sexual 'norms' but it's not always going to when there are probably more gay/bi guys here than straights. Welcome to the uncomfortable feeling of being in the minority.
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I am a black male you dont have to welcome me to being a minority because i am already one and one that is actually visible unlike being gay. in Canada being a minority may not be as bad as the us but it still is a factor.

and just because you are a minority are you suggestion that people just remain silent on something that can easily speak about? I and other speak up just so that others wont go out there with a false view of things. Again Crimson said it perfectly already in his post .
 
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What's quite interesting about this site is that it reverses two norms in society: that straights are the majority and that women are the object of male desire. Here straights are in the minority and men find themselves in the role of sex object. This can be uncomfortable for a particular type of dominant straight male. The Ask a Straight Man forum serves firstly as a space to bond and reconfirm straight male identity (against the perceived threat of homosexuality) but crucially the forum is all about regaining and upholding the societal norms that the site reverses.

So, posts in this forum are either complaints about being treated as an object of male desire, which is felt as an affront to straight sexuality, or they are hyperbolic definitions of what it means to be straight.

It's a furious rearguard defence, with absurdly intense postings as above and a palpable sense of angry disempowerment.

Also a tremendous sense of rectitude, as though the straight male were the last bastion of the moral order. Another meaning of 'straight' that isn't openly discussed but that's implicit in many of these posts is that of 'honesty' and 'exhibiting no deviation from what is established or accepted as usual, normal, or proper' (Merriam Webster). The opposite of bent, crooked, indirect, improper, perverted. Thanks to Crimsonlurker for making that clear in his otherwise incoherent and witless rant. His language tells it all. Challenging straight authority (if only to insist on a correct dictionary definition) is apparently "disingenuous", "sneaky", irresponsible and would "open the flood gates for those who would like their actual perversions to be respected and injected into mainstream ideology". As ever, it's all about establishing straight as the sexual and moral norm, heightened by the sense of needing to defend against rampant impropriety in this reversed situation.
 
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elvid said:
I don't care what guys do with their cocks! LOL! However, it gets very boring to have this forum clogged up with people asking variations of the same question - "Do straight guys like fucking guys?" It's been asked and answered a million times before.
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Well, it is a dick pic sharing forum, so it's no surprise people here doubt claims of heterosexuality.
 
hunghorse30 said:
What's quite interesting about this site is that it reverses two norms in society: that straights are the majority and that women are the object of male desire. Here straights are in the minority and men find themselves in the role of sex object. This can be uncomfortable for a particular type of dominant straight male. The Ask a Straight Man forum serves firstly as a space to bond and reconfirm straight male identity (against the perceived threat of homosexuality) but crucially the forum is all about regaining and upholding the societal norms that the site reverses.

So, posts in this forum are either complaints about being treated as an object of male desire, which is felt as an affront to straight sexuality, or they are hyperbolic definitions of what it means to be straight.

It's a furious rearguard defence, with absurdly intense postings as above and a palpable sense of angry disempowerment.

Also a tremendous sense of rectitude, as though the straight male were the last bastion of the moral order. Another meaning of 'straight' that isn't openly discussed but that's implicit in many of these posts is that of 'honesty' and 'exhibiting no deviation from what is established or accepted as usual, normal, or proper' (Merriam Webster). The opposite of bent, crooked, indirect, improper, perverted. Thanks to Crimsonlurker for making that clear in his otherwise incoherent and witless rant. His language tells it all. Challenging straight authority (if only to insist on a correct dictionary definition) is apparently "disingenuous", "sneaky", irresponsible and would "open the flood gates for those who would like their actual perversions to be respected and injected into mainstream ideology". As ever, it's all about establishing straight as the sexual and moral norm, heightened by the sense of needing to defend against rampant impropriety in this reversed situation.
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And once again you show yourself to be very very ignorant. Sure, in terms of ratios yes it has been reversed but women are still the object of male desire. How you may ask? When the site is majority gay? Well my friend i use to wonder the same thing. Until the whole straight men can be gay too caught my attention. And then i start reading about women being harassed on this site. Not being respected and generally have more to deal with then the men. Not only because of the guys of the site but by how events were handled. So no women are still the object of male desire simply because many of those men can't even begin to fathom the idea of respecting someone or respecting someone elses sexuality.

Now that last part breaks in two different meanings. Of which i'm using fluidly. These men not only don't respect straight men's sexuality but women's either. Just because someone posts pictures on a big dick site it doesn't mean it's ok to treat them a certain way. In general though men on this site don't understand that. They don't feel they should. In either instance. It isn't about respecting other people, it's about doing whatever the hell you want. Which is more in keeping with what the lbgt community has been fighting against for a very long time.

And once more you imply that this is straights somehow trying establish straight as the sexual and moral norm. No, it's about not allowing this site or the world in general to become even more of a shitty place. This site should be for all people and all people should get respect here. Thats what it's about. This site is dominated by gay and bisexual men. Other people just want to be respected here. It isn't some hidden agenda. No plan to rule the world. It's about respect and respect only. Once again, something the lbgt community have been fighting for for a very long time.

There is only a need to defend because there are people attacking. How many people would i rightly piss off if i said gay, lesbian and bisexual people were trying to take over everything? Also, how wrong would i be? Thats a tin foil hat theory full of bullshit just like your straight are trying blah blah bullshit is. Straight people just want to be left alone. Just like gay people want to be left alone. Just like bisexual people just want to be left alone. Just like women just want to be left alone. Thats it. No conspiracy. No grand scheme to take anything away from you. Mutual respect.

Oh and you mixed up angry with irritated.
 
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hunghorse30 said:
The Ask a Straight Man forum serves firstly as a space to bond and reconfirm straight male identity (against the perceived threat of homosexuality) but crucially the forum is all about regaining and upholding the societal norms that the site reverses.
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Not really. The idea of the "Ask a Straight Man" forum is to allow anyone - no matter their biological sex, no matter which gender or genders they self-identfy as, and no matter their sexual orientation (lesbian, queer, gay, bisexual, bi-curious, fluid, pansexual, flexisexual, polysexual, asexual, TBD, questioning or straight) - to start a thread by asking a question; and then have that question answered exclusively by straight men. Doesn't seem to happen, though, does it?! LOL!
 
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elvid said:
Not really. The idea of the "Ask a Straight Man" forum is to allow anyone - no matter their biological sex, no matter which gender or genders they self-identfy as, and no matter their sexual orientation (lesbian, queer, gay, bisexual, bi-curious, fluid, pansexual, flexisexual, polysexual, asexual, TBD, questioning or straight) - to start a thread by asking a question; and then have that question answered exclusively by straight men. Doesn't seem to happen, though, does it?! LOL!
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Well, that's true enough. Though you're talking about its purpose for the questioner rather than those who habitually answer. Still, I should have started a new thread.
 
@N68 The one line that stood out in your posting

In tally, the men interviewed reported that if sexual activity between men was anonymous, experimental, occasional, or if substance use was involved, the act was not “gay.”

Reminds me of a joke / advice an older family member told me when I was a kid.

He said, there is nothing wrong with dating / having sex with a woman who is not attractive by societies norms; or who is calorically Challenged ( I cleaned up his actual words ), as long as your friends / family do not find out. Because they will tease and make jokes about it for the rest of your life.,

So to tie this back to the book, Straight guys are straight and can have sex with other men, as long as no one else finds out. Because if they did then the mythos / false facade is laid bare; The teasing, puns, put downs would never stop.
 
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N68 said:
Food for thought.
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The only thing I gathered from reading the article, researching the good doctor and his associated writings is that like most others he has an agenda and turns a profit by offering his expertise in the LGBT community, not exactly an impartial player so what he says hits me about the same way as a tort lawyer loitering around a freeway or hospital. He is a hired gun that specializes in substance abuse and the gay community.

What I think it is fascinating is that there are not a dozen straight males (90% + according to the guidelines) posters in the Ask a Gay Man section when Gay males offer opinions; why is that? Unless of course you count those that choose not post their status, but speak quite plainly with their opinions and move between all three sections (if they hide their gender they will probably show up in the Ask a Woman section as well).

Why does it trip the trigger of the lunatic fringe for a select group of Gay posters to try to "out" everyone that doesn't conform to their standards or sexuality? Is it a case of misery loves company? Are they an elite group of secret Gay Jesuits trying to convert all of the straight males?

Sounds ridiculous right? That is the same way some of these questions come across.

If someone says they are straight, gay bi or whatever and disagrees just leave it alone and learn to get along.
 
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