Tell or not tell a good friend I am bi?

[bi2]

I engage in MM sex once every couple of weeks or so for an hour or two with my fuckbuddy. He sends me a text, we hookup, we kiss, we suck, we fuck, we then go our seperate ways till we meet again.

I gain nothing telling anyone about this pleasure, its private and its consenting. Its no one else's business.

 

[deleted17938181]

I engage in MM sex once every couple of weeks or so for an hour or two with my fuckbuddy. He sends me a text, we hookup, we kiss, we suck, we fuck, we then go our seperate ways till we meet again.

I gain nothing telling anyone about this pleasure, its private and its consenting. Its no one else's business.

You're right! It's for you both, your own business.
To be quiet and do your stuff in silence, enjoying each other, consensual and in peace is the best decision.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Loved it!

 

[bi2]

You're right! It's for you both, your own business.
To be quiet and do your stuff in silence, enjoying each other, consensual and in peace is the best decision.
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Loved it!

Thanks for that, I just dont think one hour every two weeks defines me as a person.

We enjoy the sex and its an outlet for both of us thats ours, its private and discrete. We get to engage in an activity that brings us a lot of pleasure and satisfaction, without any drama's or complications. Its meaningless fun between two men.

 

[deleted17938181]

Thanks for that, I just dont think one hour every two weeks defines me as a person.

We enjoy the sex and its an outlet for both of us thats ours, its private and discrete. We get to engage in an activity that brings us a lot of pleasure and satisfaction, without any drama's or complications. Its meaningless fun between two men.

I'd like to have something like you have for myself.
I read your experience and find it so fulfilling
Wow

 

[bi2]

I'd like to have something like you have for myself.
I read your experience and find it so fulfilling
Wow

Thank you.

Importantly neither myself or my fuckbuddy play any games. There is no drama or any issues between us. Each of us has laughed at the fact that we think the other has all the power in our hookups. We have good chemistry betweeen us and I think because we only meet every fortnight or so, the sex gets pretty hot and intense between us.

I think it works well between us because he is very much an Alpha dominant Top male, I completely surrender myself to him and Im totally submissive bottom, so we get to satisfy each other in our own way. He craves the power and control, I crave giving him all that. We are an outlet for each other, to express what we want in MM sex. I think this is why we work so well. When we finish, we go about our own seperate lives till we meet again.

 

[lroque7777777]

I have a straight friend for more than 30 years. He is married, children, etc. He knows I am little gay, because he knows my life.
He is always caring, kind and a good friend.
He is a little homophobic but not with me because I don't share with him anything about my sexual life and I am very masculine.

The question is, do I tell him I am bi or not?

I am maybe projecting because I have felt attracted to him but as he is homophobic I think I would loose his friendship.

He never has made any approach or removed cloth in front of me.

What do you think, am I projecting right?

I have a close friend that I sorta liked and we usually get high and have deep conversations every weekend (after snowboarding, hiking, mountain biking etc). One time we were talking about past relationships and I told him about the first time I had a bi experience. I could tell from his face that it kinda freaked him out but he got over it pretty quick and we still hang out every weekend and still have deep conversations till now.

Low key I was fishing (found out he's straight tho lol) but telling him I was bi felt liberating and I feel that our friendship has gotten stronger knowing that we are not superficial towards each other.

 

[josh20hung]

Ok so I only read half the comments so I'm not sure if this has already been posted .. but if you're bi .. and your best friend is homophobic and you are concerned that telling him about your bisexuality will ruin the friendship .. then this guy is not your friend at all. He is friends with someone who he thinks he knows. If he was your true friend, there would be no conditions. How can you call him a close friend if he doesn't even know who you actually are? And if he found out .. he wouldn't want to be around you.

 

[oliverKj]

Ok so I only read half the comments so I'm not sure if this has already been posted .. but if you're bi .. and your best friend is homophobic and you are concerned that telling him about your bisexuality will ruin the friendship .. then this guy is not your friend at all. He is friends with someone who he thinks he knows. If he was your true friend, there would be no conditions. How can you call him a close friend if he doesn't even know who you actually are? And if he found out .. he wouldn't want to be around you.

100000000%

 

[oliverKj]

Ok so I only read half the comments so I'm not sure if this has already been posted .. but if you're bi .. and your best friend is homophobic and you are concerned that telling him about your bisexuality will ruin the friendship .. then this guy is not your friend at all. He is friends with someone who he thinks he knows. If he was your true friend, there would be no conditions. How can you call him a close friend if he doesn't even know who you actually are? And if he found out .. he wouldn't want to be around you.

Totally agree with this. It’s hard to say if he wouldn’t be around if he told him tho, we don’t know how ppl would react. They can surprise us for the better or worst.
What I think is that this is something @Lucky2022 that u actually want to share with him, and I believe u wouldn’t have these questions if this wasn’t important for u to get it out.
My advise is to go for it if this has been on ur mind for a bit. He will totally support u if he really is a long time friend. I also believe him being close to someone who identifies openly as bi will change his mind about making comments and being homophic towards others.
if anyone who is ur friend has anything to say about ur sex life/orientation, they ain’t ur friends. In fact sexually and friendship are two differing things that shouldn’t bother ppl. Makes no sense how a friend would stop being ur friend for u living ur life and doing who u r. Does that sound a friend?!
If u don’t care at all and it ain’t important then no need to bring it up with him.

 

[deleted5501621]

I have a straight friend for more than 30 years. He is married, children, etc. He knows I am little gay, because he knows my life.
He is always caring, kind and a good friend.
He is a little homophobic but not with me because I don't share with him anything about my sexual life and I am very masculine.

The question is, do I tell him I am bi or not?

I am maybe projecting because I have felt attracted to him but as he is homophobic I think I would loose his friendship.

He never has made any approach or removed cloth in front of me.

What do you think, am I projecting right?

While I don't consider myself gay don't mind looking at a nice cock or even watch guys stroking theirs, I don't broadcast it nor do I feel it's anyone's business but have talked to some acquaintances on the subject and it's no big deal and yes some are phobics on the subject wouldn't worry about losing people to such subjects as I'm sure you have more to worry about and there are men who can talk about anything, good luck!

 

[Upfourall]

I have a straight friend for more than 30 years. He is married, children, etc. He knows I am little gay, because he knows my life.
He is always caring, kind and a good friend.
He is a little homophobic but not with me because I don't share with him anything about my sexual life and I am very masculine.

The question is, do I tell him I am bi or not?

I am maybe projecting because I have felt attracted to him but as he is homophobic I think I would loose his friendship.

He never has made any approach or removed cloth in front of me.

What do you think, am I projecting right?

So if he knows you like men and women, then why say anything? It's like going around saying "hey, I'm left-handed" or "you probably noticed my glasses, I'm near-sighted in one eye and I have astigmatism". Why add drama to your life? I don't necessarily want to know every detail of my friends' personal lives, and I'm sure they don't want to know mine.

 

[bi2]

So if he knows you like men and women, then why say anything? It's like going around saying "hey, I'm left-handed" or "you probably noticed my glasses, I'm near-sighted in one eye and I have astigmatism". Why add drama to your life? I don't necessarily want to know every detail of my friends' personal lives, and I'm sure they don't want to know mine.

Great post.

If anyone is reading this post of yours, I hope they listen to your advice.

There is no need whatsoever to tell a friend or friends that your bi. Nothing to gain, but a lot to lose. Bi guys are not worshipped or celebrated like how many bi girls are in society. Bi guys lose respect in the eyes of women and men, sure it may not be publicaly stated, but this is the case.

If youre having mutual consenting, enjoyable MM sex, it is no one's business or concern if your a bi guy.

What I do for a hour or so, once a fortnight to three weeks, does not define me as a person.

 

[bi2]

I'd like to have something like you have for myself.
I read your experience and find it so fulfilling
Wow

Thanks for your post, very kiind of you to say.

Its very fulfilling, satisfying and definitely helps me in all three ways, physically, mentally and psychologically.

For me having MM sex every few weeks, a good fuck helps clear my mind, relaxes me and removes so much anxiety and stress. A good fuck with a girl does achieve a similar result, however having a regular fuckbuddy girl is not as easy, as there is always complications and drama's that inevitably unfold from my experience, such as "should we be serious", "where are we going with this", "I love you", "Feeling used".

With MM sex with my fuckbuddy its completely uncomplicated in every way. We have been together for two years and fuck once a fortnight. I get the opportunity to be a feminine submissive bottom and get subjected to him being an Alpha Male top and being subjected to humiliation and role plays, all of which I crave, I have a fetish for and enjoy.

Never not once with my male fuckbuddy has there been "should we be serious", "where are we going with this", "I love you", "Feeling used". Thats not to say at times when he has "made love to me", I have felt incredibly close and passionate to him, this feeling subsides after a few minutes and when we leave, he kisses me goodbye and we both happily go about our own lives till the next time we need to fuck again. I am so happy with this arrangment.

 

[deleted17938181]

Great post.

If anyone is reading this post of yours, I hope they listen to your advice.

There is no need whatsoever to tell a friend or friends that your bi. Nothing to gain, but a lot to lose. Bi guys are not worshipped or celebrated like how many bi girls are in society. Bi guys lose respect in the eyes of women and men, sure it may not be publicaly stated, but this is the case.

If youre having mutual consenting, enjoyable MM sex, it is no one's business or concern if your a bi guy.

What I do for a hour or so, once a fortnight to three weeks, does not define me as a person.

You have a good point!
It's nobody's business just mine.
Thanks a lot!

 

[bi2]

You have a good point!
It's nobody's business just mine.
Thanks a lot!

Ive only been with a few guys, all older.

One thing they have said to me is that friends they come and go in your life. People drift in, some stay in, some drift out and stay out. Thats life.

Who you fuck, or get fucked by is only your conern and the person your with. If your both having fun, consentual and it doesnt cause either one any drama's or issues. There is no need to tell or worry about it with anyone else.

I actually respect the fact that a lot of guys that I know, wouldnt approve. I see it from their perspective. Why place them in an awkward situation unnecessarily. Especially more so, aside from being a guy, these guys are lot "mature" too, so the ability to understand is compounded.

 

[Rippedspeedo]

I always go with the being nude as much as possibleinni

 

[Rippedspeedo]

I always go with the being nude as much as possible.

I come in from class off go my shorts.

 

[deleted16577781]

I find this dilemma interesting and experienced it myself many years ago and even now.. maybe it is an age thing as younger people 'seem' more able.. however, I know that it is really still a problem in 'coming out' and I want to extend that to 'whatever disturbs us'.

People might have a problem coming out right now in saying "I love Russia" or "I believe in God" or "I don't drink alcohol".

To me, in a discussion, it is always contextual...

We all want to live who we are... and I get that but in reality and a discussion... is it wise to admit you are vegetarian when surrounded by meat eaters and you are living on an island? Over time everyone does adjust and in the end 'hopefully' a person in such a situation will be accepted.
I told my older brother when I was 43 that I was a homosexual. He gave the old 'we always knew you were that way' and I replied "but no one mentions the 'H' word... he went quiet and then I said 'homosexual'. He knows that I'd had a relationship with a woman.. so it might seem confusing to him... but in the end I opened up and everything was fine.....fine to the point that he actually text me once and said, "you would love this guys legs I'm working with at the moment (my brother was a plumber) and I think his number is on the toilet wall".

As I read your post I come to the point and this applies to me also, the real thing is "do you want to be out" and then - whether you tell him or others, is your business.

And if you do tell others, there will be a point, maybe, where you realise or think 'why am I introducing my self and at the same time saying 'and I am gay/bi/?' ??

Homophobic !! or Homohate?? that is another story that I'm yet to come to terms with.

I wonder if people who are Homo/? phobic are actually more scared of their own emotions/feelings/desires in that direction.

For what it is worth and I've posted this before... I came out to a school mate after 35 years and he said 'I know'... but he confirmed that he was straight but never pursued another woman after a bad experienced many years...
At the time I was scared of loosing his friendship, very scared... yet today as I type this I realise how crazy that idea was, because, I'd not seen him or tried to contact him for 30+ years... so the perception was mine to deal with ....
This is me looking back now but at the time, it was real fear...

So after all that... I'm not sure how helpful my post is but I'm leaving it as it is..

Good luck!!

 

[deleted17938181]

I find this dilemma interesting and experienced it myself many years ago and even now.. maybe it is an age thing as younger people 'seem' more able.. however, I know that it is really still a problem in 'coming out' and I want to extend that to 'whatever disturbs us'.

People might have a problem coming out right now in saying "I love Russia" or "I believe in God" or "I don't drink alcohol".

To me, in a discussion, it is always contextual...

We all want to live who we are... and I get that but in reality and a discussion... is it wise to admit you are vegetarian when surrounded by meat eaters and you are living on an island? Over time everyone does adjust and in the end 'hopefully' a person in such a situation will be accepted.
I told my older brother when I was 43 that I was a homosexual. He gave the old 'we always knew you were that way' and I replied "but no one mentions the 'H' word... he went quiet and then I said 'homosexual'. He knows that I'd had a relationship with a woman.. so it might seem confusing to him... but in the end I opened up and everything was fine.....fine to the point that he actually text me once and said, "you would love this guys legs I'm working with at the moment (my brother was a plumber) and I think his number is on the toilet wall".

As I read your post I come to the point and this applies to me also, the real thing is "do you want to be out" and then - whether you tell him or others, is your business.

And if you do tell others, there will be a point, maybe, where you realise or think 'why am I introducing my self and at the same time saying 'and I am gay/bi/?' ??

Homophobic !! or Homohate?? that is another story that I'm yet to come to terms with.

I wonder if people who are Homo/? phobic are actually more scared of their own emotions/feelings/desires in that direction.

For what it is worth and I've posted this before... I came out to a school mate after 35 years and he said 'I know'... but he confirmed that he was straight but never pursued another woman after a bad experienced many years...
At the time I was scared of loosing his friendship, very scared... yet today as I type this I realise how crazy that idea was, because, I'd not seen him or tried to contact him for 30+ years... so the perception was mine to deal with ....
This is me looking back now but at the time, it was real fear...

So after all that... I'm not sure how helpful my post is but I'm leaving it as it is..

Good luck!!

It's very helpful.
You gave me some new points to think about.
Your best part is, what is the benefit of going out? There's not much. As some other guy said, people comes and go and some straight guys don't want to know about all these details about a friend's private life.
After all of you guys have commented, I am more convinced It's myself concern. And will keep it to myself.
Who knows what's next in the future?
I don't know.
Thaks for your opinion!

 

[deleted16577781]

to keep pushing the envelope a bit more...

when I told my mother and father, many years ago... my mother said "I know"; my father threatened to punch me.. so I went into: ok. I'm making it all up...

When I think about these two reactions now.. many years later.. it is madness.

On one hand... why didn't my mother (parents) just talk to me about it? It angers me actually... that I've suffered under 'false ideas' and yet that is all she could say.. to her own son, her own flesh and blood... when I think 'why can't you ask someone this question?' (reverse roles) I'm filled with fear of stating the obvious, opening up something about the other person that could turn into a nightmare or as simple as 'it is non of my business'... but a parent? It is a bit perfectionist of me to go on about this.. but if a parent cannot ask you then something is wrong...... !!!

AND, what did my father think he was going to achieve by threatening me? By raising his hand to me... Everything would go away?

I know things can be very different now a days..

Maybe parents don't ask their children and hope that by not asking "it will go away"... even I live under this assumption / idea, but it is silly.. I recently broke through this in another area of my life and it was more to do with 'talking about money'.... another story...

But for some of me now.. I think... how can parents let their own flesh and blood suffer but I have no children and thus know idea but I know it is not good to be in denial ....

so I'm cycling back now into 'what is the benefit of coming out' or 'exposing oneself in a den of lions'... it is worth thinking about despite the inner push to come out or 'be who I really am' and that was the thing with both my brothers... to be more of 'me'... but it took years... despite being 'out' in my 'other life'... but I understand that in some cultures/countries... it is dangerous... in reality... but the question is 'do I want to be known as this type of person'... I'm saying that now and had never thought that in my life...