There is a difference between looking and leering
The venting about gym creeps thread
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Mercurygirl
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Try being 100 pound 5'1" female for a day, that is, one who'd have trouble fending off a teenage boy, and then get back to me. You may not see a problem or feel intimidated by these men but I sure do.
Creepy leering dudes who continue to find themselves in my orbit are a giant red flag and potentially represent all the horror stories that women hear about throughout their lives in regards to their sex. They bring me stress and fear and have me scanning my surroundings when making my way to my car.
It brings to mind that scary scene/revelation by Lecter in Silence of the Lambs ...
Hannibal Lecter: "First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?"
Clarice Starling: "He kills women... "
Hannibal Lecter: "No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?"
Clarice Starling: "Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir..."
Hannibal Lecter: "No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now."
Clarice Starling: "No. We just..."
Hannibal Lecter: "No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?"
That scene gives me chills and it sometimes comes to mind when my creep radar is going off because some weirdo is following me about and keeping me in his sights. I think, "he's coveting with his eyes ... is that all he wants?"
It's unnerving in itself, also very rude, but it's not just about being eyed by some stranger for females, it's the implications, the unknown, the what ifs, that scare us. Only a very naive and foolish girl ignores a man like that.
And I'm not talking about being overly sensitive to a guy checking me out. I'm totally cool with that, it's harmless and somewhat complimentary. We women know the difference between men being men and someone who from a behavioral standpoint appears to be not right in the head. Regular guys don't behave in that manner. They are in sync with behavioral norms within their sex. Their social male/female interaction doesn't trigger a red flag and I don't fear them.
I'm talking about the leering creep, in this case gym creep, who is following me around and every time I look over my shoulder or into a mirror his eyes are burning a hole into my ass. That dude scares me. Because unlike yourself, a fully grown man, I'd be pressed to defend myself from an attacking adult male. He's a physical threat to me.
Sure, you "see no problem at all" but for someone my size, my sex, it's a real and potential dangerous problem.
Just saying.
I think you misunderstand. Glances at physique are common and I think personally are kinda flattering. Voyeuring from creeps who go to the gym not to workout turn me way off. I don't go to the gym to show off; that's what pool parties and clubs are for. Besides, people who I want to look at me while I'm naked or lifting and the people who end up doing that are basically mutually exclusive. It's not the hot people who look at me extensively. It's the weirdos who fork over $30 a month to stare at younger ripped guys. I'll take "NO" for $1000, Alex.
I hear what you say, and I apologise if I've said anything unnerving or upsetting. I don't mean to. I'm really quite nice, and responsible, and sympathetic ... (if maybe a little too vain, and attention seeking...)
If people are literally following other people - of either gender - around, and making a nuisance of themselves, that's clearly wrong.
The original thing sounded more like people just looking, to me. At least, I wanted to read it that way. That may be because I now go to a very small gym which would be quite busy if there were 20 or 30 people in - sometimes it's less than 5. So, it's proportionately more friendly. Anyone going just to look at people would be isolated and eliminated immediately.
But I get it; just because it's outside my current experience doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Also, it highlights something I have not much thought about, in terms of the different experience of gay men and straight people. I've felt a bit vulnerable in my past, though I don't now, at 50. I'm still a short gay man (5'7) but I have taken boxing lessons recently and did karate a while back. Even without that I don't suppose many would mess with me, in reality. And I do accept that's different for many / most women, and that just because I think women have an absolute right to feel safe at all times, doesn't mean that's really how it goes ... And, just because I don't leer at women doesn't mean that straight men don't have an issue, whereby they have to separate "good" attention for women, from "bad" attention. I imagine that can be a little tough.
My apologies again for appearing to minimise the issue.
If people are literally following other people - of either gender - around, and making a nuisance of themselves, that's clearly wrong.
The original thing sounded more like people just looking, to me. At least, I wanted to read it that way. That may be because I now go to a very small gym which would be quite busy if there were 20 or 30 people in - sometimes it's less than 5. So, it's proportionately more friendly. Anyone going just to look at people would be isolated and eliminated immediately.
But I get it; just because it's outside my current experience doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Also, it highlights something I have not much thought about, in terms of the different experience of gay men and straight people. I've felt a bit vulnerable in my past, though I don't now, at 50. I'm still a short gay man (5'7) but I have taken boxing lessons recently and did karate a while back. Even without that I don't suppose many would mess with me, in reality. And I do accept that's different for many / most women, and that just because I think women have an absolute right to feel safe at all times, doesn't mean that's really how it goes ... And, just because I don't leer at women doesn't mean that straight men don't have an issue, whereby they have to separate "good" attention for women, from "bad" attention. I imagine that can be a little tough.
My apologies again for appearing to minimise the issue.
There's another thread in LSPG asking why the younger crowd do the "towel Dance" and don't use the showers etc. These are the reasons why. I hate pervs any kind. I don't care if you's skinny, fat, hot or not. A perv is a perv. period. I'm not politically correct. When I see such behavior I go after the bum. I will publicly shame the hell out of them. I will make a comment about them never working out and just hanging out in the locker room loud enough so everyone within earshot can hear me. The wrong guy to mess with. I'm trying to make a better person of myself and I don't have time for this type of behavior.
Honestly tho. A shame, too. Curious if this creep/towel dance feedback loop happens outside the U.S. in more sexually liberal/nonpuritanical parts of the world
twoton
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My gym is weird. It's basically on the "campus" where I work, and it's only open to people who work there. So....there's no stalking. Lots of times you never know how high up the pay scale the person on the next treadmill is.
I've definitely had this problem off and on as long as I've used gyms. Like, I get that people look at each other, but keep your eyes in your head. And the stalkers are the worst.
What also pisses me off are juiced out goons who think they have the right to rate and provide commentary to their asshole friends on every body that passes by them. I've even seen musclehead dipshits walk up to total strangers and criticise their skinny/fat/short/pasty white or whatever else physique and then tell them how to change it.
I've also been in the locker room changing from my towel to my street clothes and had dumbasses get all bent out of shape that my dick was passingly visible. Like, I get that we shouldn't wave our cocks in strangers' faces, but give me a break. Go complain about the guys turning the sauna into a bathhouse, or the dudes who congregate behind machines that women use, or the guys who make rage-gasm noises when they lift.
...man I didn't know I had so much bile in me about gyms... :s
What also pisses me off are juiced out goons who think they have the right to rate and provide commentary to their asshole friends on every body that passes by them. I've even seen musclehead dipshits walk up to total strangers and criticise their skinny/fat/short/pasty white or whatever else physique and then tell them how to change it.
I've also been in the locker room changing from my towel to my street clothes and had dumbasses get all bent out of shape that my dick was passingly visible. Like, I get that we shouldn't wave our cocks in strangers' faces, but give me a break. Go complain about the guys turning the sauna into a bathhouse, or the dudes who congregate behind machines that women use, or the guys who make rage-gasm noises when they lift.
...man I didn't know I had so much bile in me about gyms... :s
Mercurygirl
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I fucking hate those meatheads who make loud noises when they lift just as much as I hate those tennis bitches who scream out like someone is sodomizing them with a hot poker every time they hit the ball. "Look at me, look at me, look at me!" Ugh, shut the fuck up.
Haha...this kinda stuff was always the issue keeping me from going to the gym on a consistent basis. I finally found a gym that wasn't particularly popular with the "beautiful people" or the meathead crowd. I guess I prefer to get my workout done and get started with the day. If I want to ogle folks I can do it here at my convenience
Never had the stalking thing or the extended gaze but there's a lot of young guys at my gym who are generally ok but could be quite intimidating to newbie gym goers. One woman who is there regularly on her own weightlifting seems to get continually asked whether she needs a hand with her squat. It must be pretty annoying. i think she's a pt which makes it more insulting.
HAHAHA I can deal with the tennis sounds, i guess, but the guys that have every weight stacked on the machine and then they aggressively scream and moan while they lift..... UGH!!! I'm like "we get it, it's heavy but calm the fuck down! maybe it's a little too heavy bro!" lol
haha yes! those guys get on my nerves. the ones that really piss me off are the ones that do that with the dumbbells and then drop or throw them wherever afterwards. I just keep thinking "fuckwad, if you are strong enough to pick them up, you are strong enough to put them back down."
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I go to a military gym so there are guys and girls that seem to go just to watch other people. I know someone confronted me while I was on a spin bike against the back wall and I was looking in his direction. He didn't like a guy watching him but I told him I was on the bike first, I sit on the same bike put my headphones in and have one point I fix my eyes on and he happened to walk up and use the machine right under the spot. So I am not watching him he was being a douche and trying to cause a scene but all it did was make him look like an ass cause he looked right at me when he went to the machine.
So keep in mind some people fixate on one spot to get rid of any distractions and you may have walked in that area. If it was just staring at you just speak up, but make sure you are right and not just acting like an asshole
So keep in mind some people fixate on one spot to get rid of any distractions and you may have walked in that area. If it was just staring at you just speak up, but make sure you are right and not just acting like an asshole
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never has bothered me if they look stare, leer or speak to me. I'm proud of how I look and always take this as compliment. I don't have to date them blow them or jack them; just accept the fact they like how I look.
I've been going to gyms in three different major cities for the past 25 years, and I have never once witnessed either of these behaviors. Neither a juicehead commenting on other people's bodies, nor anyone complaining about nudity in a locker room. I've seen scads of the other stuff: dudes scoping women in really inappropriate ways, for sure. But I've also seen women stand up to the these losers, and I've seen other guys shut the loser down.
As for the sauna stuff... Any place guys are even remotely allowed to take out their cocks, cruising will happen. I saw one man really freak out about it, ranting to the management about what he saw in the sauna. The bitter irony is that he had a prior arrest for public indecency. (Found that out later after said dude kept pressing the matter with the management. They eventually revoked his membership, and simultaneously cracked down on sauna play time.)
Why do people live at the foot of an active volcano? Why do people live on an active Earthquake fault? Why do people go to a public gym when they don't have to? Why do people when they are out exercising or walking wear the tightest pants, or tops ever....?
Why do people google... Big, Huge Cock?
Total mystery to me
Why do people google... Big, Huge Cock?
Total mystery to me
If there were a million people in the world worried about cock size, Rob would be a rich bloke, unfortunately it's only us diehard big cock perverts, conversationalists, controversialists, and tangential freaks that keep him operating above the breadline, hopefully .
Oh, gyms, yeah, right...
Oh, gyms, yeah, right...
