This guy tried to jerk me off in the sauna room

[Melging]

Today I went to the gym and after my workout, I had a shower and then went to the sauna room. There was another guy there and we both basically just minded our own businesses. Then an old guy came in (looked about in his 50's or 60's, and I'm in my early 20's) and sat next to me and he seemed friendly, once the other guy left he started to remove his towel and I can see his dick, I don't care about nudity so that didn't bother me, what bothered me was he started to touch me and then started to jerk me off under my towel, I felt really uncomfortable and I didn't know what to say and he did it for 15 seconds and then I said "ok, I think you should stop" and he did and I booked it out of there.

I didn't want to tell the staff because I really didn't want this to be a big thing and I was really embarrassed, so I just left.

Do you think I should have said something? Or is it better that I just pretend it didn't happen? I just hope I don't see him anymore at the gym.

 

[ripsrips]

15 seconds is a long time...if you felt uncomfortable at the first touch you should have left or said something...and Yes, you should have told staff.
Same thing happened to me in my early 20's at a gym sauna, this old perv just reached out and grabbed my cock, I punched him and probably broke his nose...I told the staff.
The gym kicked him out and I found out months later he had done the same thing a few months prior and they had warned him.

 

[Melging]

Yeah, I should of, I just didn't know what to do and I'm not a violent person so punching him wasn't on my mind. I just never experienced something like this so I thought he would just stop after a few seconds.

 

[Melging]

If I see him again and he tries again then I will leave right away and tell the staff.

 

[ukthickmeat]

I don't know what country you are in, but in my country unwanted touching is called assult.

Its worth considering telling the staff privately. You don't have to go into detail with them.

 

[Matt_x]

This may sound harsh, but you need to man up. You cannot expect someone to stop doing what their doing if you do not give them the assertion that this is not remotely ok. And yes you should have reported him, he will continue to think he can get away with targeting age/ body frames.

 

[halcyondays]

Report him. Next time a guy sits that close move away from him. Next time a guy tries to touch you without permission stop him.

 

[Sexromasex]

what bothered me was he started to touch me and then started to jerk me off under my towel, I felt really uncomfortable and I didn't know what to say and he did it for 15 seconds and then I said "ok, I think you should stop" and he did and I booked it out of there.

So the problem is that, basically, this old men is not good in jerking you off, as you need 15 seconds for his hand to grab your dick, which is under your towel, to decide that you don't like it.

When it happened to me, many years ago, that someone touched my balls while I was in a sauna, I yelled and moved away his hands in an instant. And I don't need to report anything to anyone, because misunderstanding could happen. But 15 seconds is more that you liked it. So, next time, act as a man.

 

[Melging]

Like I said, I screwed up not saying anything at first and not telling the staff. the reason I didn't move away when the other guy left the sauna is because he wasn't doing anything and I wasn't going to assume this guy was a creep, everything just happened really fast. And when I said 15 seconds that was just an estimated guess. It felt more like 10 seconds. But still, I should have pushed him off the second he did something.

I now know for next time if this happens.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Like I said, I screwed up not saying anything at first and not telling the staff. the reason I didn't move away when the other guy left the sauna is because he wasn't doing anything and I wasn't going to assume this guy was a creep, everything just happened really fast. And when I said 15 seconds that was just an estimated guess. It felt more like 10 seconds. But still, I should have pushed him off the second he did something.

I now know for next time if this happens.

Just do not blame yourself. Learn what to do and not to do in the future, of course, but remember one key thing. Assault is never your fault.

 

[Dave NoCal]

That was sexual assault, plain and simple. It can lead to momentary confusion and paralysis. To the OP, this not remotely your fault. I do think you should report the incident because, I guarantee you, it were not this guy's first victim and you are unlikely to be his last.

 

[BetterFuture]

At best this was an invited sexual advance and at worst sexual assault. And waiting 15 seconds doesn't make it OK either... I'm sure you were stunned trying to figure out a way out. I'd report it.

 

[Matt_x]

If embarrassment still troubles you.. you can always make a unanimous call and ask to speak with a manager. Tell him/her what day the alleged incident happened, and around what time. Most gyms have a log of who goes in and out and given that you can provide a description than can further identify him; like tattoos or anything that made him stand out. This will be brought to the staff members attention that could alert authorities and hopefully soon booked for assault.

 

[BetterFuture]

At best this was an invited sexual advance

I meant UN-invited sexual advance... sorry about that typo... big difference.

 

[AlteredEgo]

If embarrassment still troubles you.. you can always make a unanimous call and ask to speak with a manager. Tell him/her what day the alleged incident happened, and around what time. Most gyms have a log of who goes in and out and given that you can provide a description than can further identify him; like tattoos or anything that made him stand out. This will be brought to the staff members attention that could alert authorities and hopefully soon booked for assault.

Without a victim/witness no one is getting booked for anything.

 

[CUBE]

It's odd to me one would not stop him at the first reach. I have had someone try this and said a firm no. All it took.

 

[hairynycstud]

Bro gotta stand up for yourself...tell him not interested and move away...some trolls think if say nothing.it means yes

 

[shard38]

I feel for you. I know from experience how unexpected this can be and that you sometimes don't know how to react. You didn't invite him, it wasn't a sexual enviroment (like a gay sauna) so he was totally out if line. Report him, so you know you took action to protect yourself and others there.

 

[Chrysippus]

he did it for 15 seconds and then I said "ok, I think you should stop"

You're kidding us, right? You just fucking sat there for fifteen seconds? Is your post another prank by those boys at Yale?

 

[playbiplay]

You're kidding us, right? You just fucking sat there for fifteen seconds? Is your post another prank by those boys at Yale?

Such questions would be unacceptable if asked of a woman who was in a similar situation, and quite frankly should be unacceptable when asked of a man. The same standards of consent apply regardless of the gender of those involved, and someone can take time to make up their mind or even change it in the course of sexual activity and it is still a valid choice.

Sometimes people are shy or vulnerable, particularly when they are naked and alone with someone. This is much more common with women than with men because of physical size and cultural differences but can sometimes be the case for men too. Having a stranger reach over and start handling your cock without saying a word would freak almost any guy out unless they were somewhere like a gay bath house where it is pretty much expected, and some people react to such surprise not by flinching or withdrawal but by freezing up.

The real problem is that society is so hung up about sex that people don't learn how to properly ask for...OR how to give or refuse...consent. At least the old guy stopped as soon as you said no...but he could've ASKED in some way first. And it has already been said how it might have been better to not wait for so long to respond to his advances too.

It's part of that viscous circle...the next generation is becoming more prude and hung up about nudity in part because of old trolls like this guy making unwanted advances...and the problem of unwanted advances is getting worse because of the prudeness making nudity more objectifying.