Today's mood
- Thread starter Thr3Dk1LL3r
- Start date
I'm sure she'd be understanding, and wouldn't want you to worry about this.Yesterday (10th) was the first anniversary of my mother's funeral...
...and I completely forgot.#GuiltySon
5 or 10 years, understandable...but 1 year...
I didn't remember until I crawled into bed.
I've been sulky since I woke up.
That’s ok. I like when I forget. Even if it’s only been one year. I think it’s your brain protecting you. Most years I remember and the day really hurts. All day long I remember what I was doing all day. The moment when we found out she wasn’t going to live through the day, the moment we found out she dies - everything. It hurts. Then some years, I miss the day and remember the day after and, like you, I feel guilty. But I think the mind says, “you couldn’t handle it”. It’s the first year. Maybe your mind thought it would be too much for you. Cut yourself some slack, dearest Willow.Yesterday (10th) was the first anniversary of my mother's funeral...
...and I completely forgot.
5 or 10 years, understandable...but 1 year...
I didn't remember until I crawled into bed.
I've been sulky since I woke up.
I found this on another site I'm a member of:
What You Can Do When You're Being Ignored
"The following may be reassuring:
Having felt that my usual donations to nonprofit groups didn't yield enough good, I wrote a blog post offering to give $100 to $500 to people who believed the money would help them make a difference. All I required was an email explaining what they’d do with the money. Guess how many responses I got?
One. Even when I’m giving away free money, I’m ignored. Perhaps it’s balming to know you’re not alone."
Smh.
But this:
As a psychiatrist I find that one of the commonest reasons for patients to have depression and anxiety is being ignored by someone important in their life.
The silent treatment or cold shoulder as its more popularly is when someone stops talking, starts ignoring and avoids social interactions with you.
Its one of the most ancient forms of psychological techniques used to express discontent against someone not listening or full-filling your expectations.
One of the most common uses of the same is a parent ignoring a naughty kid.
In modern day, it has transformed from a simple psychological technique to a form of "psychological manipulation".
Why is Silent treatment so important?
The success and happiness of most human being depends on society. How they are treated by their parents, spouses, relatives, friends, boss, fellow employees, etc.
The more importance a particular relationship has, the more the power of the silent treatment.
For example - when the ambani brothers were giving each other a cold shoulder during social gatherings it became instant national news.
Or
Actors who dislike each other, decide to ignore the presence of the other.
Why is silent treatment done?
Why do people tend to ignore others -
a. its a way to hurt other person without indulging in aggressive behavior.
b. one gets an excuse to avoid caring, respect or value of the other person.
c. Sensitive personalities are easily hurt and its the worst form of emotional abuse they are subjected to.. it instantly shows in their behavior.
d. The perpetrator can easily see the depression, restlessness, anger and low self-esteem it causes in the victim.
How to Dealing with it?
From my personal experience of counseling patients regarding how to deal with silent treatment, here are few tips
1. Initial reaction - the initial reaction of most people is frustration, anger, gossip, spreading bad words about the perpetrator.
This eventually leads the mind into a state of negativity, and creates an ego battle that cannot be resolved soon.
2. First step is too cool yourself.
3. Don't try to read the mind of the perpetrator - don't spend hours thinking why it is happening.
If you know the cause, then its great.
If you don't know the cause, then keep quiet.
4. Don't give the silent treatment back.
5. Lower your ego - in this ego game, people spend years not talking to each other. Its not worth it. Its not about who won or who lost.
Be the first to extend you arm - ask why is the other person behaving in such a way with you.
- tell them you care about them, and if they want some space of their own.. you will be more than happy to give to them.
- tell them that all communication lines are open with you, and encourage them to talk to you.
- if they still don't want to talk to you - then accept that they are being childish.
- try and let go as best as you can. Focus the least you can on him/her.
MIND MANTRA - IGNORING SOMEONE IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL GAME- if you stop playing your part of the game by not focusing on him/her and not getting angry, you might not be able to change their behavior, but you can detach yourself from the negative effects of the same.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
What You Can Do When You're Being Ignored
"The following may be reassuring:
Having felt that my usual donations to nonprofit groups didn't yield enough good, I wrote a blog post offering to give $100 to $500 to people who believed the money would help them make a difference. All I required was an email explaining what they’d do with the money. Guess how many responses I got?
One. Even when I’m giving away free money, I’m ignored. Perhaps it’s balming to know you’re not alone."
Smh.
But this:
As a psychiatrist I find that one of the commonest reasons for patients to have depression and anxiety is being ignored by someone important in their life.
The silent treatment or cold shoulder as its more popularly is when someone stops talking, starts ignoring and avoids social interactions with you.
Its one of the most ancient forms of psychological techniques used to express discontent against someone not listening or full-filling your expectations.
One of the most common uses of the same is a parent ignoring a naughty kid.
In modern day, it has transformed from a simple psychological technique to a form of "psychological manipulation".
Why is Silent treatment so important?
The success and happiness of most human being depends on society. How they are treated by their parents, spouses, relatives, friends, boss, fellow employees, etc.
The more importance a particular relationship has, the more the power of the silent treatment.
For example - when the ambani brothers were giving each other a cold shoulder during social gatherings it became instant national news.
Or
Actors who dislike each other, decide to ignore the presence of the other.
Why is silent treatment done?
Why do people tend to ignore others -
a. its a way to hurt other person without indulging in aggressive behavior.
b. one gets an excuse to avoid caring, respect or value of the other person.
c. Sensitive personalities are easily hurt and its the worst form of emotional abuse they are subjected to.. it instantly shows in their behavior.
d. The perpetrator can easily see the depression, restlessness, anger and low self-esteem it causes in the victim.
How to Dealing with it?
From my personal experience of counseling patients regarding how to deal with silent treatment, here are few tips
1. Initial reaction - the initial reaction of most people is frustration, anger, gossip, spreading bad words about the perpetrator.
This eventually leads the mind into a state of negativity, and creates an ego battle that cannot be resolved soon.
2. First step is too cool yourself.
3. Don't try to read the mind of the perpetrator - don't spend hours thinking why it is happening.
If you know the cause, then its great.
If you don't know the cause, then keep quiet.
4. Don't give the silent treatment back.
5. Lower your ego - in this ego game, people spend years not talking to each other. Its not worth it. Its not about who won or who lost.
Be the first to extend you arm - ask why is the other person behaving in such a way with you.
- tell them you care about them, and if they want some space of their own.. you will be more than happy to give to them.
- tell them that all communication lines are open with you, and encourage them to talk to you.
- if they still don't want to talk to you - then accept that they are being childish.
- try and let go as best as you can. Focus the least you can on him/her.
MIND MANTRA - IGNORING SOMEONE IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL GAME- if you stop playing your part of the game by not focusing on him/her and not getting angry, you might not be able to change their behavior, but you can detach yourself from the negative effects of the same.
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal
(Psychiatrist, Motivational Writer and Counselor)
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Photo of the day !!
to-morrows pre-advanced order
and now for
flied lice/soy sauce and shrimp/china sasage hole, in steamed rice cooker meal, lazy me yay
to-morrows pre-advanced order
and now for
flied lice/soy sauce and shrimp/china sasage hole, in steamed rice cooker meal, lazy me yay
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/happy-tuesday-calligraphy-note-card-534030400-57c3555f3df78cc16e978859.jpg)
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like'
everyones daily mood
often reflects reality
today me
just finished my last nights dinner dishes washup, in cold water, outside
end of NZ winter
all cool
havent died of all the supposed bugs around
after 20 odd years of doing similar
ahh placid, not flacid me duh
everyones daily mood
often reflects reality
today me
just finished my last nights dinner dishes washup, in cold water, outside
end of NZ winter
all cool
havent died of all the supposed bugs around
after 20 odd years of doing similar
ahh placid, not flacid me duh
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- Gender
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Tonight is one of those sleepless nights where you consider making life changing decisions.
creek47
Superior Member
Coffee is normally a solution to all of mornings problems
Got around to building some LEGO again, haven't done that in a while.
Finished the Tron: Legacy today. Looks pretty cool. The bikes can be removed from the stand and have moving wheels:
![P1260709.JPG]( "P1260709.JPG")
Built the Statue of Liberty yesterday evening. Gotta have to say she looks kinda cute. Until now I never would have thought to use the word "cute" in the same sentence as "Statue of Liberty".
![P1260713.JPG]( "P1260713.JPG")
Finished the Tron: Legacy today. Looks pretty cool. The bikes can be removed from the stand and have moving wheels:
Built the Statue of Liberty yesterday evening. Gotta have to say she looks kinda cute. Until now I never would have thought to use the word "cute" in the same sentence as "Statue of Liberty".
