Why are bottoms against fucking vers dudes?

[Onlyonly]

Hey guys
I’ve been trying to figure this out for a while. Please provide some insight.

Whenever you’re on a gay app you often find “bottom looking for total top, no vers” - why? As if a vers guy is less capable of fucking you just cuz he also takes it up the ass?
Is it internalized homophobia? You want your man to be a man and you’re the only one who can take it?

Please don’t take offense. I’m not tryi g to call anyone out. Just confused as to why being vers is not good enough for some bottoms.

 

[902369]

It’s both. I like to bottom and I like being with men who like to top. I will never want to top you. I don’t care or feel like reading things like “well, you have a penis too so why doesn’t it feel good for you to top.” It actually doesn’t. I don’t find sticking my penis into a wet, warm asshole to be all that attractive but I defiantly love being taken to pound town.

It also somewhat involves the idea of masculinity. I live in the United States and I already have my opinion that most men in this country aren’t that masculine in comparison to men from elsewhere (let’s compare Russian men to American men and guess which one is more masculine) which is why gay men here constantly hype up the ideal masculine partner because they are seeking something they don’t possess themselves.

Lastly, I’m tired of vers never flipping the same question to men who only prefer to top. This can be a topic of discussion as well.

 

[erpap]

for me it’s a mind thing I think. I tried topping and it was ok but never stay really hard but as a bottom I stay rock hard! Just my wiring I guess!

 

[Onlyonly]

It’s both. I like to bottom and I like being with men who like to top. I will never want to top you. I don’t care or feel like reading things like “well, you have a penis too so why doesn’t it feel good for you to top.” It actually doesn’t. I don’t find sticking my penis into a wet, warm asshole to be all that attractive but I defiantly love being taken to pound town.

It also somewhat involves the idea of masculinity. I live in the United States and I already have my opinion that most men in this country aren’t that masculine in comparison to men from elsewhere (let’s compare Russian men to American men and guess which one is more masculine) which is why gay men here constantly hype up the ideal masculine partner because they are seeking something they don’t possess themselves.

Lastly, I’m tired of vers never flipping the same question to men who only prefer to top. This can be a topic of discussion as well.

Very valid points.
I have a counter question:
What if the vers guy doesn’t want to be fucked by you and just happens to bottom for other people? Or has bottomed in the past?
What would you say to that?

A lot of vers guys will lie and say they’re total tops cuz bottoms be hella homophobic sometimes

 

[Onlyonly]

for me it’s a mind thing I think. I tried topping and it was ok but never stay really hard but as a bottom I stay rock hard! Just my wiring I guess!

I don’t know how to edit my original post but I meant it more as
Would you let a vers guy fuck you (and he doesn’t want to be fucked by you) and why do bottoms “avoid” vers guys. Not every vers guy wants to bottom every single time. I go months without craving a dick.

 

[902369]

Very valid points.
I have a counter question:
What if the vers guy doesn’t want to be fucked by you and just happens to bottom for other people? Or has bottomed in the past?
What would you say to that?

A lot of vers guys will lie and say they’re total tops cuz bottoms be hella homophobic sometimes

I wouldn’t be interested. I don’t know about the others, but I only like sex with 1 person and I prefer that person not to step out to find sex with others. I don’t like having sex with multiple people or having a parter that has sex with multiple people. Thus, since his needs can’t be fulfilled with me because I’m not interested in topping, it will not work.

I think it’s a legit thing when bottoms say they aren’t interested in versatile men and a lot of versatile men don’t see this which I don’t understand because when I used to have gay apps, versatile men made up the majority so why can’t they fuck each other? And it’s really telling when versatile men never have these same problems with men who exclusively prefer to top 100% of the time.

 

[Onlyonly]

I wouldn’t be interested. I don’t know about the others, but I only like sex with 1 person and I prefer that person not to step out to find sex with others. I don’t like having sex with multiple people or having a parter that has sex with multiple people. Thus, since his needs can’t be fulfilled with me because I’m not interested in topping, it will not work.

I think it’s a legit thing when bottoms say they aren’t interested in versatile men and a lot of versatile men don’t see this which I don’t understand because when I used to have gay apps, versatile men made up the majority so why can’t they fuck each other? And it’s really telling when versatile men never have these same problems with men who exclusively prefer to top 100% of the time.

Dating wise? Of course it wouldn’t really make sense - but that’s also what they tell bisexual guys... how can you date a guy when you also like girls?

It’s different scenarios I get it. I’m also bisexual lol There’s a lot of projecting being done here lol

 

[902369]

Dating wise? Of course it wouldn’t really make sense - but that’s also what they tell bisexual guys... how can you date a guy when you also like girls?

It’s different scenarios I get it. I’m also bisexual lol There’s a lot of projecting being done here lol

I don’t think just dating wise. If you have sex once and it’s good, you both will most like want to see each other again. And if you keep maintaining a fwb type of arrangement, I find it hard to believe that the one who is verse will either not ask to get fucked too or will not be out looking for other tops to blow his back out. I just find this hard to believe.

And as the bisexuals go, I mean realistically a lot of bisexual men just aren’t interested in a loving, full-time relationship with another man. You can look at the bisexual male forum on this website and see that. Don’t you remember the Kinsey scale about something like 10% of the population is 100% straight and 10% of the population is 100% which means that 80% of the population is bisexual to some degree? For such a large amount, hardly any of them are interested in long-term same sex relationships. And it’s texhnically not their faults because I understand that most societies are homophobic. You can’t blame someone who is homosexual for not wanting to be bothered with someone who is bisexual.

 

[Onlyonly]

I’m bisexual and have dated mostly men but I know I’m an innormality.

I kind of get where you’re coming from but it sounds like a lot of assuming. I can see those being concerns especially if you like to have sex with one person at a time and not go off rails.
I was speaking strictly fuck buddies/booty call type of relationships. I had a sub for almost two years. 6’4” football player type motherfucker and I never once wanted to be fucked by him. But I don’t bottom often, prob once or twice a year.
So I’m technically vers although I top 90% of the time.

 

[902369]

I’m bisexual and have dated mostly men but I know I’m an innormality.

I kind of get where you’re coming from but it sounds like a lot of assuming. I can see those being concerns especially if you like to have sex with one person at a time and not go off rails.
I was speaking strictly fuck buddies/booty call type of relationships. I had a sub for almost two years. 6’4” football player type motherfucker and I never once wanted to be fucked by him. But I don’t bottom often, prob once or twice a year.
So I’m technically vers although I top 90% of the time.

It’s assuming but it’s appropriate because like I’ve said, men who claim to be versatile never take issue with men who prefer to top 100% of the time.

Like has a top ever approached you? What do you do?

 

[Onlyonly]

Tops approach me all the fucking time dude.
Usually for bjs, I’m not much into bjs so I don’t usually play with them. But they’ll hit me up all the time. Some will ask if I bottom...

But I’ve fucked at least 10 “total tops” who I’m guessing are actually vers on the DL.

 

[find83]

It’s both. I like to bottom and I like being with men who like to top. I will never want to top you. I don’t care or feel like reading things like “well, you have a penis too so why doesn’t it feel good for you to top.” It actually doesn’t. I don’t find sticking my penis into a wet, warm asshole to be all that attractive but I defiantly love being taken to pound town.

It also somewhat involves the idea of masculinity. I live in the United States and I already have my opinion that most men in this country aren’t that masculine in comparison to men from elsewhere (let’s compare Russian men to American men and guess which one is more masculine) which is why gay men here constantly hype up the ideal masculine partner because they are seeking something they don’t possess themselves.

Lastly, I’m tired of vers never flipping the same question to men who only prefer to top. This can be a topic of discussion as well.

Sorry but they do it with strick tops it just takes a few encounters and it's just as annoying

 

[902369]

Tops approach me all the fucking time dude.
Usually for bjs, I’m not much into bjs so I don’t usually play with them. But they’ll hit me up all the time. Some will ask if I bottom...

But I’ve fucked at least 10 “total tops” who I’m guessing are actually vers on the DL.

So it’s just a bunch of versatiles fucking each other lol.

All I’m saying is that your question I notice is common among men who claim to be versatile but I never see versatile men asking things like “why are tops against fucking vers dudes?” Or I never hear about versatile men telling their top sexual partners, “hey, I like to fuck ass too, can we flip fuck?” Versatile men only ask these things towards bottoms which in my opinion contributes to bottom shaming and the stupid hierarchy that tops are more of an ideal sexual partner and thus should be excluded from this type of scrutiny.

I felt like what I said for me personally was legit. I never like to top therefore I would never want to have sex with, be fwb’s, or be in a relationship with someone who is versatile because I will not give him what he wants sexually today, 7 weeks from now or 10 years down the road.

 

[902369]

Sorry but they do it with strick tops it just takes a few encounters and it's just as annoying

Well if versatile men do, they certainly aren’t as loud with it as they are with their complaints against bottoms.

 

[Onlyonly]

Tops aren’t against fucking vers dudes.
Tops don’t have anything against fucking anyone who has a nice ass. Idk what tops you’ve encountered.

And I have asked tops to bottom for me and they have. Whether that makes them vers or a top who gets fucked every once in a while, Ian not really an issue lol

But I feel like bottoms limit themselves cuz they want a total top and are always claiming there are no tops around... if you love a dick up your ass why can’t the dude next to you?

Your points are valid, I may not agree with them but they’re valid.

 

[Onlyonly]

And yes it’s amazing to be able to get fucked and fuck other people. Obviously it’s a diff stroke for a diff kinda folk but it’s amazing.

I prob would prefer to date a vers guy m cuz you get the best of both works. But I could also be content never having a dick up my ass again or using a dildo lol

 

[Onlyonly]

Well if versatile men do, they certainly aren’t as loud with it as they are with their complaints against bottoms.

Because tops. Ever go around complaining they can’t find ass. Bottoms are the ones loud af talking about “there are no total tops around” when there are perfectly good vers dicks that can do the job.

 

[find83]

Well if versatile men do, they certainly aren’t as loud with it as they are with their complaints against bottoms.

Oh now they are LOL. Your points are valid because it's what fits you and your experience. I'm bi but top only maybe because of my short stature I always get vers guys asking to flip or trying to figure my ass which is a turn off. If I said I came to top that is what I'm doing I'm not gonna magically turn vers. I think some vers guy think that versatility is natural( especially on the gay side) so everyone wants to fuck and get fucked and it's due to internalised homophobia that you top only or being selfish why you bottom only. Which is not the case I met some bottoms who legit can't top to save their lives and it has nothing to do with the dick size.

 

[Onlyonly]

Oh now they are LOL. Your points are valid because it's what fits you and your experience. I'm bi but top only maybe because of my short stature I always get vers guys asking to flip or trying to figure my ass which is a turn off. If I said I came to top that is what I'm doing I'm not gonna magically turn vers. I think some vers guy think that versatility is natural( especially on the gay side) so everyone wants to fuck and get fucked and it's due to internalised homophobia that you top only or being selfish why you bottom only. Which is not the case I met some bottoms who legit can't top to save their lives and it has nothing to do with the dick size.

Say it louder

 

[find83]

Say it louder

Say it louder

What do you mean by that exactly?