Why are they trying to force sexual fluidity onto gay men

[NekkedMan]

This is something I keep hearing and I really don't understand it and have never observed it. When were gay men ever the "golden boy"? has it occurred to anyone that maybe the reason gay men are upset about fluidity agendas is because they keep hearing this condescending sentiment and it's totally untrue to anyone's experience? @nhguy78 had said something similar about gay men feeling "overshadowed". Do you guys really think that the grievances some gay men are sharing about this come from jealousy over the limelight in the great social oppression showcase extravaganza? I mean, does anyone even *like* that kind of attention; how could you accuse anyone of wanting that?

Well, speaking for myself, I don't want that kind of attention, I just want to live my life, which is what most of us want whether gay or bi or trans. Most of us don't want to be in the crossfire of a culture war (much less used as pawns). So I'm getting a little annoyed being told my opinions about gender politics have anything to do with wanting some kind of cultural attention back, because I never remember having that attention in the first place, and I never asked for it anyway. It's a great way to write off what anyone has to say about this and it's completely unfounded.

I totally agree some gays just want to live their life and some are just jealous when the spotlight shifts to others and big announcements are made of their identity as some kind of achievement -- I don't want to be written off either. I grew up always being told to be more creative, so 'golden boy' just means limelight of LGBTQ+ -- very often when people either welcomes or chastises all of us they will just say 'gay' instead of LGBTQ…
It's more about being TOLD that you don't represent them just because you have a preference or act a certain way or maybe don't want a label and yes I hear and I see this in the media, on sites, apps using the 'Gay' or masculine gay male as an example of non conformance which is totally pigeon-holing them. Although whose to say that the writers are even part of the community and maybe just bots.
I'm on your side and don't just soak in the limelight of 'Gay' meaning all of the community (China attacks 'gay' boy bands all the time), but there are some that do either fem or adonis. Some love it, others are just used to it. For the Captain Obvious: EVERYONE is different. This doesn't mean the Gay butch is innocent either. It's better to just get along.

 

[1373263]

One thing about "fluidity agendas" is that sexual fluidity does exist and in open societies will continue to exist, maybe becoming more accepted in time because some people are curious about same sex stuff.
I have a theory that people are wired to copy what their peers are doing sexually, especially when young- every one of my friends, "straight", "gay", "bisexual" or whatever label, male and female started developed their sexuality this way; exploring to find what worked best for them- sexual fluidity. Sometimes this goes on for a while; I have a gold star gay mate in his late 30s call me earlier in the month wanting to know what to expect from sex with a woman. Turns out things have developed with a woman he met through his work, and he is now making up for lost time; he says he is still attracted to guys but liking pussy and perfume at present.
None of this group feel the need to have their sexuality as a prominent part of their identity like the gay rights group of old did; in fact, generally they will be reticent about it to anyone outside a close circle.

 

[sslance]

And here's another example of the hypocrisy I come across so often from the "community", spending so long wanting to have your sexuality accepted and then you see those people discriminating against a different orientation. I'm too straight for the gays and too gay for the straights (but I'd expect that from them)

 

[Smallteaplant]

Liberals are going to be the death of us homosexual man.

This is something I keep hearing and I really don't understand it and have never observed it. When were gay men ever the "golden boy"? has it occurred to anyone that maybe the reason gay men are upset about fluidity agendas is because they keep hearing this condescending sentiment and it's totally untrue to anyone's experience? @nhguy78 had said something similar about gay men feeling "overshadowed". Do you guys really think that the grievances some gay men are sharing about this come from jealousy over the limelight in the great social oppression showcase extravaganza? I mean, does anyone even *like* that kind of attention; how could you accuse anyone of wanting that?

Well, speaking for myself, I don't want that kind of attention, I just want to live my life, which is what most of us want whether gay or bi or trans. Most of us don't want to be in the crossfire of a culture war (much less used as pawns). So I'm getting a little annoyed being told my opinions about gender politics have anything to do with wanting some kind of cultural attention back, because I never remember having that attention in the first place, and I never asked for it anyway. It's a great way to write off what anyone has to say about this and it's completely unfounded.

This is the argument that the lgbt movement never solved. Maybe it comes from contradictions that is inherent in sexuality and human nature. These queers think that by breaking the boundaries of sexuality and sexual identity, people will have freedom? The only people who will be hurt by this are homosexual men. Masculine men who have predominately heterosexual attractions are the ones that will win in the end. Followed by women. Again, cultural institutions and government need a healthy populace in order to function. Heterosexual sex is the most scalable way to achieve that.

I believe homosexual culture was great in the late 1800s and early 19th century. That was when homosexuality wasn't respectable or focus on representation. Representation doesn't matter in the long. Power and respectability does. If you read books about male homosexuality before 2020 queer culture. You'll know that power is the only way to survive if you were a homosexual man. Do you know how many gay Republicans pushed for anti-gay measure, while living it up privately as homosexuality?

Don't get me started on the fact that in the 1800s, some homosexuals were Nazis or sided with them against Magnus Hirschfeld. Because they had different views of the nature of homosexuality. Or fact that many of the past homosexual rights movement would be canceled because they had racist, sexist, and classist beliefs.


It's about respectability. I as a gay man want straight privilege. The queers have confused representation and media focus for power. Being a clown on the fringe will never help our cause.

One thing about "fluidity agendas" is that sexual fluidity does exist and in open societies will continue to exist, maybe becoming more accepted in time because some people are curious about same sex stuff.
I have a theory that people are wired to copy what their peers are doing sexually, especially when young- every one of my friends, "straight", "gay", "bisexual" or whatever label, male and female started developed their sexuality this way; exploring to find what worked best for them- sexual fluidity. Sometimes this goes on for a while; I have a gold star gay mate in his late 30s call me earlier in the month wanting to know what to expect from sex with a woman. Turns out things have developed with a woman he met through his work, and he is now making up for lost time; he says he is still attracted to guys but liking pussy and perfume at present.
None of this group feel the need to have their sexuality as a prominent part of their identity like the gay rights group of old did; in fact, generally they will be reticent about it to anyone outside a close circle.

Sex comes with a cost. It always does. Do you really think that think homosexual men will win in this game? Do you think that it's as simple as falling in love and having sex with someone? Consider this quote:

Yes, sex is traversed by power games, violent obscenities, etc., but the difficult thing to admit is that it’s inherent to it. Some perspicuous observers have already noticed how the only form of sexual relation that fully meets the politically correct criteria would have been a contract drawn between sadomasochist partners.

Every temptation, every choice of stimulation, every ritual of excitement, and every climax is influenced by the past and cloaked in its shadow. Sex acts are multi-determined and multifunctional, involving any combination of love-seeking, union, acceptance, mastery, reparation, compulsion, addiction, trauma repair, revenge, hatred and transcendence.

This is the Pandora's box that is sex. So the question is "How does one handled sexuality?" or "How does society handles sexuality? Does the desires of the few outweigh the stability for the majority?

And here's another example of the hypocrisy I come across so often from the "community", spending so long wanting to have your sexuality accepted and then you see those people discriminating against a different orientation. I'm too straight for the gays and too gay for the straights (but I'd expect that from them)

Sex is contradictory. It's policed because it's dangerous. Freud noted that humans' sexual nature is polymorphous perverse. Which is why most religions thought of it as a necessary evil or thought of ways to purify it.

 

[deleted4667851]

“None of this group feel the need to have their sexuality as a prominent part of their identity like the gay rights group of old did; in fact, generally they will be reticent about it to anyone outside a close circle.”

And this will result in every right we have fought for taken away. Fools simply need to look not to Russia and China, but to Florida!

again, I say that everyone has the right to find their own sexual orientation and celebrate it. However, until lesbians and gay men, or if you want to say, men in relationships with men and women in relationships with women have equal rights. And until single gay men and single lesbians have equal rights in all areas of life, including housing and employment. This fight is not over and everyone needs to stand up and be counted. Either as an ally, or as a member of the queer community it doesn’t matter they need to stand up and fight. No hiding no being coy. We are not in a post-gay world. Not in the US not in any other part of the world. Everyone has to stand up and fight and everyone has to stop voting for people that want to take away our rights.

 

[1373263]

It's about respectability. I as a gay man want straight privilege. The queers have confused representation and media focus for power. Being a clown on the fringe will never help our cause.


Sex comes with a cost. It always does. Do you really think that think homosexual men will win in this game? Do you think that it's as simple as falling in love and having sex with someone? Consider this quote:

I don't believe it is about power at all, simply people living their lives in a way that is right for them. Yes, homosexual prejudice still exists and will for some time, especially where a division is created between people based on sexuality.

WRT to your comment about Nazis in the 1800s, IIRC Hitler's Nationalist Socialist party was a product of the 1930's so not sure what your point actually is
.
I might be whatever label anyone would like to put on me, but getting out and waving a flag about it achieves nothing in this day and age in terms of privilege. What does achieve something is to quietly get on with life, dealing with those who have prejudice as they come along - including those elected to represent. As a group, my friends and I have experienced few issues, simply because we deliberately and carefully avoid identifying ourselves by our sexuality. Extreme behavior closes minds and that goes both ways; rights come with responsibilities.

 

[Smallteaplant]

And this will result in every right we have fought for taken away. Fools simply need to look not to Russia and China, but to Florida!

again, I say that everyone has the right to find their own sexual orientation and celebrate it. However, until lesbians and gay men, or if you want to say, men in relationships with men and women in relationships with women have equal rights. And until single gay men and single lesbians have equal rights in all areas of life, including housing and employment. This fight is not over and everyone needs to stand up and be counted. Either as an ally, or as a member of the queer community it doesn’t matter they need to stand up and fight. No hiding no being coy. We are not in a post-gay world. Not in the US not in any other part of the world. Everyone has to stand up and fight and everyone has to stop voting for people that want to take away our rights.

They're too Coomer brain to get the fact that sexuality is policed, especially homosexuality. I don't care if I get banned for speaking the my truth or views. There was a thesis by this queer theorist that stated that homosexuality is only tolerated in times of plenty and prosperity. I mean Weimar Germany gave way to Nazi Germany. Weimar Germany had open homosexuality, bisexuality, and transsexuality, but all that vanished when times got rough.

Homosexuals will probably never get equal rights. We have to acknowledge that homosexuality isn't truly equal to heterosexuality. Heterosexuality is privilege because it has something to offer the state and cultural intuitions. Outside of a few exceptional individuals, what does homosexuality have to offer or trade to society as a whole?

I don't believe it is about power at all, simply people living their lives in a way that is right for them. Yes, homosexual prejudice still exists and will for some time, especially where a division is created between people based on sexuality.

There is no such things as rights. Anyone's right can be taken away. Rights like equality are only useful fictions.


The division was always there. No matter the place or the era, sex was always regulated. The identity of the homosexual was created to defend people with same sex desires. Why are you being naïve on this subject? Talk to people from China, Korea, Nigeria, or even Iran. Or someone from the bible belt in the United States.

I'm from the Southern part of the United States so I'm sensitive or aware than you are. People in liberal places live in bubbles.

I might be whatever label anyone would like to put on me, but getting out and waving a flag about it achieves nothing in this day and age in terms of privilege. What does achieve something is to quietly get on with life, dealing with those who have prejudice as they come along - including those elected to represent. As a group, my friends and I have experienced few issues, simply because we deliberately and carefully avoid identifying ourselves by our sexuality. Extreme behavior closes minds and that goes both ways; rights come with responsibilities.

Good for you. You can afford to because the cost of homosexuality is probably very little. But I'm sure you would not last a day in place with rampant anti-homosexual sentiment. Must be nice.

 

[dreambridger]

I'm too straight for the gays and too gay for the straights (but I'd expect that from them)

This sounds more discriminatory than anything that's been said in this thread. I'm not saying you've never encountered a gay man who's given you grief for being bi, I'm aware that happens and that's not right, but can you point out where in this thread that discrimination has occurred that warranted you to say something like that?

 

[1373263]

Smallteaplant:
Reading comprehension doesn't seem to be your strong point for some reason:
You deny rights after my comment "simply people living their lives in a way that is right for them"
Nothing to do with rights which makes me wonder what your point actually is? That I could have used "correct" but that would be an awkward usage?
I believe I mentioned "open society" which would exclude China, Nigeria, Korea, Iran or any number of countries where authoritarian government exists. Sexual fluidity has nothing to do with any apparent regulation of sex...
Your apparent point about how sensitive you are because of where you are from is lost, mainly because your sentence is incomplete and your point isn't actually made. That said, the fact that I live in NZ tells you nothing about where I am from or background and experiences. I guess you have lived in small town NZ, like towns with 500 people in them to describe them as liberal :0 In short, your comment is patronising.
Finally, I think you missed the point so I'll repeat it to aid comprehension- in general, my network of friends have experienced little to no trouble, simply because we don't identify ourselves by our sexuality.

 

[Beegun84]

Merry Christmas everyone.

I just want to say that as someone who is living in a homophobic part of the world that I only make friends with "people who won't push the button to eliminate all GAY people if given a choice".

And I have asked all the people who I made friends with if they're sexually fluid and ALL of them said they're not fluid and I have studied abroad too so not just people from my own country. So I'm not sure if this fluidity is innate or it's socially-conditioned, because here in Asia the majority of people in the gay hook-up app are married to the opposite sex and my next-door neighbor Indonesia have just passed a law banning all sex outside marriage to curb this (including foreigners visiting the country).

I still think the world is largely homophobic but there are some sprinkles of bubble of safe spaces in the West. But it depends on each person's encounter. And even in 2022 the news about anything LGBT stays largely negative...

In Asia, it's different to the West, there's some people who think that if you're already having sex with people of the same sex, stay there.

 

[Smallteaplant]

Smallteaplant:
I believe I mentioned "open society" which would exclude China, Nigeria, Korea, Iran or any number of countries where authoritarian government exists. Sexual fluidity has nothing to do with any apparent regulation of sex...
Your apparent point about how sensitive you are because of where you are from is lost, mainly because your sentence is incomplete and your point isn't actually made. That said, the fact that I live in NZ tells you nothing about where I am from or background and experiences. I guess you have lived in small town NZ, like towns with 500 people in them to describe them as liberal :0 In short, your comment is patronising.
Finally, I think you missed the point so I'll repeat it to aid comprehension- in general, my network of friends have experienced little to no trouble, simply because we don't identify ourselves by our sexuality.

The argument about rights was meant for RazorUniverse. Sorry for the confusion. I also apologize for coming off as aggressive and condescending.

Your arguments are that sexuality fluidity exists, it will continue to exist, and in a open liberal society, sexual fluidity could become accepted. You don't deny that prejudice against homosexuality will still exist. You argue that people should live their lives and we should not identify ourselves with our sexuality. Those are your arguments, right?

I somewhat agree with your points. However, I argue that sexual fluidity will kill the justification for homosexual rights and tolerence. Homosexuals won their rights because they made the argument that it was biological determined and immutable. I suspect that people still subconsciously believe that homosexuality is a disease or something that people can be recruited or seduced.

I want to argue that sexual fluidity is regulated, especially in the United States. The government may not legislate laws against non-heteronormative desires and behaviors, but the community and culture do. Most parents will do everything in their power to ensure that their children end up in heterosexual relationships.

Due to trans kids, drag queen story hour, kids at drag shows, the lgbt community is under intense scrutiny. People think that trans people and drag queens want to recruit little children into the LGBT community. By advocating or acknowledging sexual fluidity, you're opening the doors for people to take my rights away.

Merry Christmas everyone.

I just want to say that as someone who is living in a homophobic part of the world that I only make friends with "people who won't push the button to eliminate all GAY people if given a choice".

And I have asked all the people who I made friends with if they're sexually fluid and ALL of them said they're not fluid and I have studied abroad too so not just people from my own country. So I'm not sure if this fluidity is innate or it's socially-conditioned, because here in Asia the majority of people in the gay hook-up app are married to the opposite sex and my next-door neighbor Indonesia have just passed a law banning all sex outside marriage to curb this (including foreigners visiting the country).

I still think the world is largely homophobic but there are some sprinkles of bubble of safe spaces in the West. But it depends on each person's encounter. And even in 2022 the news about anything LGBT stays largely negative...

In Asia, it's different to the West, there's some people who think that if you're already having sex with people of the same sex, stay there.

Merry Christmas.

 

[AtlasStumbled]

asexuals in homoromantic marriage

I really hope there'll be (more) TV dramas about that. More homoromantic characters in fiction.

 

[Beegun84]

I really hope there'll be (more) TV dramas about that. More homoromantic characters in fiction.

Not TV dramas on the BLACK SCREEN/BLACK MIRROR but on the big white screen a.k.a movies. But that's still not happening.

Half of Love, Simon isn't about Simon but about a straight guy. Bros isn't actually a romcom like Tickets to Paradise and that movie is actually criticizing its own audience and furthermore the first line on that movie is a total utter lie. Spoiler Alert is the usual gay weepies they usually released in the fall for Oscar chances. That's due to MPAA still being homophobic in 2022 and only allows one gay kiss for a PG13 rating. Not that far off from my homophobic country SIngapore which slapped 18+ rating on anything with gay content.

Sadly Red, White and Royal Blue is released straight to streaming.

 

[1373263]

The argument about rights was meant for RazorUniverse. Sorry for the confusion. I also apologize for coming off as aggressive and condescending.

Your arguments are that sexuality fluidity exists, it will continue to exist, and in a open liberal society, sexual fluidity could become accepted. You don't deny that prejudice against homosexuality will still exist. You argue that people should live their lives and we should not identify ourselves with our sexuality. Those are your arguments, right?

I somewhat agree with your points. However, I argue that sexual fluidity will kill the justification for homosexual rights and tolerence. Homosexuals won their rights because they made the argument that it was biological determined and immutable. I suspect that people still subconsciously believe that homosexuality is a disease or something that people can be recruited or seduced.

I want to argue that sexual fluidity is regulated, especially in the United States. The government may not legislate laws against non-heteronormative desires and behaviors, but the community and culture do. Most parents will do everything in their power to ensure that their children end up in heterosexual relationships.

Due to trans kids, drag queen story hour, kids at drag shows, the lgbt community is under intense scrutiny. People think that trans people and drag queens want to recruit little children into the LGBT community. By advocating or acknowledging sexual fluidity, you're opening the doors for people to take my rights away.



Merry Christmas.

TLDR = We don't identify by our sexuality, or flaunt it, or draw attention to ourselves, so few problems.

We are people living normal lives who happen to be attracted to the same sex or both sexes, and others in the community either don't know or don't care because it isn't their business and we don't make it their business. They know and relate to us us as people rather than a sexuality with all the baggage that it may carry.

I would argue that the emerging scientific evidence would support the concept of a sexual continuum and a binary straight/gay concept may be outdated. Given the outcomes of this research, one would expect to see sexual fluidity in open societies where sexuality is not repressed and this is the case.
The fact that such toys etc which are supposed to promote sexual fluidity exist and are being offered for sale is twofold- demand, and marketing. Quite simply, people buy them from people who want to sell more of them.

Christmas was great this year down here, and I'm sorry we ate Lambsie...

 

[Smallteaplant]

TLDR = We don't identify by our sexuality, or flaunt it, or draw attention to ourselves, so few problems.

I would argue that the emerging scientific evidence would support the concept of a sexual continuum and a binary straight/gay concept may be outdated. Given the outcomes of this research, one would expect to see sexual fluidity in open societies where sexuality is not repressed and this is the case.
The fact that such toys etc which are supposed to promote sexual fluidity exist and are being offered for sale is twofold- demand, and marketing. Quite simply, people buy them from people who want to sell more of them.

Christmas was great this year down here, and I'm sorry we ate Lambsie...

I’m open about my sexuality, but I don’t flaunt it or draw attention to myself. You act like it is simple. Labels exist because we live in a society. Were things better for men who had same sex desire before the labels exist?

Your argument is ignoring the fact that sexuality comes with social cost. The majority of women like the idea of their men being with other men. I’m black and most black women are biphobic. Most men identify as heterosexual so that they can signal to women that they don’t have any desire for the same sex.

Another thing, labels protect homosexuals because homosexuality and heterosexuality aren’t equal in nature. One union produces children and the other doesn’t. Governments and cultural institutions have more interest in promoting one than the other.

 

[nhguy78]

Hmmm... The talk of Weimar vs The Reich... Open homosexuality vs murderous homophobia...

Imagine what could have happened here in America if 2020 turned out differently. We had a taste of it 2016-2020.

 

[1373263]

I’m open about my sexuality, but I don’t flaunt it or draw attention to myself. You act like it is simple. Labels exist because we live in a society. Were things better for men who had same sex desire before the labels exist?

Your argument is ignoring the fact that sexuality comes with social cost. The majority of women like the idea of their men being with other men. I’m black and most black women are biphobic. Most men identify as heterosexual so that they can signal to women that they don’t have any desire for the same sex.

Another thing, labels protect homosexuals because homosexuality and heterosexuality aren’t equal in nature. One union produces children and the other doesn’t. Governments and cultural institutions have more interest in promoting one than the other.

I don't recall expressing simplicity, because it isn't. It may be simple concept but in practice it isn't easy; it's a skill that comes with experience and I often think that gay and bi people are much better at working other people out, maybe because they have to?
There are plenty of gay and bisexual people who feel that the world should make way for them because they need to express their sexuality, but they ignore the fact that most people don't identify themselves by their sexuality and to do so is another way to create division and risk a backlash.
I don't ignore the social cost aspect but it simply isn't my argument. Many women I have met in NZ are uncomfortable with bisexuality too, straight women more so.
Lets not get into labels, it's nothing to do with sexual fluidity.

Enjoy Christmas, and I'm sorry about Lambsie. She was tasty though...

 

[Smallteaplant]

Hmmm... The talk of Weimar vs The Reich... Open homosexuality vs murderous homophobia...

Imagine what could have happened here in America if 2020 turned out differently. We had a taste of it 2016-2020.

Here is the thing. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes. The Nazis were sublimated homoeroticism with the emphasize on family and the state. Homosexuality was tolerated under certain conditions. It was mostly masculine, nationalist Nazi's killing open effeminate homosexuals.


The Other Gay Rights Movement
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_Eigene
Amazon.com: Homosexuality and Male Bonding in Pre-Nazi Germany: the youth movement, the gay movement, and male bonding before Hitler's rise: 9781560230083: Kennedy, Hubert: Books

I don't recall expressing simplicity, because it isn't. It may be simple concept but in practice it isn't easy; it's a skill that comes with experience and I often think that gay and bi people are much better at working other people out, maybe because they have to?
There are plenty of gay and bisexual people who feel that the world should make way for them because they need to express their sexuality, but they ignore the fact that most people don't identify themselves by their sexuality and to do so is another way to create division and risk a backlash.
I don't ignore the social cost aspect but it simply isn't my argument. Many women I have met in NZ are uncomfortable with bisexuality too, straight women more so.
Lets not get into labels, it's nothing to do with sexual fluidity.

Enjoy Christmas, and I'm sorry about Lambsie. She was tasty though...

I view homosexual like race. The gap between black Americans and white Americans is huge. Due to nature or nurture, there will always be diversions. Shrugs. Merry Christmas.

 

[Smallteaplant]

Another thing, straight women will write paragraphs about how man are sexually fluid aren’t worthy to date, marry, or even have sex with.

As a gay guy, it feels like straight women are the Grand Duchesses of love and sex. They get to take the good meat and fruits, while gay men are the paupers. I don’t want to be a pauper taking straight women’s scraps or trash. I don’t care if I’m biphobic, I want the same rights and privileges as straight women. Until straight women as whole to the idea of bisexual men and men with sexual fluidity are trash or deviants in my eyes. I’m going to act like just like them. The only time I’ll make an exception, is if I convert a straight men.

Sorry, not sorry.

 

[johnjohnston]

As someone who has experienced fluidity but also has issues with the low-key homo shaming I see being promoted nowadays… this is a complicated topic.

First, one of the big problems is the hypocrisy and double standards that are present in media. Gays get shamed for obsessing over “straight guys” (and sometimes rightfully so), but there’s still a ton of cache in having some proximity to heterosexuality. While in entertainment we see a good amount of “gays” experimenting but we see very little of that from “straight” male characters in entertainment outside of pornography or turning tricks. There’s implicit male homo-shaming in that double standard. While a lot of filmmakers stay looking for “straight presenting”/straight-ish actors for queer roles. They deny it, but they purposely look for those dudes to cast. While a lot of queers covertly hate “gays” and resent homosexuality because of their own traumas or insecurities or questioning. They don’t want to be real about that, but that resentment is prominent as hell, especially in the entertainment industry. We still don’t see enough male-male homo romanticism or commitment in entertainment. So much are still basic “coming out” stories or being in a hetero relationship but discovering you’re into dudes or sex-focused stories. A lot of queers in the entertainment industry have a lot of issues with “gay”, their sexuality, their traumas, their insecurities. And it reflects a lot of the entertainment we see and a lot of casting.

I will say that only in the 90s did people become obsessed with “gay” having to mean being entirely inherently homosexual your whole life. And let’s be real, a lot of homosexuals aren’t even that genuinely into their sex beyond sex. So, we should be celebrating guys who are bisexual/pan sexual/experiences degrees of fluidity but have no shame towards homosexuality, homo-romanticism, homo-commitment and towards “gay”. We do need to accept just how varied sexuality is, how individual many people’s sexual journeys are, the traumas and struggles people go through, and the nature of the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum. My biggest issue is that some folks are pretending as if we now live in a world free of homophobia, that internalized phobias don’t exist, hetero pressures, homo shame, queer insecurities, masculine fragilities. Those things are still big issues no matter a man’s identities or lifestyle or dimensions. You cannot try to talk about or promote fluidity without also delving into those things earnestly. We also need to accept that, yes, a lot of queers experience fluidity and contradictions, but there is no shame in being inherently homosexual your whole life and/or wanting to live an entirely homo lifestyle. Some queers are acting as if that’s a problem.