Why do older men become bi-curious

[VoyeurEx]

I think I agree with most of what has been said so far.

In his book "The Bisexual Option" Fritz Klein argues that sexual orientation can change over time. This seems to be at odds with the "born this way" argument. Can they both be right? What I suspect is happenning is selective expression and repression, i.e. someone born with the capacity for attraction to both sexes does have an element of choice over which one he acts on at any given time.

So go back to childhood and we learn that mummies and daddies love each other, get married and have children like us and we start to project ourselves into that future. Then we discover we have at least some level of attraction to both sexes. Finally we get some level of negativity about same sex attraction. Exactly how much depends on when and where you are at the time those feelings become aparent. So that probably means choosing the straight path, i.e. acting on your attraction to women and repressing the attraction to men, at least for the time being. That choice may even be unconcious.

Then, after a good few years, she is not as interested in sex as she was at the start, especially if she has reached the menopause, and our minds start to wander. Apart from the repressed male attraction something else comes into play, summed up by this joke:

What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
A U-haul (for moving in).
What does a gay man bring on a second date?
What second date!

If a woman fancies you she will want a romantic relationship. Sex will hopefully be part of that but she is unlikely to be satisfied with being friends who occasionally have sex. If you start an affair with another woman she will eventually want you to leave your wife so one or other of them will be disappointed and there will be a whole load of stress.

Men, on the other hand, seem much happier to meet for occasional sex whether in the context of a friendship or otherwise. You can meet another man for some fun and just leave it as that. It's simply sharing the male need for release.

WOMAN TO MAN:
You FUCK with me...YOU STUCK with me

 

[steel33]

Before I was married this last time (last marriage ended in my wife's passing) I made sure my current wife knew where I was. She knows and pretty much gets it. But she's the only one.

We have done a little swinging but not a lot. So the take away I get from my experience with swingers who often profess to be open:

- Bi women are hot, bring them on.

- Bi guys are usually a no. Almost all couple and single guy profiles list the male as straight. Even if the guy is bi but some bi profiles will list a willingness to play with a bi or bi curious guy, so this is sometimes a code.

-My guess is way more guys are bi in the lifestyle but don't list that because they are not out to their women. And most women don't want that.

Most women can't wrap their heads around bisexual males for all the reasons listed here by others. Religious beliefs, societal norms, peer pressure,,......

I do think it is getting easier for others generally but as long as people use religion and hate as a source of power bias will always be around.

 

[blonk]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

I've got this notion that preference is closely associated with hormones. But also culture. Not gonna get into it, though. People get testy....

 

[Mister2101]

A lot of other bisexual guys here similar in age to me (40's) have already made these points, so I'll just say my experiences were similar:

- 1980's US society was very unaccepting of gay sexuality
- Being gay was seen as a negative/insult; people were killed over it, families disowned kids & tossed them out of homes
- If you were even a fraction of a percent less than 100% straight, you were labeled "gay"
- Bisexuality was seen as "being confused" and "not real"
- Sex Ed in the 80's was (at least in my region) FEAR based. Have sex once, bam, she's pregnant and you both have every STD. And those gays? Well, when they have sex they might as well be playing Russian roulette.

Yet, ever since puberty I knew I was attracted to both sexes. I had an internal 'gay panic' moment, probably weekly, throughout junior high, high school, and even early college (I stayed local and lived with my parents). I'd find a guy attractive, then have an argument with myself about it. I can think of 3 half-hearted attempts I made in y teens and 20's at reaching out to another guy, and either they were completely straight or as repressed as I was. Each guy chose to laugh it off as some silly horseplay.

By my 30's I'd pushed down my bisexuality for so long it became habit. I still found guys attractive, but the idea of acting on it was out of the picture.

Then, when I hit my mid 40's something just sort of unwound itself in me. Was it age? Was it seeing society in general being more accepting of a spectrum of sexuality? Was it 30 years of repression finally hitting a breaking point? I don't know. All of them? Some of them?

I think being open about one's sexuality is far healthier than the repression I lived with. And I know there are places in the US and around the world that are still as bad. But at least some progress has been made.

well said.......

 

[3150771]

I’m my 20s I never thought I’d be jerking to gay muscle porn and camming with guys but here I m

 

[1119457]

Because it's easy to find a guy to suck me off . Seems like guys know how to suck way better than girls , but im open minded , if there's a pretty cocksucking girl that can change my mind lol . Yeah but for me it's just because i can find a guy to suck me off everyday either online or at the bookstore in Garden Grove California . Always a cocksuckers in OC hit me up

 

[Cecil56]

Woke up camping with a friend and he was jerking me off. After I came, returned the favor.

Thought about and jerked to the memories for many years, even after marriage and pussy.

Never got it out of my head. Got divorced after 15 years and tested the waters again.

Still not into oral or anal, but I do like trading handjobs. Fun to watch each other cum.

 

[Old cream lick]

There could be a number of reasons why, not even sure of my own, I did experience with playing w/friends an close relatives in my youth, had a few experiences before getting married while in the Navy, now here in my 60's with the feeling getting stirred up, have to admit I do like seeing a nice cock get hard then start to seep or drip out pre cum,then I want to lick an taste it

 

[4208171]

Woke up camping with a friend and he was jerking me off. After I came, returned the favor.

Thought about and jerked to the memories for many years, even after marriage and pussy.

Never got it out of my head. Got divorced after 15 years and tested the waters again.

Still not into oral or anal, but I do like trading handjobs. Fun to watch each other cum.

Cool man - always so fun to milk someone’s cock !

 

[figgnewton]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

I feel the same but haven't tried cock or anything close to that. Want to but need the right person and doubts about after I did it... guilt

 

[SouthPole]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

I have wondered about this phenomenon for a while too. For my entire adult life I have been completely heterosexual; in college, during my dating years & throughout my marriage (I'm divorced now). One realization I came to was that my sexual awareness & interests have evolved throughout my life.

I recall as a kid I would secretly browse the lingerie pages in the Sears catalogue with titilated interest in what those smiling models were hiding just on the other side of that white cotton. Then as a teenager, a discarded Playboy magazine was a treasure to be stored away, taken out when no one was around, and sometimes shared with my buddies as some sort of trophy!

In my twenties I could not get enough of Penthouse Forum stories and naked women in garter belts & other lingerie. It was pretty much a one-on-one relationship between me & the two-dimensional object of my desires.

Then came the proliferation of porn which opened my eyes, fantasies & experiences to some things I'd never even considered; fetishes, cross dressing, people into rubber & feet & even people having sex with animals! WTH???

One thing it did expose me to was a lot more male genatalia than I had ever seen. And women clearly enjoying the sex as much as the men. I began to notice that, like the women I had admired for so many years, in different ways, the men had different ...... attributes as well. And while not drawn to the men, sexually, I did note that which was asthetically appealing .....

For me, a real transitional moment came when I read a story in a Hustler magazine ("The Big Suck", circa 1978) which was a story about a house wife who happens upon a neighbor in a laundry room and ends up giving him a blow job. I cannot honestly recall if the wife ends up telling her husband about her encounter (I think she did & he asks for more details, leading to their own amazing sex with I'm encouraging her to take the next step & take that big tool inside her ..... or maybe I made that part up!) LOL!

Reading that story about this married woman, brazenly enjoying this magnificent cock, which "she" (I now realize this piece was probably written by some staff writer) described in great and erotic detail, yielding to her lust, awoke two very strong reactions within me, which remain to this day; 1) the turn on of a married woman setting aside her vows of charity in favor of her carnal desires and, 2) her appreciation of, no, reverence for this magnificent cock.

From that point forward I thought of others guys' dicks differently and actually began to consider what I found attractive (or not) in penises. (Over the past 10-15 years I am happy to say that I definitely know what I like!).

Obviously, having found this website and so many people who share my appreciation of cocks, my fascination has endured. I am a bit frustrated to say that I have never acted on my curiosity to this day. Perhaps some day I will. Until then I keep admiring and complimenting.

 

[AHandfull]

An early childhood experience with my best buddy still today helped shape an early acceptance of everything gay or bi. So bro jobs, hand jobs, just helping a guy out has always been in my wheelhouse. I am emotionally and physically attracted to women and to be perfectly honest, I would probably prefer to have the same sexual energy and experiences with women. It just doesn't happen that way.

I met another married guy, we exchanged messages for a while, vetted the STD stuff, decided we were both safe, we met at my place and stood there face to face, clothed, crazy sexual tension, and began the slow undress/frot and then raced to the bedroom and loved each other with our hands and our mouths unconditionally. No hangups, no boundaries, two animals working hard for the other one's pleasure, I was going to blow first so I straddled his legs and blew all over his cock and he used my lube to finish himself off a few seconds later.

Replace that fantasy with a woman with that same energy. We meet at the door, face to face, clothes start flying, I pick her up and whisk her off to the bedroom, she starts to suck on my cock, I flip around and we are in a 69, I tell her I have to blow, she says please blow all over my breasts while I finger fuck myself and we collapse in a heap. We get up, fist bump, done. Really?

That's the way it is with guys for the most part and that is not the way it is with women. There are way more strings attached and just as many societal and cultural and safety related concerns. We see naked men in the locker room every day. I would LOVE to be in a locker room with naked women. Doesn't happen. So guys are easy, gals are not. I have had one female affair in 27 years of marriage and it lasted two weeks and we had crazy, crazy uninhibited sex. Just as satisfying as a male experience. She was ridiculous, but she was rare. So I think that as we age, we gravitate towards easy and those who will gratify the sexual animal in us? Our accessible and willing sexual equals?

 

[AHandfull]

.....not so much increasingly gay or increasingly bi but just willing to share sexual intimacy with someone with the same sexual energy and desires and unselfishness as you. Bisexuals are the ultimate lovers!

 

[ReproductiveOrgansDontMatter]

For me it was because my wife got boring...and she thought it was hott

 

[MagnumV]

Well, I know I was bisexual when I was in my early twenties. I'm married and love my sex life, tho I wish teh wife would allow us to bring in a sexy man once in a while. Anyways, sex is important to most men. Understanding why a man needs to cum and how good sex can be with another man.....I just they get over the fears as they get older, and just say,'Fuck it!"

I think this is true.

 

[ColonelLingus]

i actually was taught in a college health class that men over 50 engage in more bisexuality than any other. I have no idea where he got this info and he really didnt explain it further but i never forgot it.

 

[Cecil56]

Just finished posting today's happenings in another forum. Maybe jerk material for another curious guy.

I was on the receiving end of a handjob today. Played with each other's cock's at a cruising park known for that activity. Mexican dude pulled up and parked beside me. Made eye contact several times, so I knew the game was on and took action.

Nice day about 60F, so I walked over to his car and made small talk. After a couple minutes, I pulled out my semi-erect cock and he grabbed it to stroke from his window. It got fully erect quite quickly, so he invited me inside. Dropped my pants, then asked him to take out his cock. We played with each other, he was uncut as I suspected and quite thick. I'm cut and requested lube and he had some to apply and was stroking me.

Then a man and woman showed up and unloaded bikes for a ride, so we had to lay low for a few minutes. He was still playing with me. Might sound strange, but the public and possibility of getting caught is a huge rush for me! Really trips my trigger!

They finally rode off and he got me to cum all over his hand shortly. Would like to meet him again and jerk him off as well. Would like to see that uncut cock cum. We did exchange email addresses, so hopefully it can happen again.

I'm not really into blowjobs either way with guys, however I do enjoy mutual masturbation.

 

[Anime2]

I don’t think older men become bi curious I honestly think a lot more men around the world have some sort attraction towards men however big or small but society doesn’t allow men to act on those feelings like women are allowed to. A lot of men are doing things in secret because they don’t want to be labelled as gay. If men had the same privilege as women to experiment and not be labelled then you would see a lot more guy on guy action out in the open

 

[Anime2]

Maybe what happens is when these men who have always found men attractive get older they just don’t care anymore

 

[Anime2]

I feel the same but haven't tried cock or anything close to that. Want to but need the right person and doubts about after I did it... guilt

A lot of guys can relate