Why do older men become bi-curious

[kcdave]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

 

[BGC]

Because the wives no longer want sex!!

 

[flynn]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

 

[bi_todd]

This is very common in my experience, for multiple reasons:

* Midlife crisis spawns a motivation to satisfy youthful desires

* Windows of opportunity start closing, creating a certain desperation

* Older people care less about opinions of others

* At a certain age you start feeling invisible in life, so the attention can be reassuring

* Experiencing newness is energizing (emotionally, physically, and mentally)

 

[nedstark]

I'm a male, early 40s... I just don't give a shit anymore- I know who I am. And I've eaten so much vanilla ice cream the past 25+ years.

 

[Trevor]

It is probably not so much that they become bi-curious it is just that much of he stigma surrounding homosexuality is gone now so they say WTF and act on urges they have repressed for decades.

Most of us over 30 grew up at a time when being gay or for that matter even being perceived as being gay was the absolute worst thing you could be. When I was in high school in the mid 1990s calling someone a "faggot" was the ultimate insult. I am sure there were other other gay/bi guys in my senior class back when I was 18 but I have no idea who they were because they kept it to themselves in fear of being killed like Matt Shepard.

 

[halcyondays]

It's because men of ours and most generations were indoctrinated to be 100% straight from a very young age. Shame and guilt were used to suppress any iota of same-sex attraction. The worst insults slung at us questioned our manhood or masculinity. It's classic sexual repression.

As I've said many times before indoctrination is a ten dollar word for brainwashing.

The straight-jacket (no pun intended) of your repression is finally lifting. Even if you never act on it, enjoy it.

 

[latinluva]

Well, I know I was bisexual when I was in my early twenties. I'm married and love my sex life, tho I wish teh wife would allow us to bring in a sexy man once in a while. Anyways, sex is important to most men. Understanding why a man needs to cum and how good sex can be with another man.....I just they get over the fears as they get older, and just say,'Fuck it!"

 

[submarine]

I think from what i've seen and learned over the years, a lot more men are bi than we say and after bringing up families and whatever get to a point in their life where they feel more confident in themselves. the fact a lot of wives do pull back on the sex after babies can only help make a guys eye wander. a lot of guys i've spoken to over the years don't feel the same about "messing about" or having some fun with another bloke the way they would about actually having an affair with another female. just my observations. older i get the more men i fancy. what would have been 1 in 20 now is a lot higher lol that could be the failing eyesight, who knows.

 

[GoldenOldies]

Because we love the best of both World's

 

[Allen67]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

Great question. I have spent the last 18 months wondering where this came from and is it just me? A form of mid life crisis? Bored with our wives/sex lives? I don't know. I'm just going with the flow and trying to learn and experience as much as I can.

 

[Cappy_Dick]

I've found that many older men who become bisexual, do so because so many older women loose interest in sex. Not because they were a life long closeted gay. The formula is pretty simple. A guy needs his cock sucked. Women his age have either lost interest, or use sex as a manipulation. they start to think that letting a guy do it wouldn't be so bad and returning the favor wouldn't be so bad to perpetuate the exchange. Most actually find after trying it that they enjoy giving as much as they do getting. These guys aren't interested in more than a friendship with secret head swapping. They aren't looking for a relationship. They aren't interested in anal sex. Just a I'll suck yours if you suck mine situation. Most of these guys either had no prior interest with guys, or may have had a buddy they did the same thing with when young and weren't getting any pussy. Many guys had buddy play when young, but largely forgot about it when they started getting pussy on a regular basis, When the pussy supply as older men starts getting few and far between, what they had done many years ago, or what they knew some of their buddies did starts sounding very appealing. It's like a lesbian friend of mine once said: A hand is a hand and a mouth is a mouth. Friends helping each other cum is just sex. It has nothing to do with being straight or gay.. We need less labels and more understating in the world,

xx

 

[mrbigdoc]

I didn't start with men until my early sixties. I still get enough sex from my wife but I've always had a fascination with cocks besides my own. When I was young I wouldn't dare fool around with men for fear of becoming homosexual. By the time I reached my 60's I was confident enough with my sexuality that I could explore other options. I joined Silverdaddies and posted a picture of my cock and balls. No face shots. LOL. I was amazed at the response. So I chose a man who lived within driving distance. We met for coffee, talked about a lot of things. After a couple of meetings I felt comfortable enough to go back to his house. His wife was working. He had retired. I sucked his cock, he sucked mine. I was inexperienced and probably didn't do a good job. He was very experienced. I have never been serviced the way he serviced me. I thought I'd feel guilty but I didn't. I don't feel guilty to this day. My only regret is that I didn't start earlier.

Much the same with me except I did experiment as a teen. The hormones were raging as a teen and it just seemed like something i needed. I do enjoy women very much and I married and to this day my wife and I have a great sex life together. I did not enjoy men as I would have liked throughout our married but the interest was very much there. I have to say my interest is just to enjoy another mans cock. Not into any other activities other than oral and JO exchanges. My wife knew of my activities with guys as a teen. I told her on one of our nights of great sex. She had no issues with it and supported it to some degree as she thought it was strictly in my past. As I got older I noticed that my urges to explore kept growing stronger. I too am on Silverdaddies and I met a guy there and we did hook up at a local event. We had a great time together and looked forward to other meetings. Since then I have a constant need to look and enjoy cock. My wife has caught me looking at some very good online pictures of some beautiful cock. She just says, Do you ever get enough? She knows I don't because of our sex life but I continue to look and enjoy my time with male friends and wouldn't trade my wife for anything. She is not aware that I meet men for oral pleasures but I think to some degree she likes the idea. She teases me in the heat of sex about the fact that I like cock. It's all good with me and will continue my enjoyment of cock.

 

[In the Woods]

A lot of other bisexual guys here similar in age to me (40's) have already made these points, so I'll just say my experiences were similar:

- 1980's US society was very unaccepting of gay sexuality
- Being gay was seen as a negative/insult; people were killed over it, families disowned kids & tossed them out of homes
- If you were even a fraction of a percent less than 100% straight, you were labeled "gay"
- Bisexuality was seen as "being confused" and "not real"
- Sex Ed in the 80's was (at least in my region) FEAR based. Have sex once, bam, she's pregnant and you both have every STD. And those gays? Well, when they have sex they might as well be playing Russian roulette.

Yet, ever since puberty I knew I was attracted to both sexes. I had an internal 'gay panic' moment, probably weekly, throughout junior high, high school, and even early college (I stayed local and lived with my parents). I'd find a guy attractive, then have an argument with myself about it. I can think of 3 half-hearted attempts I made in y teens and 20's at reaching out to another guy, and either they were completely straight or as repressed as I was. Each guy chose to laugh it off as some silly horseplay.

By my 30's I'd pushed down my bisexuality for so long it became habit. I still found guys attractive, but the idea of acting on it was out of the picture.

Then, when I hit my mid 40's something just sort of unwound itself in me. Was it age? Was it seeing society in general being more accepting of a spectrum of sexuality? Was it 30 years of repression finally hitting a breaking point? I don't know. All of them? Some of them?

I think being open about one's sexuality is far healthier than the repression I lived with. And I know there are places in the US and around the world that are still as bad. But at least some progress has been made.

 

[deleted15291411]

It didn’t take 40 years for me to become bicurious, it took 40 years for me to admit it.

 

[MilfBanger78]

I do think convenience plays a role too. As men get older they get tired of the games women can play and all the time and money invested in pursuing relationships with them. Sex with other men comes a lot easier. it less stress

 

[steve r]

Sexual orientation is not a choice. Well unless a guy chooses to suppress the feeling and live as a straight man. Older dudes dont just wake up one day and say, oh, i like penis today....
Most likely he squashed those emotions his entire life and just decided to not fight them anymore. Apart from a little jo action with buds when growing up, i didnt act on my attraction to males until i was like 30. I always knew i like men and dicks, etc but just ignored it until i was tired of lying to myself, and just accepted that i enjoy both sexes.

 

[Pumpme]

I have known I am bi as long as I can remember but as I am getting older I find the desires keep getting stronger. I tend to think that part of it is boredom of hetro sex, that and we have stared at our own cock all our lives, maybe we want to get to know another mans cock in a way we have never been able to with our own.

 

[HorseHung40's]

Many of us reach a point in our lives, often it is just after middle age, where we say, "Is this all that there is? While we don't hate life, we are not entirely happy either.

For some of us, it comes in the form of our work lives. Did we wish that we had progressed farther? Do we work for an idiot or a ball buster?

For others, it manifests itself in our sex lives. Are we gay, and, have we suppressed that for too many years? Have our spouses lost sexual interest in us?

We have an awakening, and, realize that we can make a positive change for ourselves for our remaining years, That is not a bad thing.

 

[Iwanthead]

I for one still want my cock to be desired by someone. When my gf lost interest, and a guy showed interest and all he wanted was to suck my cock and swallow my loads, I was all for it.
I found it to be a better situation than my own hands taking care of my cock.
The feeling the sounds and knowing the person sucking my cock wants my cock in their mouth/throat and they are trying to get me to cum. I cum buckets from a hungry oral service provider.