I haven't written one of these in a very long time, but here goes. I'm going against the grain (what else is new?) here. I don't think there is anything wrong with remaining friends and friends ONLY, even good friends. I don't screw around with my friends but I totally value their friendship and it will never go beyond that. But man, I do treasure my friendships. A couple of them are closer than family to me.
My best advice to you is to simply stop wishing for anything beyond a traditional, non fucking relationship and treat him as you would a good friend, nothing more, nothing less. A good friend, most of us (nonsexually speaking) we would do anything for and that doesn't need to change.
What does need to change, and forgive me if I am wrong, is you wishing it was more. Even if he is closeted and doesn't want to come out, or he is, in fact straight or whatever and potentially you misinterpret some things that you would like them to be, not how he meant them to be. Personally I'd never throw away a good friendship.
That said, in a wishing it were more sense, even though it never was, you have to emotionally detach YOUR feelings for him and begin to see others. You may simply be seeing what you want to see and he isn't really sending mixed signals or whatever. He trusts you as his friend, regardless of your sexuality, to be just that, his good friend, nothing more, nothing less. Stop wishing it were more and potentially stop seeing what isn't really there.
For what it's worth, I do agree with the others in one sense and that is his son and wife (or g/f I forget?). As his good friend, it's OK to love his son because he is your best friend. His wife or g/f (sorry too lazy to read back) is highly suspicious it seems of you being around her guy (and he is hers, whether you like that or not) or perhaps is aware of the flirtatious nature of your friendship with him and worries there is more to it. That's my take. You have to stop wondering and wishing there was more between the two of you for many reasons, one for you to stop wasting your own efforts and apply toward someone that IS available if you find or stumble on someone you like, two because it seems she is suspicious of you or both of you, three is he belongs to her at present and his son. That is reality man.
It's up to you if you can stop wishing it were more. To do that is difficult but not impossible. Stop wishing for what isn't and enjoy his friendship without more or hoping for a sexual one. Finding a close friend like that, is hard to come by. But YOU have to be able to disconnect and treat him as if you were straight and he were straight. Wondering about him does you no good. If you can do this, so be it. If not, some distance will have to be created, as it seems you have more difficulty being around him than vice versa.
So firstly I want to thank you for taking the time to respond . As I can see that took some effort and consideration on your part.
But what I have difficulty with is , the stock response all gay people tend to give each other .
a lot of you put the straight person on this perfect pedestal , where there behaviour is not questionable , and immediately they gay person is the ‘wrong’ one in the situation. The gay person is the predatory one , being so silly and deluded they are seeing things that are not there . It’s almost like a form of internalised homophobia that WE are always wrong and there’s not situation where a guy questioning how sexuality could be sending mixed signals and I can’t take that about this community sometimes .
It’s the automatic go-to that the gay guy is ‘seeing things they want to see’.
Even in the perspective of the girlfriend, you’ve made her suspicious of ‘Me’ ? Lol and I have to laugh , because I clearly said she leaves the room ,and HE begins to touch me .
This is borderline comparative to someone being sexually assaulted and the victim getting the blame .
HE’s the one who puts his hand up/down my pants and tells me how smooth and soft my legs are continuously.
HE’s the one who plays with my butt hairs
HE’s the one who asks for hundreds of photos of my feet
HE’s the one who constantly plays with my nipples
HE’s the one who’s always tryna pull down my pants when his gf isn’t looking
HE’s the one asking about my nudes and wanting to see my nude videos
HE’s the one asking to see videos of guys cummin on my face
HE’s the one always asking about the tightness of my asshole, making me prove it
HE’s the one rubbing my knees on car journeys and resting his hand on mine in private
HE’s the one who says he’s curious about my nude videos because I make them seem enticing.
I have on numerous occasions tried to be normal straight friends and even talk about straight sex, but nope , he wants to talk gay stuff . He is uncomfortable talking about girls/sex .
I’m honestly sick of being automatically told it’s all on my head . Because I’m not that stupid .
I’ve already said I’m happy to ignore his behaviour and create some distance , I’m just not going to be labelled the predator or wrong doer here.
So I will correct you, because you are wrong .
