Ya’ll Help - My Best Friend Confusing Af

[LikesBoys]

Coming from a man who came out late in life and I have children. If he isn't mentally ready to accept his sexuality there's nothing you can say that will get him there. Took me about 7 years. I was petrified with the thought of being with a man. My advice to you is focus on the reality of the situation. Love and being head over heels I think has blinded you a bit. I understand, certain people are once in a lifetime and connecting with someone is magical. I would retrain yourself to think of it as a wonderful friendship. That might mean time apart. Then if he ever does become ready take things from there. All the best.

thanks for this and I think this is good advice .
Out of curiosity , you say 7 years ... seven years from what age ? - if you don’t mind me asking .

 

[1017677]

thanks for this and I think this is good advice .
Out of curiosity , you say 7 years ... seven years from what age ? - if you don’t mind me asking .

28 I started realizing that I liked men. Then took another 7 years to come out lol. Hindsight is always 20/20 but when you're going through it you feel very alone.

 

[328982]

So firstly I want to thank you for taking the time to respond . As I can see that took some effort and consideration on your part.

But what I have difficulty with is , the stock response all gay people tend to give each other .
a lot of you put the straight person on this perfect pedestal , where there behaviour is not questionable , and immediately they gay person is the ‘wrong’ one in the situation. The gay person is the predatory one , being so silly and deluded they are seeing things that are not there . It’s almost like a form of internalised homophobia that WE are always wrong and there’s not situation where a guy questioning how sexuality could be sending mixed signals and I can’t take that about this community sometimes .
It’s the automatic go-to that the gay guy is ‘seeing things they want to see’.
Even in the perspective of the girlfriend, you’ve made her suspicious of ‘Me’ ? Lol and I have to laugh , because I clearly said she leaves the room ,and HE begins to touch me .

This is borderline comparative to someone being sexually assaulted and the victim getting the blame .

HE’s the one who puts his hand up/down my pants and tells me how smooth and soft my legs are continuously.
HE’s the one who plays with my butt hairs
HE’s the one who asks for hundreds of photos of my feet
HE’s the one who constantly plays with my nipples
HE’s the one who’s always tryna pull down my pants when his gf isn’t looking
HE’s the one asking about my nudes and wanting to see my nude videos
HE’s the one asking to see videos of guys cummin on my face
HE’s the one always asking about the tightness of my asshole, making me prove it
HE’s the one rubbing my knees on car journeys and resting his hand on mine in private
HE’s the one who says he’s curious about my nude videos because I make them seem enticing.

I have on numerous occasions tried to be normal straight friends and even talk about straight sex, but nope , he wants to talk gay stuff . He is uncomfortable talking about girls/sex .

I’m honestly sick of being automatically told it’s all on my head . Because I’m not that stupid .
I’ve already said I’m happy to ignore his behaviour and create some distance , I’m just not going to be labelled the predator or wrong doer here.

So I will correct you, because you are wrong .

I do know what you mean. Certainly there's a tendency to characterise gay men in this situation as either desperately deluded losers or calculating predators. There may be some internalised homophobia in that. Clearly in this case, as you describe it, he seems to be the main instigator. But I'd have to agree with others that this is not a healthy dynamic in any friendship. I think you know that yourself, hence you pulled away for some time and now this post asking for advice. Not saying you’re the 'bad guy' at all but where I see there is perhaps some delusion or at least self-dramatisation on your part is the slightly 'stand by your man' line you're taking - the willingness to make 'sacrifices' in the hope that if you only stick in there your emotional investment will pay off. It won’t. You’re wasting precious time and energy that could go into a real relationship. Also, it's slightly odd the way you talk about the child as though you were almost co-parent and the mother (his real partner) is this rather shadowy absent figure in your narrative. Almost a backdrop or prop to the psychodrama of your relationship with him. You can be sure that if he's slagging her off the moment her back's turned, he'll be saying worse things about you to her. They have a child together so in reality that relationship is much more important to him than you will ever be. So, yeah, enough already, high time to get out imo.

 

[Chipp Douglas]

So I’m definitely with you on this one - it absolutely makes you feel like you’re going crazy. I’m in a similar situation with a friend of mine somewhat junior to me in age. He’s still trying to figure himself out, so he says, al whilst being married. Hands on the thigh/knee during dinner with other friends (they’ve noticed), putting his arm around my waist, kisses on the neck... it’s alarming. He’s admitted that while we are in the gym working out he gets jealous that I look and comment at other guys builds. I’ve never really came out to him and said “I like you...” but he knows. Up until recently it’s just been a fun flirtatious setting. Then it the mind games really started a few weeks ago. We were helping a friend move (it was late in the evening and a 2 hour drive one way to her place) and he asked me to ride with him so we could talk. He began to expel his ‘gay indiscretions’ but kept saying “It’s not just me man, I’m straight. I’m married to a woman. The two time I’ve allowed something to happen I’ve regretted it and hate the men who I’ve done it with.” I was floored. I say silent for both spans of the car ride in total contemplation of what to do/say.
So that has placed me in a spot - I do value our friendship, but he knows how I feel. 2 nights ago he sent me a text asking me to meet him for dinner. When I replied that I couldn’t he said “But I have a throbbing rock hard cock waiting for you...” and proceeded to send not one, but NINE different photos of his cock.
At the end of the day the decision is yours - make the move or move on. I say that, because maybe writing it down to help someone else in a similar situation may help me. We have dinner plans tonight with drinks to follow - so who knows what will happen and if he will hate me tomorrow. I have to have that hard conversation with not only him but myself.

 

[LikesBoys]

I do know what you mean. Certainly there's a tendency to characterise gay men in this situation as either desperately deluded losers or calculating predators. There may be some internalised homophobia in that. Clearly in this case, as you describe it, he seems to be the main instigator. But I'd have to agree with others that this is not a healthy dynamic in any friendship. I think you know that yourself, hence you pulled away for some time and now this post asking for advice. Not saying you’re the 'bad guy' at all but where I see there is perhaps some delusion or at least self-dramatisation on your part is the slightly 'stand by your man' line you're taking - the willingness to make 'sacrifices' in the hope that if you only stick in there your emotional investment will pay off. It won’t. You’re wasting precious time and energy that could go into a real relationship. Also, it's slightly odd the way you talk about the child as though you were almost co-parent and the mother (his real partner) is this rather shadowy absent figure in your narrative. Almost a backdrop or prop to the psychodrama of your relationship with him. You can be sure that if he's slagging her off the moment her back's turned, he'll be saying worse things about you to her. They have a child together so in reality that relationship is much more important to him than you will ever be. So, yeah, enough already, high time to get out imo.

Slightly odd the way I talk about the child ?
I was with you up until that part .
I’m most definitely missing something here lol .
I cannot for the life of me see where I’ve displayed some unhealthy obsession with the child and how any of you are interpreting it that way.

I said I’ve bonded well with & love the kid , is that a crime ? , does that mean I’m trying to single white female the mother ? No...

I also have no issue with the mother and have not displayed that anywhere , in fact I really like her .

I’ve told you all how he describes her , that’s not me trying to lessen her significance or raise my own . So that bee-sting of a punchline about me never being as important as her is probably better served for someone who is actually threatened by or trying to compete with a woman lol .

I understand you are trying to help , but when my character is so wrongly assessed I have to defend it .

 

[Peachy_]

So I’m definitely with you on this one - it absolutely makes you feel like you’re going crazy. I’m in a similar situation with a friend of mine somewhat junior to me in age. He’s still trying to figure himself out, so he says, al whilst being married. Hands on the thigh/knee during dinner with other friends (they’ve noticed), putting his arm around my waist, kisses on the neck... it’s alarming. He’s admitted that while we are in the gym working out he gets jealous that I look and comment at other guys builds. I’ve never really came out to him and said “I like you...” but he knows. Up until recently it’s just been a fun flirtatious setting. Then it the mind games really started a few weeks ago. We were helping a friend move (it was late in the evening and a 2 hour drive one way to her place) and he asked me to ride with him so we could talk. He began to expel his ‘gay indiscretions’ but kept saying “It’s not just me man, I’m straight. I’m married to a woman. The two time I’ve allowed something to happen I’ve regretted it and hate the men who I’ve done it with.” I was floored. I say silent for both spans of the car ride in total contemplation of what to do/say.
So that has placed me in a spot - I do value our friendship, but he knows how I feel. 2 nights ago he sent me a text asking me to meet him for dinner. When I replied that I couldn’t he said “But I have a throbbing rock hard cock waiting for you...” and proceeded to send not one, but NINE different photos of his cock.
At the end of the day the decision is yours - make the move or move on. I say that, because maybe writing it down to help someone else in a similar situation may help me. We have dinner plans tonight with drinks to follow - so who knows what will happen and if he will hate me tomorrow. I have to have that hard conversation with not only him but myself.

I can feel what you are trying to explain, I experienced something similar but not that explicit. I think we must stay strong and stay away from that kind of people. I'll explain myself: Althought you've lived and felt memories that may be so precious for you, I think the best way to stay (mentally/emotionally) healthy consists in staying away from this kind of people. I can understand that the feelings you have for him can be boundaring, just too meaningful to act logically, but the best thing to do is stay away so you can act logically and don't involve emotionally. I fell in love with a friend of mine and he acted as nothing happened. He hugged me in a way that no one did, he caressed me in a way no one did. I remember I was sleeping with him and some another friends in a huge bed. I felt asleep and I opened my eyes and he was looking at me and he was caressing my arm and my hand. After 2 years I told him that I felt something so especial, something that I hadn't been able to feel in my entire life. He apologized and he told that he loved me as a brother. He confessed me that he imagined a couple times how would be staying in a relationship with me, but he immediately felt like that wasn't possible. During that 2 years, I had to see how he was flirting with my friends in front of me (my girl friends obviously). I had to move on because he created huge insecurities in me. The best decision I've made. I don't regret it, and I would even dare to say that it was necessary to me because I needed to heal that wounds.

 

[LikesBoys]

So I’m definitely with you on this one - it absolutely makes you feel like you’re going crazy. I’m in a similar situation with a friend of mine somewhat junior to me in age. He’s still trying to figure himself out, so he says, al whilst being married. Hands on the thigh/knee during dinner with other friends (they’ve noticed), putting his arm around my waist, kisses on the neck... it’s alarming. He’s admitted that while we are in the gym working out he gets jealous that I look and comment at other guys builds. I’ve never really came out to him and said “I like you...” but he knows. Up until recently it’s just been a fun flirtatious setting. Then it the mind games really started a few weeks ago. We were helping a friend move (it was late in the evening and a 2 hour drive one way to her place) and he asked me to ride with him so we could talk. He began to expel his ‘gay indiscretions’ but kept saying “It’s not just me man, I’m straight. I’m married to a woman. The two time I’ve allowed something to happen I’ve regretted it and hate the men who I’ve done it with.” I was floored. I say silent for both spans of the car ride in total contemplation of what to do/say.
So that has placed me in a spot - I do value our friendship, but he knows how I feel. 2 nights ago he sent me a text asking me to meet him for dinner. When I replied that I couldn’t he said “But I have a throbbing rock hard cock waiting for you...” and proceeded to send not one, but NINE different photos of his cock.
At the end of the day the decision is yours - make the move or move on. I say that, because maybe writing it down to help someone else in a similar situation may help me. We have dinner plans tonight with drinks to follow - so who knows what will happen and if he will hate me tomorrow. I have to have that hard conversation with not only him but myself.

Hey,
Thank you for sharing you story .
It definitely is quite the predicament.
The reality of it is , online in forums people get such a watered down light version of the situation , because they don’t see the real emotion and interactions - Almost like texting . so I know it’s hard to give/ask for advice on these things . But I in no way would I ever try and make you feel bad for being in this situation as some have with me , it’s like they want to help but have to give you a portion of the blame somehow.
Some people in here have made me feel Kevin Spacey creepy , and I hate it . But yeah it’s our situation to work out and whilst there has been a lot of great guidance in here , the decision /choice as you say is ultimately ours to make .Good luck with yours !
He’s definitely struggling with excepting his sexuality from what you’ve said , but be careful as he self admittedly blames the gay guy ! So I would just think about whether you are wiling to deal with the aftermath.

 

[328982]

Slightly odd the way I talk about the child ?
I was with you up until that part .
I’m most definitely missing something here lol .
I cannot for the life of me see where I’ve displayed some unhealthy obsession with the child and how any of you are interpreting it that way.

I said I’ve bonded well with & love the kid , is that a crime ? , does that mean I’m trying to single white female the mother ? No...

I also have no issue with the mother and have not displayed that anywhere , in fact I really like her .

I’ve told you all how he describes her , that’s not me trying to lessen her significance or raise my own . So that bee-sting of a punchline about me never being as important as her is probably better served for someone who is actually threatened by or trying to compete with a woman lol .

I understand you are trying to help , but when my character is so wrongly assessed I have to defend it .

I didn’t say you had an “unhealthy obsession” with the child. I didn’t say you had an “issue” with the mother, just that she seems incidental and almost absent in your narrative, a sort of cardboard cutout. You do surely accept that he has more invested in his relationship with her, his partner, and their child, than with you?

 

[LikesBoys]

I can feel what you are trying to explain, I experienced something similar but not that explicit. I think we must stay strong and stay away from that kind of people. I'll explain myself: Althought you've lived and felt memories that may be so precious for you, I think the best way to stay (mentally/emotionally) healthy consists in staying away from this kind of people. I can understand that the feelings you have for him can be boundaring, just too meaningful to act logically, but the best thing to do is stay away so you can act logically and don't involve emotionally. I fell in love with a friend of mine and he acted as nothing happened. He hugged me in a way that no one did, he caressed me in a way no one did. I remember I was sleeping with him and some another friends in a huge bed. I felt asleep and I opened my eyes and he was looking at me and he was caressing my arm and my hand. After 2 years I told him that I felt something so especial, something that I hadn't been able to feel in my entire life. He apologized and he told that he loved me as a brother. He confessed me that he imagined a couple times how would be staying in a relationship with me, but he immediately felt like that wasn't possible. During that 2 years, I had to see how he was flirting with my friends in front of me (my girl friends obviously). I had to move on because he created huge insecurities in me. The best decision I've made. I don't regret it, and I would even dare to say that it was necessary to me because I needed to heal that wounds.

Hey & Thanks for sharing.
so by moving on... do you mean you ended the friendship completely ?

 

[Peachy_]

Hey & Thanks for sharing.
so by moving on... do you mean you ended the friendship completely ?

In my case, yes. Because I know I would not be able to move on if I continued knowing about him. If I continued knowing about him,, deep down I know I would never have the courage and the strenght to say: Hey, I deserve to be happy and you are playing with me without caring about my feelings. In my case, I had to end completely the relationship. It's been like a year sinceg I don't talk to him. I have him on some social media, but I'm Planning to cut 100% all we've got. It is sad because I've got some pictures that reminds me of some great memories I had, but it is the best I can do to stay okay. I don't wanna waste more time lamenting and worring about someone who can't/don't have the guts to Love me. I deserve something better, and you guys too.

 

[LikesBoys]

I didn’t say you had an “unhealthy obsession” with the child. I didn’t say you had an “issue” with the mother, just that she seems incidental and almost absent in your narrative, a sort of cardboard cutout. You do surely accept that he has more invested in his relationship with her, his partner, and their child, than with you?

I think it’s because the history I’m telling is about my experience with him , I’ve know him six years , she’s been around for 1.

There’s a limit to how much I really want to put on the internet , but that relationship is one of convenience . It allows him to be a father .
He’s told me he has no feelings towards her , and accepts her as a friend. but she’s told him if he wants to stay and be with the baby he has to try at the relationship with her . He has no alternative living arrangements and they are financially tied into a few things together re-the baby.
He told me he feels trapped , and wants to seek therapy etc.

So I hope I can safely say (at the risk of sounding like a delusional gay) , that I may as a close friend mean more to him than she does .
But that as with anything I post is open for your own interpretations. But I know where I stand and I’ve seen how they interact , even without confirmation from him , you can see they do not work . He’s never had a successful relationship with a female , and this one is no exception .

 

[LikesBoys]

In my case, yes. Because I know I would not be able to move on if I continued knowing about him. If I continued knowing about him,, deep down I know I would never have the courage and the strenght to say: Hey, I deserve to be happy and you are playing with me without caring about my feelings. In my case, I had to end completely the relationship. It's been like a year sinceg I don't talk to him. I have him on some social media, but I'm Planning to cut 100% all we've got. It is sad because I've got some pictures that reminds me of some great memories I had, but it is the best I can do to stay okay. I don't wanna waste more time lamenting and worring about someone who can't/don't have the guts to Love me. I deserve something better, and you guys too.

oh I see . I admire you courage I really do .
I just have the perspective that there’s two lanes
..... purely friendship
Or messed up confusion ...

And I’m trying to give myself that chance to step into the purely friendship lane first to see how it pans out . Because I feel like there’s too much here platonically to throw away . we’ve been each others main friend for 5yrs (1 yr apart) and then still ended up back where we were . There were only maybe a few days of the year apart that I didn’t think about him and I just don’t think I can commit to that type of withdrawal or go cold turkey like that again . Not yet anyways until it’s absolutely necessary! So I’m going to try at the friendship and find some other romantic distractions as I think my mindset is ready for that now after seeing a lot of hard hitting truths I’m the advice provided in this thread !

 

[Infernal]

I would drop that shit and not look back. Honeslty, it sounds emotionally abusive. He knows what he's doing and he keeps doing it. I think he's getting a thrill out of stringing you along, even if he doesn't realize that's what he's doing. It sounds all sorts of toxic and no one needs that. You don't have to just cut him off, but withdrawl slowly, and let things fade away.

 

[1225108]

oh I see . I admire you courage I really do .
I just have the perspective that there’s two lanes
..... purely friendship
Or messed up confusion ...

And I’m trying to give myself that chance to step into the purely friendship lane first to see how it pans out . Because I feel like there’s too much here platonically to throw away . we’ve been each others main friend for 5yrs (1 yr apart) and then still ended up back where we were . There were only maybe a few days of the year apart that I didn’t think about him and I just don’t think I can commit to that type of withdrawal or go cold turkey like that again . Not yet anyways until it’s absolutely necessary! So I’m going to try at the friendship and find some other romantic distractions as I think my mindset is ready for that now after seeing a lot of hard hitting truths I’m the advice provided in this thread !

Hear, hear!
Make your best decisions. Making a mistake or two is ok just as long as you keep seeing things for what they are.
Best of luck.

 

[cedarizzo]

Hear, hear!
Make your best decisions. Making a mistake or two is ok just as long as you keep seeing things for what they are.
Best of luck.

Nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just learn from your mistakes and try to do better next time.

 

[1225108]

Nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just learn from your mistakes and try to do better next time.

Indeed, mistakes are what you learn from most.

But "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
(Usually attributed to Albert Einstein).

So making new mistakes is not insane and much better, much more interesting and most of all:

Fun!

 

[In the Woods]

So I’m definitely with you on this one - it absolutely makes you feel like you’re going crazy.

Ahhh, I've been in a similar-ish boat. See my issue here: Largest Soft Dick You've Seen ?
It's the post 3rd from the bottom on Page 1.

 

[Loser1247]

Ive got an something interesting as well (maybe not as interesting as the original post) with a guy I know very well.

Im best friends with his older brother Justin who is my age. We were class mates in highshool and had a lot of classes together and a locker next to each other so we are very good friends to say the least. He does not know im gay (Not gay friendly where I'm from so I've just kept it to myself from some people) neither does John. Throughout highschool I never really was to exploratory as I had to much on my plate with family sports and academics, so it wasnt much of a priority. Especially once a coach of mine made me explore if you catch my drift. John was just a few years younger than we were and for brothers they were actually very cool with each other. So obviously I was around him pretty often. I was never really attracted to either of them in school honestly. John was cute. But just didnt have a vibe. The years went by and I graduated and 2 years later he graduated. We all still hung out on a regular basis despite me living 2 hours away and Justin living 45 minutes away. Somewhere along the way Justin met a girl and we kinda fell out of touch. And weren't super close for a year or so maybe. Which is when John and I really got close to each other. He had graduated and was just starting to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. At this point I had come into my sexuality and he had reallllly grown on me. I am and have always been very good at working through emotions and not getting attached to certain people in certain ways. So it was still super easy for me to be best friends with him despite there being a huge attraction on my part.

Now to the interesting stuff. Part of out usual routine was grabbing some booze and heading a couple miles out of town (a small town) and just drinking and hanging out all night. 90% of the time it was just us. So of that was my doing and some his. Just never really liked hanging out with a lot of people (we're both somewhat anti social). Among some of the many times we hung out drinking at the bridge, talk of who our male celebrity crushes were if we had to fuck one. I beleive he said the typical Ryan Reynolds or G Eazy (which we both agreed on). One extended weekend that I was back in town he told me that his parents neighbors were out of town on vacation and they were having him watch the house. He told me to come over with drinks when he was off work (he worked at the town pizza joint) to party and stay the night, he made mention that he invited another friend to come over for a while as well. We were drinking and swimming in the pool just the three of us. It came time for the other friend to leave. Once he did we started drinking more and more. We got hungry and went inside and started making bacon ate it and then sat on the couch and started watching TV. Cant remember what we were watching or chatting about but at one point he said "You wanna have another beer and go smash?" He used the term smash for fucking ALL the time. I looked at him and said "what?" And he then brushed it off and said "nothing." I left it alone after than for the night. He slept on one side of rhe sectional couch and I slept on the other. The next night we didnt get quite as drunk but wound up on the couch again. At one point our hands touched and we were feeling on each others hands for about a minute before he pulled it away. Time went on and we continued to hang out. One time in the car he was dropping me off where I was staying and we were chatting pretty extensively and he started talking down on himself. We talked it through and I went to leave and grabbed his shoulder and started saying bye but before I could he said "Ooof that feels good" (I have a firm grip) so I rubbed it a little and asked why. He went of to tell me that he worked his shoulders pretty hard at the gym and then talked about his chest so I rubbed just one side of his chest for 5-10 seconds at most and stopped. It got really hot really quick and it feel like he would have let it keep happening. He had such a relaxed look on his face. I said ill see him later and left. For time went on and he got his own place, and I had moved back to town. We started hitting the gym pretty regularly which was just down the road from his place. We would regularly hang out at his place after. We would watch TV on his futon as it was the only thing in his apartment to sit on other thsn his bed. Almost every time he would lie on the futon and put his feet in my lap even if I was on my phone. First time he did it I looked over at him because I thought he was being a shithead to irritate me or something and he just had the cutest seductive grin on his face. It really threw me off because through all the other things mentioned above Ive always maintained just being friends and keeping the attraction at bay. But never the less I brushed it off and continued on. Another night later on we were at the bridge again. Under the moon and stars. No one around us for a mile or two and just talking about life. We were on the subject of what he wanted to with his life after college. Helping him talk his thoughts out and supporting his thoughts and desires from life. He came to the realization that he wanted to be a pilot. I was happy for him and stood up to go grab another beer and in doing so said "man im so happy for you I could kiss you." In all honesty I meant that is the platonic way. And didnt have love sexual thought in my mind when I said it. Anyway, he stood up and said kiss me with a straight face. I asked what, thinking I didnt hear him correctly and he repeated him self. I said "really?" With some disbelief. He said "yeah kiss me" with more seriousness. I pauses for a good few seconds and just looked at him really figuring out jist what it the fuck I was going to do and how it'll come out on the other side. I went for his cheek. Which to this day that decision haunts me. More so now that we will never be that close again due to events more recent than these. After that point some of his flirty behaviors became less frequent and it wasnt much longer after that I moved away again. Within time he had moved into a place with two other guys that he was friends with and not much longer after that he started mentioning some girl. They started dating and I would go weeks sometimes a month or so without hearing from him. Before you knew it, a year went by without seeing him. Finally called him out on some shit and invited him to my birthday party while I was back in town. He came and hung out for a bit with his girlfriend before bouncing. We dont talk anymore after another event that im still trying to process.

In my opinion he was trying to figure things out and may have had some sort of attraction to me. Definitely not gay but I almost certain he is bi curious. Keep in mind those were just the most serious things. He would always call me cutie or boo or touch me (never on the dick or ass though). What do you guys think? Should I have gave him a good kiss or told him im gay and came clean about being attracted to him? I get to lost in thought when I think about this. Sorry if my English is off. I grew up in Kansas but greek is my first language lol.

 

[9038421]

Easy, just bloody snog him and see what happens. I did that this at university, worked out well. I was a bit drunk though before I plucked up the courage.

 

[Hardybob]

So I’m definitely with you on this one - it absolutely makes you feel like you’re going crazy. I’m in a similar situation with a friend of mine somewhat junior to me in age. He’s still trying to figure himself out, so he says, al whilst being married. Hands on the thigh/knee during dinner with other friends (they’ve noticed), putting his arm around my waist, kisses on the neck... it’s alarming. He’s admitted that while we are in the gym working out he gets jealous that I look and comment at other guys builds. I’ve never really came out to him and said “I like you...” but he knows. Up until recently it’s just been a fun flirtatious setting. Then it the mind games really started a few weeks ago. We were helping a friend move (it was late in the evening and a 2 hour drive one way to her place) and he asked me to ride with him so we could talk. He began to expel his ‘gay indiscretions’ but kept saying “It’s not just me man, I’m straight. I’m married to a woman. The two time I’ve allowed something to happen I’ve regretted it and hate the men who I’ve done it with.” I was floored. I say silent for both spans of the car ride in total contemplation of what to do/say.
So that has placed me in a spot - I do value our friendship, but he knows how I feel. 2 nights ago he sent me a text asking me to meet him for dinner. When I replied that I couldn’t he said “But I have a throbbing rock hard cock waiting for you...” and proceeded to send not one, but NINE different photos of his cock.
At the end of the day the decision is yours - make the move or move on. I say that, because maybe writing it down to help someone else in a similar situation may help me. We have dinner plans tonight with drinks to follow - so who knows what will happen and if he will hate me tomorrow. I have to have that hard conversation with not only him but myself.

Curious, how did this end up? Ever hook up with him? You still friends?