Just found this forum and love this thread. I am a 47 year old white male and I recently came to terms with being bi. I suppose i knew all along but lived in denial. My sole experience before the age of 40 was with one gay guy, who really just seduced me when i was under the influence - but it was consensual and I enjoyed it. I did everything but get penetrated - though he tried. I never saw the guy again as i felt guilty the next morning, flagellating myself at the thought that I was indeed gay and "what would my friends and family think" and "oh my god im dirty"... blah, blah, blah. I was ridden with guilt and swore that it was a one time experience, experimental and impetuous and i would not put my health or reputation at risk by dong it again. Now that i am older, and have perspective on it, i know that i truly did enjoy the experience. Though I am more interested in women sexually , I realize i have very strong attraction to the male form as well, almost exclusively centered around the phallus. I think that is not uncommon among mos gay or bi or pansexual men. The penis is a gorgeous creation and very powerful and quite lovely when you see it in the right way. My first dip in the pool of man to man sex should have been an enlightening experience - instead my societal programming made it a catastrophe and i let it influence my life. Now i see to be completely at ease with being into men sexually and in fact believe that reconciling that has made me a more happy, productive and centered human being. That is in part because a couple years ago i finally came out to my wife. I had not been adulterous to our marriage and I am lucky that i have an understanding, enlightened and bisexual wife. It helps even more that she actively participates in my desire to be penetrated but that is another story. It has improved our sex life, but I am still feeling like i am missing something by not being more active sexually with men. Though i have zero desire to pursue a romantic relationship with a guy, I do think that m2m sex is sometimes more satisfying physically though less emotionally., which is fine for me - i just wish i had the courage to come out to the rest of my social circle and possibly a wider circle - but it is not time yet. In the meantime i am still on the hunt for a FWB or a fuck buddy or whatever you call it. Hopefully the rest of society will finally understand that bisexual do exist and are not notorious philanderers and sex addicts, unti lthat time i am happy and safe where i am - but disappointed i cannot be truly free. Just my two cents and hope to read more here.