feeling really envious of other guys w/ bigger dicks

[Cum_is_Great]

Basically you keep running into the same advice from everyone on the board.

You: I'm applying very unfair and high standards on myself and think my way of thinking is right and otherwise is delusional.

Us: You're being unfair to yourself. Change your impossibly high standards and stop projecting them into your "potential partners" mind.

You: To be fair, I think my way of thinking is right and how the world works.

Us: It's not. You're being unfair on yourself.

You: To be fair, some people do achieve these standards

Us: Yes, the top 1% by literal nature of percentages. But that's so few people, it isnt fair to put that as a standard. Also you only see their highlights and never their low points.

You: Yes but, 1% of billions is still a lot of people.

Us: You're being resistant and continually thinking this way will just keep you feeling depressed/insecure.

You:*ignores us because you still think you can live with the way you think and balance a healthy life and mindset*

Days later...

You: *posts about how your impossible and unfair standards are making you depressed/insecure*

Rinse and repeat.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I can see what you're saying and I appreciate the words. At the same time, unfortunately, many, many people out there don't quite feel the same way. As is, it feels like looks often correlate with masculinity much more frequently than content of character. And I don't how or if I could get myself to be sure of myself in my body in a way. Like if there's a guy that's taller, has a bigger dick, is more muscular, has a better-looking face (like a lot of people on here and elsewhere online), what could I have to deliver as a person in comparison to him?

You have chosen some poor role models, no doubt because you have twisted notions of masculinity. Change your role models. Read some biographies. Study some classic movies featuring male protagonists. However, I don't think you will because you would rather wallow in obdurate, intellectual conceit.

 

[ddgggg]

You have chosen some poor role models, no doubt because you have twisted notions of masculinity. Change your role models. Read some biographies. Study some classic movies featuring male protagonists. However, I don't think you will because you would rather wallow in obdurate, intellectual conceit.

I get the impression that those classic movies featuring male protagonists epitomize the standard of masculinity I said in my post...no? Like Clint Walker. And it's not like I would rather wallow in that way - people just like and respect hotter people (and by extension, hotter guys more), hence the halo effect, and hence this site as a collective. I'm not trying to be stubborn or mean or anything like that - just trying to understand.

 

[ddgggg]

Basically you keep running into the same advice from everyone on the board.

You: I'm applying very unfair and high standards on myself and think my way of thinking is right and otherwise is delusional.

Us: You're being unfair to yourself. Change your impossibly high standards and stop projecting them into your "potential partners" mind.

You: To be fair, I think my way of thinking is right and how the world works.

Us: It's not. You're being unfair on yourself.

You: To be fair, some people do achieve these standards

Us: Yes, the top 1% by literal nature of percentages. But that's so few people, it isnt fair to put that as a standard. Also you only see their highlights and never their low points.

You: Yes but, 1% of billions is still a lot of people.

Us: You're being resistant and continually thinking this way will just keep you feeling depressed/insecure.

You:*ignores us because you still think you can live with the way you think and balance a healthy life and mindset*

Days later...

You: *posts about how your impossible and unfair standards are making you depressed/insecure*

Rinse and repeat.

I'm not really ignoring if I'm engaging with the people that reply in the thread I make...like I am, right now. And if I don't compare myself to other people, someone else will

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I'm not really ignoring if I'm engaging with the people that reply in the thread I make...like I am, right now.

Replying "yes but" or "to be fair" and throwing out what everyone is advising to you is, in fact, ignoring or not taking our advice.

Just as you always do. You have to be willing to take advice and you have repeatedly made it clear you refuse to.

And if I don't compare myself to other people, someone else will

Oh someone will compare you? Oh no! Guess that means you have to keep making yourself miserable and continue to be unfair to yourself and keep extremely high standards...

Theres nothing you can do. Its a shame youre the only person that someone would do that to. No one else ever can understand the feeling of being judged or compared.

Oh well, guess all our advice is bested by this mystery someone.

 

[ddgggg]

Replying "yes but" or "to be fair" and throwing out what everyone is advising to you is, in fact, ignoring or not taking our advice.

I didn't mean for it to come off that way though. I'm trying to take into account what you all say and respond with the way I feel.

Just as you always do. You have to be willing to take advice and you have repeatedly made it clear you refuse to.

Oh someone will compare you? Oh no! Guess that means you have to keep making yourself miserable and continue to be unfair to yourself and keep extremely high standards...

I want to be able to take your and everyone else's advice, but I don't know how. Self-acceptance just seems too difficult and out there.

Theres nothing you can do. Its a shame youre the only person that someone would do that to. No one else ever can understand the feeling of being judged or compared.

And I never said all that.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

And I never said all that.

So why did you say "And if I don't compare myself to other people, someone else will "

It was in response to me showing how we keep saying not to compare yourself to the top 1% as its not fair.

 

[ddgggg]

So why did you say "And if I don't compare myself to other people, someone else will "

It was in response to me showing how we keep saying not to compare yourself to the top 1% as its not fair.

What I meant was that I know not the only person that someone would compare to someone else, and I know that other people fear being judged/etc.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I want to be able to take your and everyone else's advice, but I don't know how. Self-acceptance just seems too difficult and out there.

It wont happen immediately dude. Youre gonna still feel bad for a bit. But ad you change your thinking it will slowly not be as difficult. And you thinking self acceptance being "out there" makes it seem like we are saying something like balancing your chakras and or taking homeopathy vitamins or something.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

What I meant was that I know not the only person that someone would compare to someone else, and I know that other people fear being judged/etc.

Why are you bringing other people in when we are talking about you? It comes across as looking for any reason to discredit us telling you to stop comparing yourself to the top 1%

 

[ddgggg]

Why are you bringing other people in when we are talking about you? It comes across as looking for any reason to discredit us telling you to stop comparing yourself to the top 1%

I was just clarifying what I meant by what I said about if I don't compare myself to other people, other people will.

 

[ddgggg]

It wont happen immediately dude. Youre gonna still feel bad for a bit. But ad you change your thinking it will slowly not be as difficult. And you thinking self acceptance being "out there" makes it seem like we are saying something like balancing your chakras and or taking homeopathy vitamins or something.

Exactly that, I just don't know how to go about accepting myself. I feel like I need to change myself enough before I start doing that (which I'm working towards doing), but until then, it just feels like I don't deserve it to be honest.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I was just clarifying what I meant by what I said about if I don't compare myself to other people, other people will.

That still doesnt make sense. Its not relevant at all. Stop comparing yourself to the top 1% of people who show off their highlights of their life and never their low points. Stop thinking the only value you can bring is if you are the best looking and such. Stop it.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Exactly that, I just don't know how to go about accepting myself. I feel like I need to change myself enough before I start doing that (which I'm working towards doing), but until then, it just feels like I don't deserve it to be honest.

All you have to do to accept yourself is to stop thinking you arent good enough. Literally you are the person making yourself feel bad. You are the judge beating yourself over your head with comparisons to the top 1%.

No one is saying you can't want to better yourself or improve your looks.

No one is saying you're just as sexy as all the top 1% as you are now.

No one is saying that no one is affected by social media and its allure of sexy people doing sexy things all the time and being fawned over.

We are saying you are literally being obsessed and its destroying you and the only one who can stop it is you. The step to do so have been outlined repeatedly by many many different people here who empathize and sympathize.

But every. Single. Time. You "yes but" or "to be fair" and reinstate your very flawed and destructive obsessive thinking back to center.

 

[heinz.friedrich]

I’ve been feeling really jealous/envious of other guys online. I’ll see so many that are 8”+ with 6” girth or even more, big flaccid lengths, and big testicles on Reddit/Twitter and genuinely feel so useless compared to them. I know porn isn’t real, and there’s confirmation/selection bias, but even then there’s still a lot of guys. I had been trying to use a pump to get permanent growth, but even then, that’s going to take so long, and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to grow to their level. And I know it’s not all about size when it comes to sex, but this isn’t only about sex. I just wanted to feel more masculine and show off as well as the other people here have, and not worry about changing next to other people or using urinals. I see so much talk about big dicks on places like here and on this chat app for college students, Sidechat, that I wished I could be talked about that way to be honest.

I dont know if you want tips. But maybe some people read this who have the same problem and they can get help through this post.

Jealousy and envy together with mockery and slander are one the worst emotions you can have because those emotions are especially hard to overcome.

If you mock or slander somebody, because of a smaller penis or other characteristics you devalue this person and simultaneously feel superior. It is a form of humiliation of one person and superiority of another.

Both things are negative, because you do not see the oneness of all people. If you have empathy you see everybody as one. Empathy is walking in the shoes of others.

Jealousy and envy has both a lack of kindness in it, because you dont grant somebody something what he/she has. You also have a lack of value for that person. KIndness always values other people.

If you want to be less jealous you have to practice some spiritual practices that value every person that you meet and especially the thing you are jealous of. And the more you practice the more the jealousy goes away.

Love is also important. That is why I always suggest the loving-kindness meditation. You value both positive energies the positive female (love) and the positive male energy (respect/infinite worth/kindness/benevolence ) and you transform you jealousy.

Comparable to this study about a similar meditation. You can also google loving-kindness studies. There are a couple of proven positive effects:

To counter these Brahmavihara meditation may be practiced, which includes cultivation of feelings of friendliness (Maitri), joy and goodwill (Mudita), compassion (Karuna) and acceptance and equanimity (Upeksha). These specific meditations and interventions have been found to result in multi-faceted improvements with respect to lowering of anxiety, depression, psychological distress, envy and improvement in interpersonal harmony and well-being. The current paper will discuss the implications of Brahmavihara meditation for workplace harmony and well-being.

https://www.researchgate.net/public...potential_benefits_for_a_harmonious_workplace

 

[GeorgiaMan]

Dick size is possibly the most overhyped quality in a person. We all like looking at big dicks (some straight men do too) but in reality it is only one trait that makes up a person.

My biggest problem is sex is only one part of a relationship. It's a big part (no pun intended) but it's not the only thing people do. There are men and women who really can't take a big dick all the way. Just because you see a man with one it doesn't mean he's getting all the sex and attention you may think.

Some dudes are hung just like some have incredibly high IQs, some are born into generational wealth, some luck out and marry a soul mate, some guys got into Harvard, some guys came from great families, some guys can sing and dance......

If I were going to wish to have certain qualities I'd pick many of the things I named above before I got to "have a bigger dick".

Hopefully you see my point.

 

[Alex22876]

I’ve been feeling really jealous/envious of other guys online. I’ll see so many that are 8”+ with 6” girth or even more, big flaccid lengths, and big testicles on Reddit/Twitter and genuinely feel so useless compared to them. I know porn isn’t real, and there’s confirmation/selection bias, but even then there’s still a lot of guys. I had been trying to use a pump to get permanent growth, but even then, that’s going to take so long, and there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to grow to their level. And I know it’s not all about size when it comes to sex, but this isn’t only about sex. I just wanted to feel more masculine and show off as well as the other people here have, and not worry about changing next to other people or using urinals. I see so much talk about big dicks on places like here and on this chat app for college students, Sidechat, that I wished I could be talked about that way to be honest.

There are billions of people on the planet! The fact that there are lots of guys depends on what you define as lots. With a number that large, there are millions of huge guys, but it is still statistically rare.

are you jealous of tall guys? Or guys in really good shape? Or with better hair than you? Better looking than you?

there is always someone that is better at something - that is life. Focus more on things you actually impact not those that are god given or just luck or genetics. You can control effort. You can’t control history.

 

[blkcocktail]

I’m all for being optimistic…but where I come from, being a black male, penis size is kinda a key part of your identity and your reputation; (it shouldn’t be, but it is) and depending on where you fall on the ruler, it can either build you up or tear you down. The fact that I dislike the size of my dick…I didn’t just dream this sh%t up on my own…I started out positive, hopeful, wide-eyed, and excited about sex, just like everyone else; but it was the outcome of years of sexual experiences, one by one, that has led me to discover that my lack of size is very much an issue. I can choose to ignore or sugar coat, I can repeat the mantra that “my small dick is beautiful” until I’m brainwashed out the butt; but the reality is…it has affected my sex life and now my confidence in a negative way.

From time to time do I get jealous, yes- I think that’s pretty normal. I just try not to wallow in it for too long. I try to focus my energy elsewhere and keep busy.

 

[ddgggg]

Dick size is possibly the most overhyped quality in a person. We all like looking at big dicks (some straight men do too) but in reality it is only one trait that makes up a person.

My biggest problem is sex is only one part of a relationship. It's a big part (no pun intended) but it's not the only thing people do. There are men and women who really can't take a big dick all the way. Just because you see a man with one it doesn't mean he's getting all the sex and attention you may think.

Some dudes are hung just like some have incredibly high IQs, some are born into generational wealth, some luck out and marry a soul mate, some guys got into Harvard, some guys came from great families, some guys can sing and dance......

If I were going to wish to have certain qualities I'd pick many of the things I named above before I got to "have a bigger dick".

Hopefully you see my point.

I do also wish to have those qualities as well, it's just that dick size is the most relevant to this site. And I know there's more to a relationship, but as is, I'm 20, still a virgin, and have never been in a relationship. That's probably going to end up staying that way for a variety of reasons, so I may as well wish for something to boost confidence for and get validation for (like dick size) until whenever that time comes (if it ever comes).

 

[ddgggg]

There are billions of people on the planet! The fact that there are lots of guys depends on what you define as lots. With a number that large, there are millions of huge guys, but it is still statistically rare.

are you jealous of tall guys? Or guys in really good shape? Or with better hair than you? Better looking than you?

there is always someone that is better at something - that is life. Focus more on things you actually impact not those that are god given or just luck or genetics. You can control effort. You can’t control history.

I know there's aways someone better at something, but it's hardly ever just something. It's often times a lot of things (more money, bigger dick, fulfilling relationship/career, taller, more muscular, more conventionally masculine). And I'm sure I can focus on things I can control, but I'd still lack compared to other people on basis of the things I can control, as well as on basis of things I can't control.