feeling really envious of other guys w/ bigger dicks

[ddgggg]

You have chosen some poor role models, no doubt because you have twisted notions of masculinity. Change your role models. Read some biographies. Study some classic movies featuring male protagonists. However, I don't think you will because you would rather wallow in obdurate, intellectual conceit.

Another thing I wanted to add...is the intellectual conceit in the room with us right now? What about anything I said over the progression of this thread comes off as excessive pride/narcissism/self-indulgence?

 

[ddgggg]

All you have to do to accept yourself is to stop thinking you arent good enough. Literally you are the person making yourself feel bad. You are the judge beating yourself over your head with comparisons to the top 1%.

No one is saying you can't want to better yourself or improve your looks.

No one is saying you're just as sexy as all the top 1% as you are now.

No one is saying that no one is affected by social media and its allure of sexy people doing sexy things all the time and being fawned over.

We are saying you are literally being obsessed and its destroying you and the only one who can stop it is you. The step to do so have been outlined repeatedly by many many different people here who empathize and sympathize.

But every. Single. Time. You "yes but" or "to be fair" and reinstate your very flawed and destructive obsessive thinking back to center.

It's practically impossible to not think I'm not good enough, I'm gonna be honest. I've tried, and it just feels like I'm lying to myself. I talked to me parents about how I feel, two different therapists, and even started taking meds, and it hasn't made that big of a difference. Like if I'm standing next to or see a dude who is more muscular, taller, and better-looking than me, how wouldn't I feel at least a little bad about myself in comparison?

 

[FrankieGuile]

Another thing I wanted to add...is the intellectual conceit in the room with us right now? What about anything I said over the progression of this thread comes off as excessive pride/narcissism/self-indulgence?

It is a conceit that your notions of masculinity tied to penis size will not change no matter how many respondents try to set you straight. You seem determined to wallow in a combination of envy and self-pity -- neither of which are masculine traits no matter how big the schlong.

 

[ddgggg]

It is a conceit that your notions of masculinity tied to penis size will not change no matter how many respondents try to set you straight. You seem determined to wallow in a combination of envy and self-pity -- neither of which are masculine traits no matter how big the schlong.

It just doesn't feel right to be self-assured/confident if you're not enough, I don't know. And also, I didn't just think it was dick size that correlated to masculinity - I thought it was attractiveness, being hairy, tall, muscular, and deep-voiced too. Y'know, like the guys in the classic movies that you recommended I watched

 

[Murphys]

It just doesn't feel right to be self-assured/confident if you're not enough, I don't know. And also, I didn't just think it was dick size that correlated to masculinity - I thought it was attractiveness, being hairy, tall, muscular, and deep-voiced too. Y'know, like the guys in the classic movies that you recommended I watched

Any comparison regarding being enough or not is very subjective. If you start chasing external validation for being enough, you’ll always be on the chase. Exhausting and dangerous chase to be on.

 

[FrankieGuile]

It just doesn't feel right to be self-assured/confident if you're not enough, I don't know. And also, I didn't just think it was dick size that correlated to masculinity - I thought it was attractiveness, being hairy, tall, muscular, and deep-voiced too. Y'know, like the guys in the classic movies that you recommended I watched

Nope. It's attitude. Ambition. Individualism. Integrity. Reliability. And there are more, none of which are physical traits. Your best source for understanding that which is "masculine" is talking with females.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I get the impression that those classic movies featuring male protagonists epitomize the standard of masculinity I said in my post...no? Like Clint Walker. And it's not like I would rather wallow in that way - people just like and respect hotter people (and by extension, hotter guys more), hence the halo effect, and hence this site as a collective. I'm not trying to be stubborn or mean or anything like that - just trying to understand.

Try observing character and not physical features. Perhaps you are too visually stimulated by the male form to look beyond it. But beyond it is where you'll find masculinity -- or not.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

It's practically impossible to not think I'm not good enough, I'm gonna be honest. I've tried, and it just feels like I'm lying to myself. I talked to me parents about how I feel, two different therapists, and even started taking meds, and it hasn't made that big of a difference. Like if I'm standing next to or see a dude who is more muscular, taller, and better-looking than me, how wouldn't I feel at least a little bad about myself in comparison?

No one is saying you wont feel bad in comparison. The point is it ultimately doesnt matter. Almost literally no one can be that super dude and we all go on finding value in each other anyway. You saying this makes it seem like you value your self in such high regard, you must be the best to feel good about yourself.

Its extremely egocentric and borders on narcissism. Two people have mentioned this to you and also that a hallmark clue to a person being egocentirc/narcissistic is the inabilty to see others perspectives and resistance in trying to change their own perspectives and thinking. These things can be worked on with your therapist you see. Tell them you think you may be egocentric or narcissistic and want help with it.

This is a test by the way. If you refuse to try and talk to your therapist about this... it furthers evidence of these suspicions. If you truly and honestly tell them, they will give you ways to work on it and you will gain the skills to overcome these feelings of inadequacy. You claim you would do anything to make this feeling go away or feel better about yourself. Prove it. I promise you this is the way. You are showing signs of lacking of empathy or compassion for all. You only value the top. It can be helped but you have to truly WANT to change. Good luck...

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Another thing I wanted to add...is the intellectual conceit in the room with us right now? What about anything I said over the progression of this thread comes off as excessive pride/narcissism/self-indulgence?

This... worries me if you cant see it. It's literally a hallmark clue of egocentricsm and narcissism.

 

[ddgggg]

No one is saying you wont feel bad in comparison. The point is it ultimately doesnt matter. Almost literally no one can be that super dude and we all go on finding value in each other anyway. You saying this makes it seem like you value your self in such high regard, you must be the best to feel good about yourself.

Its extremely egocentric and borders on narcissism. Two people have mentioned this to you and also that a hallmark clue to a person being egocentirc/narcissistic is the inabilty to see others perspectives and resistance in trying to change their own perspectives and thinking. These things can be worked on with your therapist you see. Tell them you think you may be egocentric or narcissistic and want help with it.

This is a test by the way. If you refuse to try and talk to your therapist about this... it furthers evidence of these suspicions. If you truly and honestly tell them, they will give you ways to work on it and you will gain the skills to overcome these feelings of inadequacy. You claim you would do anything to make this feeling go away or feel better about yourself. Prove it. I promise you this is the way. You are showing signs of lacking of empathy or compassion for all. You only value the top. It can be helped but you have to truly WANT to change. Good luck...

I don't really know how wanting to be like other people means I'm narcissistic lack empty/compassion for other people. It just means I want to be like those other people. I'm not really understand with what you made that connection...

 

[ddgggg]

This... worries me if you cant see it. It's literally a hallmark clue of egocentricsm and narcissism.

I talked about how I feel bad about my body on multiple bases compared to other guys. Again, how is that egocentrism/narcissism?

 

[Cum_is_Great]

It's practically impossible to not think I'm not good enough, I'm gonna be honest. I've tried, and it just feels like I'm lying to myself. I talked to me parents about how I feel, two different therapists, and even started taking meds, and it hasn't made that big of a difference. Like if I'm standing next to or see a dude who is more muscular, taller, and better-looking than me, how wouldn't I feel at least a little bad about myself in comparison?

Instead of feeling bad in comparison, how about awe and reverence and respect for male beauty? Unless you have to have what he has which... is very egocentric.

Only those who value themselves extremely highly burn with envy over random strangers they see and stand next to for a few minutes

I don't really know how wanting to be like other people means I'm narcissistic lack empty/compassion for other people. It just means I want to be like those other people. I'm not really understand with what you made that connection...

Its isnt about wanting to be like other people. Its that you literally see yourself as valueless and worthless as you are now. And if you do, then others in your same or lower position are valueless and worthless as well. If you dont feel that way for others, then why are you being unfair and treating yourself differently?. Treating everyone with love, compassion and empathy makes it impossible to hate yourself for being different. You see the value in all people in all walks of life, including yourself.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I talked about how I feel bad about my body on multiple bases compared to other guys. Again, how is that egocentrism/narcissism?

And again, your trying so hard to not say "hmm maybe I am a bit egocentric" and instead push back so hard makes me feel even stronger that it ultimately is the source of your problems. Good luck with your journey.

 

[ddgggg]

Instead of feeling bad in comparison, how about awe and reverence and respect for male beauty? Unless you have to have what he has which... is very egocentric.

Only those who value themselves extremely highly burn with envy over random strangers they see and stand next to for a few minutes

Its isnt about wanting to be like other people. Its that you literally see yourself as valueless and worthless as you are now. And if you do, then others in your same or lower position are valueless and worthless as well. If you dont feel that way for others, then why are you being unfair and treating yourself differently?. Treating everyone with love, compassion and empathy makes it impossible to hate yourself for being different. You see the value in all people in all walks of life, including yourself.

1) Again - how is it egocentric for me to wish I had what other guys just have as is, often time rather than not, things that they didn't work for (dick size, height, etc.). 2) If I were secure in myself and what I had to offer as a person (i.e. valued myself), then I wouldn't be envying other people, what you said doesn't really make sense to me, I'm going to be real. 3) I never said others in my same / lower position are valueless, and I don't feel that way for others. It's just different for me.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

) I never said others in my same / lower position are valueless, and I don't feel that way for others. It's just different for me

And I literally asked you a question in regards to this and showed a way to fix it if you dont know why.

If you dont feel that way for others, then why are you being unfair and treating yourself differently?. Treating everyone with love, compassion and empathy makes it impossible to hate yourself for being different. You see the value in all people in all walks of life, including yourself

 

[ddgggg]

And again, your trying so hard to not say "hmm maybe I am a bit egocentric" and instead push back so hard makes me feel even stronger that it ultimately is the source of your problems. Good luck with your journey.

I see another guy that looks the way I wish I looked. I want to look like other guy and feel bad/insecure that I don't. What don't you get?

 

[Cum_is_Great]

what you said doesn't really make sense to me, I'm going to be real.

More evidence of being unable to see others perspectives which is literally the definition for egocentrism. My dude the more you speak the more you prove you need to talk to your therapist about this...

 

[ddgggg]

If you dont feel that way for others, then why are you being unfair and treating yourself differently?.

Because then I could push myself to be like the people I want to be like and work to hide how I otherwise deviate from that.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

Because then I could push myself to be like the people I want to be like and work to hide how I otherwise deviate from that.

We're talking in circles my dude. You can't see how this is the literal problem. Why hide parts of yourself? We all see and like you as a person. You claim you like and see the value in others who arent the top 1% as well.

You however choose one person above all the rest. One person who has special needs. One person who you judge and value differently. You treat that one person with disgust and dislike. You dont like that person. You refuse to value that person until they have the same values and looks as the top 1%. You claim that person cant bring value to another because someone else exists that has a higher value. You think that person is worthless because they are "worth less" than others.

Can you not see how that situation, it seems like you put such a high importance and centeredness on that one person? Treating them differently and being so mean to them. Being totally unfair on that person?

And then that person cries out: "I'm feeling so bad about myself. I feel worthless! I wish I had worth like those other people!" When that one person gets their value from you. And you refuse to give them any value because they don't look a certain way yet. You think being tough and mean will motivate them for greatness. But you aren't being fair. You need to give them value along the way.

We all feel envy. And as @blkcocktail above said, we as black men unfortunately are valued for our dick size unfairly. It affects us all on some level. How much we let it affects us is our choice. He tries to divert the energy elsewhere instead of wallowing in despair. You are currently wallowing whether you realize it or not. The issue of course is the fact you cannot realize it. (Inability to see from our perspective Or outside your own. Aka egocentism. Which we ALL are susceptible to to varying degrees!)

 

[Evenflow618]

Stop being a crybaby and do penis enlargement for gains