How many close "straight friends" you suspect or confirmed that are bi curious ?

[Jubbutuk]

Having used this website, reddit and other hookup forums, I can't help but notice the amount of "straight but curious" folks (always on the down low just like me). I can't be the only one in my circle right ? I'm 30M and have a lot guy friends - and I've been trying to find someone that can relates, that I could talk to and share this side of me. At my age, its a pain and a lot of energy to go a look for new friendship. I have suspected 1 or 2 friends and have given them hints about me, but it never really worked - I guess my "Bifi" (bi radar) needs some updates

So, the question: have you ever suspected and confirmed that a close friend is also bi or curious ? What made you suspect it and what happened next ?

A couple through Grindr, yeah: a few years ago.
Went to one's wedding to his wife last year. They have two kids and they're very happy.

 

[bidudeDL]

I have a couple of mates I don’t think are bi but definitely open to wanking together. I’ve brought it up drunk when talking about porn or whatever we like to see people’s reactions. I’ve wanked with two mates, one stroking each other and one just ourselves. At rugby I brought it up with one guy who wasn’t game but showed me a pic of his hard cock and this week another team mate showed me videos of him fucking his bird and said they’re gonna start an onlyfans.
My advice, just have conversations about sex/wanking/porn, ask hypothetical questions etc. get a feel for what people like

How do you bring this up ? Like, we always talk about porn, share our kinks and all - should I just tell him "hey bro, we should def plan a porn night and jerk together" ? Isn't it weird to ask considering we are in our late 20s/early 30s. How can I ask without getting myself too much at risk ? I know I'm asking the impossible hehe

 

[12843051]

I just come home drunk and if we have chatted about it that night whack some porn on without asking and see how he reacts. At that stage you can pretend it was a joke or continue. Then talk about it for a bit while grabbing your dick, see how he reacts to that and just be like “fuck it I need a wank, you game and it never leaves this room?” Blame drink if they say no or have fun. Make out like you did it on a whim

 

[hamptonreed]

I just come home drunk and if we have chatted about it that night whack some porn on without asking and see how he reacts. At that stage you can pretend it was a joke or continue. Then talk about it for a bit while grabbing your dick, see how he reacts to that and just be like “fuck it I need a wank, you game and it never leaves this room?” Blame drink if they say no or have fun. Make out like you did it on a whim

That’s exactly how you do it. I’ve rubbed one out with at least half of my guy friends, even ones who aren’t in the least bit curious, and this is exactly how it’s done. I’m in my mid 30s and this still happens. I also have numerous friends that I trade pics and vids with - sometimes it’s us with our wives/girlfriends and sometimes it’s just solo stuff. I even have two or three that are comfortable with ass play during a bate sesh or sending pics/vids of it to each other.

You just gotta go for it in a nonchalant way, with far less conversation than you’re probably thinking. If he stays around when you put the porn on, there’s a 90% chance he’s down to get your dicks out. You’re probably gonna have to go first though. Just put on the porn, give it a minute, then put your hand in your pants without saying anything and start playing with yourself (keep your eyes on the screen - don’t look at him yet). He will likely be fine with this, even if he’s in that 10% that will freak if you pull your dick out. Give it another minute or two and then unbutton your pants to make it easier but don’t get your dick out. DON’T LOOK AT HIM. (He will probably be secretly looking at you though)

If at some point during all that he starts doing the same thing, you don’t need to have a conversation about pulling your dick out. Just do it. Don’t stand up and drop your pants though, just pull them down enough to get your dick out, like you’re taking a piss. He will very likely follow your lead. Then you can get the pants all the way off. And once your dick is out, you can look at him.

If he never puts his hands in his pants, you’ll need to say something like “I gotta get this boner out of these jeans, you cool if I rub one out?” And then improvise from there based on his response and general reactions as things progress. If he says no, drop it and shut off the porn.

It may take more than one session to get where you’re wanting to be, but you gotta let those sessions happen naturally - don’t suggest it outright - and then just play it all by ear.

 

[bidudeDL]

That’s exactly how you do it. I’ve rubbed one out with at least half of my guy friends, even ones who aren’t in the least bit curious, and this is exactly how it’s done. I’m in my mid 30s and this still happens. I also have numerous friends that I trade pics and vids with - sometimes it’s us with our wives/girlfriends and sometimes it’s just solo stuff. I even have two or three that are comfortable with ass play during a bate sesh or sending pics/vids of it to each other.

You just gotta go for it in a nonchalant way, with far less conversation than you’re probably thinking. If he stays around when you put the porn on, there’s a 90% chance he’s down to get your dicks out. You’re probably gonna have to go first though. Just put on the porn, give it a minute, then put your hand in your pants without saying anything and start playing with yourself (keep your eyes on the screen - don’t look at him yet). He will likely be fine with this, even if he’s in that 10% that will freak if you pull your dick out. Give it another minute or two and then unbutton your pants to make it easier but don’t get your dick out. DON’T LOOK AT HIM. (He will probably be secretly looking at you though)

If at some point during all that he starts doing the same thing, you don’t need to have a conversation about pulling your dick out. Just do it. Don’t stand up and drop your pants though, just pull them down enough to get your dick out, like you’re taking a piss. He will very likely follow your lead. Then you can get the pants all the way off. And once your dick is out, you can look at him.

If he never puts his hands in his pants, you’ll need to say something like “I gotta get this boner out of these jeans, you cool if I rub one out?” And then improvise from there based on his response and general reactions as things progress. If he says no, drop it and shut off the porn.

It may take more than one session to get where you’re wanting to be, but you gotta let those sessions happen naturally - don’t suggest it outright - and then just play it all by ear.

Wow thank you for this ! You seem like a pro at this ! Will def try to apply haha. Beside porn, any other example ? Eg. If the convo is about porn or dicks or gay/bi stuff.

 

[hamptonreed]

Wow thank you for this ! You seem like a pro at this ! Will def try to apply haha. Beside porn, any other example ? Eg. If the convo is about porn or dicks or gay/bi stuff.

I’m sure there are guys who could pull this off with a conversation instead of porn, I just don’t know how to. Conversation has never really worked for me, in fact it usually has had the opposite effect. The exception, again just in my experience, has been with texting and pic trading, but that’s a whole different thing.
Regardless of whether it’s in person or you’re texting, though, I wouldn’t suggest “gay stuff,” whatever that is, as a conversation topic. That’s not how you do it. I would say that at least 75% of straight men, if not more, are willing to Jack off with another straight guy, and of that number most have done it at least once. Fewer are willing to do it with a bi guy and I would guess the number who are willing to do it with a gay guy hovers near zero. If you bring anything gay into it, he’ll never get his dick out.

 

[bidudeDL]

I’m sure there are guys who could pull this off with a conversation instead of porn, I just don’t know how to. Conversation has never really worked for me, in fact it usually has had the opposite effect. The exception, again just in my experience, has been with texting and pic trading, but that’s a whole different thing.
Regardless of whether it’s in person or you’re texting, though, I wouldn’t suggest “gay stuff,” whatever that is, as a conversation topic. That’s not how you do it. I would say that at least 75% of straight men, if not more, are willing to Jack off with another straight guy, and of that number most have done it at least once. Fewer are willing to do it with a bi guy and I would guess the number who are willing to do it with a gay guy hovers near zero. If you bring anything gay into it, he’ll never get his dick out.

Yeah... but he always bring these topics when we're 1 on 1 - also I shared a dick pic once, which he complimented a few times. I wondered if he was just testing me to see hiw far I would go, but even then, if he is completely straight, why evn bother right ?

 

[deleted15291411]

I was thinking, I have no idea whether any of my close friends are bi or curious. But if any of them asked me straight out, I would tell them I was bi. Unconsummated, but definitely bi.

 

[dickthrobbing]

I did have a hook up many years ago now, when the guy turned up he was the 21 yo son of friends of mine.

Slight embarrassment on both of us at first but he was keen I needed a fuck

We had a few meetings until he moved away

So you never know

 

[deleted17938181]

This isn't going to be helpful.

I don't look for signals or pry into the sex lives of close friends. They are platonic and I keep them that way.

I'm a sixty yo boomer and most of my current closest friends are older, married or have S/Os. I've never told any of them that I'm bi. They suspect it anyway because I never married and never bring dates to our group activities.

When I was younger I had different close friends but still kept them platonic. The only times I violated that rule was with a few who clearly weren't interested in just being friends. We had flings and went our separate ways.

In my experience there are friends and there are lovers and never the twain shall meet.

Your point of view is the reality.
If you have friends, they are friends. If you for some reason feel attracted to them, you won't put in danger the relationship.
I think people comes to your life as a partner, friend, lover or a platonic, as you said, but one thing can't turn to the other just like that. In human relationships there are boundaries.
Thanks for sharing your point of view.
It's difficult to start talking about sex with someone who isn't intended to do that.

 

[deleted16577781]

I’m sure there are guys who could pull this off with a conversation instead of porn, I just don’t know how to. Conversation has never really worked for me, in fact it usually has had the opposite effect. The exception, again just in my experience, has been with texting and pic trading, but that’s a whole different thing.
Regardless of whether it’s in person or you’re texting, though, I wouldn’t suggest “gay stuff,” whatever that is, as a conversation topic. That’s not how you do it. I would say that at least 75% of straight men, if not more, are willing to Jack off with another straight guy, and of that number most have done it at least once. Fewer are willing to do it with a bi guy and I would guess the number who are willing to do it with a gay guy hovers near zero. If you bring anything gay into it, he’ll never get his dick out.

This is interesting for me because as a gay guy I cannot do this. I'm 'too' gay and I've worked / seen / intuited exactly what you say. It's a complicated / complex situation and I've missed out because of my 'gayness' or 'homo edge'.
On the other hand a friend who is tall, 'blokey' and smokes, can pick any one up and that includes stopping at the traffic lights while driving. "He is Safe" mostly ....

 

[deleted784661]

This isn't going to be helpful.

I don't look for signals or pry into the sex lives of close friends. They are platonic and I keep them that way.

I'm a sixty yo boomer and most of my current closest friends are older, married or have S/Os. I've never told any of them that I'm bi. They suspect it anyway because I never married and never bring dates to our group activities.

When I was younger I had different close friends but still kept them platonic. The only times I violated that rule was with a few who clearly weren't interested in just being friends. We had flings and went our separate ways.

In my experience there are friends and there are lovers and never the twain shall meet.

I have a friend my age,73, who's never been married. Seems interested in women, almost got married. He has a close friend that goes motorcycle riding with. I don't go because I don't ride a bike. I don't think he's bi,but have no proof. I won't ask either I feel that someday I'll be surprised, we'll see what happens,BTW,I'm married.

 

[bi2]

In my case, none.

My bi sexuality is a private matter and no one else's concern or perogative.

Once every two to three weeks for an hour, I get to engage in MM sex with my fuckbuddy. I have my needs and desires completely satisfied by him, so its not like I am thirsting for more or different opportunities with any other guy.

I am not attracted nor have ever have been to any of my male friends, the curiosity has not even once been there.

I dont expect my male friends would understand my reasons for wanting to engage in occasional MM sex, so why would I make them feel uncomfortable in discussing a matter in which case is private. It doesnt effect my friendship with them in any manner.

 

[Type]

A fair amount. I had early experiences exploring sexuality with my peers. So since then if the temperature and signs are right, I'll explore pretty comfortably. Sometimes it seems just about testing comfort levels.

I'm definitely into JO buds as a thing, and can keep that separate from other forms, so that helps.

But I definitely stumbled into some intimate encounters elsewise on accident with two different friends after some booze was involved and it was initiated by them, and I would have never thought they'd cross any lines.

 

[bidudeDL]

A fair amount. I had early experiences exploring sexuality with my peers. So since then if the temperature and signs are right, I'll explore pretty comfortably. Sometimes it seems just about testing comfort levels.

I'm definitely into JO buds as a thing, and can keep that separate from other forms, so that helps.

But I definitely stumbled into some intimate encounters elsewise on accident with two different friends after some booze was involved and it was initiated by them, and I would have never thought they'd cross any lines.

How did they initiate and what were the signals ? That is so hot ! Lucky guy haha

 

[bidudeDL]

So we met the other day at his place, both drunk and high amd started talking about porn. At some point we were talking about sex with our gfs and I knew he had joked in the past about sharing our sex tape. I had one on my phpne and asked if ge'd be down. After 30 min of debating, chickening out, we agreed/promised (made a pact) that it would remain between us strictly. And I showed him mine and then he showed me his and we both jokes about it. He covered his eyes to not see the end of my tape where I cum of my gf, saying its too nasty while laughing (I replayed him multiple time fircing him to at least see the end, not sure if he watched it - we were both super stressed, and right after we switched topics as if it never happened.. Before that, at some point during the night he also joked about him suspecting me of having gay kinks. We also watched a bit of porn at the beginning... but other than that, we were very respectful and it was more of a bro vibe. Not sure if more could have had happen. But one thing is sure, sharing this very private part of our lives might have made us reach a new level of friendship/bromance ? Maybe we'll be more comfortable sharing other secrets or even videos in the future ? What do you think ?

 

[HungDutchTeen]

Having used this website, reddit and other hookup forums, I can't help but notice the amount of "straight but curious" folks (always on the down low just like me). I can't be the only one in my circle right ? I'm 30M and have a lot guy friends - and I've been trying to find someone that can relates, that I could talk to and share this side of me. At my age, its a pain and a lot of energy to go a look for new friendship. I have suspected 1 or 2 friends and have given them hints about me, but it never really worked - I guess my "Bifi" (bi radar) needs some updates

So, the question: have you ever suspected and confirmed that a close friend is also bi or curious ? What made you suspect it and what happened next ?

For now its only a suspension. But when ur close to your friends, sharing showers, locker rooms, saunas and so on, you kinda get the vibe you know...

 

[bidudeDL]

So we met the other day at his place, both drunk and high amd started talking about porn. At some point we were talking about sex with our gfs and I knew he had joked in the past about sharing our sex tape. I had one on my phpne and asked if ge'd be down. After 30 min of debating, chickening out, we agreed/promised (made a pact) that it would remain between us strictly. And I showed him mine and then he showed me his and we both jokes about it. He covered his eyes to not see the end of my tape where I cum of my gf, saying its too nasty while laughing (I replayed him multiple time fircing him to at least see the end, not sure if he watched it - we were both super stressed, and right after we switched topics as if it never happened.. Before that, at some point during the night he also joked about him suspecting me of having gay kinks. We also watched a bit of porn at the beginning... but other than that, we were very respectful and it was more of a bro vibe. Not sure if more could have had happen. But one thing is sure, sharing this very private part of our lives might have made us reach a new level of friendship/bromance ? Maybe we'll be more comfortable sharing other secrets or even videos in the future ? What do you think ?

At some point, he asked me if I was into this because seeing a bro fuck turned me on or if it was more out of curiosity.

Any feedback or comment guys ?

 

[WhatNow22]

I did have a hook up many years ago now, when the guy turned up he was the 21 yo son of friends of mine.

Slight embarrassment on both of us at first but he was keen I needed a fuck

We had a few meetings until he moved away

Wow. I wish I could've heard those conversations. Was 21 a top or a bottom? Tell us more?

 

[bidudeDL]

Bump