It seems many men (myself included lol) sometimes have a hard time attracting a woman or even worse; failing to read a ladies hints of interest.
If You Were A Man How Would You Go About To Attract A Woman?
- Thread starter Rewardheragain148
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Attraction is not a math equation. You cannot understand it through rules. So questions like this have no answer, other than most women like guys who are confident but relaxed, don't come off pushy or desperate, and seem interested enough to listen as much as they talk. But you could be all of this and the woman you're into still might not be into you.
Right right .
Us men suck at reading hints though and that’s the killer right there .
Us men suck at reading hints though and that’s the killer right there .
Women expect men to suck at that. I don't think it's a problem to be bad at reading hints to a point. Unless you really, really, really suck at it. Like to where you just aren't picking up on basic social cues. My experience is guys who are that next level clueless usually have a confidence issue.
“Women expect men to suck at that“
^^^Never knew that . Thx, I feel comfortable being oblivious now lol.
A lot of things are code for lacking confidence though. Guys who like to say nice guys finish last usually mean guys lacking confidence finish last, as being nice is being confused with being passive. Yes women do know guys aren't great at hints.
If we're really getting analytical, guys need to have the confidence to engage with a woman in a lightly flirtateous/friendly way. Women aren't going to give overt hints if we don't know if you're interested. Successful guys can make it clear they're interested without seeming desperate or pushy. When we think a guy is interested, that's when we give the easier hints, if we're interested.
I don't have to imagine being a guy, I'm a woman who is also emotionally and sexually attracted to other women.
I couldn't tell you what I've done to attract any of them. I'm so flipping socially awkward that I tend to just fluff my colorful tail feathers and let the freak flag fly. It seems to do a disproportionately though acceptable job at attracting ladies and gents. I talk, well, ramble. Sometimes incoherently about whatever book or nerdy thing I'm obsessing over in that minute.
Maybe that works? Hell, if a gent was chatting with me over nerdy obsessions of his or even a book, I'd be hooked lol. He's my people. So, yeah? Be yourself, be confident. Don't hide beyond some toxic bravado of being manly. Listen to ladies, they are sometimes pretty clear about intentions, less hint hint nudge nudge.
Really though, what am I saying? I'm a socially awkward penguin. My mate is arguably more weird than I am, and most ladies or men I attract seem to be the same.
Don't listen to me, I was bored and typing this while also thinking about potatos in the air fryer and testing more cookie recipes.
I couldn't tell you what I've done to attract any of them. I'm so flipping socially awkward that I tend to just fluff my colorful tail feathers and let the freak flag fly. It seems to do a disproportionately though acceptable job at attracting ladies and gents. I talk, well, ramble. Sometimes incoherently about whatever book or nerdy thing I'm obsessing over in that minute.
Maybe that works? Hell, if a gent was chatting with me over nerdy obsessions of his or even a book, I'd be hooked lol. He's my people. So, yeah? Be yourself, be confident. Don't hide beyond some toxic bravado of being manly. Listen to ladies, they are sometimes pretty clear about intentions, less hint hint nudge nudge.
Really though, what am I saying? I'm a socially awkward penguin. My mate is arguably more weird than I am, and most ladies or men I attract seem to be the same.
Don't listen to me, I was bored and typing this while also thinking about potatos in the air fryer and testing more cookie recipes.
What you're saying is you're yourself and you're comfortable with that, and you're content to attract those who are looking for what it is you got. Bingo.
Great feedback...
A lot of focus on confidence and self esteem as a factor it seems.
Some men just don’t believe a woman is interested in them .
A lot of focus on confidence and self esteem as a factor it seems.
Some men just don’t believe a woman is interested in them .
That, and I think some don't know how to accept rejection and move on.
It's projection. They (men who hold little or not so little grudges for being turned down) likely wouldn't say no to many women if the were approached because they simply have lower standards. Which is fine. What's not fine it's when they get angry at women who don't have the same low standard.
Some men can't help but get angry when they don't meet those standards because they take it as a personal slight against them. They think they need to "conquer" and it's fucking stupid. It turns into this:
As for how to attract a woman, I don't know. I don't know how to intentionally attract anyone. They either are into me, or they aren't. I'm either into them, or I'm not. It's not something I intentionally focus on or attempt to control.
They might be right. There are no guarantees. But confidence is attractive. I'm talking about actual confidence, not fake pushy macho stuff.
This thread is way too generalizing. You're being way too hard on gender differences.
I have been turned down before. For being "ugly" or for being a "whore".
Please, stop thinking women don't struggle just as much as men when it comes to finding a compatible partner.
I have been turned down before. For being "ugly" or for being a "whore".
Please, stop thinking women don't struggle just as much as men when it comes to finding a compatible partner.
Agreed, every one of the generalizations is wrong. But the world he described is probably what things look like to a really insecure and unknowledgeable guy.
Oh and oh a side note, I can get laid any time I want, but that doesn't mean I can get who I want any time I want.
Great feedback,
I guess there is no generalization... there’s variables for everything .
I guess there is no generalization... there’s variables for everything .
Thank you for taking it.
Yes. Exactly. There's never been or going to be a formula for any person to be able to attract any other.
As for having a hard time picking up on hints, you can be respectful and just ask if someone is interested in maybe going out for coffee/lunch, and kindly accepting if they say no. You just have to stop making it such a big deal *for yourself*.
Being rejected isn't the end of anything. It's another opportunity to find someone more compatible.
Here's a valid generalization - men and women are different, and so men's insecurities and women's insecurities look different. And there are other general differences. Men are more likely the initiators and so they think about rejection more. But that doesn't mean women don't get rejected. Women are physically weaker so women care more about feeling at ease with a guy because we're built to be aware of the creep factor/risk of assault. This is all primal stuff. But insecurity or low confidence is not a male thing, it's a human thing. And goodness knows there are women who settle for losers because they don't think they deserve better.
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I’ve told parts of this before.
In 1988, I was beaten within an inch of my life.
Why did this guy do it? First reason was I’d not responded to his advances.
Secondly he believed I was less than him because of my ancestry.
I fully believe that if I’d been a “typical American,” I’d only have been hit and shoved a few times.
See, I had the gall and audacity to be all involved in my work. And I was oblivious to his drunken advances.
I could neither see nor hear him. I was onstage with the band.
I embarrassed him. (What men fear most)
So he wreaked violence on me. (What women fear most)
In 1988, I was beaten within an inch of my life.
Why did this guy do it? First reason was I’d not responded to his advances.
Secondly he believed I was less than him because of my ancestry.
I fully believe that if I’d been a “typical American,” I’d only have been hit and shoved a few times.
See, I had the gall and audacity to be all involved in my work. And I was oblivious to his drunken advances.
I could neither see nor hear him. I was onstage with the band.
I embarrassed him. (What men fear most)
So he wreaked violence on me. (What women fear most)
Thanx for sharing such a personal event . Sorry that happen to you...
“Men fear a woman will laugh at him and women fear a man will kill her”... I think that’s the famous quote .
I actually get women who giggle excessively a lot around me too sometimes and sometimes I think they’re teasing me.. I just brush it off.
Us men can be brutes sometimes unfortunately
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giggling can be nerves, can be positive or negative.
Fear elicits giggles (think nervous laughter)
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And humans can be brutes.
I’m pretty sure if I’d had a weapon, he’d be dead. Or we’d both be dead.
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