I see the thread has circled back to the sexuality discussions, lovely! /s
It will keep on doing so. When you have a person speak on issues pertaining to core queer experiences like coming out, bullying and representation, it isn't odd to hope that this person should either be queer themselves or be familiar enough with the queer community to be aware.
I don't think this expectation of authenticity is wrong. I do think that trying to pressurise people to out themselves is wrong, especially if its an eighteen year old.
I believe we absolutely don't have any right to what an eighteen year old does in his personal life. I also believe, that for a kid who has been working for 10 years and trying to make it big in the film industry, it is natural to be more protective about your image and sexuality. I also respect his personal choice not to reveal his sexuality, though he is confident and comfortable with it.
Yet, I loathe people who try to imply that coming out is not important. It is always important when celebrities or people in positions of power and privilege come out, as this leads to more representation and strengthens the community. If you are a Heartstopper fan, you would realise how important it is to be in a loving LGBTQ friendly community. This community comes into existence because people reveal themselves, as queer or as allies. Imagine if Stephen Fry, Ian Mckellen never came out publicly, considering society then was unaccepting of queer folks. Even Nick Nelson got the courage to actually kiss Charlie because he saw Tara and Darcy kiss in public.
I wish society was less involved in others' private lives and coming out was just a statement you could put out once and then forget. In reality, it is followed by a thousand ramifications instead. As an audience, we have to accept that Kit's not ready for it yet. I think anyone could extend this much grace to an eighteen year old.