Male Bisexuality Acceptance

[Lovetobetouched]

My fuckbuddy and I have never had argument, disagreement or fight. We have been having a physical relationship since 2020. Thats not to say some boundaries have been crossed occasionally, but otherwise we have really good chemistry and understanding in regards to our sex. I think the reason is because we are both there for the sex only, its simplicity and easily accessible without any complications. He messages me a day and time, I agree, we meet, we fuck, I then usually leave afterwards. If I happen to sleep over, its so he/we can have sex again later that night and or in the morning. Neither one of us feels used and we both enjoy what the other gives us. I meet his needs and he definitely meets my needs.

He also spices our sex life up all the time, there are times where it can be rather depraved, degrading and humiliating and other times he can be very passionate, tender, sensual and almost love making in the way he treats and fucks me. While I have learnt to pick up small cues of what to expect before we might up, I like the uncertainty to the kind of sex we have.

Again in a perfect world, where time was no issue. I would enjoy depraved sex first, followed later by the intimate kind. Simply because when we meet up, we are both horny and ready to go immediately. When he "makes love" to me, its slower, longer and lot more relaxing. Its funny, as I would say this is the only "issue/problem" we have. lol.

I will say I think because he is bi and also very much in love with his wife, it makes my life a lot easier and happier because that emotional aspect he gets from her, much like how I get it from girlfriends. There is no jealousies or feelings of being used. We continue our physical relationship, because we have good sex together, which is private, discrete and stress and drama free.

My only small complaint, is that I only wish we could fuck a bit more regularly. Once a week would be awesome.

At least in my experience, I could never be able to engage in MF casual sex, where I could take the girl completely for granted and only worry about my needs being met and satisfied. With MF sex, the inevitable question of "where is this going?", " I am feeling like Im being used" and or not worrying about her emotionally is just never going to happen.

I agree with you. One question. Have you ever fucked him? Not that it’s important- because you both clearly have found what works. But in terms of an occasional role reversal that would introduce an interesting dynamic

 

[bi2]

I agree with you. One question. Have you ever fucked him? Not that it’s important- because you both clearly have found what works. But in terms of an occasional role reversal that would introduce an interesting dynamic

No.

I was first introduced to MM sex when I was a lot younger by a much older and larger male neighbour and I was condtioned to take up a very feminine submissive role, that is he feminized me a during our encounters. As I derived a lot of pleasure being this way from my first encounters, when I engage in MM sex, taking a top role with a man is not something I am interested in doing now. Not to mention also, my fuckbuddy is a very strong masculine alpha top and views himself as "straight" and its not something he has ever suggested or wanted. I guess why break something that works well between us, when neither of us wants to engage in role reversal.

 

[biguyinslo]

Ugh, I can't edit the subject line, I meant Acceptance

Mod note: fixed it for you.

As someone else noted, bisexual men get a bad rap. Too often women and the gay community assume a bisexual man is really gay and adjust hasn’t accepted it yet. As a result of the sigma and lack of acceptance men face I wonder;

How many bisexual men are married to or partnered with a women and not out to her or anyone?

How many bisexual men are married to or partnered with a man?

Thoughts or experiences?

Married to a woman almost 20 years. Love her and don’t want to ever hurt her. No one else I want to spend my life with. She’s my soul mate. But our sex life has suffered after having kids. We are down to about 2 times a month. Very vanilla and predictable. I’ve tried everything to improve it. She’s just not interested and doesn’t have the desire I have. I found out after we were already married that I enjoy being with men once in a while. What started out as getting a blowjob in a steam room eventually turned into me sucking dick and getting fucked. And I like it. I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know if she knows and just chooses to look the other way. I’m terrified of wasting my (sex) life, ruining my marriage, getting an sti, etc. curious what other bi guys think. Thanks for the input!

 

[Lovetobetouched]

No.

I was first introduced to MM sex when I was a lot younger by a much older and larger male neighbour and I was condtioned to take up a very feminine submissive role, that is he feminized me a during our encounters. As I derived a lot of pleasure being this way from my first encounters, when I engage in MM sex, taking a top role with a man is not something I am interested in doing now. Not to mention also, my fuckbuddy is a very strong masculine alpha top and views himself as "straight" and its not something he has ever suggested or wanted. I guess why break something that works well between us, when neither of us wants to engage in role reversal.

Yes. Why break something good. I just say from my point of view it has surprised me what some role reversal has done for me. I appreciate the other more now

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Married to a woman almost 20 years. Love her and don’t want to ever hurt her. No one else I want to spend my life with. She’s my soul mate. But our sex life has suffered after having kids. We are down to about 2 times a month. Very vanilla and predictable. I’ve tried everything to improve it. She’s just not interested and doesn’t have the desire I have. I found out after we were already married that I enjoy being with men once in a while. What started out as getting a blowjob in a steam room eventually turned into me sucking dick and getting fucked. And I like it. I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know if she knows and just chooses to look the other way. I’m terrified of wasting my (sex) life, ruining my marriage, getting an sti, etc. curious what other bi guys think. Thanks for the input!

Many of us have been in a similar position. Not easy

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Yes. Why break something good. I just say from my point of view it has surprised me what some role reversal has done for me. I appreciate the other more now

I think what you two have is gold. Keep at it. Enjoy

 

[bi2]

Yes. Why break something good. I just say from my point of view it has surprised me what some role reversal has done for me. I appreciate the other more now

Both myself and my fuckbuddy, while we take each for "granted" in terms of knowing we have sex on tap so to speak, we both are truly appreciative and grateful of the other. We have even joked about how we think that the other has the most power and control. Ive always insisted that he has, the fact that I almost never say no to a hookup and always enjoy "surrendering" my body and mind to him, has convinced him that he does. Though its never been an issue and he is always respectful and kind to me, outside of sex, lol.

 

[bi2]

Many of us have been in a similar position. Not easy

With my fuckbuddy, he views our hookups (like how I do) as just meaningless, convenient but enjoyable sex. Its just a healthy, fun outlet we provide for each other.

Meeting up for an hour, once a month, does not really define who we are or our feelings.

Mind you when he is fucking me and I am moaning and screaming, "oh my god", he probably does think he is a higher power that is a god, lol.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

With my fuckbuddy, he views our hookups (like how I do) as just meaningless, convenient but enjoyable sex. Its just a healthy, fun outlet we provide for each other.

Meeting up for an hour, once a month, does not really define who we are or our feelings.

Mind you when he is fucking me and I am moaning and screaming, "oh my god", he probably does think he is a higher power that is a god, lol.

Yes. A healthy release. Absolutely

 

[bi2]

Yes. A healthy release. Absolutely

At the end of the day, thats how we both view MM sex.

Its why he keeps calling and I keep turning up.

 

[Pierced Bollocks]

Ugh, I can't edit the subject line, I meant Acceptance

Mod note: fixed it for you.

As someone else noted, bisexual men get a bad rap. Too often women and the gay community assume a bisexual man is really gay and adjust hasn’t accepted it yet. As a result of the sigma and lack of acceptance men face I wonder;

How many bisexual men are married to or partnered with a women and not out to her or anyone?

How many bisexual men are married to or partnered with a man?

Thoughts or experiences?

I think it is better than it was. A generation ago portrayals of bi people in TV and film dramas were machievellian supervillains, often channelling Alan Rickman or Lawrence Olivier playing Richard lll.

I think the recent trans/ gender/ orientation debates/ hysteria has really helped because although they may be perceived as really pushing the boundaries of political correctness it feels like it's buried once and for all the notion that there are only 2 positions.

No one has ever been anti bi to my face. The only bi-phobia I've sort of witnessed was when I was in the kitchen at a party my then boyfriend was hosting and I overheard one of his gay mates saying there was no such thing as bi. I was going to challenge him on this but by the time I got back the moment had gone. He hasn't seen that bloke and his clicquy mates for years, so maybe he dropped them on solidarity.

Incidentally he's not my boyfriend anymore because we had our civil partnership five years ago and we've now been together 10 years now. Also he identifies as gay but he's had more pussy than I have and doesn't rule out more in the future. If I were in his shoes I'd call myself bi but that obviously doesn't fit his self image.

 

[Dutch1984]

I'd guess we're at least a couple generations away from bisexuality being mainstream accepted.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

I'd guess we're at least a couple generations away from bisexuality being mainstream accepted.

A lot of vested interests get upset if we are a real thing. Fluidity is the best concept to accept that things may change as circumstances change

 

[woshilan4]

Back to the Topic. Mostly Bisexual men or women does. And of course, if situations goes wrong with fam or wife/husband disagreed gay sex? Hidding in the straight room is the best way.

 

[TriplePoint PolyBi]

I fell like I'm the odd man out. Solo MM encounters would not be fulfilling to me.

I love being bi and want to love both a woman and man at the same time, the other guy and myself being bi and in love with women and (especially!) if the women are bi themselves, the woman able to be loved by the two bi guys and/or another bi woman at the same time.

To me it's all about loving the awesome human condition of bisexuality for both genders.

On one of the "Ask A Woman" threads, there were quite a few comments of the 100% straight to 75% straight/25% gay women who felt that their man going solo MM behind their back would be a betrayal of trust of their relationship with him. Any good long term relationship is based on respect and trust, so I fall more into that camp than going off and having MM sex without her knowing. And, personally, I'm good with that, as I know I'm bi and love being so as long as there are bi guys and gals here that are OK with me feeling 100% bi inside even if I don't act on it out of respect for my wife and the mostly-straight bi women here at LPSG that I'd like to be friends with.

And in a way I'm jealous that you guys can have your MM sex solo without a woman present at the same time, as I just can't even picture that in my mind as a fantasy.

Hope you guys don't mind.

 

[mrbigdoc]

Bi works so well for me just a bit trougher to get together with other married bi guys but I make the best of it and I do enjoy my encounters....

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Yeah.

Back to the Topic. Mostly Bisexual men or women does. And of course, if situations goes wrong with fam or wife/husband disagreed gay sex? Hidding in the straight room is the best way.

“Hiding in the straight room” or having your cake and eat it too? We are a reality. So many of us are married and some manage to hide the situation from their spouse. Many find that difficult, and yet it’s still not enough for them to come out as bi…. So is that cowardice, pragmatism, greed, selfishness - or is that a reality society imposes? I think if we were really just “in transition” or “in denial” about being gay more of us would come out. But we don’t. Relationships are complex and as you get older there is an emotional bond between a husband and a wife which may still include sex. This is born out of history and shared experience and “projects” like kids and house and home and wider family and community. To blow that up for a bi-sex interest which for men is usually as straight forward as helping a buddy move furniture doesn’t seem realistic. My MM sex partners are great mates. Good friends and we share a special bond (coz our dicks have been up each others arse, or our cocks down each others throats) but I am not romantic with them and I don’t want to set up house and sit on the porch in old age with them. I know this may be different from the Bi sexual a who are homo romantic. But bi in large I meet only men who are hetero romantic but who have a homo sexual side interest. We often talk about women in short skirts or nice tits as much as hairy young fit fellas. I think your stats showing 98% of bi men are married to women make sense of what I just said. We are bi no means the full gamut of bi experience, but my guess is that we are a majority. Married men with families who also like dick.

 

[Rudnov]

I have been with women all my life (im in my late 30s) and have always known I am Bi. I am not open and for a long time one of the biggest reasons was fear of women not wanting to date me because of it. My longest relationship was with a bisexual woman and she and her female friends considered themselves progressive but would all say they would never date a bisexual man even though the majority of them were bisexual themselves. I now feel differently about the situation and feel if a woman isn't ok with it she's probably not right for me. I am now single and trying to navigate hooking up or dating men while not giving my self away online. Also having the fear of no guy wanting to be with me until I am no longer in the closet but I am not yet ready to come out but so ready to explore with a man.

 

[bi2]

Relationships are complex and as you get older there is an emotional bond between a husband and a wife which may still include sex. This is born out of history and shared experience and “projects” like kids and house and home and wider family and community. To blow that up for a bi-sex interest which for men is usually as straight forward as helping a buddy move furniture doesn’t seem realistic. My MM sex partners are great mates. Good friends and we share a special bond (coz our dicks have been up each others arse, or our cocks down each others throats) but I am not romantic with them and I don’t want to set up house and sit on the porch in old age with them.

That pretty much summarizes my situation with my fuckbuddy. He has a deep emotional bond with his wife. though they dont have sex anymore as its a physical issue with here. He doesnt want to be with another woman, so this is where having me as fuckbuddy suits his physical needs being met. I enjoy being fucked by him, so my physical needs are met.

With my fuckbuddy its purely just a physical sexual connection that we have. Its easy, drama and stress free. We both enjoy our roles and our needs being met. We dont need or want an emotional connection from the other. It seems to work well for us, we have been together for a few years.

Of course there are times, when the sex we have can get passionate, sensual, and even "romantic". Definitely there are times when he "makes love" to me. Its different from the norm which is lust and carnal pleasure. When we make love, there is a deep connection that does take place between us during the sexual acts. Once we hav e both cummed, we both are happy and then go off our seperate ways till the next time. Neither of us feel used and both appreciate the other.

While we both want/need/prefer the dominant aggressive nature that my fuckbuddy fucks me, occasionally its nice to have passionate sensual sex. The point of difference makes the rougher sex more enjoyable we both have found.

 

[hungstoner80]

I came out as bisexual later in life. So for ma vast majority of my life I only dated women. When I came out as bisexual and tries to date both women and men I found almost all the women I went in dates with felt as you described like I was confused or that I couldn’t simply like both genders. One women I thought I was building a connection with asked me if I was a top or bottom. I said a top. She seemed to think that could be okay enough for her. I chose not to continue dating her as that seemed hurtful. I ended up dating a man and we’re still together. I still find it odd that gay men have no real issues with a bi guy but women do.