Male Bisexuality Acceptance

[bi2]

So, while my interest in men has always been there, it has in recent years escalated. Affairs with women seem like emotional cheating. But sex with a bloke is just getting off.

Thats exactly how my fuckbuddy is and feels. With another woman, it would be cheating in his eyes.

Fucking me is just about really him getting off. This is totally fine for me and us as neither one of us want any form of emotional relationship or entanglement, its purely just about physical carnal side. We both know where we stand and want and fortunarely the arrangement suits us both perfectly. He wants to fuck and I want to be fucked, so naturally our needs are met perfectly by the other.

My fuckbuddy also knows there is no way you can just have a casual sexual fuckbuddy relationship with a woman without the inevitable question of the woman wanting more or feeling used.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Thats exactly how my fuckbuddy is and feels. With another woman, it would be cheating in his eyes.

Fucking me is just about really him getting off. This is totally fine for me and us as neither one of us want any form of emotional relationship or entanglement, its purely just about physical carnal side. We both know where we stand and want and fortunarely the arrangement suits us both perfectly. He wants to fuck and I want to be fucked, so naturally our needs are met perfectly by the other.

My fuckbuddy also knows there is no way you can just have a casual sexual fuckbuddy relationship with a woman without the inevitable question of the woman wanting more or feeling used.

TBH though the bond formed between fukka and fukkee is still quite unique. There is an openness, trust and honesty. You open yourself up to cumplete insight into each others most private fantasy without hiding. I find it liberating to be that “naked” and unashamed in front of each other. To have my deepest most pervy thoughts totally accepted and to act them out. No judgement, no pretense, no homo…. There is a special bro-bond in that. But it isn’t a romance. No dates and flowers and anniversaries. The only question is beer before or after we fuck. What you see is what you get with dudes. We are not that complex.

 

[Itsallaboutthatbooty]

As a mostly straight dude who loves to date women and fuck guys occasionally, I’ve always found that the more relaxed you are about it, the more relaxed other people can be. If you don’t make a big secret or big deal about it, it often isn’t.

 

[Itsallaboutthatbooty]

TBH though the bond formed between fukka and fukkee is still quite unique. There is an openness, trust and honesty. You open yourself up to cumplete insight into each others most private fantasy without hiding. I find it liberating to be that “naked” and unashamed in front of each other. To have my deepest most pervy thoughts totally accepted and to act them out. No judgement, no pretense, no homo…. There is a special bro-bond in that. But it isn’t a romance. No dates and flowers and anniversaries. The only question is beer before or after we fuck. What you see is what you get with dudes. We are not that complex.

This.

 

[bi2]

TBH though the bond formed between fukka and fukkee is still quite unique. There is an openness, trust and honesty. You open yourself up to cumplete insight into each others most private fantasy without hiding. I find it liberating to be that “naked” and unashamed in front of each other. To have my deepest most pervy thoughts totally accepted and to act them out. No judgement, no pretense, no homo…. There is a special bro-bond in that. But it isn’t a romance. No dates and flowers and anniversaries. The only question is beer before or after we fuck. What you see is what you get with dudes. We are not that complex.

Most definitely. The comfort that we have today, took time to develop. Sure we completely take each other for granted now, but thats because we developed that trust and honesty as you mentioned. To get naked with new man and to feel so open and vulnerable was difficult for me, especially as he was initially just taking me from behind doggy style and fucking me, so I couldnt see or sense how he felt. Naturally as we became more comfortable with each other, we both could enjoy the sex a lot more.

 

[bi2]

As a mostly straight dude who loves to date women and fuck guys occasionally, I’ve always found that the more relaxed you are about it, the more relaxed other people can be. If you don’t make a big secret or big deal about it, it often isn’t.

So true, once we got comfortable and got into a rhythm, both with each other and the fucking, we enjoyed the sex so much more.

Youre right its not a big deal, its just two guys catching up and having an enjoyable time.

 

[daftman]

sounds like a non-preferable marriage, in a way... more later

 

[Lovetobetouched]

sounds like a non-preferable marriage, in a way... more later

Not sure if you’re talking to me - but yes. Not ideal

 

[daftman]

I am, yes. Does not sound like a fair deal at all. To be a fulfilling, yes, sweet relationship, BOTH parties need to be in, and accepting. This is such a huge subject, I have a hard time articulating. Let me start just a little. Were it me, with my wife, if there was no sex, no love, I would say, ok, I will get that elsewhere, but I am still with you. There HAS to be an emotional, physical and spiritual connect, two way. My wife is bi, I am bi. but we do not go outside - the relationship. I am a "bi virgin" -- just crazy to not be -- but we have to have the right deal. If not, that is ok. But for me, if there was no sex (that physical connect), no doubt I would wander. Never have, likely never will.

 

[daftman]

...but is just me, just us. And this has been going on for, well, since 1975. BUT, we are not old (!), just sexual humans! i can shoot some fun pics over on a a convo if you want.

 

[Itsallaboutthatbooty]

I think it just comes down to the conversation with your partner. I’m currently in a LTR with a woman, and I very openly discussed my sexual attraction to men when we started dating. She understands that I need that fix occasionally. It means nothing to our relationship because the sex means nothing. I’m probably very lucky in that respect. But as I said, the less of a big deal you make, the less of a big deal it is.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

I think it just comes down to the conversation with your partner. I’m currently in a LTR with a woman, and I very openly discussed my sexual attraction to men when we started dating. She understands that I need that fix occasionally. It means nothing to our relationship because the sex means nothing. I’m probably very lucky in that respect. But as I said, the less of a big deal you make, the less of a big deal it is.

May I ask in which age group you fit. I would guess that the older people are, the less that type of discussion happens… society didn’t really permit it until quite recently. My period of being a teenager emerging into sexuality during the height of the AIDS hysteria created a fear and homophobia that didn’t exist before, and thankfully doesn’t now. This is well before the Princess of Wales actually touched an AIDS patent, when all teh mystery and innuendo were rife. My GF suggested we go to a quiet cove for nude sunbathing - which was way more popular then - and i loved it - went back after we had finished and its become a lifelong love for me. But I remember my first wank with a bloke at that beach. i went home a scrubbed myself all over and went for an AIDS test (We didn’t have the HIV word then)…. I look back at how ignorant i was, and poor the available info was Before the internet. You actually had to go to their office and pick up pamphlets - and risk being recognised….

For those of us who had a breadth of sexual interest, we could pick and choose, and our hetero side was a LOT easier to pick - and then have the occasional dalliance on the side. Put it this way, I would live my life differently if i were young now. I’m 57 - and not dead yet - but there is a world of difference between then and now - in fact there is a whole new planet of humans - I remember then there were 3 point something billion humans on the planet - there are now double thaT number…… It is literally a new humanity of more than that number who have been born since and for whom my experience is ancient history.

I also remember a Parliamentary debate on decriminalising Homosexuality - My very conservative farmer uncle was all for it. He’d seen good blokes in the army treated badly for being homosexual. But after the AIDS thing, there was a hardening of attitudes from fear and ignorance unfortunately. I really believe my gen X was scared shitless of experimenting. We very nearly used condoms to touch a door knob, and certainly did not talk to our partners about open relationships And sexual fluidity. That was for the Hippies a generation earlier - and look where that got them. I remember the culture at that time was summed up by the SitCom “Family Ties” with Michael J Fox where the kids were more conservative than their parents - the Reagan era, when suits and ties came back into fashion. We were the very opposite of liberated and in touch with our sexuality.

 

[bi2]

I think it just comes down to the conversation with your partner. I’m currently in a LTR with a woman, and I very openly discussed my sexual attraction to men when we started dating. She understands that I need that fix occasionally. It means nothing to our relationship because the sex means nothing. I’m probably very lucky in that respect. But as I said, the less of a big deal you make, the less of a big deal it is.

I think thats why I enjoy MM sex so much, its all about enjoying yourself in that moment and doing whatever you want to please yourself and your fuckbuddy. I actually am glad I view MM sex has simple easy meaningless because it allows us to really have a lot of fun, without the emotional entanglement. If my fuckbuddy and I, had those feelings it would really complicate and ruin our sex. Thats not to say there has never been intimate/love making sex, its just that once the sex is over, we both go our seperate ways and only hookup when he is free to fuck next, which is usually in a months time.

 

[biguyinslo]

My marriage isn’t exactly sexless but must be pretty close to any definition of a severely mismatched sex drive. Always has been. After years of reading the books and my own counseling (she point blank refuses marriage counseling) I feel I’ve done all the things I’m meant to do. Consider her, listen to her, make her feel safe and wanted, show her body respect, take the lead from her for what she wants sexually….. but I have discovered what she wants is a platonic marriage with a housemate rather than a lover. So, while my interest in men has always been there, it has in recent years escalated. Affairs with women seem like emotional cheating. But sex with a bloke is just getting off. Odd I should say that because I do have developed some great friendships with men I play with. It certainly breaks the ice and you do form close brotherly bonds and trust when you share dick. But the relationship is far more transactional.
my problem now is that if my wife found out - it would all be about me “being gay”. And not about the true issue, the fact that she has used sex throughout our relationship to manipulate. While we do (still) have hot sex when she deigns to grant me some, she can go long periods without needing it. Occasionally after you oi much champagne she lets herself go, but the sun and moon and all the planets of the universe have to be in alignment and I have to have not said any one of a thousand careless triggers during the last week…..

The chances of any calm and honest discussion about my bisexuality without it turning to - blame on me - are about as likely as me getting two fucks this month.

Spot on man. I’m in the same situation. Love my wife and our family. Have no desire to leave, be with someone else, start a new family, etc. but damn the no sex or two times a month is driving me crazy. Been exploring with guys on the side because although it’s still technically cheating, I’d never “fall in love”. If it was a woman, I could see it happening. It’s just sex. Nice to see I’m not the only one in this situation. Good luck to you!

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Spot on man. I’m in the same situation. Love my wife and our family. Have no desire to leave, be with someone else, start a new family, etc. but damn the no sex or two times a month is driving me crazy. Been exploring with guys on the side because although it’s still technically cheating, I’d never “fall in love”. If it was a woman, I could see it happening. It’s just sex. Nice to see I’m not the only one in this situation. Good luck to you!

Totally agree. Don’t think we are the only ones in this situation.
When I first started playing with men (after giving it up when I met my wife - the love of my life) it was after a long period of repeated sexual rejection from her. I felt guilty for a day or so but stronger than the guilt was a sense of liberation. Of regaining a personal agency. I was a sexual being again of my own determination. I realized my wife had basically castrated me and now I was calling my own shots.
it’s not all great and it’s certainly not without risks.
a wank bud - who has become a very close friend - had the same. When the news broke he was doing men also his wife and the the whole community said - oh he is gay, always was and it’s not her fault. He was just in denial about his true gay self. He still da he’s women but says the sex is better and less complicated with men.
I find sex with men relaxing in that it’s more mutual and reciprocal pleasing each other and not feeling guilt taking pleasure. Very different with my wife. It’s like Oprah has told a whole generation of women to be greedy and let the man please you. It’s his responsibility. That is on some assumption that we are always up for it at a drop of a hat…. We are mostly - but that pressure to serve their sexual needs is ridiculous and one sided. Men are way more relaxed, more candid, more forgiving. More generous sexually.

 

[biguyinslo]

Totally agree. Don’t think we are the only ones in this situation.
When I first started playing with men (after giving it up when I met my wife - the love of my life) it was after a long period of repeated sexual rejection from her. I felt guilty for a day or so but stronger than the guilt was a sense of liberation. Of regaining a personal agency. I was a sexual being again of my own determination. I realized my wife had basically castrated me and now I was calling my own shots.
it’s not all great and it’s certainly not without risks.
a wank bud - who has become a very close friend - had the same. When the news broke he was doing men also his wife and the the whole community said - oh he is gay, always was and it’s not her fault. He was just in denial about his true gay self. He still da he’s women but says the sex is better and less complicated with men.
I find sex with men relaxing in that it’s more mutual and reciprocal pleasing each other and not feeling guilt taking pleasure. Very different with my wife. It’s like Oprah has told a whole generation of women to be greedy and let the man please you. It’s his responsibility. That is on some assumption that we are always up for it at a drop of a hat…. We are mostly - but that pressure to serve their sexual needs is ridiculous and one sided. Men are way more relaxed, more candid, more forgiving. More generous sexually.

I feel the same way. And agree on all your points. I have stopped pushing for sex with wife. If I get it it’s great. If she denys me, I get beyond sexually frustrated. I just need to find a steady bud to play with and I think things would be better. Here’s hoping!

 

[bi2]

I feel the same way. And agree on all your points. I have stopped pushing for sex with wife. If I get it it’s great. If she denys me, I get beyond sexually frustrated. I just need to find a steady bud to play with and I think things would be better. Here’s hoping!

I think thats why my fuckbuddy actually has a good relationship with his wife, despite her loss of sex drive.

Any sexual needs or frustrations are taken out, when we hook up. This ongoing mutually enjoyable steady relationship where we meet once a month, really suits us perfectly. Sure I would love for us to fuck weekly, but the long time between visits, helps to fuel the heat when we meet up. Speaking for both of us, we are definitely a lot happier and think much better after a good fuck.

 

[deleted18817831]

My marriage isn’t exactly sexless but must be pretty close to any definition of a severely mismatched sex drive. Always has been. After years of reading the books and my own counseling (she point blank refuses marriage counseling) I feel I’ve done all the things I’m meant to do. Consider her, listen to her, make her feel safe and wanted, show her body respect, take the lead from her for what she wants sexually….. but I have discovered what she wants is a platonic marriage with a housemate rather than a lover. So, while my interest in men has always been there, it has in recent years escalated. Affairs with women seem like emotional cheating. But sex with a bloke is just getting off. Odd I should say that because I do have developed some great friendships with men I play with. It certainly breaks the ice and you do form close brotherly bonds and trust when you share dick. But the relationship is far more transactional.
my problem now is that if my wife found out - it would all be about me “being gay”. And not about the true issue, the fact that she has used sex throughout our relationship to manipulate. While we do (still) have hot sex when she deigns to grant me some, she can go long periods without needing it. Occasionally after you oi much champagne she lets herself go, but the sun and moon and all the planets of the universe have to be in alignment and I have to have not said any one of a thousand careless triggers during the last week…..

The chances of any calm and honest discussion about my bisexuality without it turning to - blame on me - are about as likely as me getting two fucks this month.

I feel awful, buddy

 

[Lovetobetouched]

I realized something about my bisexuality when I visited my therapist just now. I love having sex with men because it is just so easily available and uncomplicated. If I had an affair with another woman that would almost certainly involve complexity - complexity which I just do not have bandwidth for at this point in my marriage. Going over my marriage with my counselor made me realize how fucked in the head I have become after 27 years of being rejected. How ashamed I have been of not being able to discuss the issue with her. How distressed I have become feeling there is no way forward for my marriage. Anyway. The Counselor has a plan to start that convo with my wife. She also said I would need to give up my sex with men or disclose it. But that if the conversation is structured right we may be able to get to a point where we recognize my wife and I have radically different sex drives, and in fact different visions of what marriage should be. Then there are a number of avenues to explore as alternatives. Well, at least it’s a plan and I had none an hour ago…. I made a booking for next session $$$ ka-Ching

anyway. She said that while I would have had an option of an affair with a woman as well…. But the MM sex has been way more convenient and discrete. Like it feels you are not cheating…. Yes.

 

[bi2]

I love having sex with men because it is just so easily available and uncomplicated.

My fuckbuddy and I have never had argument, disagreement or fight. We have been having a physical relationship since 2020. Thats not to say some boundaries have been crossed occasionally, but otherwise we have really good chemistry and understanding in regards to our sex. I think the reason is because we are both there for the sex only, its simplicity and easily accessible without any complications. He messages me a day and time, I agree, we meet, we fuck, I then usually leave afterwards. If I happen to sleep over, its so he/we can have sex again later that night and or in the morning. Neither one of us feels used and we both enjoy what the other gives us. I meet his needs and he definitely meets my needs.

He also spices our sex life up all the time, there are times where it can be rather depraved, degrading and humiliating and other times he can be very passionate, tender, sensual and almost love making in the way he treats and fucks me. While I have learnt to pick up small cues of what to expect before we might up, I like the uncertainty to the kind of sex we have.

Again in a perfect world, where time was no issue. I would enjoy depraved sex first, followed later by the intimate kind. Simply because when we meet up, we are both horny and ready to go immediately. When he "makes love" to me, its slower, longer and lot more relaxing. Its funny, as I would say this is the only "issue/problem" we have. lol.

I will say I think because he is bi and also very much in love with his wife, it makes my life a lot easier and happier because that emotional aspect he gets from her, much like how I get it from girlfriends. There is no jealousies or feelings of being used. We continue our physical relationship, because we have good sex together, which is private, discrete and stress and drama free.

My only small complaint, is that I only wish we could fuck a bit more regularly. Once a week would be awesome.

At least in my experience, I could never be able to engage in MF casual sex, where I could take the girl completely for granted and only worry about my needs being met and satisfied. With MF sex, the inevitable question of "where is this going?", " I am feeling like Im being used" and or not worrying about her emotionally is just never going to happen.