Straight Guy Crush

[Digiporn]

Looking for some advice. Thought this would be a good place to ask maybe?

I’ve got a crush on a straight guy, ands it’s been going on for a few months now. Realistically speaking, it’s going nowhere because he’s straight, obviously.

Crushes go away, but not this one. I keep thinking/feeling things for this dude, and it’s fucking annoying me to the point of depression...I kinda just wanna let him know that I act weird around him because I like him. But would that go over well?

We’re “friends”, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

 

[Youknowbro]

Hmmmmm, have you given him any compliments? Or said anything sexual jokey just to see how he takes it?

I've been in you situation before, it will go away, someone else will pop up or take your fancy, not saying you'll just go for anyone but I mean that because your not getting anything back. You may find yourself getting that attention else where. He'll still be there and you'll probably notice things like if your talking to someone else he might ask who are they just little hints that he's interested but if he doesn't give you anything or nothing sexually I would just leave it. Good luck

 

[Reg]

Telling your straight crush anything about your feelings for him will kill this relationship. He is probably clueless that you have these feelings and trust me if he is really straight he doesn’t want to know. Be prepared to lose his friendship.

 

[Hatt_101]

Looking for some advice. Thought this would be a good place to ask maybe?

I’ve got a crush on a straight guy, ands it’s been going on for a few months now. Realistically speaking, it’s going nowhere because he’s straight, obviously.

Crushes go away, but not this one. I keep thinking/feeling things for this dude, and it’s fucking annoying me to the point of depression...I kinda just wanna let him know that I act weird around him because I like him. But would that go over well?

We’re “friends”, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

You didn't really ask a question lool. But I feel like you already know they path you're gonna take. If you're truly friends then don't do anything to make it awkward or ruin the friendship you know he's not intersted in guys so there isn't anything else you can do. Like you said it will pass.

 

[cofrader]

First of all thank you for posting the first real question here in some time.

Your friend knows you are gay?

Since you are a man and he is straight and you are a friend no approach is expected from you. An approach would be regarded as a treason to his trust and you know the answer.

To heal you have to stop seen him.

If you have a clear clue that he is bi you might say that you are confusing yourself around him that you will see other people. At least that way you will let him know.

 

[thickcockjames]

Well, I've had that happen to me. A gay friend of mine told me he had a crush on me. I consider myself to be a decent, understanding kind of person, so I told him that I'm flattered and thankful, but not attracted to men. We are still friends, and he has told me that it did help him to let me know how he feels.

Now, if I were you, I'd say you should make sure you actually know this person and his acceptance of others. I've heard of gay men having his conversation with a straight friend to a poor ending.

Does he know you're gay?

 

[Galloper]

You can't know how he will react. Maybe you lose the friendship and feel worse than now

 

[Mark5134]

I have been in your exact position. My advice would be don’t tell him anything. There is a good chance it will destroy your friendship. Maybe try distancing yourself from him for awhile and try and focus on his floors for a little while.

 

[Digiporn]

Thank you guys for all the insights. It’s definitely thought to be friends with someone when you keep thinking about them in a more sexual way.

we are friends, he knows I’m gay, we are just not that close. He’s definitely made gay references directed at me on a couple occasions (which I just take as him being funny/straight). Mix signals I think.

I also vaguely told him, why I was a bit distant from him lately (I did not tell him it was him making me feel like shit.) Just that I was going through a tough time.

I’m probably never gonna tell him obviously, but I wanted to know if any straight guys have ever been told something similar (if they have a gay friend).

 

[Digiporn]

Well this is still happening.... almost a year later

I ended up telling him during a drunken night out that I had a crush on him, he wasn’t bothered by it. I on the other hand was super embarrassed about it and couldn’t speak to him for like a week.

long story short: I felt so embarrassed I did the most infantile thing and unfollowed him on ig (for my own sake and keep my mind off him). He in returned unliked my photos WTF?

There’s obviously other things he’s done, comments made and instances that have happened that make me question him sometimes and my own sanity most times.

 

[cofrader]

Well this is still happening.... almost a year later

I ended up telling him during a drunken night out that I had a crush on him, he wasn’t bothered by it. I on the other hand was super embarrassed about it and couldn’t speak to him for like a week.

long story short: I felt so embarrassed I did the most infantile thing and unfollowed him on ig (for my own sake and keep my mind off him). He in returned unliked my photos WTF?

There’s obviously other things he’s done, comments made and instances that have happened that make me question him sometimes and my own sanity most times.

Blocking someone can have that effect.
Move on, find someone really special.

 

[Crowe]

Honestly, either you suck it up or tell him the truth.
If you're going to tell him, there's two things that can happen, he's going to be your friend still and will help you get over it.
Or you lose the friendship, if this is the case he probably wasn't the best of friends anyway.

In my group of friends, there have been many cases where someone liked the other (mostly straight though) but they still stayed friends. Personally I don't think gender matters in this kind of situation, but here being gay is much more accepted than where you live, probably.

 

[Digiporn]

Honestly, either you suck it up or tell him the truth.
If you're going to tell him, there's two things that can happen, he's going to be your friend still and will help you get over it.
Or you lose the friendship, if this is the case he probably wasn't the best of friends anyway.

In my group of friends, there have been many cases where someone liked the other (mostly straight though) but they still stayed friends. Personally I don't think gender matters in this kind of situation, but here being gay is much more accepted than where you live, probably.

well he knows now. We’re still “friends” he was/is fine with it. I’m not fine with it lol I just feel embarrassed around him now

 

[sd425]

I had a gay friend who had a crush on me and would get frustrated that I didn't reciprocate his feelings. He'd get angry and lash out at me for what I thought were benign reasons. At other times, he'd get clingy, which I found annoying. He didn't tell me at the time how he felt, but it wasn't hard to guess. Eventually we drifted apart, and my friend finally fessed up to his complicated feelings for me but told a mutual friend that he blames me for sending mixed signals (which I don't remember sending).

What could I have done to make this situation better? (That's not a rhetorical question.)

 

[deleted1150537]

Hi, I’ve been dealing with exactly the same thing for months if not a year, I don’t see him that much right now, I really appreciate what everybody have written.

 

[cofrader]

well he knows now. We’re still “friends” he was/is fine with it. I’m not fine with it lol I just feel embarrassed around him now

At least you know and your are free to move on.
About the mixed signals I was thinking that many expressions / jokes I used to with my friends from high school had gay interpretations I don’t know why.
Never used those expressions with a gay guy, my close friend were all straight.

 

[Digiporn]

The thing is I haven’t.... just the other day he asked to video chat him, and then asked me to smoke with him.... why? He knows I like him.

 

[cofrader]

The thing is I haven’t.... just the other day he asked to video chat him, and then asked me to smoke with him.... why? He knows I like him.

Perhaps he thinks the thing is settled and continues to treat you like a buddy.
I don’t know how to do it on a pandemia but open your social circle at least virtually, and try to decode what do you love of him to recognize it on a gay men who can correspond your love.

 

[MIKEMIKE660]

Looking for some advice. Thought this would be a good place to ask maybe?

I’ve got a crush on a straight guy, ands it’s been going on for a few months now. Realistically speaking, it’s going nowhere because he’s straight, obviously.

Crushes go away, but not this one. I keep thinking/feeling things for this dude, and it’s fucking annoying me to the point of depression...I kinda just wanna let him know that I act weird around him because I like him. But would that go over well?

We’re “friends”, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

Holding this is really have a severe impact on you so just tell him. Its no big deal at all. If a gay guy told me I am good looking id take it as a compliment. It starts and ends there. I just wouldnt go into details how you feel or you could make the relationship weird

 

[MIKEMIKE660]

I am not trying to be a dick I just want to be very blunt. You are acting like a little teenage immature girl. Dude move on. You are way over thinking this. Just be friends with him or dont. He isnt gay you are end of story