Well. I don't often read threads all the way through but this has been quite enlightening.
Couple of notes on terms; a
kink is a consensual non-traditional sexual, or indeed sensual, experience.
Fetishes are more specific, an interest that a person has with a thing being present or enacted for gratification or release to take place.
What really unites these practices is the way in which they are viewed with suspicion by "straight" society. It's not quite as bad as if you are gay but traditional views of male/female roles, marriage and sex preclude many practices - like swinging, piss play or rubber or humiliation - and wider society often looks on these and other practices with derision and some have been classified as mental illnesses within living memory.
There is consequently a certain amount of stigma and shame that can result from feeling alone and freaky, so I take my hat off to all you kinky funsters for sharing so candidly.
Interesting article exploring some of these themes:
Growing Up Kinky: Research Shows How Kink Identity Is Formed
My thruppence-worth: I'm
not kinky. Quite boringly so. Apart from shagging lads and lasses in abundance there's nothing particularly interesting to say about it. The missus is far more kinky. However, I am fascinated by human sexuality and psychology in general and fetishes in particular. I like to know where they came from, how they evolve...
I'm a firm believer that you get to know a person quickly and well through sex. I have met a lot of people in my "career", entertained many interesting and unusual practices and a wide variety of requests. Not all but certainly most. I have red lines. But I like variety and novelty, and I'm always curious to know what makes people tick.
So I started seeking out people's fetishes and fantasies a went through a period of helping people achieve them - all kinds of things. I was the fantasy, I made it happen... In retrospect, maybe
that was my kink.