Why do older men become bi-curious

[SlamminSammy]

I've definitely become bicurious as I've gotten older since my 30s & I want to try sucking a big cock at least once if anyone here wants to help me.

 

[latinbriefs]

I have two straight buddies that I've played with regularly that would probably fit somewhere on the bi spectrum, but they are both outwardly gay men and as far as I know, neither of them are interested in romantic relationships with other men. I think in both cases, they were unsatisfied in their sex lives. One of my buddies is close to being in his 40s now, but he likes getting head from other men, as well as being rimmed. I would hazard to guess that the women he's been with don't like giving oral sex and/or he's never brought up wanting to be rimmed to them.

The other is a former coworker that is the same age as me (30) that I started regularly giving head to. He was very curious about sex with other men since as far as I know, I was the first guy messed around with and he's told me before that he's wanted to get fucked, as well. Unfortunately due to factors like covid, it was really difficult for us to actually find places to hookup.

My perception is that it's more complicated for men to seek out casual sex from women due to different factors (risk of unwanted pregnancy, etc). Another thing I would add is that both of my straight friends are Latino men and I still believe it is very much taboo to be an out, especially for men. So there is still always the risk of being ostracized from friends and family. I think it is changing a little bit hopefully, but a lot of older Catholic Latinos are still very much close-minded.

 

[latinbriefs]

I have two straight buddies that I've played with regularly that would probably fit somewhere on the bi spectrum, but they are both outwardly gay men and as far as I know, neither of them are interested in romantic relationships with other men.

Ugh, clearly I did not proofread my post before submitting it, but I meant to say that both of my buddies that I've messed around with are straight men.

 

[deleted15291411]

It didn’t take 40 years for me to become bicurious, it took 40 years for me to admit it.

 

[deleted10629731]

It didn’t take 40 years for me to become bicurious, it took 40 years for me to admit it.

There is a lot of truth in this. I have always known, but never wanted to admit it to myself. I grew up in a time where anything deemed even the slightest bit non-straight would have led to complete social isolation, repression and in some cases persecution. I have always been attracted to women and men, but decided at an early age that it would be easier to indulge the side of me that likes women rather than the side of me that likes men.
As I’ve gotten older, and times have changed, it is no longer taboo to admit any same-sex attraction. Boredom in the bedroom, and a wife with absolutely zero sex drive and interest in sex has made my attraction to men even stronger. I can’t say that I only like men because last night I had a very vivid dream about having sex with a woman. Other nights I’ve had vivid dreams about having sex with men. I don’t label myself. One thing I have figured out as I’ve gotten older is that I am attracted to personalities more than gender.

 

[bi2]

Male bi sexual encounters leave nothing to guess about. You know from the get go what you both are there for.

This is probably the most important and crucial point on here.

Sure while the first time with a new partner, there may be some confusion or time to understand the others roles etc, every single time that has followed there has never been any confusion or misunderstanding about why we are meeting up.

Sex is a given and its expected, there is no issues about consent, foreplay, small talk etc etc. It just happens its enjoyable and its what we both want, that physical pleasure and release. We finish up and go about our lives. No games are played, I never have wanted to felt the need to receive a phone call or text if I am ok afterwards etc etc. With men, sex is about the pleasure we both have and enjoy during that moment.

You can never get way with that with a woman on a consistent basis.

 

[latinbriefs]

Now what I really want to know is why some gay or bisexual men like str8 guys in particular!!!

I think the answer to that is simple. For gay men, it is likely that 99% of our first realization of being attracted to other boys/men is very likely to be a straight guy. For most of us, it just simply wasn't an option to be out growing up for fear of bullying, violence, what have you, so our first crushes or love will inevitably end up being someone who is unattainable. I know for myself, I had severe self-esteem and confidence issues so the idea of being out in middle or high school was impossible.

Some of it is pure porn fantasy: that a gay man thinks that he is either attractive enough or has something special that would magically cause a straight man to want to have sex or fall back in love with them. In the same way that straight men like watching lesbian porn or fantasize about being the one man that a lesbian would want to have sex with, straight men could be considered a "forbidden fruit".

 

[bi2]

I think the answer to that is simple. For gay men, it is likely that 99% of our first realization of being attracted to other boys/men is very likely to be a straight guy. For most of us, it just simply wasn't an option to be out growing up for fear of bullying, violence, what have you, so our first crushes or love will inevitably end up being someone who is unattainable. I know for myself, I had severe self-esteem and confidence issues so the idea of being out in middle or high school was impossible.

Some of it is pure porn fantasy: that a gay man thinks that he is either attractive enough or has something special that would magically cause a straight man to want to have sex or fall back in love with them. In the same way that straight men like watching lesbian porn or fantasize about being the one man that a lesbian would want to have sex with, straight men could be considered a "forbidden fruit".

Its complete double standards that female bisexuality is accepted, celebrated and not critisized, in many cases guys will even be more excited by this.

However, if a guy tells a woman she is bisexual, its likely to end the relationship or end it before it even begins, in most cases.

If a guys bisexuality was considered on the same level of acceptance as a womans, a lot more men would be open about it in public.

Of course there is exceptions, however this is how it is for the overwhelming majority.

 

[LVCB77]

As a forty plus year old man, I can remember a lifetime of gay/bi urges and fantasies, but they were fleeting and infrequent. My entire adult life was spent in hetero relationships and I never felt deprived or that I was surpressing anything, but the gay urges would occasionally surface from time to time. It was never to the point where I felt I had to act on them in real life.

Cut to now, these urges and fantasies dominate my libido most of the time. With the internet and porn access, I started with hetero porn but then it evolved to trans porn, solo/nude male stuff, to eventually, hardcore gay porn. I think my sex life having dried up from being in a monogamous relationship with a woman for many years, and never straying, exacerbated my perversions, and I just increasingly started getting off on taboo and mysterious things like sex with another man. Not only do my gay fantasies get more vivid and frequent as I get older, I increasingly ponder ways I can act on them in real life. When I was young, I would only glance and fantasize about women out in public but now I find myself glancing at men with equal intensity. And just now I started posting and interacting on sites like this that let me indulge in this side of me.

 

[bigboaster]

I think the answer to that is simple. For gay men, it is likely that 99% of our first realization of being attracted to other boys/men is very likely to be a straight guy. For most of us, it just simply wasn't an option to be out growing up for fear of bullying, violence, what have you, so our first crushes or love will inevitably end up being someone who is unattainable. I know for myself, I had severe self-esteem and confidence issues so the idea of being out in middle or high school was impossible.

Some of it is pure porn fantasy: that a gay man thinks that he is either attractive enough or has something special that would magically cause a straight man to want to have sex or fall back in love with them. In the same way that straight men like watching lesbian porn or fantasize about being the one man that a lesbian would want to have sex with, straight men could be considered a "forbidden fruit".

Agreed somewhat. But gay men obsession is much more pervasive and isn't even comparable to the way straight men view lesbians tbh. I think straight men are more interested in bi girls since they could actually have a chance. And straight men don't care if the women in lesbian porn are actually gay or not. Lol

 

[Anime2]

Its complete double standards that female bisexuality is accepted, celebrated and not critisized, in many cases guys will even be more excited by this.

However, if a guy tells a woman she is bisexual, its likely to end the relationship or end it before it even begins, in most cases.

If a guys bisexuality was considered on the same level of acceptance as a womans, a lot more men would be open about it in public.

Of course there is exceptions, however this is how it is for the overwhelming majority.

I couldn’t agree more with you. I’ve actually experienced this first hand at my job where my colleagues women I might add and one guy believe if a guy is bisexual then he’s actually gay and for women because they’re female it’s not the same they’re just experimenting

This is why men stay in the closest male sexuality is constantly being policed even now in 2022. What I’ve experienced is the homophobia is more passive aggressive and when said people are around like minded people how they really feel comes out.

 

[throbb]

I think the answer to that is simple. For gay men, it is likely that 99% of our first realization of being attracted to other boys/men is very likely to be a straight guy. For most of us, it just simply wasn't an option to be out growing up for fear of bullying, violence, what have you, so our first crushes or love will inevitably end up being someone who is unattainable. I know for myself, I had severe self-esteem and confidence issues so the idea of being out in middle or high school was impossible.

Some of it is pure porn fantasy: that a gay man thinks that he is either attractive enough or has something special that would magically cause a straight man to want to have sex or fall back in love with them. In the same way that straight men like watching lesbian porn or fantasize about being the one man that a lesbian would want to have sex with, straight men could be considered a "forbidden fruit".

Incredibly insightful and articulate. Thank you.

(This str8 man thinks gay men are way hotter than straight ones, maybe because of this drive to pursue the unattainable and maybe because they embrace a side of their sexuality str8 men cannot. Ironic. No one is ever confident enough or satisfied enough.)

 

[bi2]

This is why men stay in the closest

My very first partner viewed himself as 100% straight, which I respected and accepted as his choice. He was seperated from his wife and still had hopes of getting back with her and I could tell that if he told he had been with me it probably would have ended any chances completely.

I loved and enjoyed our sex life, although a lot younger than him and inexperienced, I enjoyed the role playing as he liked to feminize me to remove his guilt of being with a male.

 

[brandon38]

I have two straight buddies that I've played with regularly that would probably fit somewhere on the bi spectrum, but they are both outwardly gay men and as far as I know, neither of them are interested in romantic relationships with other men. I think in both cases, they were unsatisfied in their sex lives. One of my buddies is close to being in his 40s now, but he likes getting head from other men, as well as being rimmed. I would hazard to guess that the women he's been with don't like giving oral sex and/or he's never brought up wanting to be rimmed to them.

The other is a former coworker that is the same age as me (30) that I started regularly giving head to. He was very curious about sex with other men since as far as I know, I was the first guy messed around with and he's told me before that he's wanted to get fucked, as well. Unfortunately due to factors like covid, it was really difficult for us to actually find places to hookup.

My perception is that it's more complicated for men to seek out casual sex from women due to different factors (risk of unwanted pregnancy, etc). Another thing I would add is that both of my straight friends are Latino men and I still believe it is very much taboo to be an out, especially for men. So there is still always the risk of being ostracized from friends and family. I think it is changing a little bit hopefully, but a lot of older Catholic Latinos are still very much close-minded.

You so right man can be scared of be there self it sad glad your there for your buddy’s.

 

[bijockfl]

As a forty plus year old man, I can remember a lifetime of gay/bi urges and fantasies, but they were fleeting and infrequent. My entire adult life was spent in hetero relationships and I never felt deprived or that I was surpressing anything, but the gay urges would occasionally surface from time to time. It was never to the point where I felt I had to act on them in real life.

Cut to now, these urges and fantasies dominate my libido most of the time. With the internet and porn access, I started with hetero porn but then it evolved to trans porn, solo/nude male stuff, to eventually, hardcore gay porn. I think my sex life having dried up from being in a monogamous relationship with a woman for many years, and never straying, exacerbated my perversions, and I just increasingly started getting off on taboo and mysterious things like sex with another man. Not only do my gay fantasies get more vivid and frequent as I get older, I increasingly ponder ways I can act on them in real life. When I was young, I would only glance and fantasize about women out in public but now I find myself glancing at men with equal intensity. And just now I started posting and interacting on sites like this that let me indulge in this side of me.

@LVCB77

Enjoy and if you want to indulge let me know

 

[Iwanthead]

I for one still want my cock to be desired by someone. When my gf lost interest, and a guy showed interest and all he wanted was to suck my cock and swallow my loads, I was all for it.
I found it to be a better situation than my own hands taking care of my cock.
The feeling the sounds and knowing the person sucking my cock wants my cock in their mouth/throat and they are trying to get me to cum. I cum buckets from a hungry oral service provider.

 

[merc41]

I for one still want my cock to be desired by someone. When my gf lost interest, and a guy showed interest and all he wanted was to suck my cock and swallow my loads, I was all for it.
I found it to be a better situation than my own hands taking care of my cock.
The feeling the sounds and knowing the person sucking my cock wants my cock in their mouth/throat and they are trying to get me to cum. I cum buckets from a hungry oral service provider.

Amen enthusiasm is great

 

[Marriedinkansas]

I am a Mid-fifties mwm and, over the last few years, I have become more and more bi-curious. In email exchanges with other men around my age, I have found that well over half of them are experiencing the same thing Is this a common phenomenon.

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the forbidden fruit. That being a tasty Cock.

Happened that way to me also

 

[Marriedinkansas]

Because the wives no longer want sex!!

I can relate to that

 

[Lancshunk]

Because at a certain age you stop giving a fuck about what people think. I beleive everyone is somewhat bi, but most wont even admit it to themselves until mid 30s