Why Would An Asexual Person Be On This Website?

[HornyUnicorn]

I love this forum. Im demisexual

 

[shanhox]

asexual people on sex websites seems odd... why?

Well for me- more than one traumatizing sexual incident keep me away from men. When I do get near, I am very skittish and will duck out of their lives Quickly. I am also on the Autism spectrum.
I started getting crushed on males around 5 years old. I could go into a room of people. I would immediately identify the most attractive men in the room.
I wouldn’t approach them, but I would keep an eye out for them and watch them while pretending not to notice them.
I once was going to use a pay phone and found the scent of men’s cologne so good. I made for than one call just so I could keep smelling the cologne.
I don’t know why I decided to be on here. I am interested in chatting with people about a variety of topics. I am
Intrigued by the idea of sex.
I am scared of people and this is a way of communicating without it being too much stress. Lots of open minded people.
Which means less judgement of me. Seeing different bodies and personalities. Getting used to the human body.
The only time I am unclothed is when I taken a shower or bath. I even wear a bra to bed.
I was thrown for a loop last year when I met a man I felt attracted to. My body felt an attraction as well. It has been two decades since my body signaled it was attracted to a man. I rarely haveveven been attracted to anybody in 20 years.
He was first nice to me and then despised me. Made me the butt of jokes to his pals. He made sure I suffered a emotional trauma just for fun.
I. Don’t know. But these are reason- I think.

 

[Uknowuloveme]

asexual people on sex websites seems odd... why?

I dunno I thought it was people who cant be coerced or seduced with sexual touching and will have to like the person they sleep with.

 

[NickPet]

I actually agree and relate with many comments above.
It should be clearified that asexuality is still a sexuality. Sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction but also includes sexual or social behaviour and self-determination especially around other people. Romantic feelings and aesthetic attraction towards the human body is still very much there for most asexual people. There is a relatively small amount of people who are both asexual and aromantic and haven't felt the need for any form of close human contact.
One way to describe it for me is, when i walk down the street, i dont fantasize about people i walk by, and I instantly and passively friendzone every new person i meet. I have felt romantic attraction to a woman twice before and i've felt aesthetic attraction with guys. But, i'd say that overall the idea of me having sex with someone else is a bit repulsive mainly because i cannot picture them, to have feelings towards first. So, asexuality for me is not like being a wet match, but rather a match that needs a specific type of friction to flare up.
That being said, i appreciate the stories/conditions/anatomical variations forums(and i've learnt a lot) and thus i joined and if i get some cute guy/girl eye candy action here and there thats another small victory for me.

 

[Bobby_4565]

I actually agree and relate with many comments above.
It should be clearified that asexuality is still a sexuality. Sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction but also includes sexual or social behaviour and self-determination especially around other people. Romantic feelings and aesthetic attraction towards the human body is still very much there for most asexual people. There is a relatively small amount of people who are both asexual and aromantic and haven't felt the need for any form of close human contact.
One way to describe it for me is, when i walk down the street, i dont fantasize about people i walk by, and I instantly and passively friendzone every new person i meet. I have felt romantic attraction to a woman twice before and i've felt aesthetic attraction with guys. But, i'd say that overall the idea of me having sex with someone else is a bit repulsive mainly because i cannot picture them, to have feelings towards first. So, asexuality for me is not like being a wet match, but rather a match that needs a specific type of friction to flare up.
That being said, i appreciate the stories/conditions/anatomical variations forums(and i've learnt a lot) and thus i joined and if i get some cute guy/girl eye candy action here and there thats another small victory for me.

Love this!

 

[huntervey23]

asexual people on sex websites seems odd... why?

This is a sex website, I thought it was a support group?

 

[playklax01]

I actually agree and relate with many comments above.
It should be clearified that asexuality is still a sexuality. Sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction but also includes sexual or social behaviour and self-determination especially around other people. Romantic feelings and aesthetic attraction towards the human body is still very much there for most asexual people. There is a relatively small amount of people who are both asexual and aromantic and haven't felt the need for any form of close human contact.
One way to describe it for me is, when i walk down the street, i dont fantasize about people i walk by, and I instantly and passively friendzone every new person i meet. I have felt romantic attraction to a woman twice before and i've felt aesthetic attraction with guys. But, i'd say that overall the idea of me having sex with someone else is a bit repulsive mainly because i cannot picture them, to have feelings towards first. So, asexuality for me is not like being a wet match, but rather a match that needs a specific type of friction to flare up.
That being said, i appreciate the stories/conditions/anatomical variations forums(and i've learnt a lot) and thus i joined and if i get some cute guy/girl eye candy action here and there thats another small victory for me.

I'm Demi/Ace (in between those) and I totally understand and agree with what NickPet is saying. I instantly friendzone everyone, don't have strong sexual feelings towards people in public or on TV. Sure, I can tell if someone is handsome or good looking. Do I want to have sex with them? NO!

However though, every once in a while (i.e. one a year or so maybe), someone will come along that breaks through all these walls I put up, all in a second. I DO want to have sex with them, I DO feel romantic feeling towards them. It's such an overwhelming experience. Alas, it's usually towards someone I cannot have (married, straight, etc). I've read that lots of demi or Ace people experience that rare moment of attraction, I don't know if all do.

But back to this site, I just started getting more involved with it. I like to flirt and post naughty pictures, seems a lot of you guys do too. I like the forum questions and reading the erotic stories. Just because I'm not seeking sex doesn't mean I don't like to read or view sexual things. In fact, I spend a lot of my day doing just that and enjoy it just fine. We're still just human, ya know.

 

[nhguy78]

I'm Demi/Ace (in between those) and I totally understand and agree with what NickPet is saying. I instantly friendzone everyone, don't have strong sexual feelings towards people in public or on TV. Sure, I can tell if someone is handsome or good looking. Do I want to have sex with them? NO!

However though, every once in a while (i.e. one a year or so maybe), someone will come along that breaks through all these walls I put up, all in a second. I DO want to have sex with them, I DO feel romantic feeling towards them. It's such an overwhelming experience. Alas, it's usually towards someone I cannot have (married, straight, etc). I've read that lots of demi or Ace people experience that rare moment of attraction, I don't know if all do.

But back to this site, I just started getting more involved with it. I like to flirt and post naughty pictures, seems a lot of you guys do too. I like the forum questions and reading the erotic stories. Just because I'm not seeking sex doesn't mean I don't like to read or view sexual things. In fact, I spend a lot of my day doing just that and enjoy it just fine. We're still just human, ya know.

I gotta enjoy my libido while i still got it. Why not share it if people are respectful about it?

 

[nhguy78]

I'm Demi/Ace (in between those) and I totally understand and agree with what NickPet is saying. I instantly friendzone everyone, don't have strong sexual feelings towards people in public or on TV. Sure, I can tell if someone is handsome or good looking. Do I want to have sex with them? NO!

However though, every once in a while (i.e. one a year or so maybe), someone will come along that breaks through all these walls I put up, all in a second. I DO want to have sex with them, I DO feel romantic feeling towards them. It's such an overwhelming experience. Alas, it's usually towards someone I cannot have (married, straight, etc). I've read that lots of demi or Ace people experience that rare moment of attraction, I don't know if all do.

But back to this site, I just started getting more involved with it. I like to flirt and post naughty pictures, seems a lot of you guys do too. I like the forum questions and reading the erotic stories. Just because I'm not seeking sex doesn't mean I don't like to read or view sexual things. In fact, I spend a lot of my day doing just that and enjoy it just fine. We're still just human, ya know.

I gotta enjoy my libido while i still got it. Why not share it if people are respectful about it?

 

[playklax01]

I gotta enjoy my libido while i still got it. Why not share it if people are respectful about it?

Because there is no real interest. Sex is important for most, but for us, it really isn't. Unless the right guy, with the right personality, and right connection comes along, then maybe. Demi guys need a connection with the person before engaging in sex, how strong depends on the person. Not that every connection will lead to sex, but it's a prerequisite. However, we can engage in casual sex if we want. We (demi/even some Aces) have all done it. We don't get the same amount out of it as typical people, but we can enjoy it some. But we typically require to know the person before engaging in meaningful sex.

 

[NickPet]

I met a person that i've seen before and was mildly attracted to, and we talked a bit today. I initiated the conversation, but they kept going with it. I felt a little bit of chemistry and it felt reciprocated (might just be me, but thats beyond the point). Throughout that conversation or any time ive seen that person before, i never thought about them or their body other than how good they looked at that moment, and today the only feelings i had, is that i wanted to spend more time with them. In my personal ace perspective and experience it simply looks like, a relationship has to go through with being friendly to platonic to then maybe partly or fully sexual, while for people who are not ace, it can cut straight to sexual or even go the other way around.

 

[playklax01]

I met a person that i've seen before and was mildly attracted to, and we talked a bit today. I initiated the conversation, but they kept going with it. I felt a little bit of chemistry and it felt reciprocated (might just be me, but thats beyond the point). Throughout that conversation or any time ive seen that person before, i never thought about them or their body other than how good they looked at that moment, and today the only feelings i had, is that i wanted to spend more time with them. In my personal ace perspective and experience it simply looks like, a relationship has to go through with being friendly to platonic to then maybe partly or fully sexual, while for people who are not ace, it can cut straight to sexual or even go the other way around.

Sounds like what tends to happen to me. Being Demi/Ace, this feels so familiar. I've been on dates in the past where the person shows up and I'm already thinking "No, not really a fit for me". But then the dinner goes on and we're talking, some things in common, and like a switch going on "Hey, I think this person is actually pretty hot". I see them in a whole new way. This is how my dating life goes. Instant no/friendzone (best you'd get from me is "Hmm, he's alright"), but after talking and making a connection, I may see things completely differently.

 

[Jensen4]

I love all the answers above, especially those of playklax01 and NickPet.
I personally don't like having sex, I find it pretty boring and disgusting, but I still have a high libido sometimes and jerk off often. I love the male body, I find fascinating the way it hardens, the way men give themselves pleasure, etc. I can't picture myself fucking someone but I have no problem imaging other people fucking other people. I get aroused seeing a male body and sharing that experience.
I don't know if it makes sense, I'm still trying to figure myself.

 

[playklax01]

I love all the answers above, especially those of playklax01 and NickPet.
I personally don't like having sex, I find it pretty boring and disgusting, but I still have a high libido sometimes and jerk off often. I love the male body, I find fascinating the way it hardens, the way men give themselves pleasure, etc. I can't picture myself fucking someone but I have no problem imaging other people fucking other people. I get aroused seeing a male body and sharing that experience.
I don't know if it makes sense, I'm still trying to figure myself.

Thanks! And I understand what you're saying here, it does make sense. While what I said above is all true, I also find sex boring and possibly disgusting. I'm very focused on cleanliness, so with my ex before it was always a point of contention that I insist on a shower before sex. It ruins the spontaneity, but I don't want to smell or taste anything unpleasant. Then I go through the motions of sex, we finish, but honestly I'm really just not into it.
Unlike you though, my libido is low. Due to stress/psychological stuff. But even when I was younger, and libido was a little higher, I was never one to get with many people. I used to think it was just my nature, but as I get older I realize it's more than that. But like you, I imagine scenarios all the time. I wouldn't do them in real life, but fantasizing about certain things can really get me going when I'm by myself. Imagination can be much more powerful than any porn I've seen.

 

[Jensen4]

Thanks! And I understand what you're saying here, it does make sense. While what I said above is all true, I also find sex boring and possibly disgusting. I'm very focused on cleanliness, so with my ex before it was always a point of contention that I insist on a shower before sex. It ruins the spontaneity, but I don't want to smell or taste anything unpleasant. Then I go through the motions of sex, we finish, but honestly I'm really just not into it.
Unlike you though, my libido is low. Due to stress/psychological stuff. But even when I was younger, and libido was a little higher, I was never one to get with many people. I used to think it was just my nature, but as I get older I realize it's more than that. But like you, I imagine scenarios all the time. I wouldn't do them in real life, but fantasizing about certain things can really get me going when I'm by myself. Imagination can be much more powerful than any porn I've seen.

Oh my God, yes! Totally agree.
I'm definitely into cleanliness too, I hate the smell or taste or the idea of those. I had sex in the past but I was just doing what I was supposed to be doing, and during the all thing I was thinking "my God, when will this end".
I actually have high libido in certain periods of the year, so there will moments in which my libido will be very very low and other moments in which will be very high. I can assure you that's not a very pleasant transition and it was really hard to understand it. I still have to learn how to deal with it without feeling like shit. I have days in which I'm horny 24/7 and all the other days being like "Ugh, here's another dick...".
And yeah, the confusing thing for me was that I imagine scenarios all the time, sometimes I even think about me doing some stuff, but if I shift into reality... nope, really nope. I mean, I have done those and I probably keep doing those, but it's a very different thing and definitely not exciting. It's like you said: I fantasize about things but wouldn't do them in real life.

PS: It feels sooooo good to talk about all of this with someone who understand it

 

[playklax01]

Oh my God, yes! Totally agree.
I'm definitely into cleanliness too, I hate the smell or taste or the idea of those. I had sex in the past but I was just doing what I was supposed to be doing, and during the all thing I was thinking "my God, when will this end".
I actually have high libido in certain periods of the year, so there will moments in which my libido will be very very low and other moments in which will be very high. I can assure you that's not a very pleasant transition and it was really hard to understand it. I still have to learn how to deal with it without feeling like shit. I have days in which I'm horny 24/7 and all the other days being like "Ugh, here's another dick...".
And yeah, the confusing thing for me was that I imagine scenarios all the time, sometimes I even think about me doing some stuff, but if I shift into reality... nope, really nope. I mean, I have done those and I probably keep doing those, but it's a very different thing and definitely not exciting. It's like you said: I fantasize about things but wouldn't do them in real life.

PS: It feels sooooo good to talk about all of this with someone who understand it

I think we are totally on the same page. Except for the libido part, I wish I could experience being horny 24/7. Never ever came close to reaching that.

For some people, the smell or taste enhances their pleasure, but I am so turned off by any smell or taste. If anything, I want to smell soap. Soap is fine. And as much I 'go through the motions' of sex, being clean helps relax me and allows me to enjoy it a tiny bit more.

"My god, when will this end" lol, I've said that same thing to myself many times! And I've been married and with the same guy for over 20 years, I'm now divorced. Talk about sex getting boring... It was the same thing time and time again. And since I'm not really into it anyway, trying anything new felt forced and artificial. I felt bad for him because of it all, I really did. We were compatible in most ways except sex. We're on good terms though now, and I hope he's happier. Sorry, getting off track here.

My scenarios too, I sometimes imagine myself in them even though I would never do them in real life. I guess that's why they call it a fantasy, but just not one I want to live out. To me it's simply the 'idea' of it, whatever/however that crazy idea may be, that gets me off.

 

[Jensen4]

I think we are totally on the same page. Except for the libido part, I wish I could experience being horny 24/7. Never ever came close to reaching that.

For some people, the smell or taste enhances their pleasure, but I am so turned off by any smell or taste. If anything, I want to smell soap. Soap is fine. And as much I 'go through the motions' of sex, being clean helps relax me and allows me to enjoy it a tiny bit more.

"My god, when will this end" lol, I've said that same thing to myself many times! And I've been married and with the same guy for over 20 years, I'm now divorced. Talk about sex getting boring... It was the same thing time and time again. And since I'm not really into it anyway, trying anything new felt forced and artificial. I felt bad for him because of it all, I really did. We were compatible in most ways except sex. We're on good terms though now, and I hope he's happier. Sorry, getting off track here.

My scenarios too, I sometimes imagine myself in them even though I would never do them in real life. I guess that's why they call it a fantasy, but just not one I want to live out. To me it's simply the 'idea' of it, whatever/however that crazy idea may be, that gets me off.

I think we are, I'm so happy! I don't recommend you to be horny 24/7, if you're like me you'll feel like shit when this period ends.

I am sooo turned off by any smell or taste too, but at the same time I'm used to fake that I love that (bad experiences in the past). Soap is amazing, it feels like everything is clean and I might even enjoy having sex if everything smells good.

Don't worry, if you need to talk about it there won't be any judging here. I'm just glad if you're okay.
But yeah, sex is like... the same thing over and over. I mean, I've seen your dick and we had sex, then what? What's new to experience? For example, I'm always curious to see other men naked. Not because I wanna have sex with them, I'm just curious. Sometimes I'm even curious to touch it. But after I did that... I'm already satisfied, what's new to feel? Why should I be interested in something else/something more?

"My scenarios too, I sometimes imagine myself in them even though I would never do them in real life. I guess that's why they call it a fantasy, but just not one I want to live out. To me it's simply the 'idea' of it, whatever/however that crazy idea may be, that gets me off." This. I feel represented by this.

Another thing that I do and that makes me questioning if I might be demi is that I sometimes use sex or anything related to sex to connect with people. I don't why, I just want a real deep connection with them and I think sex is the starting point. Those times I had sex, I was more opened with those guys after it, more cuddly, even though I wasn't before. And the more I talk with men, the more I'm aroused by them and fantasize about them. Like the more we talk, the more I'm excited. (Sorry )

 

[nhguy78]

I really appreciate reading the discussion here. Especially being on this website, I feel alien sometimes. I can confidently say that I am a sexual being not usually with others. I love the aesthetics of the human body and maybe even experiencing pleasure with another but only for that fact: pleasure and not attraction. It's amazing to me that people actually do things out of attraction.

 

[playklax01]

I think we are, I'm so happy! I don't recommend you to be horny 24/7, if you're like me you'll feel like shit when this period ends.

I am sooo turned off by any smell or taste too, but at the same time I'm used to fake that I love that (bad experiences in the past). Soap is amazing, it feels like everything is clean and I might even enjoy having sex if everything smells good.

Don't worry, if you need to talk about it there won't be any judging here. I'm just glad if you're okay.
But yeah, sex is like... the same thing over and over. I mean, I've seen your dick and we had sex, then what? What's new to experience? For example, I'm always curious to see other men naked. Not because I wanna have sex with them, I'm just curious. Sometimes I'm even curious to touch it. But after I did that... I'm already satisfied, what's new to feel? Why should I be interested in something else/something more?

"My scenarios too, I sometimes imagine myself in them even though I would never do them in real life. I guess that's why they call it a fantasy, but just not one I want to live out. To me it's simply the 'idea' of it, whatever/however that crazy idea may be, that gets me off." This. I feel represented by this.

Another thing that I do and that makes me questioning if I might be demi is that I sometimes use sex or anything related to sex to connect with people. I don't why, I just want a real deep connection with them and I think sex is the starting point. Those times I had sex, I was more opened with those guys after it, more cuddly, even though I wasn't before. And the more I talk with men, the more I'm aroused by them and fantasize about them. Like the more we talk, the more I'm excited. (Sorry )

I'd still like to experience being horny that long. I'm just typically never horny. And only very rarely (twice a year maybe?) something will come over me where I feel it and I like it, and have to do something about it before it disappears.

I've had to fake it too, even after they took a shower. I love soap too. Cleanliness is so important to me, and yes, I agree I may enjoy it more too if everything smelled good.

Yes, I want to see other men naked too. Not that I want to do anything with them, I just want to see it or maybe touch it. But I know what it does, and how it feels. Like you said earlier, it becomes boring.

I'm glad you can relate to my idea/fantasy process. It's truly what I feel and what I use when I'm by myself (or potentially with someone else).

I can see and understand what you mean with sex being the starting point, but personally I reserve sex for later. And it also depends on the definition of sex, is it strictly intercourse? Is oral sex, sex? I consider almost anything sexual to be sex. Handjobs, oral sex, all get bucketed into sex.

Don't apologize, what you described sounds like Demi hallmarks. The more you talk/connect with people, the more you may find them attractive or exciting. Happens to me all the time.

 

[Jensen4]

I'd still like to experience being horny that long. I'm just typically never horny. And only very rarely (twice a year maybe?) something will come over me where I feel it and I like it, and have to do something about it before it disappears.

I've had to fake it too, even after they took a shower. I love soap too. Cleanliness is so important to me, and yes, I agree I may enjoy it more too if everything smelled good.

Yes, I want to see other men naked too. Not that I want to do anything with them, I just want to see it or maybe touch it. But I know what it does, and how it feels. Like you said earlier, it becomes boring.

I'm glad you can relate to my idea/fantasy process. It's truly what I feel and what I use when I'm by myself (or potentially with someone else).

I can see and understand what you mean with sex being the starting point, but personally I reserve sex for later. And it also depends on the definition of sex, is it strictly intercourse? Is oral sex, sex? I consider almost anything sexual to be sex. Handjobs, oral sex, all get bucketed into sex.

Don't apologize, what you described sounds like Demi hallmarks. The more you talk/connect with people, the more you may find them attractive or exciting. Happens to me all the time.

I relate sooo much! And it feels so good, never talked with someone about this stuff that understands me so well.

Well that's the confusing part for me. Like you, I wanna reserve sex for later. I wanna know the other person, sex is just something more, kinda like it's another way "to know" the other person, just another information I know about them. At the same time, I feel like if I don't do it immediately then they'll lose interest in me. So my ace ass wanna reserve sex for later (except for the curiosity to see them naked), but the other part (personal trauma maybe?) have to do it immediately.

Btw I consider sex anything sexual too, so handjobs and oral sex is still sex for me. I mean, if we're naked and we touch each other is sex for me haha

Do you think I'm demi? Because I tried to do some research and all websites say that demi people need a strong emotional connection to their partner. And for example I don't have that with you. I mean I relate very very much to you but it's not a strong emotional connection. It's just that the more I talk to you and I understand you a little bit more, the more I'm interested in you and for example I find you profile picture more arousing. I don't know, for what I know about demisexuality it doesn't really fit into the description.

I apologised because maybe you don't want to be sexualized by a stranger haha.

Anyway, if you want we can keep talk in private, my dms are always open