Why Would An Asexual Person Be On This Website?

[playklax01]

I relate sooo much! And it feels so good, never talked with someone about this stuff that understands me so well.

Well that's the confusing part for me. Like you, I wanna reserve sex for later. I wanna know the other person, sex is just something more, kinda like it's another way "to know" the other person, just another information I know about them. At the same time, I feel like if I don't do it immediately then they'll lose interest in me. So my ace ass wanna reserve sex for later (except for the curiosity to see them naked), but the other part (personal trauma maybe?) have to do it immediately.

Btw I consider sex anything sexual too, so handjobs and oral sex is still sex for me. I mean, if we're naked and we touch each other is sex for me haha

Do you think I'm demi? Because I tried to do some research and all websites say that demi people need a strong emotional connection to their partner. And for example I don't have that with you. I mean I relate very very much to you but it's not a strong emotional connection. It's just that the more I talk to you and I understand you a little bit more, the more I'm interested in you and for example I find you profile picture more arousing. I don't know, for what I know about demisexuality it doesn't really fit into the description.

I apologised because maybe you don't want to be sexualized by a stranger haha.

Anyway, if you want we can keep talk in private, my dms are always open

I'm glad that I can totally relate and can help support you through this.

Ok, I see where you're coming from. People today are so into jumping into bed now, so I can see where you feel they will lose interest if you delay. And I can totally relate to the curiosity to see them naked. That's more exciting than the sex for me. Perhaps there was a time in your past where you were rejected a few times for not putting out, hence the personal trauma, but I can't speak to that part.

Yes! Anything sexual is sex. Finally I'm not the only one who agrees with that. So many people I know only consider intercourse sex. But I consider if you give blowjobs to 100 guys, are you still a virgin?

The official definition of demi is that "strong emotional connection". I feel that varies between people. I don't need a "strong" emotional connection. Just a connection in some sense. You can't be a stranger. We can't jump into bed after 5 minutes of meeting. With me, after talking to someone over dinner (maybe an hour), I can find that connection (if it's meant to happen). I need to get to know the person, understand them, know what they're about. It takes some time, but everyone is different. For me, usually it's the length of a typical dinner that I'll feel the connection or not, others it may take days or weeks. But even if I feel the connection, I'm not going to bed with them yet. 3rd date minimum is my rule. I have to know they like me emotionally and not just physically.

Haha, don't worry about that. I really don't mind being sexualized by strangers on here. It's part of the fun for me.

 

[Jensen4]

I'm glad that I can totally relate and can help support you through this.

Ok, I see where you're coming from. People today are so into jumping into bed now, so I can see where you feel they will lose interest if you delay. And I can totally relate to the curiosity to see them naked. That's more exciting than the sex for me. Perhaps there was a time in your past where you were rejected a few times for not putting out, hence the personal trauma, but I can't speak to that part.

Yes! Anything sexual is sex. Finally I'm not the only one who agrees with that. So many people I know only consider intercourse sex. But I consider if you give blowjobs to 100 guys, are you still a virgin?

The official definition of demi is that "strong emotional connection". I feel that varies between people. I don't need a "strong" emotional connection. Just a connection in some sense. You can't be a stranger. We can't jump into bed after 5 minutes of meeting. With me, after talking to someone over dinner (maybe an hour), I can find that connection (if it's meant to happen). I need to get to know the person, understand them, know what they're about. It takes some time, but everyone is different. For me, usually it's the length of a typical dinner that I'll feel the connection or not, others it may take days or weeks. But even if I feel the connection, I'm not going to bed with them yet. 3rd date minimum is my rule. I have to know they like me emotionally and not just physically.

Haha, don't worry about that. I really don't mind being sexualized by strangers on here. It's part of the fun for me.

Exactly! For me see them naked is way more exciting than sex. And yeah, probably that's where the trauma came from haha but I see that in the gay comunity is all about sex, so if you don't do it immediately you're called a loser or whatever. They shame you just because you wanna wait. I think that's why I didn't wait in the past.

I mean, it depends on the definition of "virgin". Do we mean the "put a dick in a back hole"/"take a dick in your back hole"? I think usually that's the common definition, but blowjobs are still called "oral SEX" so for me it's still sex haha

Gosh yes!! If I don't know that they like me emotionally I really don't see the point of doing sex. I prefer way more to just be naked together and talk than have meaningless sex just to empty our balls. I wanna know that they care about me, they're interested in me and not only physically. Totally agree on that. So are you demi?

I also agree on the subjective matter of the "strong emotional connection", but I still don't know if that works for me. I don't know, like I said I'm more into you the more we talk, but not like "I wanna fuck you so hard", you know? It's more of a "I wanna keep talking and knowing about you, and see more of you". Don't know, I really know so little about demisexuality.

Btw totally agree on the last part too haha It's really fun for me too

 

[Bobby_4565]

It’s like you guys understand me
I feel the same way.
like i have an indifference to sex. If i dont have a strong connection with the person…I can’t.

when i have done hookups…i feel super empty after. I want to know the person before we have sex. I also don’t have a burning desire to use others and often via sex that’s the goal…to get one’s rocks off…then I always feel discarded. Idk.

I keep it to myself cause all my friends center sex in such a way that…it’s all they talk about. I just look and nod but I can’t relate but to me sex is good but like not incredible like folks make it seem idk.

 

[Jensen4]

It’s like you guys understand me
I feel the same way.
like i have an indifference to sex. If i dont have a strong connection with the person…I can’t.

when i have done hookups…i feel super empty after. I want to know the person before we have sex. I also don’t have a burning desire to use others and often via sex that’s the goal…to get one’s rocks off…then I always feel discarded. Idk.

I keep it to myself cause all my friends center sex in such a way that…it’s all they talk about. I just look and nod but I can’t relate but to me sex is good but like not incredible like folks make it seem idk.

Totally the same! Every time I hookup with someone... I feel empty and like shit after. It's like... what was left in me after this? What did I gain? I feel empty so what was the point of it?

Same with my friends. They're all like "I wanna fuck this one sooo hard" etc and I'm like "yeah... did you read this book?". I feel like an alien with them, even on social media, so usually I keep things to myself. So glad I talk with someone who can relate so much

 

[Bobby_4565]

Yea it feel soooo isolating at times or I try to discuss stuff outside of sex. It’s like people just want to know: who are you dating and who are you fucking? That’s it. Likewise, they equate doing both to endless happiness.

 

[Jensen4]

Yea it feel soooo isolating at times or I try to discuss stuff outside of sex. It’s like people just want to know: who are you dating and who are you fucking? That’s it. Likewise, they equate doing both to endless happiness.

Exactly. I can talk about sex and related stuff (I even join this website to do it) but not 24/7 like my life depend on it

 

[playklax01]

Totally the same! Every time I hookup with someone... I feel empty and like shit after. It's like... what was left in me after this? What did I gain? I feel empty so what was the point of it?

Same with my friends. They're all like "I wanna fuck this one sooo hard" etc and I'm like "yeah... did you read this book?". I feel like an alien with them, even on social media, so usually I keep things to myself. So glad I talk with someone who can relate so much

"I wanna fuck this one sooo hard" etc and I'm like "yeah... did you read this book?" I found that really funny! LOL

Agree, hooking up and then the empty feeling, it's not worth it. I could have done what we did by myself, and I probably would have enjoyed it more.

 

[playklax01]

Topic on here in a different forum: What Is Your Record For The Most Sex Partners In One Night?

OMG...mine is one, and will probably always be one, if any. Like it's a competition or something. And of course there is no shortage of people responding to it. I just don't get the appeal. And more than one in a night? Personally, that sounds exhausting to me. Randos coming and going, wham-bam, hello/goodbye. As we all have said, sex without knowing the person/feeling emotion is pointless and hollow in our opinion.

But it does remind me of this one story I shared on a different forum here. I've always considered 'sex' to be anything sexual, but this was an exception (I think you'll agree). I'll just share it here and see what you think. It's something that happened once, and will likely never again.

"...one strange thing that happened to me back almost 20 years ago (and I swear to god this is 100% real!), I went with my BF to a friends place to hang out. There were maybe 12 of us there, I knew maybe half. At one point during the evening, the hosts turned off the lights and closed the blinds, it was pitch black. Then they started undoing everyone's pants/underwear and removed their shirts. Everyone was a good sport about it, and the hosts were a bit unusual, so it wasn't out of character for them. No one could see, complete darkness. But you could sense and you could feel, as some people (the hosts mostly) got a little bold (laying across some people, sitting naked leg to leg). Nothing sexual happened at all, no one touched anyone down there, or went too far, yet it felt like we were millimeters away from it turning into something more. But it was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced in my life. I had no idea this was going to happen, I don't know if anyone did."

It was decades ago, but I still think of it. Me being completely naked in a room of people, but no one could see anything. It was something else for sure.

 

[Jensen4]

"I wanna fuck this one sooo hard" etc and I'm like "yeah... did you read this book?" I found that really funny! LOL

Agree, hooking up and then the empty feeling, it's not worth it. I could have done what we did by myself, and I probably would have enjoyed it more.

I mean it's true haha I'd rather talk about books than talk over and over again about the people they wanna fuck.
[A couple of funny things off topic. I read adult books with porn etc and I'm more turned on by those and the fantasies I make while reading, than by the idea of me actually having sex. And if someone asks me to talk about books while naked, they already have my soul. That's how much I'm turned on by sex haha]

 

[Jensen4]

Topic on here in a different forum: What Is Your Record For The Most Sex Partners In One Night?

OMG...mine is one, and will probably always be one, if any. Like it's a competition or something. And of course there is no shortage of people responding to it. I just don't get the appeal. And more than one in a night? Personally, that sounds exhausting to me. Randos coming and going, wham-bam, hello/goodbye. As we all have said, sex without knowing the person/feeling emotion is pointless and hollow in our opinion.

But it does remind me of this one story I shared on a different forum here. I've always considered 'sex' to be anything sexual, but this was an exception (I think you'll agree). I'll just share it here and see what you think. It's something that happened once, and will likely never again.

"...one strange thing that happened to me back almost 20 years ago (and I swear to god this is 100% real!), I went with my BF to a friends place to hang out. There were maybe 12 of us there, I knew maybe half. At one point during the evening, the hosts turned off the lights and closed the blinds, it was pitch black. Then they started undoing everyone's pants/underwear and removed their shirts. Everyone was a good sport about it, and the hosts were a bit unusual, so it wasn't out of character for them. No one could see, complete darkness. But you could sense and you could feel, as some people (the hosts mostly) got a little bold (laying across some people, sitting naked leg to leg). Nothing sexual happened at all, no one touched anyone down there, or went too far, yet it felt like we were millimeters away from it turning into something more. But it was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced in my life. I had no idea this was going to happen, I don't know if anyone did."

It was decades ago, but I still think of it. Me being completely naked in a room of people, but no one could see anything. It was something else for sure.

Mine... I dunno, maybe 5? And I hate myself because I've done it so many times.
But the thing is that the society sees it as a competition, and it's a different competition for men and women. The more a man fuck, the more he's hot and manly and praise by others. The same thing happens about sizes. The more your dick is big, the more you're manly and "alpha" and respected. I personally don't agree with this, I think it's pretty stupid to praise a man for his genetic, like he'd had anything to do about it other than being conceived. Plus, I don't really give a fuck about sizes, I look at it in its entirety and other things people don't usually care about and the more I'm into someone the more I like his dick.

"And more than one in a night?" My first thought was: you don't even have time to clean yourself I could never do that.

Thanks for sharing that story. It's actually really exciting, probably because I'm more aroused about the teasing than the actual sex. I think that if that happened to me, I would immediately get a boner. Just being naked with other people without seeing them it's pretty erotic to me too

 

[NickPet]

It’s like you guys understand me
I feel the same way.
like i have an indifference to sex. If i dont have a strong connection with the person…I can’t.

when i have done hookups…i feel super empty after. I want to know the person before we have sex. I also don’t have a burning desire to use others and often via sex that’s the goal…to get one’s rocks off…then I always feel discarded. Idk.

I keep it to myself cause all my friends center sex in such a way that…it’s all they talk about. I just look and nod but I can’t relate but to me sex is good but like not incredible like folks make it seem idk.

You are not the black sheep in this. Its just that people are too afraid to go against the hookup culture themselves, which enables the average human sex drive to go primally rampant and the body count sport to grow glorious and evergreen. This goes beyond sexualities and libidos. This is another indication that people are just getting emotionally shallower and, frankly, dumber by the day. Yet, somehow asexuals find themselves apologising for bringing "less" to the table.

 

[deleted19076961]

hello. i like men. but i haven't had a physical interaction with a man, so far. i'm gay but i'm abstinent too.

 

[playklax01]

hello. i like men. but i haven't had a physical interaction with a man, so far. i'm gay but i'm abstinent too.

Nothing wrong with that at all. Were you just introducing yourself, or did you have any concerns/questions? We're an open and friendly group here.

 

[nhguy78]

You are not the black sheep in this. Its just that people are too afraid to go against the hookup culture themselves, which enables the average human sex drive to go primally rampant and the body count sport to grow glorious and evergreen. This goes beyond sexualities and libidos. This is another indication that people are just getting emotionally shallower and, frankly, dumber by the day. Yet, somehow asexuals find themselves apologising for bringing "less" to the table.

Yes. I love this thread.

 

[Bobby_4565]

This is hands down the nicest group on lpsg

 

[Scarletbegonia]

hello. i like men. but i haven't had a physical interaction with a man, so far. i'm gay but i'm abstinent too.

For others, being inexperienced, or temporarily not havin* sex is NOT asexuality.

think of it as the attraction spectrum, along with gay /bI /straight/ pan.

 

[Bobby_4565]

We need a telegram or a whatsapp lol so we can bond and connect yall

 

[somebody427]

Wow, these discussions are really interesting. Such a varied level of different reasons for being here for people who all seem to land in the same place sexually for different internal reasons.

I don't mind looking at the photos, not at all. It's not a physical attraction to the person in the photo, it's the visual representation of certain fantasies. And none of those fantasies involve physical intimacy with the people in the photos or videos, it's the thought of exhibitionism, voyeurism, fantasy growth, and imagining those sorts of things. I read a lot of stories on here and other sites. I wind up scrolling past the sex parts and reading most of the parts where it's descriptive and there's a lot of imagery to think about.

I mean... I'm horny as fuck a lot of the time, I have needs, I have kinks, I like sex... I just don't feel physically attracted to other people. There's nothing there inside me that says "ooh! Look at them! That's arousing! I want to have sex with this person!"

 

[LPSG Support]

We need a telegram or a whatsapp lol so we can bond and connect yall

You can also create a private group on here.

 

[playklax01]

Wow, these discussions are really interesting. Such a varied level of different reasons for being here for people who all seem to land in the same place sexually for different internal reasons.

I don't mind looking at the photos, not at all. It's not a physical attraction to the person in the photo, it's the visual representation of certain fantasies. And none of those fantasies involve physical intimacy with the people in the photos or videos, it's the thought of exhibitionism, voyeurism, fantasy growth, and imagining those sorts of things. I read a lot of stories on here and other sites. I wind up scrolling past the sex parts and reading most of the parts where it's descriptive and there's a lot of imagery to think about.

I mean... I'm horny as fuck a lot of the time, I have needs, I have kinks, I like sex... I just don't feel physically attracted to other people. There's nothing there inside me that says "ooh! Look at them! That's arousing! I want to have sex with this person!"

Photos and videos are fine, I like looking too. I don't get off directly to them mostly, but I build my own fantasy in my head from them. I'm always on the lookout for 'something new' in porn. Most of it tends to be the same traditional stuff I've seen for the last 30 years... But Japanese porn is usually where I find the 'something new'. They do a lot of crazy stuff that I don't even know if we're allowed to do here in porn lol.

Stories are awesome! Using your own imagination to picture these people and scenarios, it's much more powerful and erotic than watching it. Not to sound like a pig, but Nifty.org is a stop I make usually daily.

"I want to have sex with that person!". Nope, never enters my mind either. Sex has to mean something. I don't understand 'quickie' sex with a rando. You know how it starts, how it goes, and how it ends. It's like a book you've already read, but with the main character swapped out. In the end it's still the same story.