I'm Only Interested in Straight Men, Help

[Boaxy]

How do you even know they're straight?

They tell him. OP can take hints. He asks them out and the reaction/response is oppression worthy. etc.

 

[cutwrestler]

One of the things I find so attractive about straight men is that so many of them are not even aware they are attractive - they are totally authentic

 

[Rotterweiler]

One of the things I find so attractive about straight men is that so many of them are not even aware they are attractive - they are totally authentic

true, many are convinced they are ugly and instead they are very beautiful and sexy, but girls always belittle them.

 

[Bojangles78]

"Qualities MOST gay guys don't possess"... it's sad the limited view you guys have. You all seem to be working in stereotypes

you clearly live in a bubble, you either only hang out with gay guys or mostly straight. If you ever cross over to the other side frequently you'd realize that straight men and gay men in general act very different, interpret the world differently. You can argue on here all day long but your words have no weight on those who truly experience differences and pay attention to the world they live.

 

[Bojangles78]

One of the things I find so attractive about straight men is that so many of them are not even aware they are attractive - they are totally authentic

one of the subtle things about straight men that they are not even aware of is the confidence when going out into the world. It's a luxury few gay men get to have unfortunately.

 

[Dandinh]

As others have noted, meet gay men in more social situations rather than hookup apps. Maybe volunteer at an LGBT Center or go to events designed to find gay friends. The man I wound up marrying is a big, handsome guy I met in a setting that was specifically for finding friends, not sex. We got around to the sex, but it was friendship first.

And if it's behaviors that attract you--other than sexual aggression, as you saw from the apps--maybe adjust the kind of gay men you're connecting with. Perhaps go be a supporter of the nearest gay rugby team. As someone with lots of experience in gay rugby culture, I'll admit there are very stereotypical gay guys who play, but we also have some very masculine guys on the team, too. Perhaps that would be a better match for you?

Sorry if this is obvious, but where are you seeing events designed for making friends in the lgbt community? I’d be super happy to go to one but haven’t really seen anything advertised.

 

[nygayguy1]

Sorry if this is obvious, but where are you seeing events designed for making friends in the lgbt community? I’d be super happy to go to one but haven’t really seen anything advertised.

That's a fair question. When I met my husband, things were different (it's a few years ago) but there are a few places you can start that come to mind. As mentioned before, see if there's an LGBT Center in your area and find out what events they're having. Also, see about Pride events. Those can be a great way to meet people. And not just at Pride. See who has plans, and offer to help with preparing. That interaction can be great for meeting people.

Look online. Sites like meetup.com can help. Try searching for things like "gay friends." There are opportunities out there!

I don't know what's in your area, but around here, you can go to things like Gay Men's Chorus events. I can't sing to save my life, but I can be a supporter. Same for stuff like gay rugby. I don't play, but I've met lots of guys through being a supporter.

There are lots of opportunities. Just change your approach a little.

 

[Jake1973]

one of the subtle things about straight men that they are not even aware of is the confidence when going out into the world. It's a luxury few gay men get to have unfortunately.

Very true. It is kind of like being right handed. The world is engineered with you in mind so there are a lot of things you can take for granted.

It also explains how fragile some of them are when that gets challenged. If you are other-than-straight, other-than-white, or—I will say it—other than conventionally attractive, you develop coping skills that they never had to learn.