Are you tops annoyed when your bottom jerks himself off?

[Nomadic]

No. You have not bothered to study this in any detail. You do not have control over him. He gives you that power. And from that gift from your equal to you, he empowers YOU to rise up and be in that moment greater than. What he does takes just as much effort as what you do. None of your power exists without him. Try it alone and see. The next objective is to use your given authority not to be petty and take away his self pleasure because it offends you but to help him arrive at a place of security and comfort so he can let go more. This floods you with new pleasure and so on. You seem to want to stop at accepting his gift because you have odd ideas that self pleasure is self harm and that he is incompetent on his own but also because there is insecurity over your actual power. It's your cock getting soft.

Up until the last sentence, I thought you were taking about Dungeons & Dragons.

 

[bkmuscledad]

Up until the last sentence, I thought you were taking about Dungeons & Dragons.

I literally laughed out loud reading this.

 

[ConorJ]

I have never really thought a out whether I should or shouldn't ,but as a rule I generally don't touch it. I always start out rock hard, but once he is well established in me I tend to go limp. But I, and I think alot of tops, like the idea of the hands free cum/orgasm.

 

[pp_ryder]

Okay so I'm not sure if I'm alone in this but I usually tell my bottoms not to touch their cock when I fuck them. I'm not sure if this is simply mental or anything, but for me it's just a boner killer when they start masturbating themselves when I fuck them. It's not also this but usually guys who masturbate while they're getting fucked also cum quite quickly which is somewhat of a disappointment. Now, don't get me wrong, I do take care of the bottom's cock during sex but it's just that I prefer to be the one who stimulates his penis while working his ass instead of himself. Plus, I find it a waste for him to waste both his hands on his cock while he could use them for far better things.

I had a fuckbuddy who couldn't keep his hands off his penis when we first had sex so I had to tie his hands for our second time. He told me he enjoyed it far better and it was one of the best orgasms he had. For granted, he could've been bluffing, but it didn't seem like he faked it.

What do you guys think about his? I'm interested in hearing opinions from both bottoms and tops. I just hope I'm not the only dude around here who is somewhat annoyed by this.

If he's pleasuring himself, then 100% of his concentration and effort can't be going to you then, can it?

 

[Nudistpig]

Up until the last sentence, I thought you were taking about Dungeons & Dragons.

That was cute. I might as well be.

 

[Nudistpig]

When I'm getting fucked, I'm too busy playing with my nipples...

There's an app for that.

 

[Nudistpig]

If he's pleasuring himself, then 100% of his concentration and effort can't be going to you then, can it?

One, no one can give you 100%, the human body and our brains aren't made that way. But setting that aside, why is the goal for him to give you all of his attention? Is that the best sex possible? Can't his self pleasure also serve you or is the goal to deprive him full stop, or is there something coming from you that makes it worth his while? Rhetorical questions don't expect an answer.

Two things I've noticed being fucked and fucking (let's conservatively say in 30 years it's been 500 men, and a few dozen women). I enjoy seeing a man hard while I fuck him because I know he's hard because I am pleasuring him. If I want him in chastity, I put him in chastity, I don't expect his penis to excuse itself (most of us who bottom lots trained the cock this way so as not to come before the top because I have yet to meet a top who will fuck a man again who came and stopped).

Lack of attention to the bottom's orgasm (forplay, arousal ,erection) has caused both tops and bottoms issues. Tops actually respond to a limp dick by losing their erections in many cases. I've seen this result in embarrassment for the top, or aggressive bottom blaming (something they did was the reason he got limp). These dynamics were always present in the sex spaces and group play events I attended but it has gotten so bad in some cases I just don't go because I ain't watching that or experiencing it.

Oh and this is where the Dungeons and Dragons stuff comes from. Take it or leave it.

https://www.amazon.com/Leathermans-Handbook-25th-Anniversary/dp/156333559X

 

[pp_ryder]

One, no one can give you 100%, the human body and our brains aren't made that way. But setting that aside, why is the goal for him to give you all of his attention? Is that the best sex possible? Can't his self pleasure also serve you or is the goal to deprive him full stop, or is there something coming from you that makes it worth his while? Rhetorical questions don't expect an answer.

Two things I've noticed being fucked and fucking (let's conservatively say in 30 years it's been 500 men, and a few dozen women). I enjoy seeing a man hard while I fuck him because I know he's hard because I am pleasuring him. If I want him in chastity, I put him in chastity, I don't expect his penis to excuse itself (most of us who bottom lots trained the cock this way so as not to come before the top because I have yet to meet a top who will fuck a man again who came and stopped).

Lack of attention to the bottom's orgasm (forplay, arousal ,erection) has caused both tops and bottoms issues. Tops actually respond to a limp dick by losing their erections in many cases. I've seen this result in embarrassment for the top, or aggressive bottom blaming (something they did was the reason he got limp). These dynamics were always present in the sex spaces and group play events I attended but it has gotten so bad in some cases I just don't go because I ain't watching that or experiencing it.

Oh and this is where the Dungeons and Dragons stuff comes from. Take it or leave it.

https://www.amazon.com/Leathermans-Handbook-25th-Anniversary/dp/156333559X

Angry, much?

 

[hairybubblebum]

for me if I start jerking myself off then your not putting it down good

 

[Lord_of_Goon]

If he's pleasuring himself, then 100% of his concentration and effort can't be going to you then, can it?

Yea. But if I’m imaging a long played out night of fucking then I can’t give my A game non stop for several hours. So of course he can jerk himself off while I’m trying to rebuild my hype.

 

[Lord_of_Goon]

for me if I start jerking myself off then your not putting it down good

I like being edged out when I’m getting my gspot hit. So I manage my cock and stay edged while my ass is taken care of

 

[Lord_of_Goon]

One, no one can give you 100%, the human body and our brains aren't made that way. But setting that aside, why is the goal for him to give you all of his attention? Is that the best sex possible? Can't his self pleasure also serve you or is the goal to deprive him full stop, or is there something coming from you that makes it worth his while? Rhetorical questions don't expect an answer.

Two things I've noticed being fucked and fucking (let's conservatively say in 30 years it's been 500 men, and a few dozen women). I enjoy seeing a man hard while I fuck him because I know he's hard because I am pleasuring him. If I want him in chastity, I put him in chastity, I don't expect his penis to excuse itself (most of us who bottom lots trained the cock this way so as not to come before the top because I have yet to meet a top who will fuck a man again who came and stopped).

Lack of attention to the bottom's orgasm (forplay, arousal ,erection) has caused both tops and bottoms issues. Tops actually respond to a limp dick by losing their erections in many cases. I've seen this result in embarrassment for the top, or aggressive bottom blaming (something they did was the reason he got limp). These dynamics were always present in the sex spaces and group play events I attended but it has gotten so bad in some cases I just don't go because I ain't watching that or experiencing it.

Oh and this is where the Dungeons and Dragons stuff comes from. Take it or leave it.

https://www.amazon.com/Leathermans-Handbook-25th-Anniversary/dp/156333559X

Agreed. Simply put. If I see a boner then that can only mean good things. And I like anal when I’m edged out. Just have to be careful Bc it’s easy to blow accidentally

 

[flooble]

Huh. Literally the only time I'll be upset about a bottom jerking himself off while I'm fucking him is if we're doing a dom/sub thing. I mean...I just can't understand not being turned on by someone loving what you're doing so much that they have to jerk themselves as well.
Then again I'm usually pretty good at making guys cum hands free, so...

 

[grboy202]

if not caged, i never touch it when fucked either by cock or a strap. as already said it goes limp after a few secs and i really enjoy multiple hands free sort of orgasms!

 

[sexyd53]

damn i horny..i wish someone would fuck me -

 

[deine_huendin]

respect your top
never wank

 

[LICNYCgay]

Personally, I like to suck him off while I fuck him...yes..quite flexible. Nothing hotter than him cumming in my mouth while I'm cumming in his ass!

I need you to fuck me.

 

[SilverEye]

No. From both sides of it, doesn’t bug me at all

 

[sexyd53]

on them rare occasions when I let a gay guy suck my pole, he keeps his britches on, closed up, and his hands away from himself. no I don't want him touching his thing, his there to take care of my need to squirt a load. he can take care of himself after I have zipped up and left. I don't want to see it, or know about it, its not my business, but then I am not a "gay guy" per se, but for that small percentage of us 99 straight fellas who are OK with getting serviced and not just looking, just wanted to chime in and give an opinion. feel free to ignore it if you feel it ain't relevant to the discussion.

do you ever fuck them ?

 

[deleted1338241]

topping/bottoming is not necessarily about domination and submission. So in a regular non domination setting: if he wants to jerk off himself, it's up to him, I don't mind that at all.